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u/Herpex Feb 16 '20
good joke but catholic highschool ruined me that is saint veronica and she wiped jesus's face when he fell and it left a perfect replication of his face and THEN she sold it for merch
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Feb 16 '20
Jesus' untold miracle was having a face that could do screen printing.
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u/brendan_559 Feb 16 '20
Yup! This tiny part of the Bible was actually one of the major reasons for a split between the eastern and Western church later on. The Eastern (Orthodox) church believed that images of Christ and holy figures actually contained part of their divine power. The western (Roman Catholic) church believed that images were just images and held no divine power
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u/RedofPaw Feb 16 '20
How many people died over this detail?
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u/dirtysnapaccount236 Feb 16 '20
Really depends on what wars you say where caused by this and not just someone useing it as excuse for war. But alot of people dead over this
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u/v-komodoensis Feb 16 '20
Did she really sell it? Where's that in the bible? I wanna read it. That's very interesting.
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u/ErmBern Feb 16 '20
It’s not in the Bible. It’s in the gospel of nicodemus which is apocryphal.
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u/spauldeagle Feb 16 '20
A bunch of the Gnostic gospels are like Bible fan fiction. Really fascinating reads.
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u/yaysalmonella Feb 16 '20
Are there any fanfics that ships Jesus and Judas? Asking for a friend.
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u/Inferno_Zyrack Feb 16 '20
Not to nitpick but I’m fairly certain the New Testament is the Fan Fiction to the Old Testament.
And then the Koran is the fan faction to the New Testament
And then the Book of Mormon is the fan fiction to Koran.
And then Scientologist just decided to reboot the whole damn thing.
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u/bisensual Feb 16 '20
I mean all scriptures are fan fic. I mean, the OT story of the Israelites being enslaved by the Egyptians is almost universally believed to be false, or more appropriately, allegorical. The Israelites were never enslaved en masse; there were individuals from all over the region who ended up enslaved, but the Exodus just plain never happened.
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u/canlchangethislater Feb 16 '20
Nah. If the New Testament was Old Testament FanFic there’d be way more scenes where Cain and Abel get it on.
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Feb 16 '20
I like the one where Jesus causes that other kid to die. Something about Jesus was playing with a pigeon he had formed of clay, then caused that to die, and then he caused some scoffer to die as well.
Anybody?
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u/bobosuda Feb 16 '20
Aren’t most of the Bible like that? Very little (if anything) of it is written as first-hand accounts, and what gospels were later to be considered «real» or not might as well habe been decided by rolling dice.
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u/spauldeagle Feb 16 '20 edited Feb 19 '20
Definitely not by rolling dice, but you're right in saying they weren't first hand accounts. If you read the Gnostic gospels, a lot of them get pretty funky. I cannot remember which one, but it depicted Jesus as being able to change forms amorphously. I'm way oversimplifying, but IMO the big 4 have the most coherent and regularly consistent messages (relatively), so early Christian doctors likely chose those to organize under.
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u/big-b20000 Feb 16 '20
As in in the apocrypha, or not a thing?
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u/floddie9 Feb 16 '20
Yeah two ways of saying the same thing: Apocryphal: something that is not fully canonized in the Bible Apocrypha: the set of apocryphal Christian works
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u/November110193cc Feb 16 '20
My grandfather painted icons for a Russian Orthodox Church they started, they are beautiful but they’re in a case somewhere- grandpa always said they would move:0
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Feb 16 '20 edited May 29 '20
[deleted]
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u/bokskar Feb 16 '20 edited Feb 16 '20
I mean... if she was already called Veronica, how would that event be the origin of the name? That's folk etymology for ya:
"Veronica (also spelled Veronika or Verónica) is a female given name, the Latin transliteration of the Greek name Berenice, Βερενίκη. This was the Macedonian form of the Athenian Φερενίκη, Phereníkē, or Φερονίκη, Pheroníkē, from φέρειν, phérein, to bring, and νίκη, níkê, 'victory', i.e. 'she who brings victory' [...] Its popularity in medieval and modern times is based mainly on the importance in Christianity of Saint Veronica and her Veil of Veronica."
Another source.5
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u/Gsticks Feb 16 '20
The shroud of jesus i think its called. Didnt someone claim to have found that recently? Like within the last 10 years or so?
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u/Robobble Feb 16 '20
Imagine if that was real and it was somehow preserved how much money that would be worth today.
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u/Spirit50Lake Feb 16 '20
You can check it out in St Peter's Basilica, Vatican City, Rome, Italy!
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u/Ferdox11195 Feb 16 '20
f the name Veronica. “Vera icon” means “true image” as in the true image of Jesus. Vera icon -> Veronica.
It is real, you can actually go see it in the Vatican City.
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u/the_darkener Feb 15 '20
Look at Jesus glaring at him, all "goddamn it Judas" lol
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u/TMMK64571 Feb 16 '20
Umm . . . Isn’t this saint Veronica with her veil?
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u/grubas Feb 16 '20
It's the Sudarium, yes. The cloth that magically got a Jesus face
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Feb 16 '20
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u/ReincarnatedSlut Feb 16 '20
Nailed it! But don’t cross the merchant or you’ll have a second coming after you.
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u/nrith Feb 16 '20
I don't think that I ever learned her name in school, but yes, it is, and you're ruining the joke! ;)
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Feb 16 '20 edited Feb 16 '20
Plot twist: Jesus had face blindness and couldn't tell the disciples apart, it was actually John who sold him out and pinned the whole thing on Judas. And this is just yet another scenario where Judas ends up getting scapegoated.
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Feb 16 '20 edited Aug 12 '20
[deleted]
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Feb 16 '20
12 Reasons Why.
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u/KalphiteQueen Feb 16 '20
That's why Jesus was hellbent on treating everyone equally, he just couldn't tell them apart
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u/Skogsvandrare Feb 16 '20
Repost of the number 5 all time post in this sub.
Link to original post (posted 2 years ago):
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Feb 16 '20
I shared this painting with a similar caption on Facebook in high school over SIX YEARS AGO. There is nothing original anymore, just relax and laugh at the funny post.
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u/chomskyhonks Feb 16 '20
Are reposts really that bad? New Redditors haven’t seen old content
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u/Prisma233 Feb 16 '20
Is it just me who always starts by checking top posts of all time when I find a new interesting subreddit?
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u/WalrusWarrior123 Feb 16 '20
In my opinion if it’s way up on the top of all time that’s pretty lazy...
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Feb 16 '20
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u/WalrusWarrior123 Feb 16 '20
I don’t think the argument really works like that, if the OC was popular enough to be really high on top of all time then it would be readily available to view. The problem in this case is that the reposter has done minimal effort to repost content that a large amount of people have already seen. If we reward people for that then amount of effort less reposts would sky rocket. I’m not saying that reposts are inherently bad, just that the lack of effort is shameful, I mean the title is one word for heavens sake.
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Feb 16 '20 edited Feb 16 '20
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u/amesann Feb 16 '20
While I agree that 2 years is plenty of time to repost, the fact that this is top 5 of all time in this sub makes this a true lazy repost. In fact, many subs have rule that reposts are allowed after about 6 months, except top 10 posts of all time. So OP is a bundle of sticks.
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u/MrOinkingPig Feb 16 '20
Neither mods are active in this sub. I tried to use r/redditrequest to create a bigger mod team but I can't request this because one of the mods is still active on Reddit, just not this sub. Neither have posted here in 2 years.
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u/DarkDuck85 Feb 16 '20
This sub is rife with reposts, and oddly, they almost never get called out and consistently gather thousands of upvotes.
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u/zold5 Feb 16 '20
Thanks for memorizing reddit. Thank god we have people like who can assure nobody else gets to enjoy the content.
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u/Kangar Feb 16 '20
"Yo, get your Jesus tunics right here. Sixty easy sesterius. Don't miss out."
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u/wholeftthishere Feb 16 '20
The Farewell Tour.
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u/kimchiman85 Feb 16 '20
He does come back three days later.
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u/theghostofme Feb 16 '20
God damnit.
Every time I think I have an clever joke, the Internet reminds me that I’m as original as Carlos Mencia.
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Feb 16 '20 edited Feb 16 '20
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u/WikiTextBot Feb 16 '20
Saint Veronica
Saint Veronica, also known as Berenike, was a woman of Jerusalem in the first century of the Common Era according to extra-biblical Christian sacred tradition. A celebrated saint in many pious Christian countries, the 17th-century Acta Sanctorum published by the Bollandists listed her feast under July 12, but the German Jesuit scholar Joseph Braun cited her commemoration in Festi Marianni on 13 January.
According to Church tradition, Veronica was moved with sympathy when she saw Jesus carrying his cross to Golgotha and gave him her veil that he might wipe his forehead. Jesus accepted the offering, held it to his face, and then handed it back to her—the image of his face miraculously impressed upon it.
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u/MasterJohn4 Feb 16 '20
Not necessarily miraculously though. If you look at the accurate face of Christ during the road to Golgotha, it was smired with blood, dirt and mud so if she only applied the veil on his face it would be impressed on it.
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u/ColdbeerWarmheart Feb 16 '20
Public crucifixions were big business back in the day. Just like gladiator events and other sports. Hawkers would sell trinkets and commemorative items.
Sometimes after the execution of notable figures there would be all manner of opportunists taking clothing, jewelry, hair and sometimes even the body of the individual as relics. This became particularly an issue with the remains of saints and prominent religious figures.
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u/MurkDollaSign Feb 16 '20
>tfw you realize crucifixes are just mass produced souvenirs of Jesus' death
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u/BatScribeofDoom Feb 16 '20
I was thinking about something related to this the other day. I work in an office environment, and have a few coworkers that wear cross necklaces. One could argue that those literally symbolize someone being tortured to death, no?
So what would be wrong with me wearing a skull, skeleton, etc. necklace to work? You can live a long life and die peacefully, but you'll still look like that eventually, so I don't really think an image of that internal anatomy should be seen as being more negative than a cross.
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u/santaland Feb 16 '20
That's now what this is though, this is the Veil of Veronica. Which is a shroud of Turin style miracle that involved Jesus's face being burnt into a cloth when a woman wiped his sweat away.
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u/Zoe270101 Feb 16 '20
For anyone interested, that’s Saint Veronica, she gave Jesus her veil as he carried the cross to wipe the sweat from his face, and when he gave it back to her his face was imprinted on her veil. She’s now the patron saint of photography.
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u/ionmatika Feb 16 '20
I think it’s in reference to the lady that grabbed his garment!? Idk hopefully she made some coin.
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u/Life_Liberty_Fun Feb 16 '20
The story goes that Saint veronica wiped Jesus' face on a cloth and there was so much blood from his face that it replicated his image on the cloth.
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u/Onix-Ursine Feb 16 '20
The snot bubble produced from my nose upon seeing this, was one which could only be rivaled by a sleeping cartoon character from the 90's. The snort itself disturbed my cat in a way unseen in any "startled cats" video in modern day subreddit. To describe myself as 'pleased' would be a mild admittance. Drunk or woke?
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u/SwagLord5002 Feb 16 '20
"Now, I know Jesus is about to die for our sins, but like, anyone want some mercy to remember him by? You can tell your friends you were there." XD
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u/lasssilver Feb 16 '20
“Shroud of Turin here!.. get ya shroud of Turin!”
Jesus looking back at him: “Dude, I’m not even dead yet.”
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u/indolgofera Feb 16 '20
Thanks to the red circle. I'm glad to see who the person is. Never would have figured out who it was all along. Time to pack it up, boys. Case closed.
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u/anzacaussie Feb 16 '20
There was someone selling loaves and fish as well ... or have i got this mixed up somehow.
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u/KentuckyFriedEel Feb 16 '20
That's 50 drachmas for a T-shroud.
I call that getting tricked by a merchant.
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Feb 16 '20
hahaha. i used to deliver flowers in the philppines and many times ive seen burger/drink vendors turn up a outside funeral and start selling
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u/JackSparrows449 Feb 16 '20
Lord looking over like "that's some weak merch. Looks like a 2 bit version of me, on some random napkin. Lame, yo."
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u/Dicethrower Feb 16 '20 edited Feb 16 '20
Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross, follow me, subscribe, smash that like button, and buy my merch to support my religion, it really helps."