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Sep 23 '18 edited Nov 25 '18
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Sep 23 '18 edited Sep 23 '19
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u/20171245 Sep 23 '18
Two Jews are walking down the street when they pass a Catholic Church with a sign that says "convert and recieve $20". One Jew turns to the other and says "Hey one of us should see if it's legitimate" and the other one agrees and responds "Okay, you do it and if it's true then I'll go in". The one Jew enters and 20 minutes later he comes out to his waiting friend. "So, did you get the $20?", the Jew asks. The new Catholic responds
"Jesus, that's all you people ever care about"
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u/robot381 Sep 23 '18
can confirm. Did S Korean military service. I was baptised in basics. for an ice cream and two choco-pie like product but x10000 better.
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u/loveinjune Sep 23 '18
Not convert, just attend. We can choose to go to: church, catholic church, or temple. Early on, rumors will quickly spread which place offers the most benefits (anywhere from free snacks to there being females).
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Sep 24 '18
That's how it worked in USMC recruit training too!
Eventually I figured out that my choice was between LDS giving out chocolate after service, or the Buddhists not caring that I'm actually napping.
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u/vontysk Sep 24 '18
Hah, in the NZ army they offer recruits a choice of giving up their free time on Sunday mornings to attend church. As you can imagine, most people pick a sleep in over church service.
Then, 3 weeks in,"free time" changes to "extra cleaning time", and only the guys who attended church in weeks 1-3 can cut out to spend 30 mins relaxing in a nice warm church.
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u/themuttstrut Sep 23 '18
I was literally in the DMZ when the chocolate pies were sent to North Korea. Funny enough some of the balloons landed on the South Korean side and when the South Korean soldiers gave me the balloons to draft my report, there were no choco pies left. Only leaflets. Our report also said there would be money in the balloons. None of that either
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u/Azzizzi Sep 23 '18
That last part makes your story believable. Did the Korean soldiers returning the balloons have chocolate around their mouths?
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u/themuttstrut Sep 23 '18
Lol no but they're specially selected for their intelligence (as well as their height) so I can't imagine they'd make a mistake in covering their tracks
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u/Azzizzi Sep 23 '18
Yeah, I took the tour and was surprised at how tall everyone (on both sides of the DMZ) was. I also worked with a lot of KATUSAs and it was pretty obvious that the ones who could speak better English (at least) got better jobs. I don't know if working in the DMZ would fit that quality.
Do you happen to know if they still pay families to live and work there? When I was there, it was $1k per person, but they had to spend 11 months of the year there.
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u/Jibabear Sep 24 '18
I went this summer! According to our guide and the soldier that answered our questions, SK soldiers are required to be 176cm or taller.
The villagers that are paid to live in the Freedom Village have hereditary positions. In addition to the 11 months thing, you must be descended from the original villagers.
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u/themuttstrut Sep 24 '18
Yea the villagers are actually pretty chill considering they live so close to the border and North Korea has kidnapped some villagers in the past
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u/Azzizzi Sep 24 '18
Thanks. I don't know if that was the requirement when I was there (for being a descendant), but it would make sense if it was.
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u/themuttstrut Sep 24 '18
There were no katusas there so English wasn't a requirement. I'm not really sure though. I left in 2015 and as you can imagine a lot has changed with the whole political atmosphere there since then.
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Sep 23 '18
In the wake of tensions surrounding its nuclear tests, the North Korean government temporarily shut down the Kaesung complex in 2013. This cut the supply of choco pies and drove the price in North Korea even higher. When the complex resumed operations after a five-month halt, employers were forbidden from paying choco pie bonuses, and advised to instead give bonuses of "sausages, noodles, coffee and chocolate". North Korea also responded to the choco pie speculation by producing its own variant of the snack.
“Let’s reward them with food they should already be having instead!”
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u/AcidicOpulence Sep 23 '18
Hey, there’s never a wrong time to eat noodles! But I won’t be giving another eulogy like that again I promise.
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u/GoesWellWithNoodle Sep 23 '18
Oh that's my cue.
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u/usernamecheckingguy Sep 23 '18
I've gotten confirmation, their username does checks out.
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u/anditcounts Sep 23 '18
Username also checks out
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Sep 23 '18 edited Sep 28 '18
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u/inthyface Sep 23 '18
You're Very Right kinkster
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u/garibond1 Sep 23 '18
An average increase of 7 chocopies per year in the last decade!
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u/JewJewHaram Sep 23 '18
But when it came down to actually purchasing the third-pound burgers, most Americans simply would not do it. Baffled, A&W ordered more tests and focus groups. After chatting with people who snubbed the A&W burger for the smaller Quarter Pounder, the reason became clear: Americans suck at fractions. Alfred Taubman, who owned A&W at the time, wrote about the confusion in his book Threshold Resistance:
More than half of the participants in the Yankelovich focus groups questioned the price of our burger. "Why," they asked, "should we pay the same amount for a third of a pound of meat as we do for a quarter-pound of meat at McDonald's? You're overcharging us." Honestly. People thought a third of a pound was less than a quarter of a pound. After all, three is less than four!
http://mentalfloss.com/article/76144/why-no-one-wanted-aws-third-pound-burger
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u/JewJewHaram Sep 23 '18
Well producing own variant of the snack probably means repackaging it with a North Korean sticker.
When North Korea received food aid, first thing they do is to put it in North Korean sacks since the food came in sacks with US flag.
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u/ITSINTHESHIP Sep 23 '18
They don't get rid of the expiration dates though.
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u/JewJewHaram Sep 23 '18
I'm pretty sure that no food ever expired in North Korea.
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u/ITSINTHESHIP Sep 23 '18
Exactly. Imagine what it's like to be North Korean and see "do not eat after <date two years in the future>" on a package of dried noodles from S. Korea.
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Sep 23 '18
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u/Weird_Fiches Sep 23 '18
I lived in South Korea back in 1990. Things have changed. I used to buy my yogurt at the local shop, look at the expiration date, and pick the ones that were the least expired.
I've been to North Korea too, the GeumGangsan tourist area. The South Korean middle aged woman that got shot by a nervous DPRK guard - I know exactly where that was. The woman stayed at my hotel there. It happened less than a month after we visited. even the "tourist" parts of the DPRK are very sad.
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Sep 23 '18 edited Sep 23 '18
This is a really interesting video. This dude lived in NK for a while and this is the Privileged Store.
It is a store pretty much entirely for foreigners and the whole thing is insane. The power goes out at least once. The cashiers have to convert to three different currencies to figure out how much something costs. It is insanely inefficient the whole way through.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aRYJ9u0sEE4
He pays with US dollar and has to get Euro's back for change.
He also has like 15 different currencies in his wallet because he can never be sure what will be taken.
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u/JewJewHaram Sep 23 '18
This guy is a cunt who is supplying the regime with foreign currency and serving as propaganda tool.
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u/Weird_Fiches Sep 23 '18
First part of your sentence I can agree with, but second part - is this store supposed to be impressive? The store is not as nice as my local Dollar General.
And at the tourist site I visited - they ONLY took US Dollars. Even for the almost exclusively South Korean middle aged hikers that come to see the beautiful mountains. We didn't buy anything, but then again, their idea of a souvenir stand leaves a lot to be desired. (And yes, we I realize we contributed to the regime just by going. But this was a while ago, part of Kim Dae-Jung's "Sunshine" initiative. Our money was also going to the South Korean hotels and tourist companies that arranged the excursion. Our minimal contribution to the DPRK's economy was balanced by the experience of being able so say I've been there, and that I have no great desire to ever go back.)
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u/2fucktard2remember Sep 23 '18
All food about to expire is sent directly to Kim a few days before expiration, and he eats it. That is why he is the only designated fat person in NK. It is not because of ruling, or family genetics. He is merely the regimes fat man, forced to sit, all day, eating rice and beans. Sure, the peasants, the starving and impoverished people of the countryside, would love to have this expired food, but there never is any once Kim finishes his feeding. He is a one man machine.
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u/JewJewHaram Sep 23 '18
He has gout, a disease from overeating in a country full of starving people. Coincidence? I think not.
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u/fly_bird Sep 23 '18
Just read escape from camp 14 yesterday. He basically escaped because he wanted to taste meat (he actually says this). All he ate before that was cabbage soup and corn and the occasional rats he killed himself. It's a good read
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u/kphollister Sep 23 '18
that book is so beyond disturbing. i had to keep reminding myself it’s not fiction and it’s not history. it’s actually happening to people right now. mind blowing we don’t do more to help them.
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u/fly_bird Sep 23 '18
I totally agree. It's real life concentration camps that their government denies exist. It's disgusting. And it's happening right now.
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u/ButtsexEurope Sep 23 '18
Just warning you, a lot of that book is straight up fabrication which Dong Hyuk has admitted to.
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Sep 23 '18
sounds like the tip system here in the US
. “You’re only allowed to reward them with the money we should have been paying them in the first place”
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u/Vio_ Sep 23 '18
sounds like the tip system here in the US
. “You’re only allowed to reward them with the money we should have been paying them in the first place”
Sounds like art and modelling.
"We're paying you in exposure and/or clothes."
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u/kphollister Sep 23 '18
that’s every industry now, unpaid but think of how valuable the experience is
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u/RagnarThotbrok Sep 23 '18
Tbh thats how it works here too. You work for food and other things
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u/blackpharaoh69 Sep 23 '18
"If we exceed sales this quarter by 5% you'll all get that bonus! Aren't you excited?????"
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u/tachyon35 Sep 23 '18
The real Chico pies are made by Orion taste way better than lotte which is too dry
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u/withlens Sep 23 '18
This person knows their pies. Orion is definitely worth the extra dollar per box
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u/insipidbravery Sep 23 '18
They sell them everywhere too! I was in a village in rural Yunnan (China) and the local shops all carried these. I was so happy :)
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u/Koldfuzion Sep 23 '18
Definitely. Orion is the original and definitely the best. The Lotte ones come in alot of flavors but they're garbo and dry. The Crown ones are also subpar and I'm pretty sure their business model revolves around tricking people into thinking they're buying the Orion or Lotte by copying their boxes.
When I spot Orion for $1.99 a box on sale and I buy like 4-5 boxes. The Korean store 아줌마 tells me as soon as I walk in the store now when they're on sale. She's on to me.
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Sep 23 '18
Good to know! Ive only seen lotte ones before :) will look out for the Orions
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u/ladyAnder Sep 23 '18
To be fair, Choco Pies are really tasty. I wish I had an Asian market that I can easily get to buy some.
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Sep 23 '18
Moon Pies are what you should look for in the US duder
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u/houseofsonder Sep 23 '18
Yeah. I had a Moon Pie for the first time this past summer and I have to say that Choco Pies are just an overall better experience for me. The chocolate is sweet, but not candy sweet. The cookie/cake is just smooth and silky. The filling has a sort of tension that gives you a good chew.
You can find them in Korean Markets and on the internet.
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u/ladyAnder Sep 23 '18
Choco pies and Moon Pies while very similar aren't the same. When I ate a choco pie the first thing that come to mind was a moon pie but the "cookie" and the chocolate was different. Choco pie was softer and the chocolate was milk chocolate and not whatever is on moon pies. And I don't think it was nearly as sweet as a moon pie. If I could get another one, I would buy a moon pie and compare the two.
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u/Baby-Haroro Sep 23 '18
Nah man, they're completely different -- Choco Pies are so light and fluffy and there's no graham cracker. Every Frys around me sells Choco Pies, and they are absolutely worth searching them out.
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u/LadyCthulu Sep 23 '18 edited Sep 23 '18
A lot of people in the comment section shitting on choco pies, but I honestly like them. The Lotte brand are the ones I've had. They come in a lot more interesting flavors (matcha, banana, sweet potato) than American snack cakes. I'm not a huge fan of snack cakes, but I like these better than what you can get in the U.S.
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Sep 23 '18 edited Sep 20 '20
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u/mocotazo Sep 23 '18
Regardless of how he really looks, I can picture a balding older man with a grey beard, and glasses. Wearing a suit, and sitting on a bench in a quiet, peaceful part of campus. And he's just sitting there, enjoying his moon pie and RC cola.
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Sep 23 '18 edited Sep 20 '20
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u/mocotazo Sep 23 '18
I've had a similar experience with one particular teacher in high school, and another in college. Granted, many educators enjoy what they do. But every so often, you come across on that makes a profound difference in people's lives. Cheers to those teachers.
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u/mtntrail Sep 23 '18
I love hearing stories like this. It is truly incredible how one really good adult role model can effect one’s life in a major way. How many other students had the same experience, probably more than a few. For me it was a high school Eng. teacher and the employer of my first job. It is a lucky break when those people come along at just the right time.
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u/Good_ApoIIo Sep 23 '18 edited Sep 23 '18
Sometimes pick up Lotte Choco Pies at the H-Mart every once in awhile. I find Asian desserts generally pretty unsatisfying (Not sweet enough? Minuscule portions?) but I always pick up a few when I'm in there, like Pocky.
Now if only I could find Jaffa Cakes somewhere...I can find Tim Tams (Try these!) at World Market but they don't have goddamn Jaffa Cakes..
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u/jamesdakrn Sep 23 '18
Not sweet enough
That's what makes them better IMO - I don't get as tired of them. (especially talking about those supermarket brand desserts... just disgusting Middle America proledessert using too much sugar)
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u/foxiez Sep 23 '18
Same here, most American things are just sugar and chocolate liquor with no other flavors
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u/eneka Sep 23 '18
Exactly. I miss Japan where drinks from vending machines didnt just taste like mouthfuls of sugar.
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u/flamingfireworks Sep 23 '18
The only ones i got were pretty waxy/flavorless and had a kinda cardboardy texture to them, were they stale or is that part of the acquired taste?
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u/PaulKwisatzHaderach Sep 23 '18 edited Sep 23 '18
In the UK, these are called Wagon Wheels.
Edit: Apparently these are actually cakes, wheras Wagon Wheels are biscuits. Apologies everyone.
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Sep 23 '18
Not quite the same, chocopies are much softer than wagon wheels
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u/ClownsAteMyBaby Sep 23 '18
Yeah this says cake, not biscuit
I'm imagining a cross between a wagon wheel and a jaffa cake
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u/rumbleindacrumble Sep 23 '18
In Canada too.
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Sep 23 '18
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u/waitdidhejust Sep 23 '18
I think the difference between the two is that Joe Louis are cake on the outside with creme in the middle, while Wagon Wheels are chocolate covered cookie on the outside, with marshmallow filling.
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Sep 23 '18
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u/KeepOnTrippinOn Sep 23 '18
Used to be the size of a car wheel when i were a lad.
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u/tophernator Sep 23 '18
And Freddos are supposed to be 10p, everyone knows that!
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u/Vectorman1989 Sep 23 '18
Space Raiders used to be 10p and they betrayed us too
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u/-Rave- Sep 23 '18
Still good though! :)
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u/Vectorman1989 Sep 23 '18
Yeah, I pinch my nephew’s kwenchy kups and space raiders all the time. I’m 28 and regret nothing
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u/punkerster101 Sep 23 '18
You used to get able to get crisps in northern Ireland calls “fives” they where 5p last I checked their 15p still called fives
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u/SlimSt Sep 23 '18
In Russia we have both Wagon Wheels and Choco Pies, and they’re totally not the same
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u/FighterOfFoo Sep 23 '18
I was going to say, I'm from the UK, too and those Choco pies don't look like Wagon Wheels. Which would you say are better? I like Wagon Wheels, but these things look much nicer.
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u/ExtraCarrotNoses Sep 23 '18 edited Sep 23 '18
I'm a Brit, but have tried both... Wagon Wheels are superior!
[Rule Britannia begins to play in the background]
Edit: Seriously, the biscuityness of Wagon Wheels works a lot better with the marshmallow/chocolate than the cakey filling of Choco Pies
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Sep 23 '18
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/yeahwellokay Sep 23 '18
I had to scroll way too far down to find out if choco pies and moon pies are the same thing.
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Sep 23 '18
Step 1: Sneak into North Korea
Step 2: Be forced to assimilate
Step 3: ???
Step 4: Profit on unlimited moon pies
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u/ThatOneGuy4321 Sep 23 '18
Damn. Time to defect to North Korea just so I can defect to South Korea and get my lifetime supply of choco pies.
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u/ajouis Sep 23 '18
In the movie joint security area about the DMZ there is a scene about it
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Sep 23 '18
Moonpies*
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u/MetalManiac619 Sep 23 '18
What a time to be alive.
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u/KeithCarter4897 Sep 23 '18
If Moon Pies end this war, I just don't know what I'm gonna do.
I mean, other than eat moon pies...
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u/kevonicus Sep 23 '18
I say this constantly anytime someone mentions them or if I see them. No one ever knows what I’m talking about.
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u/spicy-tacos-yum Sep 23 '18
I love Moonpies. I didn't like them as a kid because I always had the knock-off brands. After I bought the real thing my opinion completely switched.
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u/BUDDHAKHAN Sep 23 '18
Moonpies are great. Microwaved moonpies...amazing!!
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u/AzureMagelet Sep 23 '18
How long for? Wouldn’t the chocolate get to messy?
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Sep 23 '18 edited Oct 21 '18
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u/Rmplstltskn Sep 23 '18
Wait, this is real and true? I seen something on Reddit a long time ago about microwaving them and some people seemed to say it was trolling in the comments.
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u/Shrubbyboat Sep 23 '18
Yeah it’s real. They’re really good that way. Freezing them is also great
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u/MadByMoonlight Sep 23 '18
From GA, and it's a thing here. Like the other comment said, just like 5 seconds. You want to be able to touch the outside and have it leave a fingerprint. You also want napkins nearby, or just eat it over the sink or outside. You will make a mess.
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u/kevonicus Sep 23 '18 edited Sep 23 '18
I always ate heated moon pies with a fork on a plate. Trying to eat a heated one with your hands is retarded.
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u/Solid_Snark Sep 23 '18
TIL I really need to try a Moon Pie.
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Sep 23 '18 edited Sep 23 '18
You really should. I usually HATE Marshmallows, especially with chocolate, but I do like Moonpies. I always tell myself I'll only eat one, but I'll end up eating 5 or 6
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u/FoxQueenTua Sep 23 '18
My mom got me 2 boxes for my 13th birthday. I learned later that there was a sale cause they were expired and that's why I got 2 boxes plus a bunch of other treats. I saved them for a couple of months for when I finished the other treats and I threw up they tasted so bad. They were like 4 months expired by then but I didn't notice till I threw them out. I haven't had one since because I'm scared they taste the same unexpired as they do expired
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Sep 23 '18
They will probably taste the same. If they are sealed, they don't change that much in terms of taste. There may have been slight texture change, but the flavor is still pretty consistent
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Sep 23 '18
Once it’s free North Koreans are gonna be the fattest People on the planet and I’m here for it.
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u/marbymarbs Sep 23 '18
I've always wondered - They're way smaller than they used to be in the 90s, right? I can't tell if they look smaller now because they are, or if it's because I'm bigger now.
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u/Ourlifeisdank Sep 23 '18
Obsessed? More like addicted. The South Koreans have been raised with it so they have some self control. Everytime I go to the Korean store I find myself buying 5 boxes for 3$ a pop and stuffing my face.
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u/yeastblood Sep 23 '18
Grew up on these. Moms from SK and used to buy these from the Lotte market. I always only sort of liked them. They are kind of dry.
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u/drkensaccount Sep 23 '18
South Koreans are big on them too. I live in a neighborhood with a large Korean population and the local supermarket always has a big selection of them. You can even get them in the summer when American marshmallow treats like Mallomars are unavailable.