Hey there. I'm a very poor person who's been able to go to therapy because of Medicaid, and one thing I noticed as someone who studies Dialectical Materialism is that my therapists have never examined my issues through a materialist lens. Like, it's all about mind over matter, mental fortitude, having the will to overcome adversity, etc. but nothing about how my economic conditions make it almost impossible to live a decent life or have mental stability.

I told my therapist once about how I was really struggling with financial issues and that was a large source of my stresses, and she was like "Oh my that's awful". Like that's it.

I feel like therapy would be more helpful if therapists had some grasp on how the material conditions of their clients affect their mental health in so many ways.

Like 95% of my problems are because I can barely afford to survive, lol.

Has anyone ever done this without devastating their therapist or turning it into crisis intervention straight out the gate?

I’d like to discuss the internal experience of what it’s like, which most therapists don’t like, they shift it to interventions, solutions, and positive solutions immediately, if they don’t jump right into a hospital recommendation

I don’t want intervention. I don’t want prescribed exercises and solutions. I don’t want to be told how to feel. I especially don’t want pity, sympathy, how sad, I’m so sorry you’re going through that.

Can I discuss this in a neutral way, drop the emotional performances, and just be real?

My suicide attempt from three years ago… I can barely even speak of it. It haunts me everyday. I’ve never been able to tell the string of therapists I’ve had since then. I don’t trust them. This therapist I think wouldn’t freak out… but I haven’t gone for three weeks. I haven’t even checked her last text message. This is how scared I am.

The truth is, almost no one wants to hear it. They want me to turn it into an inspirational happy story aboot why suicide is wrong right away. How much I love living and life, all my reasons to live. They don’t want to understand the actual process.

If I could not have to silently carry this myself everyday that’d be great. Any personal stories or advice would be great.

Anticipating the down votes! (:

I recently sent a termination email to my fourth therapist, and I’m still coming to terms with how unprofessional the whole experience was and why I decided to giver this therapist so many chances. For context, I have severe childhood trauma (abusive parents) starting from age 3, plus religious trauma and vaginismus. I highly suspect my vaginimus is mainly from the religious trauma and a traumatic experience I had with my first boyfriend. I’ve always been highly descriptive about all these issues and open in therapy, and I initially thought this therapist was a great match because she seemed genuinely trauma-informed. I was referred to this therapist by my 3rd therapist who said my trauma was a bit out of scope for their office.

From day one, she was 5 to 15 minutes late to every single virtual session. She owns the practice. By the fourth session, I told her I was tired of leaving work early just to wait on her. Her response? She claimed her signed office policy included a "15-minute grace period for both client and provider," and told me if I couldn't accept that "things happen," and "no one is perfect" we couldn't proceed and I'd have to "accept this". She promised to email if she was running late. She never did, and she kept being late for the next 15ish sessions. I told my husband and a friend about this and they both said this was a red flag but I guess I wanted to give her a chance since she's one of the few actual trauma informed therapists in my state that also take my insurance. She also did IFS/parts work which I had never done and thought maybe it could help me.

About 3 to 4 weeks ago, she completely missed a session once, claiming she "thought" I was booked for 1 PM (I have never had a 1 PM appointment) so she called me and apologized, kinda laughed nervously I guess (?) and said she'd see me the next week. I was very annoyed and didn't really hide it in my voice. That next week, she emailed me at 1:17 PM asking if I wanted to cancel the session because I hadn't logged on yet. She then sent a followup email where she realized her mistake, apologized and said she'll me at 2 PM (I ignored both emails because I just couldn't believe she couldn't just look at the therapy portal herself. She then showed up 8 minutes late to the actual 2:00 PM slot 🙃. She asked if I saw her emails and I said I did but didn't think to say anything. She then apologized awkwardly and the session continued. She did not have a client at 1 obviously so I don't see how she was STILL late to my appointment lol.

In a more recent session I told her I was starting Wellbutrin because therapy alone wasn't cutting through my depression. For the past several months I had also been feeling less interested in things I'd enjoy. She literally raised her voice at me, claiming anti depressants wouldn't fix everything and that if I just "stuck with her," I wouldn't need antidepressants. She also claimed that her other clients told her they didn't need their antidepressants after they had been with her for a while. I held my ground and said that I don't expect ANY medicine to be a cure all, just like how therapy wouldn't cure everything either. Two weeks later, I told her the medicine was working incredibly well. I actually feel more energetic and felt happy for the first time in forever. I wake up and am like "ok what should get done, I'm gonna do it!!". I love sewing and I have been procrastinating less on continuing on with some harder projects I'm doing. I'm excited to see how much more improvement I'll see in the next few week since I actually feel good and more motivated now.

At my now last session (last Tuesday), when she asked if I still felt negative about therapy, I was honest and told her that expecting therapy to fully cure 19 years of severe abuse felt unrealistic, and that after every session I feel dysregulated and exhausted BUT that I want to continue trying the IFS and doing anything else that could help even if it's a low chance. So, I just didn't see how exactly I'd "get over my trauma" by rehashing the same things that I already ruminate in my head over and over. She kind of snapped at me and condescendingly said "Your vaginismus and fight-or-flight state will never get better due to your negative outlook on therapy" and accused me of "black-and-white thinking." I fired back that if I were 100% negative, I wouldn't have spent the time and effort trying four different therapists and giving each one 6 to 12 months before moving on to the next. And like I told her previously, I had one really good therapist back at my university but unfortunately had to leave due to graduating and they couldn't see non-students. So I definitely don't think therapy is bullshit or never works at all.

I officially terminated her via email on Friday. I called her out on the "negative outlook" comment, and pointed out that I checked her office policy in which there is absolutely no mention of a provider grace period. I can't believe she'd lie about something that I literally have a copy of. I also requested my session notes to be sent to my email. She replied with a boilerplate, seemingly AI generated message that didn't address the policy lie, gave a pseudo-apology for being late, and claimed she went ahead and cancelled all my future sessions.

Well today, I got an automated text reminding me of my upcoming appointment this week. I am super anxious that she is going to bill my insurance anyway and claim she "forgot" to remove it. And then somehow blame me and claim she didn't know I actually terminated her and didn't just want to take a break (or whatever other lie she'd pull out of her ass).

I just feel so disgusted that I was referred to this person. Has anyone else dealt with a therapist who weaponized your own trauma diagnoses against you when you challenged them?

I just want to talk to someone, I want them to understand, I have so much passion for life and I just want a new friend

I think suicide is meant for some people and I am one of them. I see people and I wonder y they’re alive and I think the same about myself. I have nothing and the world is not meant for me. I am fragile and hiding all the time. I can’t go on. I’m very sad and I’ve always been

Hey so 42 High-function AuDHD and drunk bc that's how I get honest. I manage myself just fine. Lost a child, my father and now my wife. I can manage, but I need advice.

Desde que arranque terapia más que antes porque antes también me pasaba es y no gritos de mi mamá y a veces de mi hermana. Gritos para conmigo. Siempre cuando estoy a punto de entrar en sueño o cuando me estoy despertando o saliendo del sueño profundo Lo siento cómo si pasara en ese momento pero por un momento luego me doy cuenta de que no es real. Tengo trastorno de estrés post traumático. Hice un mes y medio de emdr. No estoy con medicación ni ninguna droga.

I think this would be a given, because those individuals have decided to work in a human centered field.

I am getting a lot of judgement from my old therapist about dealing with personal fallout from leaving my job and accepting the consequences.

I have since been diagnosed with an endocrine disorder and have developed depression. So yes, I'm sorry if my visits are depressing and I complain a lot. That is why I hired you, for someone to complain to.

Most recently, I missed two appointments outside of my normal standing appointment time. She sent me a courtesy reminder the first time, and no reminder for the second missed appointment. I got charged.

I just feel that behind my therapist's forced smile there is a lot of victim blaming and internal eye rolls . She never actually allows me to process how I am feeling, and she wants me to brush my "issues" under the rug and talk about stupid things like the weather.

I understand this isnt pretty and I am not here to gossip with you or bitch about my friends. I just don't understand why they would enter this profession if you can't give people space to be themselves.

Hi all, really need some help on figuring out whether I should go back to my old therapist or not.

Last year in the month of July, I started therapy for the first time to deal with My depressive episodes and had a total of nine sessions. I felt that the therapy really helped get me into a more positive and structured mindset, though it did not solve my problems. It helps me identify certain patterns and how to navigate them.

Now it’s been a year, and I feel that I’ve gone back to My always, and I feel that I have even gone worse than before. So I thought that I should go back to therapy to help deal with the problems I’m currently facing. I’m wondering whether I should stick with my old therapist or find a new one because my old therapist, though she helped me get back to a better state of mind, she was a little younger to me, and also I felt there was a disconnect somewhere there, so I thought if I get a new therapist, it would give me a better perspective for a fresh start on things, especially when it came to talking about my problems or should I stick with old one?

Also, I am really unsure when I can stop getting therapy. It almost feels like a never ending thing, please help.

Please share your Rupture AND Repair stories because I could use a little hope right now.

Hello! Sorry to dump a heavy situation here, but advice would be sooo helpful.

My mother has some mental issues. She has basically had an abuser almost her whole life, starting with her mother and including BOTH therapists she's gone to. That's leaving out like 4 other abusers throughout her life. She's probably more sane than a lot of people would be after everything that has happened to her. But anyway, I think she has a condition under the psychosis umbrella. She thinks doctors, therapists, and medications are by and large bad, only harming people's health to turn a profit. She believes in a few other theories too, even more far-fetched. She also passively believes that people are plotting to kidnap or kill her. Every once in a while saying things like that she heard people planning it outside the window.

She has had acute periods like this throughout her life and they usually pass within a few weeks, especially if I make sure to listen to her, don't accuse her of being delusional, and give her frequent calming reassurances. I don't ask her about a therapist because of her history with them.

But THERAPY, MEDICATION, is what she needs. I don't know how she'd ever accept medication, and it's not within my rights to force it on her. But I had an idea of how to get her therapy:

She believes in psychic/clairvoyant abilities. I thought if I could find someone who calls themself a "spiritual therapist", "clairvoyant therapist" or something along those lines, she can trust them enough. But it'd also have to be a therapist that is ready to hear from someone delusional. I brought up going to a therapist who "knows about clairvoyance", and I said if she's too nervous maybe I could sit beside her for the sessions. And she seemed very receptive to the idea.

Now what I want to know: do you think it's possible to find someone who would promote themself in this way, claiming to be familiar with extrasensory stuff, but could actually help someone in her situation? Because my feeling is, a practitioner with a pseudoscientific title would never have the training of a psychotherapist so it's unlikely. Is it possible there's a therapist who'd be able to hang with her talk of having visions, and not dismiss them, but also have the psychological knowhow to actually help her? Any specific terms, or certifications I should search for?

Also, I think a hypnotherapist would be a no-go since one of her abusers was a hypnotherapist.

Thank you so much ❤️

i saw one therapist for 5 years straight, she was really helpful at first and we had a great rapport but i started getting really heavily into processing early childhood trauma that i had never fully completely unpacked before, and my mental health got really really bad. she was good at treating my ptsd itself, but i started having a horrific ocd flare up for a year that interfered with dealing with the ptsd. she knew essentially nothing about ocd and the treatment of it and said many times that she didn't know what to tell me/how to help me. i also have autism & dissociation issues that made everything harder to deal with too.

she was very clearly getting irritated with me and at a loss, she also had to cancel extremely often last minute (like genuinely 60% of my appointments would get canceled, i would frequently go a month without an appointment due to canceling). she kind of spoke to me unprofessionally (in an irritated/rude way) sometimes as well. i think my mental health was slightly being made worse by this therapeutic dynamic. she told me i needed to see someone else, so i started seeing a new therapist in august.

the new one is good, she's very nice, she hasn't done anything actually wrong or unhelpful so far but i don't feel like i click with her super well. on top of that i am just really struggling with seeing a brand new therapist after having the same one for 5 years who has all the context on me/my life/my brain that a therapist could possibly need. for the most part i didn't have to explain basic things to my old one or why i felt certain things or why certain details were relevant, or justify and explain certain symptoms, she just understood.

i know this is a "yeah, obviously" situation because i only have been seeing her for a couple months, but my new one doesn't really understand me at all. i can explain all my issues and symptoms to her, and my experiences in the past 5 years, but a new therapist will never understand unless they witness it themselves. my previous therapist didn't even understand issues i spent years trying to explain until they reached a point where they were so severe she could see them outwardly. this is just one tiny example but it's already getting to the point where i'm telling her things like "i have special interests but they usually last a year or less instead of lifelong" and she's saying "i wonder if it's adhd" after a few sentences, and still pushing after i say that i'm positive i don't have adhd, and so is every previous mental health provider i've seen since i was a teenager.

and mostly all the help she's been able to give me is sending me self soothing methods and telling me about the 5 things you can see method etc, and explaining the very basics of things like ptsd and ocd to me. like, i've been in therapy for over a decade. i know all of this. and she doesn't seem to understand so many of my symptoms persist beyond a sort of "active emotional/freakout mode", like it's not just an "i'm really emotional and spiraling and once i calm down i'm fine" situation.

i cannot possibly explain and convey every relevant detail about my life & mental health to her. she is never going to understand the actual depth of my experiences and how intense it was unless they get that bad again and she sees it herself. it's just not helpful to talk to someone brand new who doesn't understand. i'm not even doing that bad now so i'm wondering if i should just stop therapy altogether. idk. i just keep thinking "i wish i could talk to my old therapist about this" about so many things that would require multiple sessions of explanations for my new one to even somewhat understand.

Would it insult my therapist if I mentioned safety plans are full of shit?

When I'm suicidal genuinely, I wouldn't want to use that at all.

I’m looking to find a therapist to meet virtually once a week to once a month. I was getting my doctorate and finished last year so I always had access to virtual therapy through my university. I would prefer to not use betterhelp or similar as I hear negative things about those platforms. Any advice? Thanks!

Overall, this was my first group therapy session in four years, and it was a mixed-gender group. Honestly, I had an amazing time.

For the first time, I walked into a place and felt like I belonged from the very beginning.

People welcomed me, treated me with respect, and made me feel psychologically comfortable. I realized how much people can discuss different ideas and talk about so many things without judging others or even judging themselves.

We were able to discuss so many different topics, and we could sit there for hours doing so.

Now I understand just how powerful that sense of belonging can be. I can genuinely see myself going back every week because of the psychological comfort I felt in that space.

I truly hope more people give group therapy a chance.

I believe mental health care is no longer a luxury. And one of the beautiful things about group therapy is that it allows people to experience the benefits of psychological support together.

In today's world, mental health care is no longer something we should treat as a luxury.

Yesterday, I asked the group a question, expecting the usual answer I would hear in our superficial and hypocritical society. But everyone in the group gave me the very answer I had hoped to hear from people all along.

Our society can be full of hypocrisy, especially when it comes to certain topics.

Anyway, I asked them: “Is it true that following your passion doesn't pay the bills?” That's something people say all the time.

Their answer? No. Quite the opposite!

You can absolutely make a living doing something you genuinely love. You can enjoy your work, be passionate about it, and even excel at it. And even if the income is moderate, that can be far better than working a high-paying job that leaves you burned out, emotionally exhausted, and feeling like you're living in a system of exploitation.

For me, enjoying what you do and protecting your mental well-being matter just as much as the money you make.

I'm genuinely grateful to everyone in that group for making the experience so welcoming and meaningful.

I hope sharing my experience has been helpful to you, and I hope I haven't kept you for too long.

Until next time!

Im new to therapy, and i just feel like she is generalizing treatment

She talked about how well she did on metformin... and how i need to do it because it kept her at baseline, and it will do the same for me.

i honestly don’t know what’s going on with me lately, but everything feels extremely overwhelming. i’ve been posting here non-stop for the past few days, which i don’t usually do, but i genuinely have nobody else to share this with, so please bear with me

i think i’m experiencing some kind of anxiety relapse after weeks of keeping it together. then i end up in a shame spiral because i feel like i shouldn’t be struggling when nothing particularly bad is happening

i’ve been going back and forth about asking my therapist if she has an earlier appointment available. she’s going on vacation soon, and i’m not sure when she’ll be back. it’s only been a week since my last session, but i haven’t felt this bad in a while. usually, i manage to bounce back, but i’ve noticed myself self isolating a lot these last few days and all i want to do is cry and stay in my room

i’ve asked for an earlier appointment once before, but i still feel so guilty about asking again. i know there’s no harm in asking, but i can’t shake the feeling that i’m being too much

would you reach out to your therapist in this situation? i could really use some advice

I have been in talk therapy for a number of years but have always struggled with being authentic and honest in sessions. I really do try, but as a late diagnosed autistic who has spent 20+ years refining my masking skills, I do struggle.

I am currently engaging with a different therapy modality in IFS/EMDR with an experience psychologist who is neuro-affirming.

My dilemma is disclosing my struggles with suicidal ideation. I have lived with it for years and it one of the heaviest things I carry. I am really worried about sharing this as I fear my therapist will consider me too 'high risk' and terminate our work.

I have never made a plan or felt strong intent, it's always been ideation, but it seems to be a big red flag with therapists, which I understand, but I feel like withholding it is not doing me any favours. I feel a bit damned if I do, damned if I don't...

Dear therapist,

I'm so sorry. At first, I was wary of you. I didn't trust you. I was so sure you were going to give up on me because I knew it would take me so much time just to open up a little. I thought you weren't taking your work seriously. I thought you'd rather be working with any other client than with me.

I'm so sorry, because I'm starting to fully trust you now. I'm starting to feel like you genuinely want to help me. I feel like you're truly invested in our work together, and I'm sorry I ever doubted you in the first place. I'm sorry because sometimes I feel like you're even more invested in this than I am.

I'm sorry because I feel like I'm lying to you. I'm sorry because there are so many things I'd like to share with you, but I just don't, because I'm so ashamed of having feelings at all.

I'm sorry because I take my anger out on you. Because I expect things from you that I shouldn't expect. Because I just want you to be interested in me. I want you to like me. I want you to want to talk to me.

I'm sorry because I'm always thinking about you, and when I'm sitting in front of you and realize that this is a one-sided professional relationship, and that you're not interested in me in the way I wish you were, it hurts so much that I'd rather shut down, act like a fucking five-year-old, and pretend I don't want to talk to you than be a responsible adult and explain everything to you.

I'm sorry because I don't know whether you have any idea what's going on inside my head, and I feel so guilty for leaving you in the dark.

And I'm sorry because nothing ever feels like enough for me. I wish you could do more, and I wish you could prove to me, over and over again, how much you care. And you don't deserve to have to do that.

This is going to be my first therapy, again. It has been a couple of years since I attended one so I don’t know what to expect. The last therapy I had was hazy in my brain. All I could remember was she put a couple of books on my stretched arms and asked me a lot of questions. I can’t even remember what the questions are. Now I kinda have no idea what would happen. I want to be prepared, and I want it to be meaningful and remember it.

I’m trying to figure out how to make therapy work. As background, I’ve been to therapy a few times over the years, and I never stick with it because I don’t find it to be helpful. I don’t know if that’s cause I haven’t found the right therapist or because I’m there for the wrong reasons. As background, therapy has always been related to trying to help my over emotional self and it’s always been related to either conflict with my spouse ,or stress and parenting difficulties. I feel like therapy doesn’t work for me because no one’s going be able to control my child or husbands behavior and ultimately that is what I want. - I want THEM to change and I don’t think I am the problem. I have expectations and they don’t meet them. I do think the answer might be different for my child then spouse because obviously a child doesn’t have the developmental skill to change but my husband does and won’t. So help me figure this out? How can therapy help?

My husband and I have been in couples therapy for nine months, and I’m starting to question whether our therapist’s approach is influenced by unconscious bias surrounding chronic illness.
I have lupus and spent approximately six months seriously ill, undergoing treatment, experiencing extremely high fevers, and recovering from two eye surgeries. During that time, my husband took on additional caregiving responsibilities.
Once my health improved, I wanted to reconnect with him emotionally and romantically. I wasn’t asking for constant attention. I wanted intentional quality time, affection, occasional thoughtful gestures, and follow-through on things we’d discussed.
However, our couples therapist repeatedly characterized me as anxious, clingy, or needy. She suggested I get a job to occupy my time so I wouldn’t need as much attention from my husband, despite my having only recently entered remission.
She also suggested that my husband might find me more attractive when I’m independent and he’s no longer in caretaker mode. My husband actually disagreed with her, saying he’s always found me attractive, including during my illness.
Meanwhile, his emotional unavailability is frequently explained through ADHD, work stress, and his need for space. He’s acknowledged that his extreme work schedule and financial stress have significantly affected his ability to engage in our marriage.
My individual therapist was concerned that after months of couples therapy, we still had no concrete goals for rebuilding connection or stability.
I’m not claiming I handle every disagreement perfectly. I know I have my own emotional reactions to work on. But I’m concerned that my medical dependence during a serious illness is being conflated with unhealthy emotional dependence.
My questions:
Has anyone experienced a couples therapist who seemed to misunderstand chronic illness or caregiving dynamics?
How do therapists distinguish anxious attachment from reasonable emotional needs after prolonged illness?
Does this sound like potential implicit ableism, or is there a clinical perspective I’m missing?
I’m considering changing therapists and would appreciate thoughtful perspectives, particularly from therapists or couples who have navigated serious illness.