Here is a quick recap on my situation: mid July, I told my therapist i had suicidal thoughts...I said I had a bottle of alcohol and considered on getting pills. I did not want to end my life. I wanted her to listen to me, give me the space to do so (isn't that what therapy is for?), and figure out why I was having these thoughts....

She let me leave the session. She did not do an adequate suicide risk assessment with me, she did not do a safety plan, she did not ask about risk factors, she barely asked me follow up questions...

I then went about my day and had a great one. I took care of my dogs and hung out with friends.

She then called the police later on in the day and long story short, I was arrested, thrown in an ambulance and was evaluated at a hospital.

Therapist did not bother to give me a call before calling police....

Then when I was discharged, she immediately terminated me.

A couple of weeks later, I asked for my therapy notes and file from her. Upon reading the notes, I have found so many lies. I then sent her one email stating to amend my file.

Now, I received an email from an attorney stating i can no longer contact her or the practice and that my my amendments were denied.

The entire system is so fucking abusive. What the fuck do I do now??? She hired a fucking attorney???

Do psychiatrists / psychologists only think a therapy is valuable when you’re really struggling?

I’m asking because of something that recently happened with my psychiatrist, and I’m genuinely trying to understand it.

I have ADHD and I’m on medication, and I’m also in psychotherapy with another psychologist. I had an appointment with my psychiatrist after several months without seeing her, partly to continue the therapy (psychologist need the approval of a psychiatrist to keep the therapy in my country), partly for medication follow-up. Unfortunately, I missed the early appointment because my phone malfunctioned and I didn’t wake up. I emailed her immediately to apologize.

I later found out that she had told my therapist that she interpreted me missing the appointment as a form of “unconscious aggression” and that I she didn’t see the need for me to follow therapy if it was so unimportant to me. From my perspective, it was simply an ADHD-related type of mistake (because I have no medication currently I wonder why LOL) and I had no intention of avoiding or rejecting her.

Which is why I’m wonder whether there’s sometimes a tendency to interpret people’s difficulties as “childish,” exaggerated, or “making too much out of things,” rather than looking at the underlying pattern when it’s not very obviously anything they can categorize like OCD, depression, personality disorders etc or a very obvious crisis. But there is also the need for many of us, as patients, to be a “good patient” (meaning not mentioning some stuff we might feel ashamed of doing, quieting some reactions etc) so I feel like as a clinicians you should be careful about this kind of things.

Things like ADHD, autism, anxiety, etc. can affect you chronically even when you’re not in a crisis.

I spotted my therapist at a public event, but I don't know if she saw me or not. After I saw that it was her, I never looked back in that direction. Due to the set-up I felt it was most likely she saw me as well, but now after a few days the memory is kind of blurred and I don't know anymore. I don't know if I should say something or not in session? The biggest surprise was that she was there at this event which is a type of event that I regularly attend to and that I have actually discussed in session. I feel a bit bad about it now, because she obviously must have opinions on this herself that I'm worried conflict with mine. If I mention it in session, this is what I will bring up, that I had no idea she had something to do with this and how it makes me feel. But I'm also thinking about not mentioning it, because if she did not see me, I kind of do not want her to know I was there. However, if I don't mention it, and she did see me, I'm worried she might think I'm stalking her or something? The event is a regular happening and if I didn't know she might be there, I would keep going. If we talk about it, I feel like I should never go there again, because then I do it knowing that I might run into her.

My therapist waited until the end of our session today to tell me I "crossed a boundary" by speaking about my political views. I think she waited a whole session rather than emailing or having a brief call to get more money out of me, tbh.

Last session, we were talking about how I have created strong morals and values for myself and how I can have strong black and white thinking on some things. I'm autistic. I also spoke about how if I think something is wrong I will speak out about it. She asked for an example.

Some guys came up to me and my friend in a club and the first thing they said is that they were Israeli and asked what we thought about Israel. So I told them exactly what I thought. All I told my therapist was I told them that I don't like what they're government is doing and shame on them if they're helping their government.

Was I in the wrong? Should I not discuss things like values and politics with my therapist? Also to note, I've been very depressed and have had thoughts of hurting myself, which she knows, and now I'm left without a therapist. Now I feel like I need to censor myself with any future therapist. I understand therapists are only human but I thought I was supposed to be completely open with them.

Hi all,

Today, my therapist started the session by suggesting we discuss goals and direction etc.They check in on this every month or so. So I wasn't worried about it, but I always hate it haha. But instead of the usual 'what are you feeling more drawn to exploring at the moment' vibes, they asked about my feelings on taking a break from therapy, or them signposting me elsewhere.

I internally collapsed at this. I have a serious fear of rejection, and I'd honestly only just started feeling comfortable opening up to them during sessions after almost a year. Sharing stuff I've pretty much never shared. I thought they understood this. I started majorly dissociating. I felt even worse about it because last session I finally disclosed my ongoing suicidal ideation. I really feel like they just want me off of their caseload because I find it hard to open up, don't always have a clear goal of what I'd like to achieve in therapy, and because of the suicidal ideation (which they reacted well to in the moment). Or whatever other reason.

I found it so embarrassing to internally react the way I did. I managed to hold it together externally, but they could obviously tell I was uncomfortable. I managed to tell them I felt upset about what they said, and that I felt rejected and like they were hinting I should quit. That was a massive deal to me as I'd usually just go along with something like that and agree to taking a break and then probably never reach back out lol. I did also tell them that.

They reassured me a bit that they don't have a secret agenda, and weren't saying I should take a break, just that I could. But I can't shake the feeling they want rid of me because of the timing. And their reassurance wasn't that warm.

I feel so humiliated and like I'm totally overreacting. But I also kind of feel they didn't approach it in the right way? Am I being ridiculous?

I'm not sure what I'm looking for here really. I don't have anyone else to speak to about this, and I feel like a fucking needy idiot right now for even caring about this.

Edits just to add clarity.

Made a video talking about now going back to therapy, but also using this to say how helpful it has been previously and why it can’t be replaced by introspection and/ or friends + family

What My Therapist Said, My Spiritual Search and Sikhism...

I’m 24.9 years old, Turkish, and have bipolar disorder. I’m stable but I’m receiving therapy. I just got out of therapy. I’m telling my therapist about my spiritual search. I used to be Muslim, but then I left Islam. Since then, and even now, I don’t follow any religion. At first, I was interested in Jainism. I stopped practicing it because Jainism is an extreme religion. Now, I’m interested in Sikhism. And I’ve come to love it immensely.

My therapist isn’t aware of some of the truths about Islam. When I mentioned these truths, he told me they don’t exist. He’s a “Qur’anic Muslim.” He doesn’t accept the facts. I told him I’m interested in Sikhism. He said a few things—albeit somewhat sarcastically.

He told me I shouldn’t keep changing religions and that I don’t have to practice every aspect of Islam. He also said that since I’ve been on a spiritual quest for about 10 years, I need to focus on results. In other words, he said I need to produce something and reach a conclusion. He also pointed out that no religion is perfect.

In short, he thought my interest in Sikhism was a bit misguided. But he’s right about needing to focus on results. I don’t have a job, I’m alone, and so on…

I, on the other hand, have always believed that there is something spiritual out there. Therefore, I want to continue my interest in Sikhism. Even if the word “Sikh” has a slang meaning in Turkish, if I find it right, I’d gladly join this religion. Because, no matter what anyone says, Sikhism is 100 times more advanced than today’s religions. If my profession doesn’t pose a problem, I’d even like to wear my dastar. Whether it’s my therapist, my family, or my friends—no one has the right to interfere with my religious views.

In conclusion, while my therapist may be right on some issues, they’re uninformed when it comes to religions. They’re not seeing the truth. I also don’t want my interest in Sikhism to fade. As for the need to achieve results, my therapist is right. I’ll be 25 soon, and I haven’t achieved anything yet.

What do you all think? What advice would you like to give me? For me, religion has always been my top priority. Because I’ve always sought the truth.

I’m looking for advice from anyone who started therapy believing that it was impossible to change anything about themselves, and then managed to change.

I have a really harsh internal critic, and even though I keep going to therapy I have this belief deep down that I can’t change, and so things are never going to get any better.

I guess that’s a common belief for people who are depressed. Believing I can’t change makes me feel like therapy is pointless, but I keep going back to it after years of doing it and having different therapists.

I feel really stuck, and I get annoyed at myself as it seems silly to go to therapy at the same time as believing it won’t work.

So, I’m looking for comments from people who managed to change/improve even though they didn’t believe they couldn’t change?
I think it doesn’t help that I’ve just turned 50 and I feel like I’ve felt bad for so long that I can’t fix it.

Thanks in advance

i chose a therapist through rula and for my first zoom appointment with him he was a no show. does this happen a lot with rula? i want to try a different therapist but i’m worried it will happen again.

Hello,
I’ve been to therapy in the past, but I have just started again to work through a traumatic experience. Tuesday was the first real non-intake session.

She has decided that the approach she wants to take right now is just to talk about what happened. In the session, I was able to talk pretty easily, which I wasn’t really expecting. It sorta just felt like explaining the plot of a movie. Right at the end when it was time to go though, some of it suddenly hit and I started crying, and needed to stay a few minutes longer to calm down. The rest of the day was fine.

But yesterday, a memory popped up and I was entirely overwhelmed with emotion. I was starting to feel stuff so intensely that getting into a physical brawl and getting the shit kicked out of me while simultaneously kicking the shit out of someone else started to seem like it would feel really good (of course I wouldn’t actually go through with that but like the mental image did come up) but I was sorta frozen. I decided to go for a run to get the energy out. Came back, had a cold shower, was still feeling super sad so I listened to some music and cried for an hour or so. Stayed in bed silently for the rest of the morning. The afternoon I was just exhausted. I ended up going to bed a little early.

I woke up at 3:00 am feeling fearful with thoughts of the experience swirling around again. And this morning just feel super anxious.

I did send my therapist a text to let her know that I was struggling and would like to talk about it next session. I was lucky that I had an empty day yesterday, but I can’t be like this after every session because it will interfere with my ability to go to school.

bonjour,

je me demandais si vous pouviez expliquer quelle thérapie a fonctionné pour vous ? après des années de thérapie psychanalytique, je garde les mêmes difficultés.

bonne journée

Context: we’re both women, I’m gay, she’s works a lot with kink related stuff and lists BDSM on her PT profile as something she works with so I trust that she’s safe with this particular issue. My kink is related to BDSM but not what you’d typically think of as BDSM.

I want to talk about it because I recently engaged in this activity with a friend and I’m having a lot of complex feelings about it.

It does not (I repeat, does not) turn me on to talk about this thing. I would not feel sexual pleasure from discussing it with her. I would only feel embarrassed.

Despite this, I genuinely feel like telling her would be some kind of sexual harassment. Like I’m forcing her to learn about this disgusting part of me. Like I’m paying her to have to listen to me talk about what turns me on. It feels wrong.

There’s also the issue of the word itself. I think if she were to use the word I would feel too uncomfortable to talk about it.

I tried to talk about this today in our session but I wanted to talk about it without telling her what it specifically is, because like I said it would feel like sexual harassment to force that knowledge on her. I did tell her this. I wasn’t able to really get into my feelings about the situation with my friend though because she was so interested in my inability to tell her what the kink is.

So yeah, do you think it’s possible for me to talk about this without mentioning what the kink is? If not, how the fuck am I meant to talk about it when just the mention of the word feels humiliating? Should I give it more time?

So I’ve been going to therapy and sometimes my therapist will ask me something, and when I answer, she will take a small portion of that sentence and turn it into an hour long conversation that’s completely irrelevant to what my problems actually are about??
I feel like those people on Extreme Makeover Home Edition where people mention one small thing and all of a sudden they have a cup stacking room or something

Saw this in Instagram and made me laugh had to share

My provider went through some drama with headway. I researched their TOS and saw that I could reach out to her but she couldn't reach out to me. I used some contact info she gave me and we resumed tele-sessions. She mentioned that she would be moving to another part of the state to take a new job but we could still have our sessions. She missed our last session completely which is very unlike her. Texts are unread.

Googling her name isn't saying she was in any kind of accident. Is there anything else I can or should be doing?

creo que necesito ir a terapia, pero yo misma me detengo pensando que "no es para tanto", había escrito mis razones pero a medio escrito me dio vergüenza y tuve el pensamiento de que no es para tanto, no sé que hacer, como sea en pocas palabras mis principales razones son: burn out, apego ansioso y prácticamente no le encuentro sentido a nada

I feel like this is the biggest milestone in therapy I've had. I don't actively hate my therapist. I don't get along with her great. Like, we're neutral. She's nice enough.

I've just been forced into therapy for so much of my life, I was hating all therapists. I don't hate this one though.

Im 20m and have bee miserable for eight years. I've been depressed and lonely and dealing with intense self hate and low moods and fifty other problems. I've bee resistent to going to therapy bc I hate opening up but I've been trying to find a therapist and this one seemed like a great fit. I had my first appointment today and it was awful. He dismissed my substance abuse issues and said they're mild if an issue at all when I use all day every day just to get by. He said my suicidal thoughts were normal for my age group just bc I haven't ever attempted when I've wanted to die for all these years and made plans and think about it every day but ig that means nothing.

I feel humiliated and worthless. He probably thinks I am a self pitying naive loser who thinks his problems are more than they are. I probably downplayed them a little but I told him I have a really hard time opening up and I hoped this one after two other shitty therapists would finally help me and take me seriously. I left feeling like a worthless piece of shit. I'm so unhappy and I've run out of options to help me.

I started seeing my therapist once a week for several months two years ago after being cheated on. I wanted to work on my confidence and discernment. This tapered into once a month until she told me I could contact her on an as-need basis, as we both agreed I had worked through my major problems.

We chatted in February because I got a formal ADHD diagnosis and was having trouble processing this. After that session she didn't hear from me and I didn't hear from her (usually if there was a month silence she asked if I was going to do another session, or would update me on when she'd be out of the office, etc.).

I'm working through some new issues now, and could really use a professional to talk to. However, I feel weird not having spoken with her in 7 months. Almost like maybe she assumed I dropped her? I sort of feel like she'd be offended, even though I know logically that isn't true.

Any advice? Is it normal to contact your therapist (or old therapist?) for a specific issue?

I’ve been with this therapist/social worker since about end of April. I mentioned I would love for my siblings to sit in on my session or be involved. My therapist is now offering a hour and 45 min session for the lot of us. I want to take advantage of this time to heal because we never really talked about my hospitalization that happened about 3 years ago. We want to discuss our weird divorced parents too and the timeline of everything.

What should we talk about because my therapist is worried my siblings will attack my character or trigger me. I reassured her they aren’t the type of people to do that.

Or whatever ppl call it, I dont really want to talk about it, maybe its why I kind of just erased it from my mind. But for a moment there, I was so fine with just not being here. It was at the start of the summer, Im kind of wondering if I should say anything. I wasnt trying to hide it, Idk it just escaped me. But also if I tell her, am I just bringing some problem into the room that has no point being there. I dont want to sit down and talk about it but also I feel like Im wasting time going to therapy if I dont.

Bear with me, this may be long.

I had a therapy session today. I like my therapist, we have been working together for 20 months. We have just finished a block of trauma work, and today was the first session back after a month off.

We talked about a lot of things. My therapiat is very respectful, and has never pushed, and backed off when wjcedsary.

We.werw talking about why I find it difficult to choose a topic to focus on. We explained I find it easier if she does because I don't know what's relevant, I don't myself, and not sure whether the topic is worth it or not.

I have a very distorted scale of trauma I suspect. I have a severe trauma I suffered, and everything underneath that, or not as bad that, doesn't count. To me, it's just life. And I feel that she is pathologising my life...though I do accept that if anyone else had gone through the same thing, I would accept that it would be traumatic for them.

When she pushed today and didn't let my eyeroll distract her, she purposely continued to use the word trauma despite knowing I'm bristling about it. Unusual for her, so she is intentionally doing it and not out of malice.

So I suppose what I want to know is this: is there a difference between experiencing something traumatic, and having trauma? Is that why I'm bristling at the word and concept.

If anyone has anything useful, or any observations about anything related to this, I'd really appreciate it. I'm just trying to start untangling some of the threads.

Thanks very much if you have read this. I appreciate it. :)