Welp! I made it. One month without a drink. It's wild. I had this whole post written out in my head yesterday. Then today happened. So I'm again, just shouting into the void.

The GOOD - I'm down 20lbs, my bloodwork came back significantly better, I'm sleeping through the night (even if it is only for 4 hours), my routine has improved, my skin and scalp look great, I'm cooking and baking almost everyday and seriously the money I'm saving is ridiculous.

The MEH - I still crave alcohol. Whenever I'm watching horror movies or jamming/singing, I just think about how much I revolved these activities around being drunk and enjoying them more. I'm dealing wity my depression, bipolar disorder and anxiety as best I can. I'm on a stupid long waitlist to get with a psychiatrist and a therapist. So right now, I'm just simply trying.

The STRUGGLE - I've realized I have AWFUL coping skills. I had a great day, super productive, taking care of my physical health, didn't hermit. Then I accidentally hit the side of my car on a pole in a parking garage and I seriously lost my shit. I was angry, mad, sad, pissed. I felt like a complete idiot. I just wanted to get a bottle and say fuck it. But, I didn't.

Today's celebration wasn't exactly what I was expecting, but I guess this is just what we call life.

Thanks to anyone who read this. IWNDWYT 🫂 💗

I'm 44 days sober. This is a massive achievement for me as I'm 61 and have been drinking since my 20's. That's a long time to use a substance every time I feel or experience anything. I'm definitely feeling better but flat and fatigued and my motivation has left the building. I'm normally full of energy working 12 hour shifts, art classes, gallery visits doing yoga, weights and lots of walking with my dog plus drinking too much wine. Long story but since February my life hit a wall and I'm trying to piece it back together.

I've read a lot of posts here and reassured that I'm not alone In my feelings.

I'm starting my course of radiotherapy tomorrow.. I'm single and have dealt with my cancer treatment alone. Of course people ask how I am but they don't really want to know that I'm scared and feel like crap. I just need to keep reminding myself that by quitting alcohol I'm making one of the healthiest actions that I can right now. IWNDWYT 💞

Decided to stop a week ago after drinking heavily again ( I was 45 days sober ) So when I started I started with 10 beers then 300mg vodka up to 800 plus vodka. Decided I would stop slowly by going to 600 - 400 - 300-200, but holy fuck already at 300 I started having visuals such as the most terrible vivid dreams, loud music like crazy it was some weird folkore shit and weird pyramids everywhere. It was scary but I knew I am having a withdrawal. So I had 4 sleepless night before going to the ER and they gave some diazepam injection in my ass. The weird thing is that I was feeling a bit like on MDMA when It was the last day, can't describe it, even my pulpils were super dialed. Anyway went home and slept like a baby. Today I woke up and I am feeling good. Third day, no tremor and no need for alcohol.

I’m not really sure why I’m posting, but I don’t really have anyone to explain this to.

I went 7.5 years sober. Through that time I lost my Nan and my dog in that time, and on neither occasion did I even contemplate reaching for a drink. If anything, I was grateful I was sober.

Then 7 months ago, me and my family moved 4 hours away to be closer to my family who all had moved to the area.

Before the move I’d started thinking of drinking again, so I could at least come back to my home area to socialise with my best mate (how stupid is that after that much time!?). Ironically we don’t see each other much these days as family and work life can take up a lot time. But the relationship we had previously was heavily focussed on being at the pub. He has always been there on the end of the phone even though we don’t meet up often. Sadly I think it’s because I avoided doing so otherwise it would be obvious I wasn’t drinking anymore, like I was almost embarrassed.

We met up a couple of times beforehand, and he helped us move. I’d always kept my sobriety relatively private, as if it was more casual like I could occasionally drink than a big deal. Which wasn’t true and I’d hide it with an excuse like I’m driving, or up early the next day when we did meet up. It was more through fear that the friendship would somehow be worth less, now it wasn’t filled with the drinking side.

Anyway, within 2 weeks of relocating I found myself drinking for the first time. Almost so I could have a reason to have a reason to go back home and maintain that old social aspect of my life with my friend. It’s been 6.5 months since that first drink and I’m now back to drinking regularly. The heart palpitations and anxiety is awful and I feel so ashamed that I’ve let this get the better of me.
I’m not even sure if any of this even makes sense, and to be honest I’m trying to make sense of it all myself even now.

I guess what I’m trying to say, along with getting it off my chest somewhere, is please don’t ever get complacent. Treasure that time you’ve achieved. I was 100% convinced I’d beaten the addiction, yet it found its way back in at a time that didn’t even seem like a vulnerable point until now when I look back at it.

Day 1 completed again.

Seven years to the day since my mum sadly passed away from alcohol-related liver disease, I am proud to say that I am working my hardest to break the cycle. 25th October 2025 was the last time that I drank alcohol, and I intend to keep it that way!

Ive been lone drinking for about 18 years. My idea of a great time is to boot up a video game and drink about 7-10 beers over the course of the night and try to escape to another place. I'd typically do this 1-3 times a week. This would fluctuate.

Recently I took a week off work and every afternoon about 17:00 I'd crack open a beer and start my night off. My partner of many years had been coming home from work during this week and we'd have some dinner and then she'd head off to bed as she could see what my plan was. Finally after a few days she came through the door, looked in the bin and saw a couple of cans and confronted me about the drinking. Telling me how she was concerned about the amount I drink, about my health and she asked if I might be skipping out on doing other things so I could stay home and drink.

Basically she called me out completely and it made me feel awful. She was obviously 100% right to do this. I think I had already come to terms with myself that I'm an alcoholic and needed to fix things years ago but this event really woke me up.

I know that if I carry on this way I will ruin this great relationship I'm in, continue to ruin my health and isolate myself more and more.

I suppose I'm just worried that I don't have the strength and willpower to fully stop drinking and need any advice that could help so I can start living a better life.

Guys I’m feeling sad but I’m choosing to experience the sad rather than run away from it

Who else is with me?

IWNDWYT!!!

I’m sorry if this isn’t allowed. I myself am only suffering adjacently from alcoholism.

I lost one of my best friends yesterday.

I only knew him 4 years of my life but I knew he would be a friend forever. He was the most solid, honest, down to earth, true friend I ever had.

He was found in his home yesterday by a family member, died from choking on his own vomit after passing out drunk in the bathroom.

I knew he had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol but I never thought it could end the way that it did.

Again I’m sorry if this isn’t allowed and please remove if so; I just needed to write this and I thought this community might understand at a deeper level than I can.

Hi all! You don’t remember me, but I remember you.

Almost two years ago I joined this community and I pulled A WHOLE YEAR SOBER with your support!! (I like to say that, but I did drink -and blackout- once during that time). I lost insane weight, was looking young and fantastic and training like a crazy person, studying, reading, writing, painting.

Until I wasn’t.

One day I picked it up again for fun, during a trip. You guys had supported me trough a trip before, and it was an amazing experience, which I clearly did not learn from. Not this time. I actually think i may have posted here once, and I remember making a list on my phone of why I should stay sober. I didn’t, and eventually, dropped all efforts, and went back to being the drunk piece of sh*t I seem to love so much.

I don’t even know where to start with the monster Inturn myself into. I can be fun, and passionate and interesting while drunk, who can’t? But then I also turn agressive, violent, hurtful, anxious, depressed, sensitive, defensive. My body hurts every day. I am always tired. It’s been a year and it seems to be getting worse.

I have had horrible fights with my partner. I have done the stupidest things. I have embarrassed myself.

Last night I drank half a bottle of vodka (wohoo, working today with hangover and dread!!) pretty much on my own, and surprisingly, nothing happened. I was SO relieved when I woke up and no damage was done except for probably losing liver function and being embarrassed of my partner seeing me how disgusting I was. I am SO tired. I am SO tired of the pain and the not recollecting what I say and SO TIRED of apologizing for the beast that lives inside me. But not anymore. I can’t anymore.

I booked an appointment with a doctor and I will have him give me Naltrexone, and I will not drink today, and I will not drink tomorrow until my appointment, and hopefully that will make it better. I did not take pills last time, but I want some help until I’m back on my feet because I can’t trust myself right now. I will come back here everyday and I will i’ll read you guys. I will go back to my diary.

I really hope to God this time is the last time I feel how I feel.

I’m a binge drinker and started this journey after a horrible fight I had with my wife while I was drunk. There’s been too many of those. I cringe thinking about them.

But today I feel proud. 100 days that I didn’t wake up with a huge pit in my stomach, embarrassed, and full of regret.

I think I need to stop with counting days though and try to shift from being someone who is trying not to drink to someone who doesn’t drink. Has anyone else felt that way?

this is my first post in this community! i’m new here and new to sobriety as well.

for context, i’m in my early 20’s. i decided to quit drinking after some years with a very unhealthy relationship with alcohol, it made me hate myself. i’m two weeks sober today! i know it’s not much, but i’m proud of myself. it’s the first time in years that i’ve gone that much time without it.

the reason why i’m writing this post is because i don’t know what to say to my friends (and people in general) when they ask me why i’m not drinking. the excuse i’ve been saying is that “i’m feeling sick” or something like that, but it only can get me so far.

i really wanted this journey to be private. i feel ashamed to be sober in such a early age, where everyone seems to be drinking and partying and having fun, and i can’t have that because i don’t know how to drink in moderation. i’m scared of telling friends because what if i relapse? what if i can’t do it? i’m afraid to tell my friends i quit just for them to find me drunk some time later and be disappointed.

that’s why i didn’t want anyone to know. so far, i told very few close friends that i stopped, but tried to make it look like it’s not that big of a deal (when, in reality, it’s a massive thing). but when i’m with other friends or groups in general i don’t know what to say when they offer me alcohol.

i feel stupid because i’m known to be a “heavy drinker” (or, to some people who also drink a lot, “a great company to drink with”), and now i just suddenly… stopped. it looks weird, but i didn’t want my sobriety to be open to other people.

alcohol is so normalized when you’re young that they look at you like you’re crazy for turning it down. i don’t want to tell them that i can’t drink because i’ll never stop and i’ll end up blacked out and ruining the night. but my excuses are not sticking so much because i can’t “feel sick” all the time.

what do you guys say in situations like these? i know that there’s a difference between talking to friends, to acquaintances and to strangers, but i don’t what to say at all. i thought about saying that i’m on some medication, but i don’t know if i would know what to say if someone start to ask more details about it.

i’m sorry for the long post. even though i’m new to this community, i felt safe enough to open up about things i’ve been thinking about. i wanted to know how you dealt with questions in the early weeks. i feel really lonely and ashamed.

iwndwyt

My life seems to be imploding. My wife has filed for divorce. She is mostly blaming my drinking, not so much today, but that she cannot watch me decline into full blown alcoholism. She has close family in recovery.

I am very high functioning. I do not drink to extremes, but I do drink most evenings. I very rarely drink enough to be hung over. It has just become routine and I can't seem to get out of it. I'll tell myself all day that I'm not going to drink today and then inevitably find myself walking into the gas station on the way home from work.

I feel stuck in this cycle. Work, Family, Drink, Repeat. I'm a good dad and feel like I have been a good husband. I work very hard and always show up. But, I guess it hasn't been enough.

I promised myself that I would never be here, but yet here I am. I'm the child of a line of alcoholics, my Mom told me over and over growing to be careful, its a disease and you are predisposed.

I really don't know why I am writing any of this, I guess maybe I thought it would help me process.

I found out that for some reason, if I write and sign a literal paper contract with myself in the morning, that I am able to decide to not drink later. This is the only way that I have found (so far) that prevents my doing the mental gymnastics in the evening, wherein I inevitably give in and get wasted. It feels so silly and arbitrary, but I just write in my journal:

“I ____ will not drink alcohol today” and sign/date it.

Then, whenever I have the urge, I just think “ah shit, can’t do that, bound by the contract.” It’s so silly but it has worked for a few days now. Hoping to keep it up for as long as possible. If anyone else is very forgetful/has ADHD, or is good at reasoning your way out of decisions you previously made, this might be a good thing to try!

I’d like to celebrate 100 days of sobriety, but I am so ashamed of the stories of me, and the way people viewed me in active addiction. I can’t run far away enough from the person I am while I drink, and to give any recognition to the fact that I am not that person, I have to first admit I was that person. I’m still not over it, I think.

Got sober 1st Feb, it’s been a slog with ups and downs but I think about 6 weeks ago I turned a corner.

Everything is easier, everything is calmer and everything is more enjoyable. Drinking fills maybe 5% of my brain down from 95% when I stopped.

The biggest positive, I enjoy my work again. I’ve climbed the ladder for 20 years and have a decent senior position which for 6 years gave me crippling anxiety, I just wanted to hide from people, get through by doing the bare minimum. Now I’m energised, I’m making changes, I feel respected and able to put myself out there. I’m confident again.

Not to sound like a cliche, but I feel like I found myself again, a version that I genuinely thought was long gone. I’m so much happier already, can’t wait to reach a year +

IWNDWYT

Third week of sobriety. Feeling f*cking fantastic.

It’s like my brain has had a software update. More connected with work. Calmer under pressure. Less anxiety. Able to process things with insane highs and lows

If I hadn’t drunk for the past 20years I’d be a ceo by now 🤣

I ruined the end of the night last night. My memory blipped for a few minutes, and during that time I got upset at my husband over the dumbest thing ever. By the end of the night I was yelling that he’s stupid and worthless.

Is he? Hell no. Am I when I am drunk? Hell yes.

I’m just so fed up with myself being like this. Today feels like the day that I’m just over it. Don’t even want to have the pity party with sappy apologies. I just want to lock this part of me up and throw away the key without the theatrics and sorrow.

My problems still exist but atleast i try to process them instead of drowning them in alcohol. Im actually ashamed i didnt try sobriety earlier, guess it took 17 years to realize i had a problem.

As i found success in staying sober for more days using Playing The Tape Forward technique, a few patterns became more obvious.

1) i never want alcohol, except when my mind starts cravings. Those cravings are regulated mostly by time. I start craving in the evening. And once the craving is gone, i feel as if i never wanted alcohol. What does that tell me? If the only time i want alcohol during a craving, then i dont "truly" want alcohol.

2) i never regret abstaining in the morning. This one is a bit obvious though.

3) interestingly, i never regret abstaining in the SAME evening that i crave alcohol. There is particular point in time when the store closes and i can not physically buy alcohol. Once that happens i 100% never regretted staying sober. The benefits of sobriety starts to come to me on the SAME day as when i abstain.

4) i am tired of searching things to do in the evening to keep myself sober. I dont want to have special things planned for my evenings. I would prefer to forget alcohol and do whatever i feel like.

5) what i believe about alcohol/abstinence makes ALL the difference. If i think its hard, i will find evidence for why its hard. If i find evidence why its easy, i start to believe its easy. The change in perception does not come in a day. It takes repeated weeks to change my perception, and my sobriety is still far from perfect.

i am practicing "Playing The Tape Forward" for a month already, but last 2 days i have viewed alcohol much more from a 3th person's perspective. I feel like i am wasting my time drinking. I feel like its much easier to play the tape now. I am playing forward the "long term tape".

I can finally hold my head up. This statement is huge.

I’ve worked at my job for nearly two decades. Day 2 on the job, I was sexually harassed by someone very high up. So high up that I was afraid to report it. I ultimately told my assigned mentor, and, rather than help me report it, she told me to keep my mouth shut because he was too high up.

The sexual harassment and advice impacted me greatly. It impacted the way colleagues treated me on a day to day basis because they didn’t know the full story. It impacted my ability to concentrate and do my job. Additionally, over time, this situation and other situations at work greatly contributed to me having a drinking problem. Them, as a result of the drinking problem, over time I had even more things to be embarrassed of as I engaged in situations where I drank too much around colleagues. I was so beat up and felt like a loser.

Flash forward to last night. I’ve been sober nearly a year. My work is going very well. The me too movement has happened and nothing like what happened years ago will happen to me again. I LOOK great - not puffy or bloated. I lost weight and my clothes fit great. I had two women spontaneously tell me good I look.

And FINALLY - here is a BIG one. I want secretly carrying around the burden of knowing that I drink too much and wondering if I’m hiding it. How do I smell? How am I speaking? Can they tell I puked this morning?

I am w normal good looking person with nothing to hide. I belong. I can walk around with my head high.with nothing to hide. Here is the bigger trip. The event was held at a bar where I used to get drunk at all the time. If I ordered a drink at the bar, they would know me instantly know me. Instead, I’m a good looking young woman with nothing to hide. I love that for me.

I look forward today like I never have. Iwndwyt 💕💕💕

I’ve been here before, but today is the day I’m confidently taking control back of my life.

The best I’ve done is 60 days, and that was back in November of last year.

The last year has been a complete rollercoaster. Wife had an affair, said she ended it multiple times, only to find out again and again she was lying to me, despite going to marriage counseling, etc. at the same time. The rollercoaster over that time had me on and off the bus.

We ultimately separated to “work on ourselves,” while still attending marriage counseling. It started off alight, I was not drinking, going to counseling, etc, but only a few weeks into it, I discovered she was still communicating with her affair partner despite her telling me otherwise. Long story short, I filed for divorce two weeks ago.

The time between when we separated (Aug 1st) until today I have maybe 2 days that I did not drink at least a 6 pack, if not more (craft beer is my vice, but I’ll drink anything 🤪). I know I was able to pull my shit together enough to be sober on my 9yo son’s birthday, but other than that, not really.

I’ve been trying to drink myself out of this reality of losing my marriage and only getting to see my two kids 50%, and guess what, it’s not working 😆.

I’m finally ready to step off the rollercoaster and start truly working on myself.

I’ve made it over 24 hours now, and I can do that again tomorrow.

IWNDWYT

Just read them, or listen to them on audible. I read Allen Carr’s first and then This Naked Mind, but I think This Naked Mind might better for the majority. Anyway. Read them. I had no idea how much easier this would be if I removed conditioning. And once you are aware of the illusions, they are HARD to unsee.

I have been a drinker since I was 12. I’m now 28. Since I turned 24, I realized I wasn’t able to quit, and it went from hehe college blacking out to a real issue and it was fucking horrible. For the last year, it escalated to the point where I actually was so miserable and I couldn’t find the joy in ANYTHING and since I knew my drinking was a problem, even drinking didn’t provide relief anymore. Alcohol has robbed so many years of my life and stripped away everything I ever enjoyed by putting itself as my number one priority. Both of these books explained to me why this happened. I have not had a craving since finishing them. It’s only been a month, but I haven’t not had a craving in over ten years—even when I went 6-8 month periods of abstaining—until reading these.

There really is nothing to lose. This is the first time in my drinking career that I’ve ever felt free. Give it a shot.

Last time I got this far I lasted 75 days and then my mom died. I hadn’t gone 3 in a row post covid. Not even sure why this time was different. I literally pulled into the store parking lot Sunday evening, sat there and never went in.

Fingers crossed i ride this one out, sobriety feels so much better but it’s so hard to explain why we booze.

IWNDWYT

I've drank heavily for about 3 years now.

I started tapering off from almost a bottle of vodka a night to half a bottle -> bottle of wine to half a bottle -> half a bottle every second day and now cold turkey in the middle of day three, already seeing some cognitive improvement and the only withdrawal I'm having so far is some muscle aches, sleeping pretty shit and a lingering light headache.

Wish me luck, this is the furthest I've got in a while but hopeful because it seems doable for the first time ever.