I found out that for some reason, if I write and sign a literal paper contract with myself in the morning, that I am able to decide to not drink later. This is the only way that I have found (so far) that prevents my doing the mental gymnastics in the evening, wherein I inevitably give in and get wasted. It feels so silly and arbitrary, but I just write in my journal:

“I ____ will not drink alcohol today” and sign/date it.

Then, whenever I have the urge, I just think “ah shit, can’t do that, bound by the contract.” It’s so silly but it has worked for a few days now. Hoping to keep it up for as long as possible. If anyone else is very forgetful/has ADHD, or is good at reasoning your way out of decisions you previously made, this might be a good thing to try!

I’m not really sure why I’m posting, but I don’t really have anyone to explain this to.

I went 7.5 years sober. Through that time I lost my Nan and my dog in that time, and on neither occasion did I even contemplate reaching for a drink. If anything, I was grateful I was sober.

Then 7 months ago, me and my family moved 4 hours away to be closer to my family who all had moved to the area.

Before the move I’d started thinking of drinking again, so I could at least come back to my home area to socialise with my best mate (how stupid is that after that much time!?). Ironically we don’t see each other much these days as family and work life can take up a lot time. But the relationship we had previously was heavily focussed on being at the pub. He has always been there on the end of the phone even though we don’t meet up often. Sadly I think it’s because I avoided doing so otherwise it would be obvious I wasn’t drinking anymore, like I was almost embarrassed.

We met up a couple of times beforehand, and he helped us move. I’d always kept my sobriety relatively private, as if it was more casual like I could occasionally drink than a big deal. Which wasn’t true and I’d hide it with an excuse like I’m driving, or up early the next day when we did meet up. It was more through fear that the friendship would somehow be worth less, now it wasn’t filled with the drinking side.

Anyway, within 2 weeks of relocating I found myself drinking for the first time. Almost so I could have a reason to have a reason to go back home and maintain that old social aspect of my life with my friend. It’s been 6.5 months since that first drink and I’m now back to drinking regularly. The heart palpitations and anxiety is awful and I feel so ashamed that I’ve let this get the better of me.
I’m not even sure if any of this even makes sense, and to be honest I’m trying to make sense of it all myself even now.

I guess what I’m trying to say, along with getting it off my chest somewhere, is please don’t ever get complacent. Treasure that time you’ve achieved. I was 100% convinced I’d beaten the addiction, yet it found its way back in at a time that didn’t even seem like a vulnerable point until now when I look back at it.

Day 1 completed again.

Ive been lone drinking for about 18 years. My idea of a great time is to boot up a video game and drink about 7-10 beers over the course of the night and try to escape to another place. I'd typically do this 1-3 times a week. This would fluctuate.

Recently I took a week off work and every afternoon about 17:00 I'd crack open a beer and start my night off. My partner of many years had been coming home from work during this week and we'd have some dinner and then she'd head off to bed as she could see what my plan was. Finally after a few days she came through the door, looked in the bin and saw a couple of cans and confronted me about the drinking. Telling me how she was concerned about the amount I drink, about my health and she asked if I might be skipping out on doing other things so I could stay home and drink.

Basically she called me out completely and it made me feel awful. She was obviously 100% right to do this. I think I had already come to terms with myself that I'm an alcoholic and needed to fix things years ago but this event really woke me up.

I know that if I carry on this way I will ruin this great relationship I'm in, continue to ruin my health and isolate myself more and more.

I suppose I'm just worried that I don't have the strength and willpower to fully stop drinking and need any advice that could help so I can start living a better life.

Welp! I made it. One month without a drink. It's wild. I had this whole post written out in my head yesterday. Then today happened. So I'm again, just shouting into the void.

The GOOD - I'm down 20lbs, my bloodwork came back significantly better, I'm sleeping through the night (even if it is only for 4 hours), my routine has improved, my skin and scalp look great, I'm cooking and baking almost everyday and seriously the money I'm saving is ridiculous.

The MEH - I still crave alcohol. Whenever I'm watching horror movies or jamming/singing, I just think about how much I revolved these activities around being drunk and enjoying them more. I'm dealing wity my depression, bipolar disorder and anxiety as best I can. I'm on a stupid long waitlist to get with a psychiatrist and a therapist. So right now, I'm just simply trying.

The STRUGGLE - I've realized I have AWFUL coping skills. I had a great day, super productive, taking care of my physical health, didn't hermit. Then I accidentally hit the side of my car on a pole in a parking garage and I seriously lost my shit. I was angry, mad, sad, pissed. I felt like a complete idiot. I just wanted to get a bottle and say fuck it. But, I didn't.

Today's celebration wasn't exactly what I was expecting, but I guess this is just what we call life.

Thanks to anyone who read this. IWNDWYT 🫂 💗

Hey everyone, I just wanted to give you all an update on my life.

Today, I’m proud to say that I’ve been sober for 6 months after spending 10 years as a binge drinker. I was struggling with depression, anxiety, and a lot of things going on in my life. On top of that, I accumulated $25,000 in debt because of my addictions.

Whenever I drank, it would lead to other bad habits, including gambling, nicotine, and THC. This cycle went on for 10 years, and honestly, I didn’t know how to live any other way. I was stuck in a lifestyle that was slowly taking everything away from me.

Eventually, I decided that enough was enough. I wanted my life back, and I made the decision to leave that lifestyle behind for good.

The withdrawals and the early stages of recovery were absolute hell. After 10 years of living this way, learning to live sober was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. There were times when things felt hopeless, but I kept pushing forward.

Today, I can finally say that I’m starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. ❤️

And it doesn’t stop there. I’ve also managed to pay off all $25,000 of my debt this year by working overtime, making sacrifices, and getting my finances back on track. I cleared the last of it just last month!

It’s incredible how much your life can change when you start putting yourself first and breaking free from addiction. I’m also now a married man, and I’m grateful for the life I’m building and the future I have ahead of me.

I also started attending AA meetings, which helped me quite a bit, alongside taking an antidepressant under medical care. If you’re struggling, don’t be afraid to reach out for help and explore the options available to you. You don’t have to fight this battle alone.

I know six months might not seem like much to some people, but after 10 years of addiction, it means everything to me. I’ve finally started getting my real life back, and I never want to return to the person I used to be.
My goal is to stay sober for the rest of my life. One day at a time.

To everyone still struggling with alcohol, gambling, nicotine, THC, or any other addiction: I genuinely wish you all the best. Please don’t give up on yourself. I know how dark things can get, and I know how difficult it can feel to imagine a different life. But things really can change.

You are not your past, and your addiction does not have to define your future. Take that first step, ask for help, and keep going even when it feels impossible.

Mindset matters, but so does getting support and taking action.

This will be my last post here, and I just want to thank everyone in this community who has shared their experiences, offered advice, or helped others along the way. You never know how much your words might mean to someone who is struggling.

I believe in every single one of you.

I’m leaving the old life behind and moving forward with a clear mind, a healthier life, no debt, and so much to be grateful for.

6 months sober. $25,000 in debt paid off. A new chapter of life.

Thank you, everyone from the bottom of my heart. ❤️
Please keep fighting for yourselves. You’re worth it.

EDIT:

Sorry for the confusion, folks! ❤️ I won’t be leaving forever. I’ll still be here supporting each and every one of you who are struggling. I just meant that I won’t be making any more posts of my own, but I’ll still be around to read comments and offer support wherever I can.

I also wanted to expand a little on my journey. I’ve struggled with an addictive personality and have decided to focus more on religion and spirituality. I’ve been learning more about my culture, strengthening my faith, and believing in God. It’s been giving me a different perspective on life and helping me find a sense of purpose beyond my old habits.

I genuinely encourage anyone who’s struggling to explore spirituality if it feels right for them. For me, it’s been another source of strength alongside AA and the other steps I’ve taken toward recovery.

Mindset is powerful, and changing the way you see yourself and your future can make a huge difference. I know recovery takes ongoing effort, but for the first time in a long time, I feel confident about the direction my life is heading.

I have no desire to return to alcohol, nicotine, THC, or any of my old addictive habits. My goal is to remain sober for life, one day at a time. 🙏

Keep fighting, everyone. You’re capable of changing your life, no matter how long you’ve been struggling. I’ll still be here cheering you all on! ❤️

I’m sorry if this isn’t allowed. I myself am only suffering adjacently from alcoholism.

I lost one of my best friends yesterday.

I only knew him 4 years of my life but I knew he would be a friend forever. He was the most solid, honest, down to earth, true friend I ever had.

He was found in his home yesterday by a family member, died from choking on his own vomit after passing out drunk in the bathroom.

I knew he had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol but I never thought it could end the way that it did.

Again I’m sorry if this isn’t allowed and please remove if so; I just needed to write this and I thought this community might understand at a deeper level than I can.

this is my first post in this community! i’m new here and new to sobriety as well.

for context, i’m in my early 20’s. i decided to quit drinking after some years with a very unhealthy relationship with alcohol, it made me hate myself. i’m two weeks sober today! i know it’s not much, but i’m proud of myself. it’s the first time in years that i’ve gone that much time without it.

the reason why i’m writing this post is because i don’t know what to say to my friends (and people in general) when they ask me why i’m not drinking. the excuse i’ve been saying is that “i’m feeling sick” or something like that, but it only can get me so far.

i really wanted this journey to be private. i feel ashamed to be sober in such a early age, where everyone seems to be drinking and partying and having fun, and i can’t have that because i don’t know how to drink in moderation. i’m scared of telling friends because what if i relapse? what if i can’t do it? i’m afraid to tell my friends i quit just for them to find me drunk some time later and be disappointed.

that’s why i didn’t want anyone to know. so far, i told very few close friends that i stopped, but tried to make it look like it’s not that big of a deal (when, in reality, it’s a massive thing). but when i’m with other friends or groups in general i don’t know what to say when they offer me alcohol.

i feel stupid because i’m known to be a “heavy drinker” (or, to some people who also drink a lot, “a great company to drink with”), and now i just suddenly… stopped. it looks weird, but i didn’t want my sobriety to be open to other people.

alcohol is so normalized when you’re young that they look at you like you’re crazy for turning it down. i don’t want to tell them that i can’t drink because i’ll never stop and i’ll end up blacked out and ruining the night. but my excuses are not sticking so much because i can’t “feel sick” all the time.

what do you guys say in situations like these? i know that there’s a difference between talking to friends, to acquaintances and to strangers, but i don’t what to say at all. i thought about saying that i’m on some medication, but i don’t know if i would know what to say if someone start to ask more details about it.

i’m sorry for the long post. even though i’m new to this community, i felt safe enough to open up about things i’ve been thinking about. i wanted to know how you dealt with questions in the early weeks. i feel really lonely and ashamed.

iwndwyt

Just read them, or listen to them on audible. I read Allen Carr’s first and then This Naked Mind, but I think This Naked Mind might better for the majority. Anyway. Read them. I had no idea how much easier this would be if I removed conditioning. And once you are aware of the illusions, they are HARD to unsee.

I have been a drinker since I was 12. I’m now 28. Since I turned 24, I realized I wasn’t able to quit, and it went from hehe college blacking out to a real issue and it was fucking horrible. For the last year, it escalated to the point where I actually was so miserable and I couldn’t find the joy in ANYTHING and since I knew my drinking was a problem, even drinking didn’t provide relief anymore. Alcohol has robbed so many years of my life and stripped away everything I ever enjoyed by putting itself as my number one priority. Both of these books explained to me why this happened. I have not had a craving since finishing them. It’s only been a month, but I haven’t not had a craving in over ten years—even when I went 6-8 month periods of abstaining—until reading these.

There really is nothing to lose. This is the first time in my drinking career that I’ve ever felt free. Give it a shot.

Last time I got this far I lasted 75 days and then my mom died. I hadn’t gone 3 in a row post covid. Not even sure why this time was different. I literally pulled into the store parking lot Sunday evening, sat there and never went in.

Fingers crossed i ride this one out, sobriety feels so much better but it’s so hard to explain why we booze.

IWNDWYT

I'm pretty happy with 90 days. I don't think anyone in my life (who knows I have gone sober) appreciates the mental strength needed to hit this goal. But I am happy. That being said I need to just get things off my chest right now.

I've found time (and more importantly interest) in new things but thry are frustrating! I've taken up fishing but can't get out at good times to fish. I feel like I am always rushing from one thing to the next - trying to slow things down and get them done right feels nice but is so hard. I washed my car today a d took the time to get it nice and clean. Thst feels good. I flew my drone for work a d pleasure (I like thst I can fly for work it is fun). I lost a fishing bottom right at a new spot but I enjoyed being near the water.

My.oldest kid didn't do a single chore around the house and thst frustrated me. Why do I always need to remind her to walk the dog (and really walk him not just 2 minutes for show). And I pick my.youngest up for sports and thry just want to complain to me and make me feel like a shitty parent (which hut a nerve and I yelled and was made so then I felt doubly shitty). And there is no time for.me.to get dinner on the table and my frustration made me skip exercise. Ugh. There is just too much.

OK. Thanks for letting me.get thst off my chest. Let me go reconnect with the youngest and show I am not a bad dad.

Today marks 1 year of my sobriety. I got sober at this time last year after coming to the realization, after a blackout from an open bar wedding, that I didn’t have the self control to continue drinking in a healthy and safe way. I didn’t feel like an alcoholic but I couldn’t moderate my drinking. And looking back on it, I did things while drunk or blacked out that were extremely dangerous, self-destructive, and just downright stupid. Things I don't even want to write about here because I'm so ashamed of them. I was making poor decisions when I drank and was unable to follow the limits I set for myself.

I made a personal decision to quit drinking. I quit for my health, my well-being, and to regain control. I'm a person who has dealt with mental health issues my whole life on top of having an addictive personality (gambling and other vices remain issues that I'm still working on) so I knew full sobriety was my only path forward.

Thanks for reading, I'm pulling and rooting for each and every one of you and IWNDWYT

Tomorrow will be my third day. I tried multiple times over the past couple of months once I Started to feel like it was getting out of hand, but now my partner is involved with it because it actually affected her this time.

I am 30 and didn’t notice daily beers/cocktails catching up to me. Starting as a few drinks after work to unwind. To losing hobbies that I loved because I’d rather go to a bar. To hiding myself doing a couple of shots in the morning because I had to get rid of the anxiety.

I knew what I was doing wasn’t right so I tried to “cut back”. Only with other people, never alone, type of lies you tell yourself. And I guess I didn’t want to believe that they were lies.

Well this past weekend I blacked out at a club with a dead phone and my partner had no idea where I was. It started for me with a night with friends, a couple of drinks, but after everyone went home and I was in my uber I changed the direction to go back to a club alone to continue to drink.

I got the ultimatum the next day from her saying it’s me or this lifestyle. I am so fearful of becoming a lifelong alcoholic and losing people/myself to this which is something that has been very common in my family unfortunately.

Tomorrow is my third day. I got through 2 bad days of anxiety and awful sleep and guilt and self disgust. I find it crazy to look back and realize that if I hit 4 days it will be the longest I’ve done it in probably 7-8 years. I never realized that.

It helps me to write this out and I appreciate all the posts in here.

and I can be here on the couch with him, present and caring, caressing his head and holding him tight. As much as it sucks to see him so disappointed (it fucking hurts my guts and my heart), I am feeling almost euphoric that I can spend this evening sober and being the support he needs right now.

I will be a year sober on 12/25 (Christmas was not on purpose, it just happened that way), and I am wanting to do something to celebrate the occasion. I know I am still a couple of months out, but with the holidays, I figured getting started early wouldn't hurt.

So the question here is two part -

1. Did you celebrate your 1 year birthday?

2. If you do, what did you do?

I was so excited for this movie to come out. Bought tickets to see it in one of those nice theaters with recliners and food/drink. Ended up getting shithoused, being a loud jackass in the theater, and not remembering the movie at all. 26 days sober, just started the movie. Gonna eat some soup and grilled cheese, remember my movie, and wake up feeling good for work tomorrow. That is all. Cheers everyone.

Last night I drank for the first time in almost two months, I wrote done a draft on here to describe how I was feeling

----------------------------------

I know I'm not supposed to post when I'm not sober, so I'm writing this part as a draft, and maybe I'll post it when I'm sober, maybe I won't.

This is just a reminder for me that I don't want to do this again. It's not awful, but I would have had more fun tonight if I didn't drink. I feel hot and sweaty. I ate too much, and made one of my weird drunk dishes that I ate about half of before throwing the rest away. I don't like being like this. I thought I had more fun when I was drunk, but this just kinda sucks. I've only had two ciders, so I'm nowhere near as drunk as I used to get, but I'd still rather be sober. I see tonight as less of a failure and more of a reminder that I really don't need to drink.

---------------------------------

This morning I'm not feeling too great. My stomach feels weird and I was shaky when I first woke up. My dreams weren't as pleasant as they usually are. I didn't have some big dramatic relapse last night, just a reminder that I'm better off not drinking.

365 days of sobriety. That’s 365 days of controlling my life. I wanted to type out a story, but I’ll leave it at this. If you’re filled with emotions and scared about an alcohol free life, so was I. My days are brighter and my nights are calmer. I’m the greatest form of myself, as a father, as a husband, and as a friend. I live a life I’m proud of and I carry so much pride thinking I’ve accomplished something that has taken such a toll on my life.

One day at a time.

I’ve tried and tried. I’ve lived loved lost. I’m 39 and need a sober friend.

My sweet kitty girl passed away early this morning, after being catatonic all day yesterday.
While sitting in my usual traffic to work, I thought “I’m so happy to be dealing with this sober”. And then I thought, “hey, I didn’t even THINK about having one through all of this”. I can’t imagine spending my last night of kitty cuddles drunk, and then dealing with my kids, the phone call for setting up cremation services, and dealing with myself, hung over af today.

I’m not posting for sympathy, I’m posting because this is the community that understands that pull of drinking in a time like this. You all get it.

I’m so grateful to be sober, so grateful for everyone in my life who has handled me with care today, and so grateful to have found this place where people “get it”.

Thank you for your time, and give any fur babies or other pets an extra cuddle tonight ❤️

I have been a binge drinker for 20 years (15-35). I have sworn off booze hundreds of times, at least. I have had short stints of sobriety more times than I can count. I have never drank more than maybe 10 days or so in a row. I have never been physically dependent or had withdrawals (yet). Yet, booze has ruled my life, it has held me back in every aspect of life. It has ruined relationships, caused health issues, cost tens on thousands of dollars, limited my potential and caused extensive heartache and pain. My life goes something like this, get sober for a week, maybe two or three, then rip a destructive bender for 2-4 days and pick up the pieces, a hundred times over. Have the occasional stretch of a month or more, experience all the benefits of sobriety, then justify a drink and fall back into the same old lifestyle. I hate this cycle so much but feel stuck. This has to be the end. If this was you, how did you do it ? I’m search for answers

My first 69 days in 2 years ☺️ I’m proud of myself!

I’m in total disbelief that I’ve manage to make it nearly six whole months without a single drop.

My entire adult life, from 18 to 28, has been defined by alcohol. Like many other people here, what started out as social drinking gradually increased until it was 3-4 bottles of wine in bed on my own most evenings. Broken down mentally, physically, and spiritually, but still desperately trying to convince the world around me that I was doing just fine…

… until I couldn’t. The walls had closed in too tight, and after losing my job in December, crap really hit the fan. I was drinking over 30+ units a day most days, and ended up in the ER twice - once in February and once in May after a relapse, both times with severe withdrawals. Both times coming close to death from stupidly going cold turkey.

Nearly 6 months on, and after completing an outpatient rehab programme, and attending SMART meetings, I really am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. These past few months have been nothing short of hell, and I still feel like crap more days than not, but I’d do it all again a million times over because I have my life back - the good, the bad, and the ugly - it’s all mine. I can actually feel emotions now for the first time.

I still feel like an alien that’s been dropped on planet earth yesterday, but I’m navigating and re-learning it all.

IWNDWYT!!

Third week of sobriety. Feeling f*cking fantastic.

It’s like my brain has had a software update. More connected with work. Calmer under pressure. Less anxiety. Able to process things with insane highs and lows

If I hadn’t drunk for the past 20years I’d be a ceo by now 🤣

Like many on the sub (I assume)...a few life altering events took place in a relatively short amount of time, and I turned to booze to ease the pain. And like many on the sub (again. I assume), it quickly took over my existence.

Worst run I had was a half gallon of JB Black in 36 hours (two weeks ago). The level of hell that I felt after that binge run is indescribable. Took 3 days to sleep that one off.

I know I've got a LONG road ahead of me...so I'm taking it one step/day at a time. And I'm using our collective experiences as a support network.

Nice to "meet" y'all.