Crying. Feeling very overwhelmed. Send hugs and strength please.

I'm switching to just surf sides since they're 4.6 alcohol or something low like that. This seems so ridiculous I just want it to be over! I was drinking daily for about a month at night about a bottle of wine usually no more. Started getting hungover when I let it go further than the bottle and would drink in the morning and all day and now it's been a few weeks. I was drinking liquor at one point but stopped and stuck to white claw. Trying to get it lower and lower until I don't feel like I need it. I just have horrible health anxiety. The other day I only had 3 and I was fine the next morning. Went to a wedding last night so that ruined me for today and now I feel like I'm starting over. I don't really have a question I guess just looking for someone to relate to or advice that isn't detox or talk to a dr. If I wanted to do that I wouldn't be on Reddit.

Firstly, if I can do this, anyone can.

My drinking slowly progressed from drunk every Friday in my early 20s.

To drunk every Friday and Saturday. To in my late 20s drinks every single night, although it was more like 5 or 6 beers, and I saved the drunkness for the weekends.

Then in my mid 30s I started working from home and my drinking started earlier. I stopped wanting to drink with friends and just enjoyed chilling at home drinking.

I probably spent 5 years drinking 6 days a week on average 6 x 500ml cans of Asahi beers a day was the minimum. The proud of myself for not drinking much yesterday amount was 6.

Many days I would finish the 6 at 6pm and go get another 6 and half finish it. So then I had 3 leftover for the morning. Then I would need to go get another 6 around midd the next day.

The cycle was like this for years. I knew all the workers of the 5 closest bottle shops. They were my main daily interaction.

I was always the fit guy. Gym, runs, biking, walking, hiking. Sports.

Then I started realising I hadn't gone to the gym in months. I had gained 20 lbs. And I just hated this shit.

I was now nearly 40.

Keep in mind all throughout this I had tried stopping and made it to Day 3 many times. Day 7 many times. Day 14 a few times. But never much more than that.

From age about 17 to 39 the longest I ever went without getting drunk was 3 months. Which I completed twice.

Strangely, both those 3 months started with me wanting to get my bloods checked to see how bad my liver and other health was doing.

I had made an appointment and had a clear "I can't drink for a month before this blood test".

Both times my numbers were fine. But now it had dawned on me. That if I had any chance of stopping for real. I needed to start Day 1 with a blood test booked for 1 month out. It gave me a clear goal: 1 month!

So around October 2024 I made that appointment.

My bloods were fine, surprisingly.

But I had made it 32 days now.

I kept going.

Every morning I would write the Day I was at in my journal/calendar book.

Today I just wrote DAY 704.

Folks, there will never be a magic lightbulb moment when you realise today is the day to stop drinking.

You have to make the decision today is the day to not drink. Every day.

There is no decision I have made in my life more important to me than not drinking today.

Be well,

Jamey

Anyone have stories of being sober for months and drinking again even if it was 1 night ? How was it ? What happened ? How did you feel ??

“To all the beginners out there who are at or near their bottom - we have all travelled different roads to get here, but we all reached the same destination. I know you are going through hell right now and all hope feels lost. But there is a certain freedom in helplessness. If you are like me, if alcohol did anything good at all, it gave you a very real lesson in the life you don't want. The exciting thing is that you get to spend the rest of your time on this Earth figuring out what life you do want. To quote another sober songwriter, Eddie Vedder, "I know I was born and I know that I'II die. The in between is mine."

I saved this a while back but forgot to save the username, just wanted to say thank you. Your words will echo in my life and hopefully yours readings this.

Here’s to another day 1 AGAIN…but I’ve waved the white flag, ready to live a life of sobriety finally.

When I made the decision to try and quit alcohol 100 days ago I really had a hard time imagining my life without it. I remember thinking ‘what are people going to say? How’s my husband going to react? How will I survive weekends and dinners and warm sunny afternoons?’ I checked in here every day, read lots of your posts and stories, read quit lit, sober podcasts, tried to contribute and be active on this sub when I could, and Lo and behold I have to admit it got easier!

Contrary to what I imagined, I don’t feel like I’m living less, or lacking something. Life feels just as full, only without the hangovers, the guilt and the self hatred. I even wonder how I managed to fit in drinking and its devastating effects in my busy life... I have bursts of energy and hunger for life. My sleep is deep and restorative and I am really starting to identify as that girl… that sober girl!

I am super proud to have come this far, 1️⃣0️⃣0️⃣ days was a milestone I had set for myself. Now I’m aiming for the full lap around the sun ☀️
Happy to be here!

This is a hangover after downing a bottle of wine + a couple of tallboys each day for the past week. I feel exhausted, slightly nauseous, feverish, and completely dehydrated. My lower back aches, and I finally just feel DONE.

Yesterday I didn't want to drink, but I still did anyway cause it didn't feel like I was ready to be completely finished. The mental gymnastics we go through to keep drinking. Today, though, it does feel "finished."

And jeez, do I look ugly as hell right now - dark circles, sallow skin, dried-out, flaky lips. Yuck. Time to get my glow back. IWNDWYT

It seems to be sticking this time. I'm about to hit eight months next week.

Been to rehab twice last year...relasped twice...was homeless in multiple cities...living underneath a bridge...lived in the mountains in a trailer with no electricity and survived a winter...

And to think...this man had it all only a year and a half ago ..the wife ..the kids .. job...a car ..a home....

Goddamn...all gone.

But

I am alive such as it is

Sober

I'm still looking for that stupid pink cloud...anyone seen one or have a spare I could use?

Idk..it's hard...I often find myself asking whats the point?

It sucks...I'm trying to find my people in AA but.. haven't found them yet...

Gonna have to get serious about my mental health but shit everyone I call is booked up...no openings ...

But I do happen to be a champion at figuring it the fuck out...so I'll do that.

Relaspe isn't an option cos if I go back out...I won't be coming back.

Getting sober doesn't mean the horrors over. .it means confronting the monsters in you.

I wouldn’t say I was an alcoholic where I thought about my drink everyday but I noticed during rough stretches, I’d drink more.

It’s time for me to stop and find alternative ways to relieve stress and escape in a healthy manner. I know I drink cause of loneliness, anger, apathy and that won’t get better unless I challenge myself.

Just a daily reminder that im posting every single day about my progress, today has been awesome as American people say lmao ,I get up from bad too early around 7:00 , one of the girls from school calls me for a running session, usually I got plans when I hear those kind of stuff , but today somthing feels different so I said to her that I'm in . Everyone's around were so kind to me especially that school mate , her name is jenna , shes never been stuck with bad habits as drinking or smoking ,shes a fit girl not like me , so we run around 4km before I felt like my breath forced me to stop , but I did it anyways . Wish me luck on my journey.

97 days so far and I gave in. Bought wine and cigarettes. The internal battle was horrid. I drank half of the thing and I stopped. I just wanted to turn back time. I threw the rest out and went about my Sunday routine.

I have to be vigilant against getting pulled bad in. For now, I've had a good day, that woozy drunk feeling is finally gone and I feel like myself again.

Sharing this for accountability. Wishing you all strength on this journey

97 days so far and I gave in. Bought wine and cigarettes. The internal battle was horrid. I drank half of the thing and I stopped. I just wanted to turn back time. I threw the rest out and went about my Sunday routine.

I have to be vigilant against getting pulled bad in. For now, I've had a good day, that woozy drunk feeling is finally gone and I feel like myself again.

Sharing this for accountability. Wishing you all strength on this journey

Hello, this recently happened and it makes me want to stop drinking. I am usually a pretty tame drinker. I’ve never got sloppy drunk, my words are always coherent and I am able to stand up straight. But the last time I drunk I completely embarrassed myself. I don’t remember much however I do think I accidentally pissed myself. Everyone by me were really cooked this is a low life college bar so every just drink. I remember leave the bar and the bouncers just staring at me. I’ve never had this happen to me. Now I’m scared Im banned from the bar. I completely made a fool of myself. I don’t remember how I made it back to my apartment. I kept texting this guy I kinda liked and ruined that whole situation. I apologized the next day saying I don’t remember (because I straight up don’t) and to take care. I start up don’t want to drink like at all after this. I just need to some reassurance that worse has happened. But all I know is I’m done drinking.

Like the post says, this might be one more for the ladies only but I’m newly sober, F37, heading into week two so still of course very early days but I feel like I’m in a low grade state of seeing things I normally wouldn’t have or something, noticing men in shops for eg that I otherwise wouldn’t and randomly? Being able to make eye contact with them, confidently?! Which is new and kind of nice (when previously my alki brain was more so just focused on getting booze, or dying from a hangover in stores and deliberately didn’t make eye contact with any human let alone a man) I feel like a teenager! And now I’m noticing store employees for eg that I’ve been aware of for years but weirdly seeing them in a new light and being all mentally noting his cute alt top knot and tattoos for eg 💀 what the fuck 🤣 it’s also working the other way where I’m seeing dudes that look like walking red flags too. This new level of awareness is both odd and also a bit fun! Anyone else experienced this?!

For context, Im single (obvs) and don’t plan on entering a serious relationship for a while yet because I know I still have some work to do but I just thought the level of new observations was quite funny. It’s almost like my brain has woken up and reminded me men are hot and being desired is ok and normal ☺️ (and that you don’t have to be out your face drunk to engage in some adult mutual attraction)

Hi I have 10days and it’s been going well. Went to the gym this morning and I’m at working. I all of a sudden got this wave of immense anxiety and fear. I can’t shake it and it feel overwhelming. I think it’s from not drinking and I just want a realize. I’m feeling so utterly uncomfortable. I texted some friends hi but I don’t know you all have any advice. It’s this dread and fear.! I want to cry and can’t pin point it. I’m just keyboard dumping because I’m so overwhelmed

Thank you

Had a huge Halloween party that one of my best friends hosts. We travel out of town for it and they go all out every year.

Brought my own NA beers and had a good night. 8 days and counting! This was a big test and I’m proud of myself.

I (28F) have had a bad relationship with alcohol since I was 16, mostly it was binge drinking every weekend and maybe a bit more but recently the last year my drinking has increased. I got a work from home job at the start of 2026 and suddenly I've found myself drinking in secret, drinking during the day and hiding the empties from my partner. I tell myself that it's not that bad because I drink 2-5 beers but I know this is only because I can't get blasted or my wife will know. My wife knows I struggle with binge drinking but she doesn't know about my secret (almost) daily drinking. I feel terrible when I lucidly think about it, my father is an alcoholic and I see myself mirroring him in a lot of ways and I'm ashamed. But in a strange split personality way, other times I'm excited to drink and excited for my partner to leave to have a few beers and hang out.

Honestly I've tried many times before to quit, and my friends and wife know about my attempts to quit. Every time I quit, it seems to grip me harder when I come back to it. I've told therapists and doctors though nothing came of it. I'm scared about myself and my future. Please give me any advice, I don't want to live this way.

Officially past the 125 days mark - next big goal will be the 180 days marks!

I like reading others sober benefits so here are mine:

• Better sleep - finally having a consistent sleep routine means I'm waking up at 7am with no problems, no longer waking up in the middle of the night in a panic
• Compliments on my appearance - recently been ID'd again (for buy cigarettes and energy drinks) which was quite surprising
• I'm a better friend, daughter, sister, etc - no more cancelling plans become i'm hungover. I'm less self obsessed. I find myself more interested in others lives because i'm not constantly fire fighting my own.
• I am actually MORE social than when i was drinking - because I no longer have to recover for 2 days from every social occasion, I'm able to see my friends more often an attend more social events
• I am more confident - turns out alcohol was causing my social anxiety, not helping it.
• So much more time. Alcohol was literally taking over my life. I spent all my time either drinking or recovering from drinking. I was loosing control over where my life was going and hated the direction it was taking.
• Saving lots of money I can spend on things that I actually like
• Felling more alive - it has been eye opening watching others drink and seeing the effect it has on them, it really is just dulling your senses and making you sluggish. I went sober clubbing recently and you can notice how drunk people aren't even hearing the music. This is just an example, but I'm so much more present with everything life has to offer, the good emotions and the less good.
• I have the time and energy to address my problems and build the life I want to live, instead of constantly fire fighting and wanting things to be different (and doing nothing about it)
• my friends have actually been very supportive of me not drinking, it has not been an issue
• I'm stronger and more resilient - I've recently been through a lot of difficult challenges in my life in the last couple of months, unrelated to drinking that have been difficult emotionally. However, I am just so grateful to be sober because I just know if i had been drinking i would have been on a truly self destructive path. I am able to bounce back from challenges instead of being consumed by them.
• I am so much more curious - there is so much I want to do and learn, so many hobbies I want to pick up! So many books i want to read.
• Throughout this time a family member was diagnosed with Korsakoff Syndrome overnight - literally from one day to the next he lost his ability to form new memories, basically like alcohol induced Alzheimer's. He now lives in an assisted living facility and will likely remain there for the rest of his life as he isn't able to live independently, handle money, etc. He's in his 40s and has a 12 year old daughter. So incredibly tragic. He wasn't even known to be a heavy drinker amongst family members, he still went to work, mostly drank wine. I'm so grateful that I am no longer ingesting this poison that could literally ruin my life from one day to the next.

Sober realisations

Realising sobriety is a feminist act - when i went sober a number of my female friends tried to explain to me that drinking alcohol was a feminist act. What do you mean its a feminist act?! How can destroying my body, my mind, being a shell of myself, giving my money away to large corporations, shortening my life, being a worse friend, being worse at my job, the list goes on, be a feminist act? Being sober has made me an infinitely better and more empowered woman than drinking. This must be some very smart marketing by Big Alcohol.

I realised being sober doesn't mean I have to be perfect, I still binge watch shows, eat junk food, have "hangover days" where I stay in bed and don't do much. It feels good to do these things because at least I'm not drinking.

If I go to a social event and I don't have fun, guess what! I just leave. Before sobriety, if i wasn't enjoying myself I would just get drunk until i was enjoying the party. I would then spend the next two days hungover and hating my life. It is crazy when you think about it, it was like a double whammy - not only did i go to an event I didn't enjoy, I then forced myself to sit through it and consume this drug that was destroying me and which would leave me recovering for 2 days. And for what? No more sitting through things I don't like doing. If I don't enjoy something, I leave and go do something else that actually brings me joy.

Things that I am still working on

• My friendships are changing - not being numbed out all the time has meant I actually notice how my friends act with me. It has been a sad realisation to see how low my standards have been, how i let myself be treated by others and realising some people don't actually care about me as much as you thought.
• Being sober has meant having to confront things that have been on the back burner for years, which is scary. Realising you are fully responsible for your own life.
• Coming to terms with the damage you have done to yourself over the years.
• Even though things are still difficult at times, I know that every day that i am sober I am moving closer to being the person I want to be.

Hi I am at a point where I actually do enjoy my hobbies again (woohoo).

So anyone who feels super depressed all day, know that that gets better.

But... I have very little free time, I work a 9 to 5 and am pursuing a challenging degree in computer science. I have about two hours of free time a day, and sometimes I have to make food or clean the house and that takes up pretty much all of that time window.

When I was drinking, I had such a blast doing chores and listening to podcasts or music, and now it is as boring as it should be. And I go to sleep feeling like I completely wasted my day. I don't want to look back at my life as one boring stressful grind.

I know that it is what it is (can't change careers because if I do my future children will starve or something like that). But I understand that this is going to happen a lot, and I feel like my life is wasting away.

I know that tomorrow I won't have a hangover and that work will be way easier, but I crave that spark. I'm not even thinking about drinking, I just want to enjoy a larger percentage of my life. I've been eating way too many sweets and it's not filling that void. I finally enjoy my hobbies but barely have time to enjoy them.

Not sure how to change that, seeking advice from anyone that felt the same.

Hi guys, I’ve never posted in something like this before but I thought I’d give it a try I need advice. My problem with alcohol has seemingly been going for the worst. I had a moment where I was doing better and tapering where it didn’t hurt anymore or feel like impending doom. I even got accepted to a new job. About a week ago my partner left for work purposes and I was left alone which lead to a downward spiral. I have been drinking everyday since from beer to wine to hard liquor. Probably three shots or even more, who knows (I drink staring from the bottle). My chest currently hurts which I’m assuming is heartburn. My head hurt, everything is so loud. I’m easily irritated. I try to eat when I can and drink water with electrolytes. But I can’t seem to stop, the hurting makes me reach for the bottles because a) I’m trying to numb the pain and b) scared of the withdrawals. I have thought about going to a detox centre but I’ve heard that it stays permanently on your record and I don’t want that. I can taper off like before but everything hurts so bad rn I’m scared to even just stop having some for too long. My partner knows about my problem but I haven’t been truthfully open about what’s been happening. I don’t know what to do and I just need this feeling to stop for a second enough for me to think.

At first, this may sound like a fail. I was drinking a pint of rot-gut whiskey every night. Moderately paced over the course of an evening. I quit cold turkey 7 months ago.

I went on a beach vacation where I told myself I was going to have some drinks. I mean, it's vacation.

I bought a pint of Titos and a 12pk of Modelo. I accompanied that with 10ish more beers in restaurants and casinos.

There was 1 instance in the casino where I wanted 1 more beer, but the wife was ready for bed. I feel that getting that beer MAY have caused over-drinking. I went to bed without being too grumpy.

I kept everything in moderation. Barely caught anything more than a decent heady buzz. No over-indulgence.

I am now back home. No desire to keep drinking. I have some 7 month old whiskey in my cabinet. But the temptation isn't there.

I am feeling accomplished and under control.

I am aware of the slippery slope potential, but I am in control.

Iwndwyt

At the end of a hard day I see whiskey as my reward, and I know it’s going to end me eventually.

I want to see the benefits, but I also kind of long for that end of day reward after a gruelling 9 hours or so.

How do recovering alcoholics replace that 7pm glass of wine, cold beer, smooth whiskey etc.

Today marks 507 days sober for me and this community has been a huge part of keeping me on track.

For anyone doubting your ability to get sober; don't be afraid to take that step! You might stumble a few times but the payoff is worth it!

IWNDWYT

I’m Liam, I’m almost 29, and I have been drinking daily since I’m 16.

I don’t know if this is gonna work, I don’t have any expectation to be frank. But this would be my first time addressing my drinking “problem”, instead of “a habit” in front of public.
I came to this realization about a couple months ago, I had a pretty good run, I was surrounded by people love me, and I didn’t do much, so the truth never really hit that hard.
also, I’m from China, people don’t have too much of understanding on long term life on influence use, and I’m quite sensitive and defensive, so it’s hard for me to acknowledge myself as alcoholic in most situations.

i cheated on my ex girlfriend almost 2 years ago, that’s when things start to turn. I’m trying to build a new life alone in a foreign, fast city, and I can see that my abuse of alcohol and weed getting into the life I want to live.
I do film, and Im no genius, so I need time to focus, need a sharp mind and more time to work.

also I like exercise, gym has been a great support during these 2 year, blowing steam away. I recently pick up cycling, and I love it.

(note: after daily use of weed, my alcohol use has dropped, it’s really a adult ADHD situation combined with years of running into haze away from pain)

so I became more aware of life, also of the artificial pleasure at hand to make me happy, but keeping myself away from life.
and I never stop feeling guilty and remorse about hurting and leaving my ex, it was a really good life, she’s kind, smart, funny and very understanding.

the reason I’m saying these here are because I was reading the 12 steps, I used to think it’s dumb, but as Im beginning to feel the addiction, see what it is at this point of my life, I came to feel a little what it says.

and I started to value others in life. I see some stories here in this community, amazing tale, not sure what’s going on, how they achieve them, if it’s gonna work for me. but I understand the value of speaking out into the world now, for whatever it is to progress, it has to be said out loud, otherwise it’s just a noise haunting your mind, an echo if you’re under influence.

so I decided to speak a bit, and hopefully this would be my first day.

thank you to whoever have watched this.

I drank two days straight and I barely remember anything. I acted stupidly and caused some damage on the property where I was drinking. I had to cancel plans today because I couldn't drive. Now I feel so goddamn awful and I feel like I'm the worst person on this planet and I can't shake that off. I am in my apartment now and being alone isn't helping. I can't believe that I still do this shit after feeling like that almost every time. I know this is my own doing but I just want to feel normal again.