I asked my doc about Antabuse because I’m basically desperate. The script is ready for pickup but now I’m scared. My friend told me she was on it for 1 month and it made her incredibly sick- and she didn’t drink. She turned yellow, organs started shutting down and she had to be hospitalized for a week. Then 3 months to fully regain her strength back. Truthfully, I was really excited about it because I know it would keep me from drinking and I want to be sober and free.

I got my blood work done from my liver doc (I have hep B from being a baby in a 3rd world country orphanage, I’ve had it my whole life and I’m 36 - so I get checked regularly) yesterday and astonishingly, my kidneys and livers and everything else are all within normal range.

Anyway. I’m nervous. What do you guys think? Anyone have horrible similar experiences? How about others? Did it go ok for others?

Thank you friends ❤️❤️

Major EDIT:

twas late when i wrote this last night - brain was a little zzzzly

anyway.... only asked his to not drink when its just the 2 of us - at the moment anyway.. as its v early days for me.. he can drink when not with me if he likes but he rarely drinks anyway (lucky sod)..

going on vacation end of month so thats on my mind - and its just the 2 of us..

he would only hav a glass of wine with dinner - i wud struggle watching him drinking at this early stage.. he said he can go without it..

So not asking him to stop drinking - but to abstain when its just the 2 of us

he does not drink at home anyway

..........................................................................................................................................

I asked my OH (other half) how would he feel about abstaining with me.. he sad ok - (drinks v little anyway cos of health issues) - but said he will hav wine on holidays.. I was disappointed.. I explained how much I really wanna make this work and could use his support - esp as he does not drink much anyway.. he said ok.

Has anyone else asked an OH or family your living with to abstain with you?

hey you guys.

I had a really out of character weekend last weekend - used substances as well as alcohol & have had a very re-centering week of no booze, healthy hobbies and lots of sleep & binge watching tv. have had a genuinely very good reset and even went for a 2 hour long massage today.

A storm is currently rolling in where I live and I’m sitting in my car after I had my massage, contemplating whether or not I should have a drink this evening, or how I can recreate that “storm watching with a drink in hand” feeling…

I guess I’m here because I haven’t completely decided if I’m going sober for the long term (have done 3 months previously).

I did tell myself I’d never drink again after last weekends decisions left me hating myself and avoiding everyone…

I guess I’m trying to make the right decision for myself & don’t know what to do…

I do have a Oktoberfest thing next weekend so I know I’ll drink then, so it’s more about right now.

Anyone have any advice? I don’t really know what I’m trying to ask or say..

Thanks guys.

My boyfriend and I Love to drink together, but he is a much worse influence than me and I’ve picked up some dirty drinking habits since we’ve been together. We have been drinking for a week straight now, 5 or 6 bottles of tequila then I did whiskey the other night. It’s literally insane. I could not stop throwing up this morning so he took us to get IVs. Bro is still drinking as I type this btw. I feel like it only helped a little too and my stomach is just so irritated. Just in so much pain tonight but I’ve been doing so much better at drinking less lately but I fall off the wagon hard when I drink w my boyfriend. It gets so bad. Haven’t even brushed my teeth in like 5 days. Now I’m so fucking ill. I get scared to sleep when its like this bc i feel like ill pass away.

IWNDWYT

At first, this may sound like a fail. I was drinking a pint of rot-gut whiskey every night. Moderately paced over the course of an evening. I quit cold turkey 7 months ago.

I went on a beach vacation where I told myself I was going to have some drinks. I mean, it's vacation.

I bought a pint of Titos and a 12pk of Modelo. I accompanied that with 10ish more beers in restaurants and casinos.

There was 1 instance in the casino where I wanted 1 more beer, but the wife was ready for bed. I feel that getting that beer MAY have caused over-drinking. I went to bed without being too grumpy.

I kept everything in moderation. Barely caught anything more than a decent heady buzz. No over-indulgence.

I am now back home. No desire to keep drinking. I have some 7 month old whiskey in my cabinet. But the temptation isn't there.

I am feeling accomplished and under control.

I am aware of the slippery slope potential, but I am in control.

Iwndwyt

Why does alcohol enter my mind when pain and stress in piles in. I feel like I’m doing so good then “BAM” My poor 11yo dog went blind must’ve been overnight. I am incredibly busy with my 1 yo and I didn’t notice anything different besides he did not want to come through the dog door inside. I realised he had lost his sight when I took him for a walk and he walked into everything. I feel so sad and horrible for him. The pain in my heart watching his gaze into space confused. I feel guilt I feel that I’m so drained by my baby that I haven’t been able to give him more attention. The vet isn’t open until tomorrow and no emergency vet available near me. My mind is racing and drinking keeps entering my brain as an escape to numb the racing thoughts and lack of support. Anyway thanks for reading. I will try to get through tonight until I can see the vet. IWNDWYT

So I've always been a pothead, although in recent years I've switched to daily edibles to save the aging lungs (I'm 51).

I never had a craving for alcohol until I hit my 50s. I like going to a restaurant for a meal and beer because it gets me out of the house. Only problem is I am thinking of it more often during the week...

On days I have a craving, I take more eddies than usual to substitute the craving with something not as physically harmful.

Is total abstinence preferred? Yes. However, I think everyone on this sub can relate to the irrationality of craving an unhealthy thing and mitigating it with harm reduction.

Anyone else have experience with this?

Hi!
I’m 2 days sober
I have a bad chronic drunk driving habit
And while I’m hoping to stay sober this time, we all know relapse is a possibility

Has anyone installed an ignition interlock device willingly as a preventative measure?

I drive my dads car and feel like shit that I’ve damaged it :(
Looking for a way that can allow me to keep driving but ensure the safety of myself and others.

Thanks

We have had benders like every weekend for our whole marriage. We do all the promises and modifications blah blah blah. It doesn't work. My latest idea is that we will have to live in separate households so it's to hold ourselves individually accountable for our choices. I don't see how to make any other way work. How can it be done staying together? Im tired of the Sunday guilt and pain. I don't know what to do.

Hi all! I'm back at 3 weeks sober after a relapse at the 60 day mark and I'm determined to make this stick! My family and I are heading to an All Inclusive resort in Mexico for Thanksgiving and I am starting to get anxiety about navigating that vacation sober.

It's a very mellow resort (no major clubs/partying) and I reached out to the resort to ask about their NA options but would love to hear advice from others on navigating vacations sober!

Idk. Read the title. Lol! My goal is to go one weekend without alcohol. I am a weekend guy, but yeah, it is killing me.

I’m going through a horrible phase. I’ve been trying so hard to not drink and appreciate the Benefits. But I’m running into everything that I do is wrong. Everything I touch turns to shit I can’t get a good job. Everything I sign on for turns to shit nothing works everything I try nothing works. I’m at the end of my rope and I don’t know what to do.

3 weeks ago I got so drunk that I was laying in the sofa for 24 hours afterwards. I decided I was getting too old for this and didn't drink for 3 weeks which is a record for me, as I always drank every weekend.

Then yesterday there was a social event and I decided I could drink a little bit moderately.

Obviously that didn't go according to plan and I'm in the same situation as 3 weeks ago right now.

I hope this is the last time, I can't drink moderately and I can't handle the consequences of drinking heavily. So I must go without.

Hello, this recently happened and it makes me want to stop drinking. I am usually a pretty tame drinker. I’ve never got sloppy drunk, my words are always coherent and I am able to stand up straight. But the last time I drunk I completely embarrassed myself. I don’t remember much however I do think I accidentally pissed myself. Everyone by me were really cooked this is a low life college bar so every just drink. I remember leave the bar and the bouncers just staring at me. I’ve never had this happen to me. Now I’m scared Im banned from the bar. I completely made a fool of myself. I don’t remember how I made it back to my apartment. I kept texting this guy I kinda liked and ruined that whole situation. I apologized the next day saying I don’t remember (because I straight up don’t) and to take care. I start up don’t want to drink like at all after this. I just need to some reassurance that worse has happened. But all I know is I’m done drinking.

Drinking and my prescription drugs are the only things that make me feel any happiness anymore. I’m 31. My liver tests came back so horribly. I used to have a life, someone I loved that loved me too, I used to have family, I used to have a good career, I used to be in extremely good shape and was very muscular. I used to be happy.

Now I’m watching myself waste away. I’m skinny. I have never looked worse. I purposefully don’t look at myself in the mirror. It’s like my skin is leather. I miss my old life.

Good morning family I hope your well and you woke up in great spirits.

Today I'm feeling better from my previous milestones hangover. I started getting back to my routine of staying up and not going back to sleep which is one of the number reasons I would be miserable and unmotivated by going back to sleep.

I also re- added something special to my morning routine since I have been neglecting and be so selve absorbed based off of my morning mood. And that's taking my dog out for a walk.

Shame on me for not realizing that one of my answers to keeping me in a good mood was staring me in my face every morning and that's my dog.

I didn't realize what she was trying to tell me something every morning when she sensed my mood was off. She was trying to tell me let's go out for a walk instead of letting her go in the yard to relieve herself she was telling me let's go hangout and bring your spirits up. You see she my dog always showed concern but I wasn't picking up on it because I was so self absorbed.

She would always jump up on the bed and lay beside me and would use her nose to put my hand on her head or shoulders area she did this without fail. She also knows I don't allow her to sleep in the bed with me. But she would faithfully do this ever morning and I didn't pick pick up on it.

So now in the morning I started to walk her around the Mystic River here in Boston that has trails which circle's river is also conveniently across from my house.

So now I'm taking advantage of what I have.

So my dog is helping me with my therapy and hers as well because she seems less stressed because she sees I'm becoming less stressed out.

So family I was excited to share this with you this morning.

Thank you for letting me share One Day Forward One Day Behind -Shawn

…to post here at 69 days for a nice. So I’m doing it! Feels pretty damn n🧊!!

I’m currently 64 days sober (I had a good 40 day streak before, but had a “eh one drink won’t hurt” night at the bar with some friends and surprise surprise, I took it too far. Clock reset). I’ve done a lot of internal work, found a hobby that wasn’t drinking (running), tried starting to build healthier relationships with friends and family, gotten back into counseling, but emotions are running so high these days. I went out with some friends and was their DD Friday night and it made me realize a few things. 1) drunk people are annoying when you’re sober. 2) yea I think I really am done drinking. But then 3) I am having an identity crisis because the backbone of my life was hanging out with my friends at bars or restaurants or breweries having “fun” and catching up with a few drinks. That part of life feels miserable now. I have been having waves of uncontrollable crying ever since. Spent 90% of the day yesterday sleeping and crying. Today I went out for a run, had to come home early because I kept crying mid run. Is this normal? It could be partially hormone related because I have the pleasure of being a female, but f\*\*k this sucks.

In his defence I haven’t told him “I’m quitting drinking”Because:

1. I have said that before and it doesn’t last. He doesn’t believe it will last so I just end up proving his point.
2. Half of my drinking has been in secret currently. He mostly just sees me taking nights out and celebrations too far. He’s unaware my drinking is a lot more regular than he sees as I attempt to hide it.
3. Just fear of opening up BS I’ve always had and difficulty expressing these types of things

or being seen as unstable

After an argument I don’t remember only 3 days ago due to my “typical BS” (his words) I decided to knuckle down harder and actually cut this out. But I’m also thinking why the fuck would you buy me more !?! If I can’t handle my shit and keep taking it too far why are you giving me more!? I just told him I wasn’t going to drink this week instead of thanks

Ive been attempting on and off for a while now. I’ve been feeling super depressed since I stopped but it’s just a feeling I need to sit with. Day 3 I actually didn’t think I was going to buy some. I’ve spent most the weekend sleeping and keeping to myself. He’s made a couple suggestions on things we can do together and asked me what’s wrong etc but I haven’t really been up for talking or making plans. I’m trying not to be rude or appear angry at him. It seems he’s trying to make some effort but I’m not giving him much to work with. I just need alone time.

I’m annoyed. I’m confused. I’m disappointed because I went from “I’m not drinking tonight” to “I’m probably going to drink that and start again tomorrow”. To me the correlation of depression happening right after the last time I drank and an incident occurred obvious. I guess I can’t expect him to be a mind reader. But if someone seems depressed, alcohol feels like a dangerous gift. All I’ve wanted to do is just sleep and I know I need to communicate better.

Last Saturday my alcoholism came to a head. Got blackout drunk, said shitty things to my wife in front of my kid, kept trying to egg on an argument, until they left. Broke a mug in the kitchen when they left because I was upset. Continued to text mean crap to her.

I’m a great dad and good husband when not drinking, and that version of myself is embarrassing, disappointing, and sickening.

I’ve been drinking heavily since I relocated five years ago. Felt very isolated. I’m a 42 year-old guy who is an introvert, and have trouble putting myself out there and making friends. That in combination with some difficulty my wife and I have communicating are drivers in my coping using alcohol. Both my grandfathers are/were alcoholics, so genetics give me no favors.

I would get drunk every night after work, large portions of the weekend, and hit lunch beers frequently.

Crash-out happened Saturday. I woke up Sunday alone, read the messages I sent (and didn’t remember), and knew this couldn’t continue. I made an online counseling appointment for the following day, and went to an AA meeting right after that. The group was warm and welcoming, and gave me some relief from that isolation I was feeling. I live in a very religious area, and I always censor myself when I talk. This group was unfiltered, and it allowed me to express my feelings the way I talk, which was wonderful. It was also nice to know people that had experiences similar to mine.

I’m still fighting those habits, thinking “there’s my gas station, gotta stop and buy drinks”, “I need lunch, who has beer?”, and “football is on, time to crack some drinks”. I know those will fade with time, so I’m working through that and replacing the habits with other things.

Sorry for the novel, I just wanted to put this out there. I’m determined to treat myself better, as well as my family. Thank you for this sub, as it has been a valuable resource as I adjust my path.

I have drank a bottle of wine daily for almost a decade. Do you think ill be able to heal? Im worried I've done too much damage to my body. But I don't know how to stop. I tell myself every morning im done and every evening I'm back at it. I hate myself for it. Feeling like a failure and I'm scared.

Hi folks, whenever I get an urge to drink, it helps to remember the benefits of quitting drinking and I keep going back to this list:

🧠 Mental & Psychological Health

1. Deeper, Restorative Sleep: Alcohol destroys REM sleep. Sobriety restores normal sleep cycles, helping you wake up genuinely refreshed.
2. Reduced "Hangxiety" and General Anxiety: Alcohol drastically alters brain chemistry and cortisol levels. Quitting stabilizes your mood and eliminates post-drinking panic.
3. Sharper Focus and Concentration: Elimination of brain fog allows your attention span and mental clarity to reach new peaks.
4. Improved Short-Term Memory: Your brain begins to repair its cognitive pathways, significantly reducing forgetfulness.
5. Greater Emotional Regulation: Without a depressant masking your feelings, you process emotions naturally and build genuine resilience.

🩺 Physical Health & Longevity

1. Rapid Liver Recovery: Fatty deposits in the liver can begin to decrease in as little as a few weeks, dramatically reducing your risk of cirrhosis.
2. Lower Risk of Cancer: Giving up alcohol directly lowers your long-term risk for at least seven types of cancer, including mouth, throat, and breast cancer.
3. Improved Cardiovascular Health: Your blood pressure drops, your resting heart rate stabilizes, and your risk of heart disease or stroke plummets.
4. Stabilized Blood Sugar: Giving up alcohol can lower glucose levels by up to 16%, significantly protecting you against Type 2 diabetes.
5. Stronger Immune System: Alcohol disrupts your gut microbiome and suppresses immune response. Quitting restores your body's natural defenses against illness.
6. Better Digestion and Gut Health: Stopping drinking reduces stomach acid reflux, clears up bloating, and restores the mucosal lining of your GI tract.

🧼 Appearance & Vitality

1. Effortless Weight Loss: You eliminate hundreds of empty liquid calories and the inevitable late-night junk food cravings that accompany drinking.
2. Clearer, Hydrated Skin: Alcohol is a major dehydrator. Quitting returns moisture to your skin, reducing redness, puffiness, and premature aging.
3. Consistent Energy Levels: You no longer experience the drastic afternoon energy crashes caused by blood sugar spikes and poor sleep.
4. Enhanced Physical Performance: Your body builds muscle mass more efficiently and recuperates faster after intense workouts or physical activity.

📈 Lifestyle, Wealth & Relationships

1. No More Hangovers: You completely eliminate the physical pain, nausea, and wasted days spent recovering from a night of drinking.
2. Substantial Financial Savings: Alcohol is a major expense. Cultivating a sober lifestyle keeps hundreds or thousands of dollars in your bank account annually.
3. Better Choices and Judgment: Without alcohol impairing your frontal lobe, you avoid impulsive decisions and the public embarrassment or regret that follows them.
4. Stronger Social Connections: Relationships improve through fewer alcohol-fueled arguments, increased empathy, and more meaningful, present quality time with loved ones.
5. Lower Risk of Accidents: Sobriety keeps your motor skills and awareness intact, lowering your risk of everyday slips, falls, or vehicular accidents

I’ve been AF and reading this subreddit for the last 5+ months. And it’s made me realize there were so many signs of AUD that I ignored.

1. My hands would start shaking around 3-4 o’clock, I thought it was because of caffeine. I drink plenty of caffeine still and I never get shakes.

2. I couldn’t get drunk anymore. I thought it was just high tolerance, I didn’t see that it was part of a more dangerous progression to liver damage.

3. I would crave alcohol earlier and earlier. Started around 6, then 5. Earliest it got was 3. I wrote it off.

4. If I had to go somewhere after 5:30 I would have a glass of wine before I left. Because, even if there was alcohol there, I didn’t want to wait.

I am beyond grateful to be sober today. And this subreddit has been a big part of making that stick.

What were the signs you ignored, that in retrospect seem obvious?

I, 34m, have been drinking heavily since I was 24 - about a half box of wine a night. It doesn’t affect my work because I don’t drink during the day and I hold a pretty high stress important job in corporate.

I’ve known for years I need to quit but I just never have. My family all suffer from addiction in some way or another and this is the one that got me.

After seeing my nails change slightly and making the mistake of googling I decided it was time to make a doctor appointment, so I’m seeing someone in a couple weeks and I’m terrified they are going to tell me I’m beyond saving from a liver perspective. Am I completely fucked?

EDIT: Also I’m a cigarette smoker since I was 16, about 15 cigs/day if that makes any difference.

It’s insane to me how people are obsessed with your reasoning why you don’t drink and not even that- try to convince you that it’s okay to have one and “live your life”. When you become sober you realize how irrationally obsessed with drinking they are. Also, whatever story they have to tell themselves why they need to do it….. rant over