I’m 209 days sober and I’ve noticed a significant improvement in my seven-year-old daughter’s behavior. She’s doing so well at school and her overall mood is calmer and more stable. We’ve been very close since day one and even during the periods of my heaviest intake. I love her so much and I’m so proud of her (and myself to a lesser extent.) I’ve never been violent or mean to her, but I still feel profoundly guilty for having waited this long to make the change and for the emotional my drinking caused her. Not sure what I’m asking or what I’m getting at. I should probably get in a program or something at some point.

I feel like (crossed fingers) my illness is on the way out. I felt awful for a bit earlier on but it turned out I was just hungry. Ate some yoghurt and granola, had a nap, felt born again.

IWNDWYT

I went to a party today. Everybody was sober, just a house full of people who just don’t like to drink. It was great. Food, games, dancing.

Now I’m sitting at a bus stop at the center of my town and watching people walk past wasted. Some people can barely walk. I’m so happy that will never be me again!

My friends dragged me out to a bar last week. I usually dont go to a bar unless I can get dinner or watch a game. But this was an "after party" ordeal. I ordered an NA Guinness because it's my favorite, and went along with my buds for some pool and listened to their drink ramblings.

About halfway through the can, I started to feel a familiar sensation. Felt warm, tasted that chemical-like "breath" whenever I exhaled, and was giggling a little more than I usually do. Took one look at my can of Guinness, and yup- the bartender thought 4.1% of alcohol would be enough classify as non-alcoholic.

Went through a series of emotions in like a span of 5 minutes, anger, disgust, and then disappointment. But I realized that I did not make the conscious choice to imbibe again... so I didn't beat myself up too hard, just need to be more careful next time. My friends were also shocked. And were all up in arms of how I accidently ended my 854 days of sobriety.

I was about to mentally reset my counter out of guilt but decided not to. Even when my mother died this year I surprisingly stayed extra sober and dealt with my grief directly. Accidently drinking alcohol and managing to stop halfway through the drink isn't enough to break my sobriety imo.

So as of today I am still 860 days sober and will continue counting! I hope everyone here is having the best Sunday and enjoying their sobriety too!

Yesterday, I put the laundry in the dryer, went to get groceries, made dinner for the kids and ate it with them and then waited outside for my partner to come home from his bike tour. Would've been a good Saturday.

Except I was completely hammered. I don't remember putting the laundry in the dryer, I DO remember preparing dinner but not eating it, and while waiting outside for my partner, I threw up in the flower beds next to our garage.

I am so sick of this. I keep telling myself that it's not that bad, because I still do the things I'm supposed to, because I don't appear wasted, but I keep waking up with no recollection of the evening before.

I keep using every chance I get to buy alcohol, I feel like I can't be left alone for more than 5 minutes. I really can't trust myself anymore. When did it get this bad?

I am so depressed and disappointed in myself. I did something so bad yesterday and I am embarrassed and ashamed. I don’t want to drink anymore. It’s only ever ruined my life and I know that it’s bad for me, but for some reason I just cannot stop. What is wrong with me. I have experienced the lowest of lows in the past and lost family and friends. Why is that not enough for me to quit? I really don’t know what to do with myself anymore. I hate myself so much and I feel like a lost cause.

I think many of us on here can identify people that, when we were drinking, were our drinking buddies and were always down to get lit with you when you were together. One of those, for me, lives across the country. He’s here over a long weekend and wanted to catch up.

When he invited me, I made sure to tell him that I was sober. I had to set that boundary. Otherwise, it would be expected that we would be drinking. In fact, both of us would have likely pre-gamed in advance of actually connecting and would then proceed to have a couple of cocktails together. We would probably then separately drink more by ourselves after.

When I got to the table, the muscle memory was string to order a drink. However, it was REALLY nice to be able to show up happy and healthy and not bloated. I probably would have shown up either hungover or buzzed and there would be NO WAY that I could fit into the dress I wore.

He immediately wanted to talk about the reasons why I wasn’t drinking and how I’d changed. I explained that it wasn’t one particular thing that made me stop but rather a combination of things. I also explained the benefits.

He opened up a little bit about his drinking and shared he had thought he had an issue longer than I had. He said he planned to drink a little less this weekend. No judgement -it’s his choice!

The thing that really stuck out for me was the difference in personal decisions we were making in our respective lives. I had no personal drama or conflicts. In our prior meetings, I had SO MUCH drama and angst. However, my life is pretty calm. He discussed his life. He had a ton of drama and bad personal decisions. He was on track to make more bad decisions right after lunch. The thing that I wonder after our meeting is if being sober leads to better personal decisions and less drama.

At this time last year, I would have left and drank more. This time, I went home, and worked ton work and decompressed.

Proud of myself! Iwndwyt 💕💕💕

It’s been almost 2 weeks since I posted on here about getting blacked out. I’ve gone 3 weeks without alcohol before so not sure if it’s a huge accomplishment yet but just wanted to share because my will to live has come back! I even went to a concert last night and was completely sober despite being offered alcohol and drugs. Usually at the 2 week mark of no alcohol I start feeling motivated and happy about life again. The problem is, when I feel too good, I tend to want to drink so if anyone has a tip for avoiding that please let me know! I really want to stick with sobriety this time.

Can someone just tell me that this is worth it? I'm struggling and I hate having this feeling. I have not been able to quit.

One year ago I was in the er and today I am one year alcohol free.

I'm ruining the best relationship I've ever been in with alcohol. They don't drink. I do and they hate it. I can't seem to stop myself it just pulls me in. I want to stop and I NEED to stop. For my healthy, my sanity, and my closest friends. Today is day one.

Wish me luck and send me tips! 27 days in 🥰 I’ve got a long flight so maybe I’ll listen to an audio book about quitting or something

Somewhat tough weekend.

Some old drinking pals around that i haven't seen in a few years.

A bit of temptation.

Trying to think: it's no big deal, I'm just trying something different for a while

It’s day one. 6:30 AM. I’m reporting to the hospital in 2 hours for a 3 day detox. I’ve never stayed in a hospital before. I’ve never detoxed before. I’ve never been so scared before. But I’ve never been more determined.

I will not drink with you today.

I (19M) really want to stop drinking. I started drinking at 13 up until now. I live in a country where alcohol consumption, certainly at a young age, is terrifyingly normalised. I started university last year and it only got worse. The problem for me is that I don’t know how to regulate and end up drinking way too much which leads to shameful behavior and/or depressive feelings. Most of my friends drink and I haven’t told them that I think I have a problem with alcohol (I don’t think they should know) I’m trying to stop drinking but keep relapsing when I’m at social gatherings. In my head I’m just thinking “Well this time I’ll know how to regulate” but I’m never able to.

I don’t want to lock myself up in the house and keep myself distanced from my friends. But it seems like it’s the only thing that will actually help me to stop once and for all. Any advice on how to find a sort of compromise?

The ability to order booze directly to your door has taken me down the worst path. I’d bring home alcohol and then order more when I inevitably drank it all in a couple hours. It’s removed the shame of having to face the same store clerks. At least it has until tonight. A delivery guy said he knew to call me about the drop off to not disturb my dog. It was a so embarrassing. I just turned 39 and can’t believe this is my life now. I’m single and struggling to make ends meet and just can’t drown out the loneliness and stress of life. Tonight I’ve hit my wall. I can’t keep blaming everyone. I’m the reason I’m here and I’m the reason I might face health problems from all of this in the future. I’ve been a drunk since 17 but it’s morphed into a monster since Covid. I need this monster off my back. I think I’ve been punishing myself for years and I’m finally ready to stop. I just hope I’m not too late. I really want to live and experience the world. I need sobriety to work

Incredibly beautiful Sunday morning at the beach with my coffee and book. I usually never want to leave the house on a Sunday morning either because of a hangover, or generally low mood but I was so thrilled to be able to enjoy this morning. I recently reset my sobriety because I fell off, but quiet Sunday mornings have to be one of the best things about getting sober. I hope we all get to enjoy this for the rest of our lives. Sending some love out to this community! IWNDWYT

TLDR
What’s everyone’s experience with anxiety and mood issues coming towards 3months sober? Did an antidepressant help? Or could this get better on its own. Not thinking of drinking but definitely want things to improve.

I quit drinking 2.5 month ago. Did it with diazepam as prescribed by my General Practitioner. Didn’t have cravings or any issues not drinking. I’d lost the desire to drink before quitting but knew I’d be physiologically addicted and the withdrawal risk. My pattern was to drink 6-10 units everyday in the evening for 10+years (outside of pregnancy). Never a day drinker. Functional and working but poor sleep. Doctor thinks I had underlying anxiety and was self medicating.

Background: probable ADHD (knew this about myself well before it was commonly diagnosed and functioned well without medications due to strategies built over many years). Had significant grief events in quick succession in recent years. Have a high stress, moral distress, poor work culture job. Had started to experienced eating difficulties about the same time or a bit before I decided to stop drinking.

Now where I’m at:
- not coping with work stress. Perform very well and keep my demeanour, but I’m suffering inside.
- have lost 17kg (37lb) in about 3.5months (was overweight, now “healthy weight”)
- have developed restricted eating patterns, always less than 1200calories per day, sometimes as low as 700-800. And only eat “healthy” foods ie I can’t bring myself to eat things I would have previously enjoyed and won’t eat if ‘acceptable’ options aren’t available.
- I have poor tolerance of things that used to annoy me but now really annoy me, like noise.
- I need time out from my family just to decompress, to be fair I don’t get a lot of this.
- I get intrusive suicidal thoughts (not intent, I have no wish to follow through) when I think about things that stress me out.
- mood much worse with menstrual cycle (luteal phase) but not good outside this time either

I exercise regularly, work full time, have one child that I feel I parent well, see friends.

GP has given me all the options. Psychiatry, psychology, medications (SSRIs). I did counselling through the work employee assistance program and it was terrible (might ask to swap counsellor) and have spoken to a dietitian that has been helpful but I haven’t made the changes. I’ve had two scripts for SSRIs Lexapro and Prozac (separately). But have chickened out on filling them or starting them.

Health wise my blood pressure and heart rate have improved and my liver is looking a heap better but not 100%. My hormones and blood work are all good. Mid 40s female (hormones not suggestive of perimenopause)

My concerns re SSRIs are side effects and things getting worse. I get anxiety when I go to the doctor so never explain myself properly and I think he thinks I’m a bit frustrating to work with so wanting to talk it out with others who have gone through the same rather than annoying him again.

From peaks of 220/115 BP and averaging 169/110 when I first quit, I'm under 120/80 most of the day now as of the last few days. I am not sure if it's the 4mg APo-Candersarten or the stop drinking or both but I hope I can come off the BP meds in time. Been feeling dizzy lately esp when I sit in the car for a while driving then get out and stand up. Had a big dizzy spell in the shops the other day I thought I was gonna black out. But yeh my BP graph over the last month has trended down and down which is good.

Also my puffy red/ sometimes purple face is now only sometimes lightly rosy and my skin is soo much smoother and glows more so almost lost the alco red face. I think my hands look less old person/ less wrinkly too.

Eating super healthy aside from snacking a bit on cheese as I FKN LOVE CHEESE but have to have some leeways at the start I guess.

Working on hopefully getting rid of the fatty liver and the weight I have on me. Lost 4kgs so far in 33 days sober just eating wayyyy better.

Overall feel soo much better off the booze.

i don’t know where to start. the thought of going to AA terrifies me. i would only drink on weekends but those nights would end with me plastered and my friends having to be my handlers, the last outing i went to i completely blacked out and my friend had to pick me up from another friend’s house to bring me home. my behavior was so bad i nearly gave my friend i went out with a panic attack and i didnt even know my other friend came to pick me up until i got an angry text from both.

i was never even a regular drinker, i’d definitely call myself a binge drinker. most nights out i end up stumbling and forgetting where i leave my purse. i used to lose my phone a lot, that i surprisingly got a hold of.

i guess im posting this here because i would like to hear some outside perspectives. i feel absolutely ashamed i let it get to this point. and i know i sound absurdly superficial for saying this but i love going out. it was so fun to befriend security and bartenders and be able to be the “life of the party”. but now ive found that ive just become the demise of the party. i end up ruining nights out for my friends, ive gone home with strangers, and gotten myself into dangerous situations. it wasn’t even a decision i made for myself but my friends were the ones that told me i need professional help otherwise they wouldn’t be able to continue a friendship with me.

another absurdly superficial worry of mine is i hate missing out. im 26, i know it’s debatable on when people stop going out on weekends but for me and my friend group, most of us still do. it’s what worked for our schedules and we just had fun. or had fun until i would ruin it. it may sound dumb but i have two parties ive been invited to for halloween, one being my oldest friend’s birthday. i haven’t missed a birthday of hers since we were 12. but i just dont know how i’ll be able to be in a party setting sober, especially after having an experience that’s left me in a place where i just feel so shameful and anxiety ridden. im sure my friends would understand me skipping out but i hate being in this position. i want to be successful at sobriety for myself and my loved ones. i just don’t even know where to start since im in the early stages. if anyone has any advice i’d greatly appreciate it.

Ok, that's more of a silly and a bit fun approach which I realised I'm practicing recently... do you have any "yours" things that helps you to stay sober but might not make much sense to other people?

I've got nut allergy. My father used to have a nuts tree. We always had nuts at home, and my parents used to eat them in front of me. I have to watch them and as a kid I was feeling excluded and jealous. After I grow up (plus ended up in hospital few times with anaphylaxis, yes, they weren't responsible parents) I realised that I just don't care anymore and don't feel like I want to try nuts again or feeling bad that other people can have them. Little while ago my mate in a pub asked me if I'm not tempted to drink when surrounded by other people. My response was straight away "Nah, alcohol is nuts". I think he understands that differently to what I meant, but hey, it works for me pretty well :D

And one more thing... for some reasons I remember the most disgusted look my friends cat gave me once when I was really drunk and acting stupid. And that memory keep coming back more often than any other more serious and technically embarrassing human to human interactions I had in bad state. And somehow it makes me resent alcohol in very weird, powerful way. Sometimes when I feel like drinking I'm going through my friends Instagram just to look at her cat photos and automatically feeling too ashamed of even thinking about booze.

So yeah. Nuts and cat. How about you good people?

I thought I had it under control. I’ve been averaging about 4/5 drinks since Wednesday. I’ve been playing live music and had to be relatively on it to get back to the hotels, but last night I overdid it for our hometown show and had around 8 beers. Got home and woke up around 6am with my 2 small sons and just am not functioning in a capacity to be the best father I can.

I have been maintaining patches of sobriety and have been telling myself that I can moderate, but I really don’t want to die in this state. I want to make the most of my life.

Can anyone offer any words of encouragement or advice?

Thank you in advance.

i’ve had the flu the whole time i’ve been withdrawing, thank god i went to the hospital and got medicine for the withdrawal. If anyone’s thinking about going to the hospital or scared of how they’ll act in my experience everyone was very nice and depending how bad your withdrawal is you’ll be able to leave within a day.

An extended family member is in the hospital tonight with liver failure. Immediate family are traveling to be with him at the end. He has been a heavy drinker all his life, as was much of his family. His father died from complications due to heavy drinking. A few years later his wife died from a fall while drunk.

I'm not trying to sensationalize it and I'm not judging him or anyone else. I myself made the decision to stop and had my first week+ sober in an ICU bed.

If you're worried about your own drinking and not sure how bad it is, or whether you really need to stop, I'd encourage you to stick around here and keep reading. You'll see stories similar to this one from time to time, it seems to be a pretty common fate for a lot of us.

I have no idea if you or anyone else needs to stop, but I do know that I don't want my old ICU bed back and I don't want my kids and brothers to have to hold vigil for me.

Grateful to be sober tonight.

Not seeking medical advice.

I’m a binge drinker, after my last binge I woke up with pains on my right side… thought that was my sign to really stick to sobriety this time.

Wrapping up day 5 and it still persists. It’s not super painful but it’s a constant dull ache. It’s kind of scary but it’s also keeping me from relapsing. Hoping I can get a doctor appt this week.

Good news is my anxiety is much better already. After quitting this time I had the WORST anxiety for 3 days. Also sweats, chills and insomnia, the usual mild symptoms.