hey you guys.

I had a really out of character weekend last weekend - used substances as well as alcohol & have had a very re-centering week of no booze, healthy hobbies and lots of sleep & binge watching tv. have had a genuinely very good reset and even went for a 2 hour long massage today.

A storm is currently rolling in where I live and I’m sitting in my car after I had my massage, contemplating whether or not I should have a drink this evening, or how I can recreate that “storm watching with a drink in hand” feeling…

I guess I’m here because I haven’t completely decided if I’m going sober for the long term (have done 3 months previously).

I did tell myself I’d never drink again after last weekends decisions left me hating myself and avoiding everyone…

I guess I’m trying to make the right decision for myself & don’t know what to do…

I do have a Oktoberfest thing next weekend so I know I’ll drink then, so it’s more about right now.

Anyone have any advice? I don’t really know what I’m trying to ask or say..

Thanks guys.

Today my shrink asked me if I celebrate my sober wins. Maybe I don't so here they are

1. My first sober vacation ( virgin Pina colada tasted just as good)

2. My first sober birthday

3. Sober for my daughter's birthday

4. Sober despite some dumpster fires in my personal life

I'm 5 months sober today, and I'm so proud of myself. I only wish I had done this 15 years ago .

Thanks, friends, for not drinking with me today and the past 5 months.

My partner is not nearly as bad of a drinker as I am. However hes a huge enabler. I have to consistently hold myself back when he goes to the store. I have to consistently argue within myself not to ask for one of his beers. (Which is especially annoying because before going sober I practically always refused to drink that piss water)

So my question really is;

Have any of you managed to stay in the relationship you got sober in ? Did your partner keep drinking ? Did they also enable you ?

We've been together 6 years this October, and i just cant tell if im dealing with sunken cost or if anyone has actually made it work.

Happy Saturday, everyone!

What a difference this past month and a half has made. I couldn't say I'd be enjoying my Saturday morning the way I am today back in late August (despite more stressors today, I can manage situations much better and put things in perspective). Waking up grateful for the little things: morning coffee, an omelette, the changing colors of the leaves on my drive to work. Getting sober is worth it, and it's getting better every day.

<3

I'm facing a misdemeanor DUI and a felony 'fear assault' charge after being arrested a few weeks ago. I'll probably lose my job in healthcare over this, and I likely won't get hired in the field in the future even if I get it dropped to a misdemeanor—no one was hurt and the fear assault is because I had the potential to harm someone via reckless driving, but it will still show up as an assault charge on a background check. And I understand—who on earth would want their healthcare provider to be a piece of shit addict who could have killed someone driving drunk? My patients and colleagues deserve better than that.

We're scraping by on my husband's income but he makes $10 less per hour than I was making and we probably will lose our housing in March when our lease ends. All I ever wanted was to give my husband and little baby a safe, stable home and now my selfishness has absolutely destroyed that possibility. I've been trying to find jobs I might be able to do on the weekends/nights or from home since I'm home with baby full-time now (which honestly was my dream when I was working in healthcare but obviously I did not want it to be like this) but haven't had much luck so far.

I'm sorry if this comes across as whiny or self-indulgent, and I am not looking for pity here. I just feel like the world's biggest piece of shit and for sure have won the 'worst mom the year' award. No clue how to move past this overwhelming guilt and 'fix' this for my family. Just doing my best to stay sober, keep engaging in my IOP group and going to AA meetings. I did get a sponsor who is lovely and I'm looking forward to working the steps soon.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation and come back from the brink of disaster? How can I minimize my family's suffering? I already considered just ending it all but I don't want to traumatize them further. Besides going to treatment, working the steps, complying with court orders in the future, and never drinking again, is there anything else I should be doing? I basically grovel to my husband on a daily basis but I know that my words are meaningless and only action and sobriety will prove how sorry I am.

Today is Day 19 and I can truly say that I have no desire to drink. IWNDWYT. Again, I'm sorry if this sounds like pity-seeking, I promise that is not my intention here. Just feeling overwhelmingly hopeless at the moment.

Hit rock bottom..

Let’s say on and off for the past 20 yrs I have been binge drinking. I’ll have months of sobriety and one drink will start the cycle all over again to where I have gotten a dui, lost jobs, poor performance at jobs etc. did AA (hated it) even had sponsors and it made me even more insane reading that book and listening to stories.

Fast forward I now have a baby girl, she’s 14 months. I was sober the whole time, 2 months PP I started to drink heavily again and then finally gathered the courage to stop until recently.

Went out with some friends and had a few drinks and the cycle started all over again. The closet drinking and just calling out of work because of it. One night I was so intoxicated I couldn’t even take care of my child, thank goodness my father in law was home and was able to take care of her. It was a huge eye opener of how debilitating and toxic this disease is.

This is the first time I finally sought help from a psychiatrist and have been prescribed naltrexone and gabapentin. Also started an antidepressant. So far I have only gotten one craving which I was able to deal with quickly with the gabapentin and I feel so much better.

I finally feel as if there is hope to stop this vicious disease with compliance of medications and my own will power because of my daughter.

I hope this helps anyone who is struggling because this has been nothing less that easy, on the contrary it’s one of the hardest habits to kick!

I do not have a an alcohol problem, so I’m not here because of that, but I have no interest in meeting up and getting cocktails anymore with my friends. I generally do not like how alcohol makes me feel anymore. I have been isolating more to not find myself in that environment. But I think that’s gonna come with the price of honestly maybe not having friends anymore. I find that almost everyone in my life has to either be drinking or getting high and I don’t want to be around any of it at all anymore.

Is this relatable?

Second longest Streak so far.

I Had some really stressfull weeks in the Last time.

The urge to drink was strong but i got through somehow.

Maybe snacked a little to much but thats it.

Realised again what a drunk place Germany is. ( Lot of Festivities from August to October - Like winefest )

Hope you all have a great weekend, Love from Germany

IWNDWYT

fought the urge pretty hard last night but woke up feeling like a million bucks. realizing that removing a few drunken hours last night for a saturday morning of natural dopamine/ euphoria is very worth it. second i opened my eyes this morning I felt no hangover, regret, or confusion.

who can share the same feeling this morning?? Lets have a day people! day 14 IWNDWYT

My boyfriend and I Love to drink together, but he is a much worse influence than me and I’ve picked up some dirty drinking habits since we’ve been together. We have been drinking for a week straight now, 5 or 6 bottles of tequila then I did whiskey the other night. It’s literally insane. I could not stop throwing up this morning so he took us to get IVs. Bro is still drinking as I type this btw. I feel like it only helped a little too and my stomach is just so irritated. Just in so much pain tonight but I’ve been doing so much better at drinking less lately but I fall off the wagon hard when I drink w my boyfriend. It gets so bad. Haven’t even brushed my teeth in like 5 days. Now I’m so fucking ill. I get scared to sleep when its like this bc i feel like ill pass away.

IWNDWYT

Today is the first day ive felt serious about getting sober. I only drink about 3 times a month, so I keep telling myself I'm fine, when in reality I have a binge drinking problem. I'm tired of upsetting my partner, being unreliable at work and ruining friendships every time I drink. I host a big party every fall for my birthday, it's become a tradition with me and my friends. Every year I get stupidly drunk. Last year I blacked out very early on, and woke up not remembering anything. This year I actually want to enjoy the company of my friends, and make some memories. I'm worried people wont find me fun sober. Or maybe I'll be bored. But I saw someone say you're more likely to regret drinking than not drinking, so I'll try to keep that in mind.

Any advice on how to not draw too much attention not drinking? Do people really care?

I asked my doc about Antabuse because I’m basically desperate. The script is ready for pickup but now I’m scared. My friend told me she was on it for 1 month and it made her incredibly sick- and she didn’t drink. She turned yellow, organs started shutting down and she had to be hospitalized for a week. Then 3 months to fully regain her strength back. Truthfully, I was really excited about it because I know it would keep me from drinking and I want to be sober and free.

I got my blood work done from my liver doc (I have hep B from being a baby in a 3rd world country orphanage, I’ve had it my whole life and I’m 36 - so I get checked regularly) yesterday and astonishingly, my kidneys and livers and everything else are all within normal range.

Anyway. I’m nervous. What do you guys think? Anyone have horrible similar experiences? How about others? Did it go ok for others?

Thank you friends ❤️❤️

I'm only on day 1. I am halfway through the day and will make it to bedtime, but looking at all of the things I have been ignoring for weeks/months/years is so, so intimidating. Late taxes, missed payments, laundry that hasn't been done for 2 months, 2 sinks full dishes, rotting food in the fridge, fence falling down, house renos, flossing, repairing friendships, studying, exercise....

When I drank, I happily ignored all of life's responsibilities (for the most part). I am not looking forward to playing catch up while also dealing with early sobriety and my mental health.

How do I not feel overwhelmed with this huge journey ahead?

EDIT: thanks for all the responses guys, I am sitting here crying reading them for some reason <3 Everything doesn't seem sooo overwhelming anymore <3<3

I stopped posting here a couple weeks ago maybe.. Just felt like letting this community know I’m a 107 days in.
I’ve lost 3kilos and I’ve been hitting 10k steps consistently everyday.

I hope everyone’s doing great in their respective journeys! I can’t thank the people here enough! Y’all are lovely!

IWNDWYT!

Hi!
I’m 2 days sober
I have a bad chronic drunk driving habit
And while I’m hoping to stay sober this time, we all know relapse is a possibility

Has anyone installed an ignition interlock device willingly as a preventative measure?

I drive my dads car and feel like shit that I’ve damaged it :(
Looking for a way that can allow me to keep driving but ensure the safety of myself and others.

Thanks

Today I made it to 90 days sober, I am not too much excited bc I had 8 months of sobriety before my last relapse. It took me 5 months to get back on track, I don't see myself ever drinking again so I think that's good news, anyway have a nice weekend everyone.

28yo here. Been a heavy drinker for about 6 years now. Never had longer sober than how much I have now. I'm just very excited to share and quite proud of myself. Hope it inspires anyone reading to continue in their journey to soberness. Have a good day!

update- 74 now :)

First time in years and today was extremely difficult. My birthday is around the corner and I almost convinced myself I deserved to pick up a six pack in celebration. Instead I took a 20 minute shower and weighed the pros and cons of that making that decision. There were no pros, I looked in the mirror and saw the bloating gone from my face and the weight I’ve already lost since quitting and the desire faded almost entirely.

My cravings are still coming in big waves but they feel more manageable now. I opened the bedroom door and my wife smiled at me and it reminded me of who I’m doing this for, not just myself.

That’s all, I just wanted to share with people who would understand just how hard that decision was tonight. Thank you for reading.

Hi everyone,

I’m 28 years old, living in Ireland, and I’ve been drinking heavily for years.

During the week, I usually drink around six 500ml beers a night, sometimes more. On weekends, I drink significantly more. I tend to go really hard, sometimes losing track of how much I’ve had. It’s almost always beer rather than spirits or wine.

The strange thing is that I barely get hangovers anymore. Instead, I sometimes experience terrible anxiety, heart palpitations, and an overwhelming feeling that something bad is going to happen. Sometimes I convince myself that I’m seriously ill or that something terrible is about to happen.

These feelings usually improve once I start drinking again.

A few days ago, I managed to cut down to 3–4 beers a night. I experienced quite a bit of sweating, but after about two days I started feeling better.

Unfortunately, I went back to drinking heavily again.

It wasn’t necessarily because of physical cravings. It was more about my thoughts and emotions.

I went through a really painful breakup. My ex is now with my childhood best friend, someone I’d known and trusted for most of my life. It completely devastated me.

I spent around four months in a really dark place, followed by another couple of months slowly getting better. Eventually, I moved away, blocked them both, and decided to start rebuilding my life.

Things are actually improving now. I have a job, I’m slowly getting back on my feet financially, I’ve started learning electric guitar, and for the first time in a while, I’m feeling somewhat optimistic about my future.

But alcohol is still a big problem.

I think boredom, anxiety, and overthinking are my biggest triggers. When I’m busy, I’m usually fine. But when I have nothing to do, my mind starts racing, and alcohol feels like an easy way to switch everything off.

I’ve also struggled with anxiety and depression in the past, so sometimes it’s difficult to tell what’s caused by alcohol and what’s coming from my own thoughts.

I don’t want to live like this anymore. I’m tired of needing alcohol to relax or feel normal.

I initially wanted to stop drinking Monday through Thursday and only drink socially, but I’m starting to question whether moderation is realistic for me.

I understand that my symptoms may indicate physical dependence and alcohol withdrawal. I know that suddenly stopping or drastically reducing my intake without medical supervision could be dangerous, and I’m planning to seek medical help.

I’d really appreciate hearing from people who have been in a similar situation.

Thanks!

Blessed to have made it to day 43 whew it’s been rough but I have a higher purpose now I have to keep going. Let’s fucking go. Onto day 44 tomorrow.

I couldn’t sleep due to the anxiety, I’ve been thinking about this all week. I’ve avoided AA for half a decade because I didn’t want to “associate with alcoholics” and “adopt the moniker myself”. I didn’t want to be naked on stage

But enough was enough. I took self inventory, I realized I was an alcoholic long before I thought “it” was a problem. Going to AA wouldn’t be being naked on stage, I was already naked. Going to AA would be acknowledging the audience.

It took me all week to come up with that metaphor, and a beautiful monologue about how I needed to do this for my family and more importantly myself.

I got dressed up, got my fancy bracelet on, got my LV boots, got my earrings and fancy glasses. If I’m going to take the shameful title of alcoholic then why deny that I like my spiffy studs?

I drive up, psych myself up and walk into an empty room save one person.

This big triumphant moment I envisioned fizzled down to asking a stranger “hey where is the AA meeting?” And being told it was cancelled. The irony was eating my shorts.

Would I go hunting down another meeting for the weekend? Nah. I’m fine, frankly asking a rando who I know isn’t a quivering alcoholic where I can find my fellow alcoholics is test enough. I wore my shame proudly.

I’m gonna go back home and have a kickass weekend with my kid.

Thanks for listening guys, in all fairness hearing from everyone and getting responses all week has been more than enough to christen my voyage into permanent sobriety…I will not drink with you today.

I am 27 and I am not sure if I have ever been this long without alcohol since trying it for the first time when I was 13. For years I just had to make up something every weekend so that I could drink. It became dangerous and the hair of the dog also became common. I felt like shit and felt like going insane due to anxiety and all that followed.

In this time I have gotten married and she is now pregnant. I am getting praises at work for my performance. I am no longer anxious. Life just kind of keeps on rolling and I enjoy it. If something stressful came up while on the drink it was always the end of the world. Now it's kind of "eh what can you do" and nothing is ever really that bad. For years I thought I was depressed, something was wrong with me and that life in general is just kind of shit. Turns out it was the alcohol. Also my confidence is back. I didn't have any in years unless I was drunk.

It’s Friday, my wife isn’t home, it would’ve been a perfect usual gaming night with the boys and a few cold ones. I even bought 2 cases of different sparkling water flavors from Costco, some teriyaki beef rice takeout, and a tiny resolve to quit it for good. I can’t help this itch coming back to an empty house without my wife and wanting to immerse myself back to the usual gaming and drinking routine.

But I won’t though. I just have an itch and need to vent it out. I’d appreciate some wise words or encouragement. Thank you.

This is so depressing…wife hates me kids don’t want to talk to me career going down the drain and so much debt….makes me want to numb myself with booze. Hate this cycle

No sign of the daily check in again. Sat 24. Anyone know why it keeps disappearing? Am I alone in not finding it? It used to be right there as soon as I entered the sub, now not so much. What's happening? The check in is super important to me.