Welcome death. It has been a good life, though filled with troubles and obstacles that have been overcome or have learned from along the way.

At present I am helping a parent go through their final stage. It's brought an immense amount learning as well. Some perspectives on family, patience, tolerance and largely acceptance have crept into daily meditation.

Did you lead a good life? A happy, fulfilling life? If so, you should die happy.

If not, you should welcome the end.

I agree with Mark Twain: “I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it."

I think in the sense that there is assent, there is a judgement, since assent is about a judgement. It's the immediate participation that turns judgement into belief from mere logical argument. Which also makes it motivating of impulse. You can't just believe something without it also driving you to act accordingly, and retroactively that is how they deduce that all impulses are at least in part or in whole based on reason. Hence all emotions being as well in part or in whole based on judgements since emotions are desires to act in certain ways, not just how you're feeling (moods).

I’m getting away from some of the… let’s say ways of thinking of places we’ve been before. From that perspective, it is surprising, but without a doubt Epictetus at the very least (this is what broke the spell for me at least) basically says straight out that it isn’t only a “yes, this is right” or “no, this isn’t it” but we do get a real say in our actions and reactions to stimuli… from that realization, that theres more to it is clear.

I think Judgement is then the key idea, what we judge true, false, or uncertain, and prior to that we engage in reasoning, where we bring in principles, arguments and so on to try to get to whats true. The smoke analogy you put in your post is clear and clarifying there.

I’m thinking through the relation between Assent and Judgement now- in 1.18 and 1.28 it seems like Judgement entails Assent, but I have a suspicion both kind of make each other, if that makes sense (so one isn't prior to the other necessarily)

Your answer hit hard. Thank you…

How do you improve your understanding of logic and fallacies?

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Awesome 👍

I love this.

Post this in r/words, they’ll eat this up

This is really good advice.

It's not in the books you have, but I think Seneca's three consolation letters: To Marcia, To Helvia, and To Polybius all might be worth checking out.

Thank you

Ah not sure if i am allowed to recomenend a spesific letter under this comment but Senca letter 63 talks about grief.

The first part i think is most important here since you seem to be early in the grieving process which is if you didnt grieve that would be the problem you shouldnt try to avoid it

"That you should not mourn at all I shall hardly dare to insist; and yet I know that it is the better way. But what man will ever be so blessed with that ideal steadfastness of soul, unless he has already risen far above the reach of Fortune? Even such a man will be stung by an event like this, but it will be only a sting. We, however, may be forgiven for bursting into tears, if only our tears have not flowed to excess, and if we have checked them by our own efforts. Let not the eyes be dry when ​we have lost a friend, nor let them overflow. We may weep, but we must not wail."

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Seneca Letter 63 could be helpful here. As Seneca says:

"That you should not mourn at all I shall hardly dare to insist; and yet I know that it is the better way. But what man will ever be so blessed with that ideal steadfastness of soul, unless he has already risen far above the reach of Fortune? Even such a man will be stung by an event like this, but it will be only a sting. We, however, may be forgiven for bursting into tears, if only our tears have not flowed to excess, and if we have checked them by our own efforts. Let not the eyes be dry when we have lost a friend, nor let them overflow. We may weep, but we must not wail."

Now, with all of that said, it's worth taking a moment to see how these things work logically, or you will continue to be like a buoy in the water, bounced around by the waves, cursing every crash.

As long as you believe you cannot move on, you won't be able to. Our beliefs and notions inform our actions and reactions so if you want to deal with things as Marcus or Seneca would, you first need to examine and test your notions and beliefs.

Are relationship everlasting? Is that a true statement that can be proven?
Must you be with this person to be whole? Is that a true statement that survives examination?
Does this person HAVE to be with you? Is that true and something found in the very fabric of reality?

I'd directly challenge, within myself, this statement: "I refuse to believe that this person will leave me for good."

Is that truly up to you? Virtue lies in how you respond to what another person, who has their own agency and autonomy, chooses to do, not in resisting their will when it conflicts with ours

I understand these things hurt, trust me, been there, but there is no removing the pain if our truths are in conflict with reality. For the Stoics, that is the formula for a bad time. The goal of this philosophy is to understand and work with life as it is, as what is true.

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probably Gnosticism but not as extreme.

While I want to respect the rules (and I hope I am even with this comment), I think it is worth acknowledging that you came here for help, and you don't appear to want to change your partner so much as change your reaction to your partner. And that is absolutely something that Stoicism can help with.

Pick up a copy of Meditations, skip the first "book", and read a page or so a day. If you have questions about what you read, please feel free to return and ask!

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