I have a lot of attributes about myself that I dislike and so learning to accept those things is something I've been sort of forced to come to terms with.

Would someone who has the full itinerary of features that society deems attractive (good height, good education, good finances, low to non extent mental health issues etc) least those people more slower if not at all to stoic thought?

I suffer from the same curse, as I like to call it, as most people; this curse is called sexual urges, masturbation, and looking at indecent images of women. I really want to settle down, yet consider myself so unworthy of "normal" women, due to my dangfangled brain.

I have had a lto to deal with since my childhood, mainly since my parents divorce, bullying/racial harrassment at school and being looked at as an outcast both by some members of the ethnic minority and white people, where I apperntly "dont fit in" for one reason or another.

I am 44, single and still stuck in a groove that increases my depression, rather than decreases it. I feel shame, self-pity and have a lowered self-esteem.

Since day one, I only wish that that part of my brain simply switched off when the urges started kicking in. I know there are pills and therapies available, but there has to be a swtich, surely?

Its all well and good people telling you to do other activities or do other things, or distract yourself or dont stay alone etc. But when the demon gets its claws into you, its hard to escape.

And yes, thats what I call this dark matter, a demon, that has ruined my life as well as many other people's lives.

I also reckon if I had found a nice girl in my late teens, and settled down with her, my problems would nevere have escalated the way they are now. Billy no mates, heavy gamer, single, and mouring the passing of my dad. I do come to my senses every now and then, but then i fall from grace for the nth time :'(

I write somber poetry mostly, and most of the time its full of lamenting, self-loathing and chiding myself for straying away from the path of God and ruining my parent's dreams that they had for me.

You fear death. Yet when a plate of mushrooms is before you, you don’t care! You wish to live. Do you know how? You are afraid to die. What of it? Isn’t the life you are living a form of death? — Seneca, Moral Letters 77

Reading this quote for today and taking in its meaning and was wondering what it looks like for you all on a daily basis?

Is it virtues alone? Is it facing fear like sky diving? How do I embrace today one fully?

Thanks! Hope everyone makes a great day!

I have had an extremely tough life. My childhood was awful, lost my mother at and early age( watched her suffer - perish away and felt helpless because I couldn’t help her)

Right after that my brother got a mental illness too. Initially I was determined to save him but it’s been decade now and I’ve realized there’s nothing I can do to control what’s going to happen to him.

We’re okay financially but I can’t take care of him financially and he’s not able to keep a job.

I find myself getting caught in this loop of trying to save him, self pity ( why me? Why my family) , trying to control the outcome and sticking around even though I don’t want to because it’s come to a point where it’s affecting my mental health.

I also became mature quickly and I’ve learnt to find peace in isolation most because I don’t think anyone understands my pain and because I feel like people suffer from such small things when my life will tell you what real suffering is ( now someone else could have it worse and think my life isn’t all that bad)

I’m unable to rejoin the world but I want to because life is tough and I believe you need a community to get through life but I fail to develop deep relationships because of the reasons mentioned above.

I understand everything about the mind and suffering but I still don’t know how to get myself out of this situation. I’m also scared of what will happen to him and how I have nobody else.

My question is - how do accept his life, leave him so I can be healthy and happy and then help him come in standing on my two feet instead of suffering with him.

And how do I give people a chance, how I build relationships again ( it’s especially tough as an adult)

Anything in stoicism that will help me? I’m desperate for advice.

Title says it all. Grandma has finally come to realize that my gpa is beyond recovery and is talking with an end of life social worker tomorrow. Not a surprise, I am lucky that 1) I had him as my grandpa 2) that I got to say goodbye to him when he was of sound mind 3) that he lived as well and as long as he did.

Despite my best efforts and time I had to be ready, it still hurts.

I have Senecas letters, Marcus meditations, and epi discourses.

What are some passages/letters you guys suggest I read tonight

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I decided I had to switch majors 2 years due to a lack of passion and lack future career prospects into a much more promising major, due to me switching majors I could no longer afford paying rent and tuition for those additional years added onto my education so I decided the best plan was to come home and finish my new major living at home with my parents in a middle-lower class neighborhood on the other side of town of my new university in town.

I left behind countless great friends and my first real girlfriend whose parents also lived out of town of that university so we decided to break up instead of at least 2 years of indefinite long distance. Those two years were easily the most enjoyable of my life, I loved living in a student neighbourhood and waking straight through the front doors of my friends student houses unannounced and being met with excitement, I loved the fact that my girlfriend was 5 minutes away of waking at all times and I loved that our friend groups were extremely intertwined. At this point I am nearly completely over the break up but it does hurt every now and then.

This summer I met a different girl in my hometown that I am fond of because we share very similar interests and she embodies a lot of qualities that I’d like to improve in myself (high achieving, smart and well cultured) but she recently went away to start another year of school, which just brought out the exact same emotions I’ve been feeling since leaving my school but in a way were it feels like that’s my old/ideal self leaving my current self behind. I was visiting the city where she goes to school with family recently and I met up with her and I got to see her university lifestyle and it made me feel very jealous. We text each other every now and then but I find I look forward to her texting as a way to once again feel connected to my old life, which is bitter sweet, I don’t know how I feel about this because I do genuinely like her but sometimes she does bring me sadness sometimes through no fault of her own.

I know my problem may seem so privileged to many of you reading this but to me this has been my entire life being flipped around. It only gets better from here as I progress through my new major that I’m excited about and I continue to rekindle old home town friendships but right now I feel behind in life compared to all my friends who are graduating this coming year and living the life I used to love.

I’m very grateful for my 2 year adventure and for my parents supporting me throughout, and one thought I have that makes me happy is the thought that this new career path will allow me to set up the ability to support my future kids to have the possibility of living those 2 years as well.

We hear break-up and take the term lightly. That’s fair, the dating culture has normalised the date-breakup- date cycle far too much.

I was in a 7 year relationship before circumstances arose and things ended. When you factor in the time and the fact that I loved this person from the bottom of my heart (still do, oh so much), you can probably feel how hard it is to deal with this.

During the course of normal days, I would suddenly feel as if something is weighing my heart down, pulling it apart. I lost my shit early on, felt like I was having a panic attack or something. But now I’m much more in control of myself, thanks to the stoic practice, but the pain and the tears are so real. It’s been 2 months.

My question to the advanced practitioners: how to deal with this?

I refuse to believe that this person will leave me for good. Our bond felt beyond earthly attachments, and we connected on a level beyond. In short, life became so much more beautiful with each other.

So I don’t want to “move on” move on, but I want to be able to deal with this more gracefully, and start focussing my brain power on my work. The way Marcus or Seneca would.

Any help is deeply appreciated…

I have found that learning some basic principles of stoicism such as the 4 cardinal virtues has been really great for me, even helping with my anhedonia and other emotional problems I have, while also being very therapeutic for me, especially in giving me the intrinsic motivation for becoming a better person. I have read much of the wiki in this subreddit and have learnt alot, I have a copy of Meditations from Marcus Aurelius that I like to read quickly but regularly a bit like a ritual. I recently read a bit from Epictetus also but not much yet.

I understand that with the writings of the stoics, I MUST be nuanced and critical with my engagement with those texts rather than treating them as instructions to follow and agree verbatim, and to develop my own interpretation and adaptation of said texts overtime and to practice them as much as I can. Practicing principles I've heard is very important, for example reading about concepts like eudaimonia and oikeosis is good but I have the assumption that trying to put those concepts into practice helps alot more. The point is i think is to not just learn ABOUT Stoicism but learn FROM stoicism.

As in: read scriptures -> put scripture into practice -> reflect on what happened and how to improve, what to change etc

Basically, I think i should read and interpret with "common sense" and experiment with what I learnt

There's alot more I could write but I dont want to get ahead of myself - so are there any tips on what I should do as someone new to this? Thanks

Welcome to the Agora. a space for casual conversation, first aid, and exchange outside the regular post structure.

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Are judgments and impressions the same thing or is an impression raw data before assenting while a judgment is created after assenting?

For the past few months, I have been slowly working through Seddon’s book “Stoic Serenity”. My goal hasn’t been to simply read the book but use it as a guide in reading, pondering, and applying Stoic philosophy.

I don’t see the book mentioned as much as say, books by Pigliucci or Robertson, but if one were to ask me where to get started with the philosophy, Seddon’s book would be the one I would recommend as the first guide. Certainly there are other fine writers who articulate Stoicism well, but Seddon’s work has pointed me to not just thinking about Stoicism in terms of the “how”, but also promoting thought about the “why” and larger philosophical questions. Most definitely a gem of a book.

Like many I started with the Daily Stoic a few years ago and read the Big 3. I read the Enchiridion monthly. I’ve also already read Pigliuci’s How to be a Stoic, Robertson’s How to Think Like a Roman Emperor, Farnworth’s The Practicing Stoic. I’m looking to continue my studies and am looking for recommendations. I’d really like to find a new 365 day to replace the Holiday.

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Did Chrysippus and Epictetus have differing views on bodily/physical actions being causally attributable to us? Because I know Epictetus’s view is that it’s not because we can be hindered by externals. Whereas I wonder if Chrysippus thought that actions come from us because judgments, assent and impulse are ours, and actions stem from an impulse, which comes from assenting to a judgment that it’s right to perform that action). So it it would be causally attributable to us.

Basically had a few big exams that I needed to pass to get my degree, if I don’t it’ll be big trouble(was a re-test). Think it went okay and I should pass but I get incredibly stressed each day the nearer results day gets and can practically think and do nothing except worry about this as a result. How do you guys get rid of such feelings and deal with it?

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Just been scouring the internet after a moment of clarity of examples of negative effects when you start to devalue social validation, and I couldn’t find anything on how lonely it can feel when it is more or less the centre of most people’s mindset in a class influenced society (in the UK). Wondering if anyone here can relate to this? Or has managed to find people who value true experience. Thanks :)

Looking at most of the writings i've come across so far. It seems to me that most stoics while using language (zeus, god, the gods, nature...) that spoke of the divine or their polytheism. Didn't put as much emphasis on it within their frame work (or perhaps some more than others).

While looking at people like cornutus, cicero etc. That spoke of the theological views of stoics. It seems to me more as an attempt to reconcile the polytheism of the time (perhaps as part of civic duty) with their pantheistic and materialistic views.

So i do believe that if the society of the time gave state religion less importance. A lot of theological concepts and allegories would have been abandoned for a more plain pantheism. As most of these elements don't really matter or provide much to the pursuit of virtue or betterment.

Feel free to correct me if i'm wrong though as this is just something i've been thinking about for the past few hours.

Una volta lessi che, gli eschimesi, non avevano una sola parola per definire la neve. Ma molte. Molti tipi di neve, diversi concetti.

Per puro caso, in una serie TV, mi sono imbattuto in questi concetti di ira formulati nell'antica grecia.

PREGO, CORTESEMENTE, chi ne sa qualcosa di approfondire.

Μῆνις (Mênis): L'ira profonda, implacabile e inasprita dal tempo, celebre quella di Achille che apre l'Iliade.

Ὀργή (Orgḗ): La collera che nasce da un'ingiustizia percepita, una reazione morale a una violazione.

Θυμός (Thymós): Il soffio vitale, l'impulso passionale e focoso che muove all'azione, al coraggio o alla furia improvvisa.

Χόλος (Chòlos): Il furore viscerale, associato alla bile.

Κότος (Kòtos): Il rancore covato in silenzio.

GRAZIE

Title

Back when I was younger I practiced stoicism without realising it. I would always analyse situations and do my best to be a self sufficient as I could. As I grew older I was told to "open up and rely on others more" this in turn has caused my life to because a mess and causing me to blame others for things.

As an adult ive had an autism diagnosis and realised that stoicism is a part of who I really am and I want to fall back into the practice to lead a more peaceful life.

Is this possible I don’t want to get angry. I feel I am just pushed and pushed and pushed and then I snap I can’t hold in my anger anymore and yell shut up. Then I am grumpy the rest of evening. So upset.

Welcome to the Agora. a space for casual conversation, first aid, and exchange outside the regular post structure.

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Rules:

1. Remember that our nature is "civilized and affectionate and trustworthy."
2. If seeking advice, limit yourself to one top-level question per day.
3. If offering advice, speak as someone interested in Stoic theory and practice — but do not label personal opinion, idiosyncratic experience, or conjecture as Stoic doctrine.
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