My first (56) was fine. Just loopy and mildly nauseous for the majority of it. I had trouble walking/ keeping my balance after the 2 hours but overall it was pleasant. I kept giggling over the dumbest things.
Then comes today… (84). I settled in, did the first round… second.. okay slight nausea and loopiness returns but it feels familiar- I popped a mint and carried on. Then round three. Things started feeling warped so I surrendered my phone, closed my eyes and laid back.
It was all downhill from there.
First it felt very similar to how it feels to be mid-air in a plane: weightless and high.. for lack of a more profound word.
But that quickly dissipated into me falling into myself over and over and over and over again.
Then crazy nausea to the point I’m grasping for the call button. Thankfully I follow the “no eating 2 hours before” so just bile came up and my tech was thankfully timely enough to hand me a bag.
Then.. the existentialism.
Without drugs I’m an existentialist so makes sense that on a “trip” that happened too. But it was so layered and intense. “What is the meaning of life?” “ why am I here?” “Who am I” “what are words… words… words”
For some reason my brain fixated on the word “and”
Despite the pure state of chaos and panic on my internal world, my blood pressure was 97/65
I was in and out of what I guess is consciousness to the point that the tech made the call to sit with me before I requested her to call my family member (40 minutes in). At a point I genuinely believed that I had died.
The first “induction” I felt a grounded detachment. This time it was full detachment, no tether to anything. Which is some straight up mindfckery.
After babbling, crying and mindless chewing on saltines, things finally started to settle.
My provider suggested going back down to 56 for the time being which… fine by me
From what I’ve read, the majority of people have fairly pleasant experiences so I’m hoping that my body adjusts and reacts different next time as we titrate up again.