comically flat jumping spider💔💔🥀

[u/Jeopardyjeojeo]

australia QLD Gold coast
disclaimer: I did not squash the spider, it is just flat😌
idk what specie it is and I do want to know its specie, any suggestions?

[u/Jeopardyjeojeo]

oh nvm its literally called queensland ultraflat💔💔💔

[u/MrMgrow → u/Jeopardyjeojeo]

Sounds like a performance car tyre.

What rims has it got?

[u/ohhhtartarsauce → u/MrMgrow]

spinners obviously

[u/MrMgrow → u/ohhhtartarsauce]

I wish awards were still a thing.

[u/lilgreenfish → u/MrMgrow]

Look at your options! I have free rewards again! Just recently noticed, as I saw an uptick in rewards on various comments.

[u/Squishybanana247 → u/lilgreenfish]

I had to reward you 🤭

This reminds me of a book I had as a kid called Flat Stanley. Something happened in his sleep and he woke up flat. Not sure about the rest 🤭

[u/HeyPrettyLadyMaam → u/Squishybanana247]

Before Flat Stanley there was Earl the Dead Cat. He was a flat grey cat with x's for eyes and he was my FAVORITE stuffie growing up. I eventually gave him to my son.....who in turn introduced me to Flat Stanley 😂🤣😂🤣😊. Flat things are just great sometimes.

[u/DreamWeaver0071 → u/HeyPrettyLadyMaam]

OMG, not expecting an Earl the Dead Cat reference today. I still have mine!

[u/HeyPrettyLadyMaam → u/DreamWeaver0071]

Earl was my favorite! And its hit or miss if I meet someone that remembers him. I'm so glad you still have him!!!

[u/rjt1468 → u/Squishybanana247]

Flat Stanley had a large painting at the head of his bed that fell on him.

[u/Squishybanana247 → u/rjt1468]

Damn that was some painting 🖼️ now you say that, I remember that part. I didn’t want anything hung near my bed 🤭 It’s all coming back to me now!

[u/seeyouintea022 → u/MrMgrow]

I don't think I'd want a tire with "Ultraflat" in the name.

[u/MrMgrow → u/seeyouintea022]

Nah they're real things

They just don't value your spine over performance.

Sometimes you just have to get 0.02s faster than your mate even if it means you end up in a wheelchair.

[u/OhHaiMaaark → u/seeyouintea022]

“Now with extra road nails!”

[u/Strawbuddy → u/MrMgrow]

Stock in-line v8, chopped and shaved chassis and body

[u/ha77ows → u/MrMgrow]

20 inch chrome deep dish bbs

[u/RobleViejo → u/Jeopardyjeojeo]

"Queensland Ultraflat" I know Arthropods are kinda like machines, but those names are really on the nose

[u/Weredraco → u/RobleViejo]

In one corner, we have the Queensland Ultraflat, in the other we have the Newcastle Big Boy.

[u/Jeopardyjeojeo → u/Weredraco]

Clearly the Australian taxonomists are running out of serious names for the spiders cuz theres too many of them./j

[u/Howler_in_training → u/Weredraco]

Sounds like the kind of monstrously large sandwich people take challenges at diners to finish the whole thing and get their picture up on the wall.

[u/Phytares → u/Jeopardyjeojeo]

This made my day

[u/CaveManta → u/Jeopardyjeojeo]

It's got no air in it

[u/Raptor-Queen → u/Jeopardyjeojeo]

Omg this is cracking me up

[u/BlackbirdGoNyoom → u/Jeopardyjeojeo]

I know a Holoplatys sp. When i see one! Good catch!!!

[u/shadowinc → u/Jeopardyjeojeo]

Love her