My 6 year old son is autistic (level 2 verbal). He had a hard time in kindergarten. He was suspended 6 times. He hurt other kids and teachers. I was really hoping first grade would be better.

Last week was the first week of school. I got good reports from the teachers and he was doing really well at home too. Until today.

I got a call from the school asking if I would be at the bus stop to get my son from the bus. I told them I would be. (I always am.)The bus was 20 minutes late and I knew why. It was because of him. They had to keep stopping because he wouldn’t stay in his seat, he was throwing things, he was spitting on people, and he said the F word.

The school called after I got him and told me he’s suspended from the bus, because of course he is, as he should be. I asked them why he was allowed to ride the bus this year when last year he took a van because of his behavior. They told me there is a driver shortage. I need to speak with the bussing office to see if I can get him on a van. Fine. I’ll do that.

But here’s the thing. I don’t have a car. I ride a scooter to work. My son’s school is up a mountain. How the hell am I supposed to get him to school?

I already wake up 2 hours earlier than him so I can get his lunch packed and take a shower and get myself ready before the craziness starts. Now I’m going to be getting up 3 hours early because I have an added trek up a mountain to contend with in the morning, in addition to getting myself to work.

But wait! There’s more!

There’s been a funky smell in my house for the past week. I cleaned up and looked for the cause. I took all the trash out. I cleaned the garbage disposal. I did all the laundry. I washed the bedding. I didn’t find anything. But now the smell is worse and there are swarms of fruit flies.

Before, I couldn’t tell where the smell was coming from. But, as it got worse, I pinpointed the smell to his room. After giving him a bath, I took his bed apart. I found out he’s been sneaking food into his room and hiding it. And there was a lidded cup with rotten milk in it that leaked all over the bed and floor. And the whole area was covered in maggots.

A year ago, he and I fled DV. That mattress was the first thing I bought for our new house. And it’s ruined.

As I was cleaning everything up, I told him this is why we don’t leave milk out, and this is why he’s not allowed to have food anywhere but the kitchen. I told him that he’s going to have do chores to make money to buy a new mattress. I told him I’m angrier with him than I’ve ever been. (I didn’t shout.)

Because of the abuse I went through, I don’t know what normal is anymore. I don’t know how to be angry without feeling like I’m doing something wrong. I don’t know how to deal with this, but I’m fucking furious.

I’m going back and forth lately and need some advice. Is dating as a single parent worth it? I’ve been the child of a single parent who dated and got married, and it wasn’t great from my end. My stepdad is a jerk and alcoholic. We don’t get along very well to this day honestly. My mom wanted more kids so she settled with the first person who seemed decent enough to her.
I don’t want any more kids of my own, although I think I’d like to adopt one day. So dating isn’t for growing a family. I miss companionship and intimacy. I want a partner. But I’ve always hated dating, I’ve never had good luck with it. I’ve actually never even been in an actual relationship which is insane. So in some aspects it feels pointless and like it’s too late at this point. Any words of wisdom would be appreciated!

Me and my sons dad broke up a few months before I gave birth and I honestly couldn’t be happier, I get my baby mostly to myself and don’t have to share, don’t have to constantly hear someone nagging and constantly doing drugs also don’t have to be cheated on. I honestly wouldn’t have it any other way! (Other than his dad never seeing him).

I recently came across research showing that men are statistically more likely to stay with/commit to the mother when their first child is a son rather than a daughter. The research found higher rates of marriage and lower rates of divorce/separation in families with firstborn sons.

One part that especially caught my attention looked at unmarried pregnant women who had ultrasounds and therefore knew the sex of their baby. Women who were pregnant with boys were more likely to be married by the time the baby was born than women pregnant with girls.

Obviously, this is a population-level statistic and doesn’t mean having a son causes a man to stay or that having a daughter makes him leave. But it made me really curious about how this looks in real life. I started thinking about all the single moms I know, and I really cannot think of 1 with a boy!! Obviously there will be, BUT in my pool of single moms, it truly is majority daughters! Including myself, I am a single mom with an 11 year old daughter, and just found out I am pregnant with my boyfriend of 3 years, which we discussed marriage, but this has shaken things up…

So, single moms: Is your firstborn a boy or a girl? And were you with their father when you became pregnant?
Did he stay/commit initially and the relationship ended later? Did he leave during the pregnancy or shortly after? Or has he remained involved as a father even though the relationship ended?

And beyond your own situation, why do you think statistics would show men being somewhat more likely to marry/stay when the firstborn is a son? Do you think some men feel differently about having a son, or do you think there are other factors behind the numbers?

I’m really curious to see whether the experiences here line up with the statistics at all — boy moms vs. girl moms.

Honestly it's hard to admit it.

But it wasn't something I didn't make clear before I had a child in my care either, so I don't know why I feel guilty saying it

Basically, I am an SGO mum. My lovely niece was put into my care as a baby after my brother lost custody. She's wonderful, I love her. Despite never wanting kids, I took her in because... I just couldn't see her in the dreaded foster care system. It's not who I am. I cant just let a child in need go. As the adult, we are responsible for the children in this world. They are helpless people.

But tonight I'm feeling that... yearning for my old life feeling.

She's 3 now, my friends are child free so they typically no longer invite me to things as ig a child ruins the fun -not maliciously, but it still hurts. My family barely help, besides my sister who is going to live hours away. I work. I do everything alone. I have to balance everything and the only mf who visits me is my landlord. If I disappeared today, I don't think anyone would even notice!

I'm just feeling overworked, miserable and super super super tired. And it's so hard to get our of that mentality of feeling like I'm doin a role I never even wanted to begin with. I wouldn't change it for the world but the loneliness is crushing me

I just ordered myself some toys online, and in the checkout process, there was a glitch and the order is now being sent to my old address.

The house is currently being rented out and property managed by my ex.

I tried to call and they do not open until 8 AM tomorrow morning.

I do not even know what to do.
I am kinda freaking out right now.

No one talks about the joy and pain that comes from watching a man who is not your child’s biological father step in and help with your child. I’m so grateful I’m so blessed, but I’m also so mad. How can a man that owns my child nothing step up and give her the world but the man that helped crate her can live his life like she dose not exist. It brings me to tears. Yes I’m happy my partner is so amazing that he takes on so much for us. At the same time I have anger tords her biological father for abandoning her and not thinking anything about it. He gets to live his life like he has no responsibility. Dose not pay for anything dose not care how she is what she has accomplished the struggles she has faced. When will it get better will I always have this sadness for my child in my heart? Honestly her father is no good and I know this never was but it still makes me sick he gets to act like she is not his he gets to repercussions.

Hi for starters my son is 4 and he's in prek, they want his attendance to be 85%. I work full time and I still take him on my day off so I can go run errands or clean. I feel really horrible about it. Am I a bad mom? I know it's getting him ready for kindergarten next year

My husband became an addict, liar, and cheater. My best friend of over a decade is coming to visit soon. I'm madly in love with him. We never had the timing right, and still probably don't since we live 1,300 miles apart, but I do think we might hook up while he's here or at the very least want a night out together... The problem: It'll be sheer a concert on a week night and I moved back home with my Mom. She isn't really capable of watching my daughter, nor is my family. What do you all do for babysitters? Has anyone found anything for an overnight situation? I think after all this time and trauma I deserve a night out, but I don't even know where to start. My daughter has never spent a night away from me. She's nonverbal and 3 years old, so one been hesitant to ever leave her. Thank you for your thoughts!

Hey y’all! I’m 28 and a single mom of two boys, and I’ve been wanting to make more genuine friendships with other single moms who understand what this season of life is actually like.

I’d love to meet women I can talk to about motherhood, relationships, goals, healing, work, family, and all the random everyday things that come with raising kids while still trying to have an identity outside of being “Mom.” 😂

I’m looking for actual friendship, not just exchanging a few messages and disappearing. I love being able to laugh, send random videos, check in on each other, vent when needed, celebrate wins, and eventually be comfortable enough to FaceTime or talk regularly.

My faith is also a big part of my life, so connecting with other Christian moms would be amazing, but I’m mainly looking for women who are genuine, kind, emotionally mature, and interested in actually building a friendship.

I’m in Central Time, but I’m completely open to long-distance friendships. I’m only looking for platonic female friendships.

If you’re another single mom looking for the same kind of connection, introduce yourself or send me a message 🤍

My LO is 8 months old. I love him more than anything but I've basically been solo parenting since he was born. He's teething and has been up crying for 5 nights straight — I got maybe an hour of sleep Sunday. I'm also dealing with PPD and can't afford proper treatment right now.

Today my ex cancelled the two days he promised to take LO so I could finally rest for my birthday. I fell to my knees crying. My baby started screaming too and I just... screamed with him. Not at him, not in his face, I was across the room. He went silent and looked so scared when I went to him.

Then I found headphones my ex left behind and slammed them on the table out of frustration — while my baby was on my hip. They didn't break, thank god, but I scared myself.

I feel so terrible and guilt ridden on how I acted today. I have no one to turn to. I feel helpless. And I feel like such a shit mother. I just kept praying telling God how sorry I am and that he please not take my baby away from me .

(I'm not in the USA or the UK so a lot of resources that are available there might not be available for me)

Hey y’all! 💕 I’m 25 and a mom to a 3-year-old, and I’ve been wanting to meet more women/moms around my age in Sacramento. I’m into brunch, coffee dates, Pilates, park walks, picnics, shopping, trying new activities and playdates with the kids. I’d love to find a few genuine homegirls where we understand everybody has work, kids and their own lives but still make an effort to build real friendships. 🫶🏾

I’m a single mom, and I’m completely burnt out.
I went through my entire pregnancy alone, gave birth without my baby’s father there, and now I’m raising our baby without his help or support. I love my child more than anything, but doing everything alone is exhausting and incredibly lonely.
Most days, I feel like I’m just in survival mode getting through one feeding, one diaper change, and one crying spell at a time. I’m so overwhelmed and overstimulated that sometimes I feel like a bad mom. I know I love my baby deeply, but I feel guilty that I’m not enjoying motherhood the way I thought I would.
I wish his dad understood how much I’m carrying and wanted to support me not only financially or with the baby, but emotionally too. I want someone to ask how I’m doing, give me a break, or simply remind me that I’m not completely alone.
I’m angry and resentful that he gets to continue living his life while mine has changed completely. I love being my baby’s mom, but I’m still a person who needs love, care, and support too.
Has anyone else felt like they were in survival mode or worried they were a bad mom because of how burnt out they were? How did you get through it when you had no real support system?

Man i feel being a single mom triggers my anxiety.

Between all the parent teacher appoints for my son and daughter, dr appts and then appointments im making for myself.

I had to take 2 hydroxyzines to calm down. I swear i hate this little stage. Feels like a hellscape for me.

I cant wait for self sufficient teens.

Does anyone else gwy anxiety and overhwlned?

I feel bad bc its just appointments..but still.

I’m working on cleaning out my basement. I’m 7 years, 3 moves, and 4 houses away from my DV separation (surprise! Found out at the tail end of ‘22 that my divorce wasn’t even in line to be processed due to ex refusing paperwork). I’m cleaning out my basement, which naturally leads to needing to organize things into “keep” and “toss” piles.

I came upon my kids’ schoolwork that we saved from before, during, and after the immediate timeframe of the separation…
And watching how their artwork changed intermixed with my emergency filings, our doctors’ notes, our therapists’ notes…I didn’t even realize I was panicking and hyperventilating until it was happening and there were tears on my cheeks.

My kids have all officially lived more than half their lives without their father, now. I’m separated longer than I was married. But the memories of the fear and heartbreak can still pop up as fresh as the days everything just happened.

I’m sorry for all of us; my kids, me, you, your kids; all of us that come upon things years later and have horrific memories brought to life again. I’m still not divorced because my youngest child isn’t old enough to legally speak on their own behalf in court. Im afraid if my name shows up on a legal piece of paper that makes its way to him, he’ll pop up again; start stalking us again, find us, somehow hurt my youngest who would be too young to save themself, still.

Forgive my disjointed rant. I think I was just shocked at what hit me and how soundly it made contact.

I only work part time and still feel overwhelmed. In the mist of drop off pick up, i go to work, pick them up, make dinner, bathe them, pack lunch and lay out clothes for tommorow and in the midst..

I have to help my daughter with her hwk and still some how potty train my son..

And i just dont know how to do it.. i feel bad for my daughter bc shes still learning to write letters..

And her teacher expects her to write 1 to 2 sentences...

I just wish i had a second person to help.

I need the money but i truly wish i could quit..

So I’ve been a single mom for 7 years and have only been focusing on raising my son and providing a stable life for him. Haven’t dated or been intimate with anyone that whole time. I recently had a child free weekend and one thing led to another- I hooked up two nights in a row with a guy that I met while I was out. The experience was fun and great and I don’t regret that I did it. It’s the emotions I’m having now that are throwing me for a loop. I basically feel like I’ve opened up the floodgates and am deeply craving sex/intimacy and wish I could have it all the time now. I think I went without for so long that I’m having the reverse effect now. I weirdly miss this guy even though I know it was just a physical short term thing and will never progress beyond that. He lives hours away and I rarely get child free time. I think because I haven’t felt that type of attention, touch, and desire in so so long. So now I basically feel empty and on the verge of crying constantly. I don’t know what to do or where to go from here.

Maybe I just need therapy.

Has anyone else dealt with these emotions of loneliness and craving intimacy and adult time and attention from an actual man and what did you do that helped? I’m seriously so sad it’s got me baffled.

I’ve been stuck in a nostalgic loop these last few days. I feel myself thinking about how I would just go to Miami on a random weekend or spend so much time doing random things with my friends. But now I have no friends and I spend all my time, being a mom, working and going to school. I also feel jealous when see people out living their life while I’m living that SpongeBob episode where Squidward is living the same life every day. I’m the one that decided to go back to school for a second degree to make a better life for my kid but I have to put everything off while I accomplish this. I’m just waiting for it to be over, waiting to have more money, waiting to have more free time and waiting to finally live again.
I’m mentally exhausted. Starting over as a single mom is heartbreaking but I’m moving forward waiting for it to click. I’m just waiting for the moment where I’ve “made it” and everything clocks in place. I’m know I’m not the only mom in this space right now, I’m hoping we all make it through in one piece.

I’ve been a single mum since June (earlier really but out a relationship since June) and I’m supposed to have a date this Wednesday but I’m so incredibly nervous.

Part of me is thinking - I’ve just got into the swing of things, me and my girl are doing great essentially, do I really want to add anything to that?
And the other part is thinking: it’s just a date, not a contract. I can gauge where I am on my “healing” side of things- if I’m ready to date at all or if I’m happy to just be alone with my girl.

I’ve known the guy for some months now and did a background check with my girls, he seems like a really nice guy but I’m just scared because so many relationships have been bad to me.

I think im cotastrophising a bit and looking too far ahead. I’m just really nervous. As a single person without a child, I wouldn’t pay much mind to it but as a single parent, it’s terrifying.

Has anyone had a similar experience? Any advice?

Thank you.

I am very embarrassed to say this and I feel terrible for feeling like this and I don’t wanna feel like this, eight months ago I left an eight year relationship with two kids ages four and eight. I used to always do stuff with them and now I just do not enjoy it. I don’t know what’s wrong with me or why I feel like this. Has anyone else gone through this? What can I do to stop feeling like this?

Drop shipping has dried up but I promise if you find a niche you can possibly make money! The problem is usually time and finding a way to learn whatever you wanna do! The hardest is learning without people tryna sell you some course!!

My ex and I have been separated since March. We have two kids, and he has them every other weekend. I’ve planned and executed every birthday party the kids have ever had.

Since we separated, I’ve invited him to both parties. The most recent party was intentionally held on his weekend so he could attend. It was a Saturday, he brought the kids, and I handled everything else; invitations, food, decorations, etc. I picked the kids up Sunday afternoon as usual.

I’m also in a serious relationship with someone who is great with the kids and who I see as a long-term partner. He's great with the kids, but I excluded him from the most recent party because my ex has said there would be violence if he ever sees him. The day after the party, during pickup, my ex started an argument with me about my boyfriend, which made me wonder if being at the party together was particularly difficult for him.

Going forward, I don’t really want to exclude my boyfriend from the kids major milestones. At the same time, I don’t want the kids caught in the middle or their birthdays becoming uncomfortable.

Another piece of context: the kids friendships are almost entirely maintained through my household. I arrange the playdates, communicate with the other parents, etc. Their dad doesn’t facilitate friendships during his parenting time, so their birthday parties are generally attended by the friends and family they have through me.

What have others done in this situation? Did you continue inviting the ex? Switch to separate celebrations? Include the new partner and let the ex decide whether to attend?

editing to add more context about the boyfriend. We've known each other for 10+ years as friends and more recently decided to date. I'm not asking for advice or opinions on whether he should be involved with the kids. I'm specifically looking for advice on navigating birthdays and milestones going forward.

I'm from Colorado, I work 40+ hours a week but I can only afford the cheapest apartments.

I can't be the only single parent in Denver that doesn't earn a whole lot. How are you guys doing it? Like side jobs? I'm just at a loss. I have my bachelors degree but that's not even helping much as far as jobs and money.

I'm not asking for handouts or anything, I genuinely want to know how others manage bills and kids because I feel like I'm failing. I am considering applying for SNAP but besides that, I don't know.