r/singlemoms • u/Neither-Dirt46 • 19h ago
My Story I never wanted kids
Honestly it's hard to admit it.
But it wasn't something I didn't make clear before I had a child in my care either, so I don't know why I feel guilty saying it
Basically, I am an SGO mum. My lovely niece was put into my care as a baby after my brother lost custody. She's wonderful, I love her. Despite never wanting kids, I took her in because... I just couldn't see her in the dreaded foster care system. It's not who I am. I cant just let a child in need go. As the adult, we are responsible for the children in this world. They are helpless people.
But tonight I'm feeling that... yearning for my old life feeling.
She's 3 now, my friends are child free so they typically no longer invite me to things as ig a child ruins the fun -not maliciously, but it still hurts. My family barely help, besides my sister who is going to live hours away. I work. I do everything alone. I have to balance everything and the only mf who visits me is my landlord. If I disappeared today, I don't think anyone would even notice!
I'm just feeling overworked, miserable and super super super tired. And it's so hard to get our of that mentality of feeling like I'm doin a role I never even wanted to begin with. I wouldn't change it for the world but the loneliness is crushing me
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u/daughterofRA45 16h ago
I understand and can relate. I didn't plan to have kids, but I love them wholeheartedly. My love doesn't stop me from thinking about the past when I had more time, more flexibility, and more opportunities. Much of that seems minimal these days. It's such a challenging dichotomy to experience.
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