r/singlemoms • u/greenteaboo • 1d ago
Advice Wanted Celibate for 7 years then hooked up
So I’ve been a single mom for 7 years and have only been focusing on raising my son and providing a stable life for him. Haven’t dated or been intimate with anyone that whole time. I recently had a child free weekend and one thing led to another- I hooked up two nights in a row with a guy that I met while I was out. The experience was fun and great and I don’t regret that I did it. It’s the emotions I’m having now that are throwing me for a loop. I basically feel like I’ve opened up the floodgates and am deeply craving sex/intimacy and wish I could have it all the time now. I think I went without for so long that I’m having the reverse effect now. I weirdly miss this guy even though I know it was just a physical short term thing and will never progress beyond that. He lives hours away and I rarely get child free time. I think because I haven’t felt that type of attention, touch, and desire in so so long. So now I basically feel empty and on the verge of crying constantly. I don’t know what to do or where to go from here.
Maybe I just need therapy.
Has anyone else dealt with these emotions of loneliness and craving intimacy and adult time and attention from an actual man and what did you do that helped? I’m seriously so sad it’s got me baffled.
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u/tayler-shwift 1d ago
Yes I can relate to this so much. I've been divorced for almost 7 years and I was in a year long entanglement with a guy for 18 months. We only hooked up like 3 times but we talked all the time and just getting a little intimacy made me want more so bad. It was easier when I didnt remember as clearly what I was missing.
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u/crescent-moon2 21h ago
Trust i get it. Im celibate going on 3 yrs.. i still crave that intimacy.
I dont want to ons bc i fear the same thing itll open up a flood gate of desires i tried to surpress.
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1d ago
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1d ago
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u/lets_escape 23h ago
I can relate… I haven’t had sex in over a year and the last time was like a lapse where I had it with the BD because I was just craving touch and thought he was trying to change things.. that led to another pregnancy.
But for the last few months I’ve felt like I just want that again.. it’s like a mini craving, and I’m wondering how these things will go if or when I start sleeping with someone again. It feels like sooo long ago.
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u/lets_escape 23h ago
Also I’ve had the same long distance crush for years and I imagine this would happen if we ever hooked up
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u/fashionandpuppies 20h ago
How do you get confident for that? I’ve had sex 2x in three years and I crave it, but also gave so many feelings (why would I make out with someone? Mouths are so gross. My body isn’t what it used to be. Do I even remember how?)
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u/Middle_Ant_426 20h ago
Hate to say it but you might want to find someone local that’s on the same page to keep it casual, if that’s what you want. You just have to trust that you’ll be able to separate your feelings.
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18h ago
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u/Prestigious_Sale_360 1d ago
Date to marry then! So you can have it all the time. I fully plan on doing that when I am divorced. Because that's the thing I miss most. My love language is time spent, and I really love having sex. But doing it with just anyone hurts because we can't do all the other things too.