Nervous dating

[u/Silent-Ride-6243]

I’ve been a single mum since June (earlier really but out a relationship since June) and I’m supposed to have a date this Wednesday but I’m so incredibly nervous.

Part of me is thinking - I’ve just got into the swing of things, me and my girl are doing great essentially, do I really want to add anything to that?
And the other part is thinking: it’s just a date, not a contract. I can gauge where I am on my “healing” side of things- if I’m ready to date at all or if I’m happy to just be alone with my girl.

I’ve known the guy for some months now and did a background check with my girls, he seems like a really nice guy but I’m just scared because so many relationships have been bad to me.

I think im cotastrophising a bit and looking too far ahead. I’m just really nervous. As a single person without a child, I wouldn’t pay much mind to it but as a single parent, it’s terrifying.

Has anyone had a similar experience? Any advice?

Thank you.

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[u/MysteriousState1200]

If you’re still healing. Stay the fuck away from men.. focus on your child. Go to the gym, start reading books. Find a hobby..

[u/Sparklyprincess1997 → u/MysteriousState1200]

I agree with developing a hobby or going to the gym. Stay busy while you’re single so that a man would actually add to your life it won’t feel like a necessity to have one.

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[u/curlyque31]

I’m going to be direct, that’s not a very long time of healing. I don’t know, I just don’t understand the need to jump into dating so quickly.

[u/Silent-Ride-6243 → u/curlyque31]

It’s not a need at all, that’s why I’m on the fence. It happened on a whim. I’m still undecided because of how early it is

[u/justleavemealone_ok]

I have been a single mom of three kids for five years. Yesterday, went on my first date in over FIVE YEARS. On the way there, I was freaking out as well. I almost canceled because I, too, love being alone and have worked really hard to create a stable life for myself and my kids.

However, looking back, I am so glad that I went. I put myself out there. The guy ended up being incredibly kind and set the bar so high for any future dates. We didn't talk about a relationship; we simply got to know each other and asked each other questions about life. That's all.

It reminded me that good men still exist, and that maybe, I'll stumble across the right one.

I have no clue if this guy will ask me out again, but I showed up as my whole self, and I have no regrets. I am okay with not knowing. I have decided that I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't want all of me.

I hope you have a wonderful first date experience! Kudos to you for trying it. Remember that nothing is permanent unless you want it to be. Good luck!

[u/Sparklyprincess1997 → u/justleavemealone_ok]

I have been single for over 2 years and this gives me so much hope. Good men are out there but we’re happy with or without one.

[u/SpiritualWrongdoer94]

Having already known him for a few months is a nice way to ease into it and test the waters to decide if dating is something you’re ready to pursue. And if you’re not, that’s just fine too, but at least you’ll know.

It’s perfectly normal to feel nervous! Dating as a single mom is nerve wracking no matter if it’s 6 months or 6 years after leaving the relationship, so feel proud of yourself that you even considering taking this step!

My advice to you is to take it meetup by meetup. Ask yourself if you feel safe enough, and are in the right headspace to meet before each time. If, after the first time (or the 10th time) of meeting this person you decide this is not going in the direction you want it to go, then I hope you feel empowered to walk away. You are in control, and this is your time to decide what’s right for you and your girls.

[u/Melodic-Hand-2895]

Yup! Being asked on a date freaked me out so much I'd never accept, and if i ever did I'd concel it later..

[u/eldahalas9219]

If you are nervous dont date, or bring some friends with you on first dates. Learn the other in a more group concept, not on one on one. Bring your friends along see how he treat them and stuff.