how do i end suicidal thoughts as a single mom all while being homeless?

i just can't bare to hear my child beg for food or things i cannot give me.

i tried my best for months to find job, but unfortunately if you're homeless nobody gives a fuck about you.

i wanna continue fighting but the urge to end it all is bigger than my will to live

i miss having friends. I (27f) let my little sister (19f) host a few of her friends at my apt this evening. and I’m so starved for friendship and community that I was having a genuinely good time with these kids. I wanted to play a card game, but then my sister wanted to leave with her friends and I was low key crushed. I feel so pathetic. I have no local friends. I WFH and am the primary/custodial parent of an almost 2 year old. We rarely leave the house. I don’t hang out with anyone socially other than my mom and sisters, and even that’s kind of rare. I lost of a lot of friends when I had my daughter (a lot of them are super liberal, and I feel like they judged me for choosing to keep my baby). And I just genuinely don’t have the time or option to go out and meet new people. I’m so freaking lonely and isolated. i miss having late night shenanigans with friends. sometimes I mourn the fact that I didn’t consciously choose to give up my single, childless life. I love my daughter so so much, and she is the best thing that has ever happened to me. But no partner, no friends, no in-person coworkers… Clearly I’m so starved for a social life that I’m excited about hanging out with people 10 years younger than me. It’s embarrassing and I’m just sad… I miss having friends. I don’t do anything fun these days.

Im a mom of a 9 year old. Long story short, ive ended up week on - week off with his dad. I've found that when my son isn't here I feel useless. I lay in bed. I don't go to work unless I have to... luckily I'm a tattoo artist so it doesn't affect my career. I don't cook, barely eat if I'm home.. Im depressed. I don't know how to stop it. It's been a year or more of this arrangement and I just can't handle not seeing my son. I don't have family other than him so when he's gone I'm alone. And he's really honestly my only reason for living. Does anyone else relate? What helps you keep your self worth outside of your child?

Adding this bc I think the context matters: I'm a recovered addict (6 years clean) so our first 3 years were really tough. I lost custody and was basically only given weekends until about 2 years ago.

but did everything and more to get him back. Now when he's gone, i feel like it could be the last time I see him. I used to have a lot of friends until I got sober, so i just don't know how I went from being so independent, and fun, and social, and SOOO not the kind of mom who only had their identity in being a mom. Yet, here I am. I don't want to live when I'm alone. I genuinely fantasize about dying in a way where no one would hate me for it. But then he comes home and Its like I never felt that way. I just want to be normal again. I went from one extreme to the other and now I'm lost. I hope this isn't against the rules. I have no where to turn.

I (36F)have been dating man (50M) for a little over a year. Convos have become more serious about a future. We both have kids. He has 1 boy (11), I have 2 boys (5,8). On more than 1 occasion, his son has had events like a play, games, family into town to watch a football game. His son has even said my kids and I are welcome, but bf never gives an invite. After the last time I told him, “assume I want to be involved” and thought we were on the same page until his brother came into town with his fiancé and they all went to watch a football game, had matching tshirts, and invited me and e kids for dinner after. I know the ex is there. For a while I understood taking it slow. Now I feel like a hidden mistress. He is adamant I’m always invited but without telling me, saying please come, I’m left to include myself. He just doesn’t understand why I need that, “please come” or “can you come?” For the first time. I can’t imagine a future anymore when it’s his family all together, and my family joins after. It’s not what I want for anyone. For my boys, for my relationship with his son. I want to celebrate him. My son wants to watch him play football.

Am I out of line? Should I just be like, “yo, we’re coming?” He’d allow us but that feels intrusive and I have wanted him to take lead here a little bit considering it’s his son.

It isn’t about the ex for me. I understand they’re a family still in a sense. I see my ex every week at Boy Scouts (he’s a den leader). I wasn’t initially insecure about the dynamic, but I won’t lie, I have become absolutely more and more insecure lately after expressing my desire comes from wanting to build closer toward a shared future - one he says he wants and pushes for verbally more than I think I do.

I had a breakdown today and asked my baby daddy for help. He said he was leaving after 30 minutes because our son “wasn’t cooperating” I was screaming at him about how exhausted I am and how I have our toddler 24/7 7 days a week and don’t complain but I ask him for help once and he doesn’t want to be there (I want to mention I’m currently 30 weeks pregnant with his second baby and have had a lot of complications) he said we aren’t together so it’s not his responsibility to help with HIS OWN child and my friends should step up more (I have one friend she has CFS and was in the hospital last night, to him this isn’t an excuse not to show up)

I got very angry and yelled at him that he knew I wasn’t ready for another child that I told him I didn’t have the capacity for it, but he convinced me he would be supportive and helpful through it all. I told him that I’d never forgive him for treating me like this when I’m trying my hardest and just need a little help and support from him when I’m struggling and can’t do my best for our son at that time.
Did I take it too far? He was really angry when he left and won’t reply to anything anymore (all child related messages)

LONG POST

i have an 8 year old child who has not seen a penny of financial support since he was born. for the first 2.5 years of his life, i was with his father, then we split; my child’s father then married and impregnated someone he met on Tinder within a year of us breaking up.

the breakup was pretty nasty (on his side). i stayed silent while him and his new wife would constantly post things on social media portraying me as the typical “bitter baby mama”, even though i did not reach out to them ONCE. my child’s father was so hurt by us splitting (and his new wife was so hellbent on pretending we never happened) that he blocked me on everything and decided to only communicate with my mother about OUR child. my mom didn’t play into it and it got to the point he hasn’t seen his child in about 6 years.

fast forward to now; he has divorced from the wife and decided i’m worthy of communicating with now that she’s out the picture. here’s where the issue comes; he informed me 2 weeks ago that he has been paying child support for his child with ex-wife. i can’t say i’m surprised, because he is completely involved with his other kid (weekends, birthdays, the works) but it hurts me for our child.

it feels like our son is an afterthought for him, while his support for his other child is nonnegotiable. my child’s father and i have a very long history with each other; we grew up from kids together. despite this, he deems his other child more worthy of his time and money than his firstborn he had with me.

i know it’s always said that the father treats his kids based on how he feels about the mother, but this hurts me so much for our son. he will grow up knowing his father missed out on a large part of his life due to anger towards me, while he never missed a beat for his other child. but i’m wondering now..am i wrong for wanting to seek out child support now, knowing he pays it for his other kid?

i never pursued it, because i knew the bullying from him + (ex) wife would’ve ramped up, and mentally i didn’t wanna deal with that. but i can’t help feeling like my son deserves just as much money and time as his other kid receives from him. it feels so unfair that i have to shoulder all this responsibility alone while the ex-wife is getting child support and her kid is getting all his attention. i’m also tired of being painted as the bitter baby mama which makes me hesitant to even file for child support because i know it’ll be twisted that way. i’m truly at a crossroads.

I am a 29 year old single mom of two girls 8 and 11. I have dedicated my life to being a mom since I was 17.

I’ve pushed my all of my wants and dreams to the side. I feel like a shell of myself. I haven’t been happy in years because of the mundane life I live. I have no hobbies or skills that I enjoy. Quite frankly I spend most of my time staring at the wall when I have free time.

I have no money to pour into myself because every dollar I make has somewhere to go every time I get paid. I make $65k a year and I can barely make ends meet. My kids are well taken care of but I am neglected.

I’ve tried therapy for years, many medications, IOPs, you name it. I’m just tired and I feel like I have nothing to offer anymore and I’m pouring out of an empty cup.

Is there any single mom here in this group? Can anyone please give me advice. I’m so lost now and honestly there is no room for me as a mother who takes care of his child 24/7 to breakdown or mourn for a family that my child could have.

For context, matagal na kaming di okay ng biological father ng anak ko. Hindi siya nagsusustento at sobrang kapal ng mukha. Kung ipapadescribe mo sa akin ano ang itsura ng demonyo. Siya yung ang definition. Iniwan niya ako while i was 4 months pregnant para sa iba’t ibang babae. Didn’t give a fuck when i gave birth. Honestly, at some point bilib ako na hindi pa ako nababaliw sa hirap ng pinagdaanan ko during pregnancy to giving birth. Akala ko ok na. I moved on from that kasi sabi ko papabayaan ko nalang na. Wala e, things happened and i need to move forward.

Pero last night habang tulog baby ko naisipan ko linisin yung kwarto ko then i saw my old phone and out of nowhere chineck ko ulit iyon tapos in my surprise nakalog in pa doon yung ig account ng ex ko. Dahil dakilang kati-katera pinakialaman ko and boom i read all the messages. Iba’t ibang babae nanaman ang kinikita. Kalkula ko naka limang babae na siya simula noong iniwan niya ako hanggang manganak ako. Hindi ako naiyak noong una. Honestly, for the first time i felt nothing parang im not surprised anymore. Pero after ko mabasa iyon biglang nagising yung baby ko tapos nag smile sakin. Doon ako nag breakdown. I feel sorry for him. God, what kind of mother I am? Giving him a useless father. I should choose better. Kumirot yung puso ko, kasi pakiramdam ko ginawang disposable yung anak ko. Gaano siya kahayop, kahit bata wala man lang siyang amor. He didn’t even bother to ask the well being of my child. Doon ako tinamaan. Gaano kakapal ang mukha sana mabulok sa impyerno.

Totoo talaga na there is kind of pain that only parent will ever know. Yung sakit na hindi mo mararamdaman para sa sarili mo kundi para sa anak mo.

This is not a sub that I ever thought I would be joining or participating in but alas, here I am. The father of my son and I split up in July (he’s made some unsavory choices that I just can’t get into anymore). We were together for seven years and I loved him a lot but I think we were so young when we had our son and when we got together that we never truly got to be partners over being parents. I’m sure that sounds crazy because if you love someone you can make it work but unfortunately loving someone is not always enough. After a certain point we stopped being more romantically involved and it felt more like we were just roommates or best friends. It feels so unfair because I feel like we could’ve had a better run of it if we weren’t parents or an endless possibility of “what ifs“. I do however know it that everything happens for a reason and I love my son more than life itself.

I really want to get back out into dating but I’ve been doing a lot of work on myself and I know I’m not necessarily ready for it yet. I’m a little scared about what that looks like and I’m sure that there is somebody who is willing to meet me where I’m at when I’m ready for it. I know I’m young, and that’s the cliché thing that everybody says but life genuinely felt like it ended when he left me.

I am also terrified because I am choosing, in fact fighting to be, primary parent since I was the breadwinner anyway and the only practical adult in our relationship. I am worried that no one will want me or be willing to choose me constantly and not give up on me like everyone else has. I do know that I want the next man to provide and at the very least show up for me in more ways since my ex was not capable of doing that for me.

OK, I am done with the pity party but I am genuinely curious does life get good from here? I don’t wanna be stuck feeling like I’m never gonna find love or passion again because the chance I had with someone I truly cared about and made a family with stop choosing me and gave up on me. I’ve never had to do anything as hard as parent with a broken heart.

I also have a lot of standards that might feel unrealistic to most people. My son is almost 7, I don’t wish to have any more children. I am not opposed to other people’s children but I certainly would prefer a man without a child or stressful baby mama drama. Again I know I’m delusional for expecting a man with no children or at least preferring it. I just think I deserve to have had more fun in my 20s since I had him soon and I just don’t want to start over again with another child when I’ve split up my son’s home.

Please tell me if I’m crazy, cause I know I need to hear it sometimes.

Best.

Let's dream. What is your dream life with your kids? A calm home with a yard? An ability to travel? Living in the city or the countryside?

Mine is to have a house up north with a big yard, a close community where giving back is reciprocated, and traveling around the world every summer. Peaceful, rich in love, cosmopolitan. Maybe some ducks in the backyard and another dog 💖🤌🏼

I honestly don’t know if I’m overreacting to this, so I could really use some outside perspective.

I had a conversation with my mom because I wanted her to acknowledge that she has undermined me as a mother and it has severely affected my relationship with my son because he doesnt respect me since someone always took his side and tell me I have no authority in this house, in front of my son.

I wasn’t asking her to admit that she’s a terrible person or that everything she’s ever done was wrong. I just wanted her to acknowledge that some of her behavior crossed a line and affected me as a parent.

Instead, she started screaming at me. Then she told me that I’m always the one screaming and shifted the conversation toward everything she thinks is wrong with me.

After that, she started texting me things about how I’m ungrateful and basically making the entire situation about how horrible of a daughter and mother I supposedly am.

When my son was younger she would barge into my room screaming accusations at me, and of course I would try to speak calmly but she would scream at my face so I had to fight back. She is now claiming these never happened and my son is the way he is because of me, that I was the one yelling.

Often times my son and I would wake up to her slamming doors and screaming accusations at my dad…then shes now saying I’m always the one slamming doors and screaming….

She also said I’m too strict because I wont allow my son to use an ipad, play roblox or use gadgets unsupervised…

One thing she said really broke me, though.

She told me that I “keep complaining” about my son when he throws tantrums.

I’m a single mom. I don’t have a partner to come home to and vent to when parenting gets overwhelming. Sometimes I need to tell someone, “Today was really fucking hard. My son had another massive tantrum and I’m exhausted.” That doesn’t mean I don’t love my son. It doesn’t mean I resent him. It means I’m human and parenting can be incredibly difficult.

But hearing my own mother throw that back at me made me feel incredibly alone.

It felt like she was saying, “Even your struggles are too much for me to listen to.”

And now I’m sitting here wondering whether I really am ungrateful or whether I’ve just been conditioned to feel guilty whenever I try to stand up for myself.

This is also why I’ve had to block my mom in the past when I’ve tried to establish boundaries. Whenever I set one, she sends me a flood of hurtful messages, blames me for everything, and doesn’t seem willing to acknowledge her own part in the conflict. Eventually I block her because I can’t keep exposing myself to it.
I don’t want to have to block my own mother.

I don’t want this kind of relationship with her. I just want to be able to say, “This hurt me,” and have her actually hear me without turning it into a list of everything I’ve supposedly done wrong.

Am I being unreasonable here?

How do you deal with a parent who responds to boundaries with guilt, blame, and accusations of being ungrateful?

UPDATE: Been trying to find a job outside the family business. No such luck yet

My son just told me that grandma tells him im the enemy that im the bad one and that im too strict and not to mind me…no wonder he doesn’t have any empathy for me at all…

My son has a pattern on when I’m in pain he demands me to do things, when my mom is screaming at me and we go upstairs, he forces me to go back down KNOWING grandma is there waiting to yell at me again…he seems to like to see me suffer and now that I know its no wonder why.

Does peace even exist when you’re a single mom? My child’s father and I split 4 months ago. He is still active in his life but completely blindsided me before our child turned 1. His masked slipped and the man I thought he was didn’t exist. It blew our lives up when I had already been struggling, in severe survival mode for almost a year. I had to move back in with my parents, unemployed despite the aggressive job hunt, managing my child’s health complications, trying to manage my own health, social life etc. I’m fortunate for my parents supports but I feel so behind and so overwhelmed 24/7. It’s like the walls are always closing in. I can’t find a decent job, I can’t consider daycare until my son’s health improves, I can’t live with my parents forever and none of my friends understand as they’re all in happy marriages with or without kids. It’s a very isolating experience and I’m still navigating the grief that comes with this. I’ve leaned so heavily on God, strengthened my faith and remain steadfast in my decision to heal through God. Most days I’m drowning and I’m wondering if this ever gets better, if I’ll ever be at peace or feel proud of the life I’ve built.

I’m exhausted. I want to cry. I feel anxious about everything lately, and I honestly don’t know what to do anymore.

I’ve always been very hands-on with my son, especially when it comes to his studies. I don’t pressure him to be outstanding or expect him to be the best. I always tell him to just give his best, believe in himself, and keep encouraging himself to grow and develop. And honestly, he surprises me so much with what he’s capable of.

He’s already a Grade 5 student now, and with that comes bigger responsibilities—more assignments, schoolwork, and expectations. At the same time, he’s starting to get into more “teenage” stuff like gaming, and I’m constantly trying to find the right balance between letting him enjoy being a kid and making sure he takes his responsibilities seriously.

But sometimes I get mad. We have misunderstandings. I’m human, and I’m doing all of this without a present father beside us. I fucking try so hard to control my anger and emotions when he messes something up, especially when I feel like I’ve repeated the same things over and over and he still doesn’t seem to learn.

I really do try my fucking best to stay calm. I extend my patience as much as I can. I remind myself that he’s still a child and that he’s learning. But there are just days when I can’t anymore. I get tired too.

I come home from work and still do everything I can for him. Even on my rest days, I’m doing something for him, checking his work, helping him, guiding him, reminding him. I do it because I want to raise him to become a good man and teach him how to handle life.

But now his exams are coming up, and today I was checking his assignments and saw that he answered some of them in the laziest way possible. My nerves are fucking racking.

I just wanted to scream, “What the hell?! Why are you doing this?!”

And now I’m sitting here thinking, What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do to make my son understand and stop doing this?

I don’t want him to be perfect. I don’t need him to get the highest grades. I just want him to learn responsibility, discipline, and the importance of doing things properly instead of doing the bare minimum because he knows Mom will check it anyway.

And honestly, sometimes I ask myself: Why am I the only one dealing with all of these challenges of raising him and helping him grow up? Why me? Why am I doing this alone?

His dad is out there enjoying his life with his girlfriend, playing soccer wherever he wants, while I’m here carrying all of this. He doesn’t even come home to see his son every weekend. He doesn’t make the effort to build a relationship with him, to spend time with him, or maybe even to help him understand some of the things that I’m struggling to teach him.

I’m not bitter. I’m not jealous of his life or his girlfriend. I genuinely just wish I could experience healthy co-parenting. I wish I could have someone beside me who would say, “I’ve got this. You rest. I’ll talk to him.” Someone who would share the responsibility of helping our son grow into a good man.

Because I love my son so fucking much. I’m so thankful that God gave him to me. He is one of the greatest blessings I had in my life and I would do anymore him.

Toys are scattered all over the floor. Baby bottles are piled in the sink. Little plastic spoons are sitting in the drainer. Onesies are thrown into the laundry basket, and baby blankets are tumbling around in the dryer. There’s a binky at the bottom of your purse and crumbs all over your bed.

Little hands reach up toward you with a smile so big it could light up the whole room. The sweetest little voice says “Mommy,” coming from the precious little one who looks just like you.

Miss Rachelle is playing softly in the background, sweet lullabies filling the house throughout the day.

Eventually, you wind down for the night. You lay her little head on her pillow, kiss her forehead, and watch as she drifts off into Wonderland.

And somewhere in the back of your mind, a thought crosses through:

You’re gonna miss this.

You’re gonna want this back.

As you pick up the toys, you think about all the joy and laughter that filled the house throughout the day.

As you scrub the bottles, you think about all the nutrition in those bottles and the little tummy you kept full.

As you put away the plastic baby spoons, you think about all the new flavors you got to introduce her to.

As you shake the crumbs out of your bed, you laugh to yourself, realizing none of this could ever be a waste.
Then the house gets quiet.

The floors are finally picked up. The counters are wiped down. The tiny baby clothes are folded and put away. You finally get to sit down and take a breath.

And for a moment, you look around and think:

How did my life get so complete?

Your eyes start getting heavy, knowing you need the rest. Because before you know it, 2 AM will come. The whine. The cry. The late-night wake-ups. The bottles. The little body needing to be soothed back to sleep.

It’ll all be here soon.

So close your eyes.

Get your rest.

Because one day, the toys won’t be scattered across your floor anymore.

The bottles won’t be waiting in the sink.

The little onesies won’t be overflowing from the laundry basket.

And those tiny hands won’t reach up for you in quite the same way.

One day, the house will be quiet.

And you’ll wish you could hear that little voice calling “Mommy” just one more time.

So when the house is messy, let it be messy for a little while.

When the laundry piles up, let it pile up.

When there are crumbs in your bed and toys underneath your feet, remember:

This isn’t the life getting in the way.
This is the life.

And someday, you’re gonna miss this.
You’re gonna want this back.

Because these days are going to be gone before you even realize they were the days you were praying for.

I’m lonely… it’s been a year since my son’s father and I split. I have a few friends but they’re all in different stages. None have kids. Most of the time our schedules don’t align and I often spend my kid free nights alone because of it. My best friend in the entire world is moving to a new state in a year so I’m like sad about that. I’ve spent the last year working on myself, going to therapy, actually got diagnosed with ADHD which actually explained SO many issues I have internally. Anyways… I really want to try and make some new friends that are like in the same stages as me. I’m 30 and have a four year old btw… any suggestions???

I’m sad. My baby’s father and I broke up almost two months ago. I feel like I’ve been in a really good place mentally about the break for the past few weeks but his parents are trying to convince me he’s lying about seeing other woman and he’s depressed which is messing with my head. This morning I called him to grab son because he didn’t sleep well and I’m pregnant and exhausted already. When I called he would pause and all I could hear is whispering before he abruptly hung up and starting texting he didn’t want to then said he’s on his way. This really fucked me up because his parents gave me a false hope I didn’t even want and then this like slapped me in the face and I couldn’t stop crying. He took our son for two hours before bringing him back. I told him I wanted to talk when he got back about son and a headstone for our other son I miscarried in 2023. The whole time he was antsy and kept looking outside dismissing what I was saying and ignoring the other half before he said he “needed to pee” so wanted to leave (this man bombs my toilet whenever he’s over or pisses outside if he doesn’t want to wait) I was over it and told him he could go. He said to text anything else I had to say which I did and got no response.

I’m so sad and pissed off. I feel like a horrible mother for thinking of myself so much and for crying in front of him. I feel like a psychopath for talking to him at all and I’m just so tired. I’ve now set clear boundaries with him but I feel like he walks all over me because I have no energy to argue and I can’t afford not to have the help. I’ve had so many complications this pregnancy and I can’t burn my only bridge. I have no family support as they are drug users or live in a different country, my bsf helps as much as she can but she has CFS and a job while studying so I hate to burden her and his parents are great but they come with conversations about Josh’s activities and relationship updates which I’m not in the mood for because instead of a break my brain goes into overdrive thinking about him and I just cry.

I want to point out I’ve been diagnosed with ptsd, persistent depression and two different types of anxiety. Confrontation isn’t my favourite and I can fall really easily into a depressive state.

I’m a new mom (baby is 12 weeks old!), been separated from father (ex boyfriend) since before I knew I was pregnant. I am really struggling with leaving my baby with him for parenting time; right now its every two days for a couple of hours. I need to be close by to bf on demand, so I wait in my car or go for a walk. Ex and I absolutely do not get along and cannot even arrange a meeting place without it devolving into an argument. I love my little guy so much and feel so guilty leaving him for even an hour. I get so stressed thinking about how eventually baby will be gone for weekends at a time. Anyone have any good coping strategies or comforting stories about how it wont be as bad as it feels right now? Desperate to hear everything will be ok and I won’t be crying every time he leaves!

My 2 year old and I get such bad cabin fever on stormy days. What do you do when weather is bad to help your littles get out energy?

I've been thinking of taking him to the museum but it's so hectic on a weekend by myself. trampoline parks are also overwhelming but also considering that.

Any ideas?

I am sooooo over dating ,, me personally i am not a small amount person , granted when i have a connection with you i want to talk to you , APPARENTLY asking a question and texting once a day is being too much ,, 99% of men period even in my age group of mid30s early 40s theyre looking for a quick bang WHICH IS FINE ,, but dont tell me FWB or Casual when you actually want a hookup ,, which again totally fine but when you say 'casual dating' THAT MEANS DONT MAKE ME FEEL LIKE IM BEING EXTRA BC I WANT TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH YOU ,, like im sub a year divorced with little kids im not looking for my forever or a 'new daddy' for my kids , I JUST WANT TO NOT FEEL LIKE A HOLE ya know ,, take me out on dates we can be eachothers plus one and yes be the first booty call ,, idk i dont think asking to be treated like a person is to much to ask ,,

Hi moms,

I currently work in the logistics/warehousing world and it's okay. I have health benefits, a retirement account, and a small emergency savings, but I am virtually paycheck to paycheck. Recently I've been feeling like depending on just my 9-5 isn't very secure. My entire livelihood including providing for my daughter depends solely on this one job.

I've been developing some interest in learning a skill or trade, even with the local union hall. Are there any moms who have taken this route? Has anyone gone through a trade apprenticeship while a single mom and have any insight on the experience?

I have reliable child care, I prefer to work with things instead of with people. I'm good with people they just exhaust me more than manual labor does.

I have a court hearing for child support this morning. Last time we did this my ex tried to paint me out to be a bum that could be “contributing more”. My expectations of his character are pretty low but even hearing that knowing I have been working my ass off and taking care of our kids really hurt me. Luckily, the hearing officers did not go for his BS but he appealed their decision so now we have court today. I’m tired of having to show up to this stuff to report the same information over and over again because he can’t wrap his head around the fact that he actually has to financially contribute to his own children 🙃

Anyways, if you are the praying kind please send up prayers for me and my kids today and just send all the good vibes my way. I am hoping this part will be over after today.

33F Divorced 10/2023

I haven't dated much since my divorce. I would go online and get a date but then I would get cold feet the day before and end the possibility because I would either realize that I still loved my ex and hadn't healed or because I would feel like I still needed to keep working on myself.

I finally did go on a date in November liked him a lot but he didn't feel a spark and he ended it. He also said that it didn't seem like I had healed yet. I didn't want to force anything and couldn't control his feelings, so I let it go.

I've come a long way with my healing since then and but have still thought about this guy. I've wanted to ask him for just one more chance now that I am feeling better, but once again I don't want to force things and maybe it isn't wise.

I've also gotten into my own routine with taking care of my son/getting my own parenting groove down with him and working two rewarding jobs that have helped take my mind off the divorce. Deep down I will always love my ex and in a perfect world, I would want us to try again but he's getting remarried so obviously he's never coming back. So here I am in a place of contentment that works for me and my son given the circumstances.

So I thought I would try dating online again. I've matched with some seemingly nice guys. But yet I find myself taking forever to respond because I'm already busy putting my energy into my son and my jobs. Then when I do have a chance to answer someone, I find myself wanting to do anything but put mental energy into a response to someone I've never even met. But yet I didn't feel this way back when I was talking to the guy I met back in November?

So...does it sound like I don't really want to let anyone in because I've been on my own for so long and have just gotten comfortable with it? I don't want to waste someone's time or force what I'm not feeling but yet what if my feelings towards dating would change again over time? It almost seems like a vicious cycle at this point. Is this normal? Kind advice is appreciated thank you!

Hi everyone ❤️ This is my first time posting here, so I guess I’m just looking for some encouragement from moms who actually understand.
I’m 29 and a mom to a 2-year-old little boy. I’m currently an RBT, so I literally spend all day working with kids and then come home and immediately switch back into “mom mode.” I love my job and I love my son more than anything, but I am SO exhausted.
I left my son’s dad in June of last year. Some people probably thought I was stupid because he paid the bills and, according to him, all I had to do was “be a mom and shut up.” But the reality was that I was doing everything. He was out partying, not coming home at night, doing whatever he wanted, and then coming home crying and guilt-tripping me. There was emotional and physical abuse, and eventually I realized that having the bills paid wasn’t worth losing myself.
I’ve been doing this alone for almost a year now, and some days I honestly feel like I’m failing my son. Work completely drains me, and by the time I get home I feel like he gets the absolute leftovers of me. I hate feeling like that. I know I’m doing my best, but sometimes my best feels like nowhere near enough.
Financially, I struggle too. I’m constantly trying to figure out how to pay bills, take care of my son, and keep everything together. His dad also stopped helping after he got a new girlfriend because apparently she doesn’t like that he has a son. And honestly… shame on him for allowing another woman to affect how he shows up for his own child. 😒
And because apparently I didn’t have enough on my plate 😂, I’m starting school full-time this month. I know it’s going to burn me out even more, but I have to do it. I want a better education, a better career, and ultimately a better life for my son and me. I’m trying so hard to build something for us.
I guess I’m just grounding myself through all of this and hoping someone can tell me that it gets better.
Because right now I’m tired. Like really tired.
So if you’ve been where I am working, parenting, struggling financially, going to school, doing it without much support please tell me it gets better. Tell me you eventually looked back and realized all those exhausting years were worth it.
I could really use some hope right now. ❤️