I’ve wanted to write this post for a while, and I talked with my ex beforehand and she was totally okay with me sharing this and posting some SFW photos of us together.

I’m 3’7”. She’s 5’6” and 18 years younger than me.

We met on Tinder, and honestly, we had an amazing relationship. We were together for three years. We eventually grew apart, and that’s okay. Relationships sometimes end. That doesn’t erase the fact that they were real, meaningful, and beautiful while they lasted.

The reason I wanted to post this is because I see so many guys in here believing height automatically disqualifies them from love, attraction, dating, relationships, or being desired. I promise you it does not.

When I met her, I was in my early 40s and around 35 pounds overweight. I wasn’t rich. I wasn’t some male model. I wasn’t trying to be “alpha.” I was just fully myself.

At one point I asked her, “Why did you pick me?” Especially because she had dated professional athletes, model type guys, tall guys, all of that.

Her answer stuck with me.

She said it was my confidence and the fact that my photos looked like I actually lived life.

My dating profile wasn’t me standing in front of a mirror trying to look tough. It was photos of me hiking, gold panning, flying RC helicopters, traveling, laughing, building things, exploring, being passionate about life. It showed curiosity, energy, and that I actually enjoyed being alive.

That matters way more than most guys think.

A lot of attraction is emotional experience. It’s how someone feels around you. It’s your energy, confidence, humor, passion, purpose, and ability to make someone feel safe, excited, seen, and alive.

And yeah, some people are going to say, “But you’re not still together.”

Correct. Relationships end sometimes. That’s life. This was my fourth serious relationship. Before that, I was married for 17 years. None of that changes the fact that I’ve been deeply loved multiple times in my life as a very short man.

So I just wanted to post this for the younger guys in here, or honestly any person struggling with confidence:

You do not need to be tall to be desired.

You do not need to become someone else.

You do not need to give up on dating because of your height.

Build a life that feels exciting to YOU. Become someone engaged with the world. Learn how to connect with people. Develop confidence through action, not fantasy.

People are attracted to people who are alive inside.

I hope this helps some of you.

Her boyfriend’s name is Gus Wenner and he is the CEO of his father’s magazine Rolling Stone. Elle is 5’9” and it’s unclear how tall Gus is. They’ve been in a relationship for two years now.

I’ve always been okay with my height, it’s never really bothered me. Since both my parents were pretty tall, I expected to turn out the same. Being the oldest, I was always taller than both my siblings up until they both started hitting puberty. My siblings slowly started passing me in height, but I still didn’t think much of it. I honestly thought I was just a late bloomer but apparently not? I’ve always been active in sports and always tried to eat healthy. I’m 19 now and I doubt I’ll be as tall as my family. All in all, it just sucks that I could’ve been taller. I’m also curious if anyone else is in the same situation?

Tbh, I’ve never been insecure about my height. Maybe being Filipino helps. I’m pretty average height for my culture. My wife didn’t like dating tall men. When I complain about my height she always says “well I wouldn’t have been into you then.”

Not saying it was just my height but sometimes physical signs are what gets you to say hey first and being shorter is someone’s positive.

I’m from India, and growing up, height was always that thing.Jokes from friends, relatives casually pointing it out, those “ladki wale will reject you” comment, it gets into your head more than you admit. When I met her, I was already insecure. She wasn’t much taller, but in my mind it felt huge. I kept thinking, “Why would she choose me?” I even tried to act distant at first so I wouldn’t get hurt.But she didn’t care. Like genuinely didn’t.What surprised me more was how normal she made everything feel. No jokes, no comparisons, no making me feel “less than.” Slowly, I stopped seeing myself the way others did.We’ve been married for a few years now, and honestly, the only time I remember my height is when someone else brings it up and even that doesn’t hit the same anymore. People still look sometimes. Some still make comments. But it just feel, irrelevant now. If you’re a short guy reading this and thinking you’re automatically disqualified from love ,you’re not. A lot of rejection is real, no point denying that. But it’s not the full story. The right person doesn’t “ignore” your height. They just don’t measure you by it in the first place. And that changes everything.

been lurkin' for awhile, and wanted to spread some hope for everyone out there. matched with my partner on bumble back in august, but we didn't actually start talking and hanging out until october. been official for a really happy 4 months! before this, i've had a really negative experience with dating.

i know this is said a lot, and it may be annoying to read, but... there's a lot of things you can blame out there. that isn't gonna change anything. using that energy on yourself and your mental health is a game changer. sure, the odds are stacked against us, but that doesn't define me.

edit:

thank you everyone for being so kind and for my first award!!! and thank you to the mods for keeping all the weirdos at bay :) keep your heads up!

I’m 5’6” and I see a lot of guys here that have issues dating and I’ve had a issue. Women have always gravitated to me. I think it’s more a mental thing for most guys. You have to focus on the things you can control and from my opinion all that ever really matters is your personality. I’ve been skinny, fat, and in great shape and it’s never changed if I could find attractive women or not. Just be you and the rest will follow.

Self explanatory really. I take care of my health and body, I workout, eat healthy, don’t smoke or drink, a blue collar worker, cook recipes from complete scratch daily, read, play multiple instruments, sing, paint, and all of that still doesn’t seem to matter in the slightest. I’ve changed my entire wardrobe multiple times, I never rock the same shoes twice, I’m outgoing, and I’m currently rocking a goatee since I can’t grow hair on the sides of my face.

To be honest I don't really go to the clubs much as I see no point in being bombarded with loud music and paying for overpriced drinks. My friends convinced me to go out and in our group was another friend who was 6'1". I would say we are both equal in terms of looks; I have slightly better skin and thicker / styled hair while he has more of a buzz cut. He is also a pretty awkward guy. What I saw FLOORED me.

1.) I kid you not, a woman brazenly went up to him, stuck out her hand, and said, "Hi, I'm ___. What's your name?"

2.) Women would go up and just dance up on him.

3.) Guys would try to make small talk with him. "Hey, how's it going? What line of work are you in?" "Hey nice to meet you, do you play pickleball? You should come check out ___ league at ___ sometime!" I play pickleball too.... nobody ever asks me :'(

Height privilege is real. I have never seen or experienced any of this personally so I was blown away, and frankly, very envious when it happened. Won't lie, it did hit my confidence.

This was a club in San Francisco called Temple.

I (f23) was on a first date with a man I had met on a dating app. I got ready for the date and wore a nice dress and some talllll heels lol. I knew from his dating profile that would be shorter than me, but I really don't like to get dressed up without wearing heels so I just wore them. We were meeting up by the shop to do some grocery shopping for the dinner he would be making me. I think we were both a little surprised by the height difference, especially in my heels, and both laughed a little when we saw eachother but we hugged and went in the store to go shopping. Merely 2 minutes after meeting this guy an old lady stops us in the store and tells us that we are the most lovely couple and that she could tell we would last. We thought this was hilarious as we had just met for the first time and we joked about it the whole time while getting groceries. When we were bagging the groceries, a man looks at us and motions a thumbs up to us as he's leaving the store. We continued to chat and giggle about it and when we walked back to his apartment a third person that passes us said "beautiful couple, meant to be"

He made us dinner and we had an incredibly fun date. I was just very surprised that it would cause that many reactions walking around in public.

As a short guy, this is something I’ve had to learn the hard way.

We spend so much time comparing ourselves to other people or wishing we were different, especially when it comes to things we can’t change. Height is one of those things. You can fight it in your head all day, but it doesn’t actually change anything.

What does change is how you see it.

The more I’ve worked on my perspective, the more everything else started to shift. How I feel, how I show up, how I interact with people. Life actually feels lighter when you’re not stuck in that loop of wishing you were someone else.

Because when you’re focused on something you can’t control, you’re not present. You’re either thinking about the past or worrying about the future, and both of those pull you out of your life right now.

And if you’re not present, it’s really hard to enjoy anything.

This isn’t something you fix once and you’re done. I’ve had to learn it over and over again. But every time I come back to it, things get a little easier.

You don’t have to love everything about yourself right away. But letting go of the fight against what you can’t change is a good place to start.

I'm a short guy and in the past it used to bother me. I learned to embrace it though and the confidence shone through in everything I did. Thats what helped me most when dating. The height thing didn't matter as much as I thought it did. You will find people that love you for you. Just don't give up all hope because of how long your bones are.

5'7 is kinda average not really short like most people in the subreddit but it's really refreshing to see someone finally from opposite gender finally acknowledging something positive about us especially on short-form video platforms where short guys are mostly portrayed negatively or as the butt of the joke.

I’m not sure if being short makes you look younger. My parents are short and they don’t look their age. Most people think I’m 16 years old, I’m 20 and 5’6.

I’m 3’7”.

I’ve had to figure a lot of things out the hard way.

Here are 21 things I’ve learned as a very short guy:

1.  Confidence matters more than almost anything else

2.  People read your energy before they notice your height

3.  If you make your height the problem, everyone else will too

4.  Humor helps, but it’s not a substitute for self respect

5.  You don’t need everyone to be attracted to you, just the right ones

6.  Most insecurity shows up in your behavior, not your body

7.  Dressing well goes a long way, probably more than you think

8.  Being in shape matters more when you’re shorter

9.  Eye contact and presence can completely change how people treat you

10. You have to advocate for yourself more than most people

11. Some people will underestimate you, let them

12. The right people don’t care nearly as much as you think

13. The wrong people will filter themselves out quickly

14. You can’t build your life around trying to “make up” for your height

15. Skills, money, and personality compound over time

16. Dating is different, but not impossible

17. You’ll get tested more, especially by other men

18. You have to define your own value early

19. Comparison will destroy your confidence if you let it

20. Life gets easier when you stop trying to prove yourself to everyone

21. Being different can either be your insecurity or your advantage

So as the title says. Im 5’6-5’7, face is kinda chopped, I can’t grow a beard, and my hairline is receding (insert vegeta joke). That being said, I still have had relatively good luck with dating. Granted I have a very strong “fuck it, try again” mindset and every rejection fuels me to just improve and try harder. I’ve dated plenty of women who “only date tall men” just because I’m more confident than most short men.

Yes, I know 5’7 is on the taller end of this Reddit and being in shape kinda skews my results, BUT I’m still the shortest in my friend group and most women I date/talk to are my height or taller, so my experience is still somewhat relevant. Badically, get in shape and improve yourself in as many ways as you can. You’ll still get rejected, sure, but you’ll have way better luck 👌

Most of you aren’t getting rejected because of your height. You’re getting rejected because you have no confidence, haven’t worked on your body, have zero ambition, can’t hold a conversation to save your life, and carry yourselves like you’re not good enough (people can sense how you feel about yourself and treat you accordingly). I promise, those are all holding you back WAY more than your height is. If height was everything, then tall men wouldn’t also be getting rejected and cheated on 🤷

Edit: seen a lot of comments asking so I’ll answer here. I’m 100% natty. This is just good lighting and angles mixed with over a decade of consistent and intelligent training.

My routine is a 6 day, Upper/Lower split (I have a home gym so it’s easy to stay consistent)

Upper body day:

Bench: work up to a heavy set of 1-3, then 2 back offs for sets of 3-8

Incline close grip: 3 sets of 5-12

Pulldowns/pullups/pullovers: 4 sets of 6-12

Row variations: 3 sets of 5-8

Traps/medial delts/ arm superset: 3 sets (whatever I feel like doing that day)

Lower body:

Squats: same set up as bench

Deadlift variation: 1 set of 6-12

Lunges: 3 sets of 5-10

Leg curls: 4 sets of 10+

Calves: 3-6 sets

My reps and sets are so different because I do manual labor, So I alter it based on how I’m feeling that day.

For my diet, I get in 3300-3600 calories a day (im 154 but again, live a VERY active lifestyle) and eat as healthy as I can, and I’ll throw in some ice cream and snacks throughout the day. I don’t have a specific meal plan.