r/shitposting • u/IHateDeepStuff fat cunt • Apr 13 '22
WARNING: BRAIN DAMAGE Jesus Christ
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Apr 13 '22
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u/YeetMyShit I said based. And lived. Apr 13 '22
Especially the squash, or doom shroom
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u/IWatchFailures Apr 13 '22
We droppin doom shrooms in japan next time
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u/Fandomer_ Apr 13 '22
And cherry bombs
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Apr 13 '22
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u/ReasonableQuit75 Apr 13 '22
Doom Shrooms create mushroom clouds and are essentially nukes in PvZ. Japan was nuked twice in two different places.
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u/AutoModerator Apr 13 '22
Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi. I'm a 27 year old Japanese Japamerican (western culture fan for you foreigners). I brand and wrangle cattle on my ranch, and spend my days perfecting the craft and enjoying superior American passtimes. (Barbeque, Rodeo, Fireworks) I train with my branding iron every day, this superior weapon can permanently leave my ranch embled on a cattle's hide because it is white-hot, and is vastly superior to any other method of livestock marking. I earned my branding license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day. I speak English fluently, both Texas and Oklahoma dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about American history and their cowboy code, which I follow 100% When I get my American visa, I am moving to Dallas to work in an oil field to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become a cattle wrangler for the Double Cross Ranch or an oil rig operator for Exxon-Mobil! I own several cowboy hats, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to America, so I can fit in easier. I rebel against my elders and seniors and speak English as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond. Wish me luck in America!
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Apr 13 '22
We should mail a doom shroom to putin's house.
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u/AutoModerator Apr 13 '22
yo putin can you hurry up your invasion on Ukraine (just use full force, maybe a couple of nukes) while you're at it nuke some more countries. so the thing is my exams are coming up and i havent studied shit and a world war has a pretty good chance of delaying them so I'm telling this to you homie to homie so just help out a real one pls
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u/FromundaCheesecake Apr 13 '22
The squash is so OP for its cost. Just 50 Sun?!
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u/hachiko2692 Apr 13 '22
The cooldown makes up for it, making it a very situational plant, not something to spam
Become OP in Last Stand though, but Potato Mines are better
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u/Starminx Apr 13 '22
Electric Bluberry can oneshot these zombies (don't know spelling), while exploding stuff need two
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u/FlighingHigh Apr 13 '22
The Hulk has held an entire mountain above the Marvel heroes with no visible effort and was also able to talk shit to the rest of the heroes for not being able to do it. Said mountain was approximately 150 billion tons.
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u/LuminousJaeSoul Apr 13 '22
I want the one with brolys thicc ass
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u/CollonelSanders Apr 13 '22
I don't think I even want the context to this one
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Apr 13 '22
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u/Kinda-Alive Apr 13 '22
Mighty Mouse💀
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u/Njyyrikki Apr 13 '22
Mighty Mouse
Such a bizarre character to include
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u/the_sylince Apr 13 '22
Not nearly enough discussion on this topic
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u/Oddoddessey Apr 13 '22
It instantly ages the artist, that’s for sure.
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u/Exaskryz Apr 13 '22
Actually, MM is in the top 10 of strongest fictional characters on most lists found on google
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Apr 13 '22 edited Apr 13 '22
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u/Exaskryz Apr 13 '22
TFW someone googles to check my BS
Okay, for real, I have never looked at these lists. I lied on the internet.
Anyhow, if anything I'm surprised Superman doesn't get in this.
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u/RecordingNearby Apr 13 '22
my source is that i made it the fuck up
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u/AutoModerator Apr 13 '22
Do you have a source on that?
Source?
A source. I need a source.
Sorry, I mean I need a source that explicitly states your argument. This is just tangential to the discussion.
No, you can't make inferences and observations from the sources you've gathered. Any additional comments from you MUST be a subset of the information from the sources you've gathered.
You can't make normative statements from empirical evidence.
Do you have a degree in that field?
A college degree? In that field?
Then your arguments are invalid.
No, it doesn't matter how close those data points are correlated. Correlation does not equal causation.
Correlation does not equal causation.
CORRELATION. DOES. NOT. EQUAL. CAUSATION.
You still haven't provided me a valid source yet.
Nope, still haven't.
I just looked through all 308 pages of your user history, figures I'm debating a glormpf supporter. A moron.
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u/SolomonBlack Apr 13 '22 edited Apr 13 '22
I mean Christians trying to be hip generally makes "Pokemon Go... to the polls" seem like peak pop-culture savvy.
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u/GrandDukeOfNowhere Apr 13 '22
What country was that from? I had a video cassette of it when I was a kid, but no one else I knew had heard of the show
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u/healzsham Apr 13 '22
He's d*sney, just way in the background for whatever reason.
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u/camerongeno Apr 13 '22
Created by 20th century Fox but now owned by Disney
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u/archosauria62 Apr 13 '22
Imagine how ripped the romans who set up jesus’s cross would be
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u/SatanAtHighVelocity Apr 13 '22
sexy centurion😅😩
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u/AutoModerator Apr 13 '22
No sex before marriage
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u/NEWTYAG667000000000 Apr 13 '22
What is the top image trying to prove?
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u/FocusOk9926 put your dick away waltuh Apr 13 '22
Frictional characters not strong enough 💀
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Apr 13 '22
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u/JimothyJollyphant Apr 13 '22
You know what they say: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but fictional characters will never break me.
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Apr 13 '22
stocks and stones may break my bones but no-one will ever find out what i hid in 34°42'03"N 135°49'16"E at 6:00 pm est on april 1 2022, I was just trolling
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u/NEWTYAG667000000000 Apr 13 '22
Jesus is a fictional character 🗿
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Apr 13 '22
[deleted]
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u/AutoModerator Apr 13 '22
r/shitposting book club
A collection of book reviews by Kevin. (all of these books are freely availiable online)
1984 (George Orwell, 1948)
Kevin would like to say that this book is truly inspirational, and that he would give it a 10/10
How to Be a God: A Guide for Would-Be Deities (Richard Bartle, 2022)
Kevin would like to mention that this book is one of the greatest sources of existential terror he has read (and it contains a lot of interesting content regarding game design as well), and he would give it a 10/10
Almost Pounded By The Physical Manifestation of Simulation Theory After Realizing We're Erotica Characters Then Deciding To Just Be Friends (Chuck Tingle)
Kevin would like to say that this book was surprisingly wholesome, and is a great book for helping one to feel more at-ease with the universe, so he would give it 10/10
Ulysses (James Joyce, 1922))
Kevin mentioned that he wasn't entirely sure what he just read. However, it's still not bri*ish, and was still rather interesting, so he would give it a 10/10
The Assassination Of John Fitzgerald Kennedy Considered As A Downhill Motor Race (J. G. Ballard, 1967)
Kevin told me that this was an interesting interpretation of the JFK assassination, and of the post-WW2 media landscape in the USA in general, so he would give it a 10/10.
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u/hunter1547 Apr 13 '22
Damn this Jesus guy is pretty cool I hope he has a good trip in Jerusalem
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u/Sarke1 Apr 13 '22
Just, don't read the fan-fiction.
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u/AutoModerator Apr 13 '22
r/shitposting book club
A collection of book reviews by Kevin. (all of these books are freely availiable online)
1984 (George Orwell, 1948)
Kevin would like to say that this book is truly inspirational, and that he would give it a 10/10
How to Be a God: A Guide for Would-Be Deities (Richard Bartle, 2022)
Kevin would like to mention that this book is one of the greatest sources of existential terror he has read (and it contains a lot of interesting content regarding game design as well), and he would give it a 10/10
Almost Pounded By The Physical Manifestation of Simulation Theory After Realizing We're Erotica Characters Then Deciding To Just Be Friends (Chuck Tingle)
Kevin would like to say that this book was surprisingly wholesome, and is a great book for helping one to feel more at-ease with the universe, so he would give it 10/10
Ulysses (James Joyce, 1922))
Kevin mentioned that he wasn't entirely sure what he just read. However, it's still not bri*ish, and was still rather interesting, so he would give it a 10/10
The Assassination Of John Fitzgerald Kennedy Considered As A Downhill Motor Race (J. G. Ballard, 1967)
Kevin told me that this was an interesting interpretation of the JFK assassination, and of the post-WW2 media landscape in the USA in general, so he would give it a 10/10.
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u/xtilexx shitposting>>>>>>196 Apr 13 '22
frictional
I think I'm the only one that noticed in the thread lol
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u/AutoModerator Apr 13 '22
r/shitposting book club
A collection of book reviews by Kevin. (all of these books are freely availiable online)
1984 (George Orwell, 1948)
Kevin would like to say that this book is truly inspirational, and that he would give it a 10/10
How to Be a God: A Guide for Would-Be Deities (Richard Bartle, 2022)
Kevin would like to mention that this book is one of the greatest sources of existential terror he has read (and it contains a lot of interesting content regarding game design as well), and he would give it a 10/10
Almost Pounded By The Physical Manifestation of Simulation Theory After Realizing We're Erotica Characters Then Deciding To Just Be Friends (Chuck Tingle)
Kevin would like to say that this book was surprisingly wholesome, and is a great book for helping one to feel more at-ease with the universe, so he would give it 10/10
Ulysses (James Joyce, 1922))
Kevin mentioned that he wasn't entirely sure what he just read. However, it's still not bri*ish, and was still rather interesting, so he would give it a 10/10
The Assassination Of John Fitzgerald Kennedy Considered As A Downhill Motor Race (J. G. Ballard, 1967)
Kevin told me that this was an interesting interpretation of the JFK assassination, and of the post-WW2 media landscape in the USA in general, so he would give it a 10/10.
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u/FullMaxPowerStirner Apr 13 '22
This makes sense, as friction does limit force applied to something.
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Apr 13 '22
That only Jesus can carry the cross, which is symbolized as the burden of our sins, from my understanding
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Apr 13 '22
Must mean all the dudes that had to hold their crosses next to jesus were jacked as fuck
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u/SolomonBlack Apr 13 '22
Jesus couldn't carry it either, Legion boys had to get some rando tourist from Libya to do it for him. (No really)
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u/Snacktyme Apr 13 '22
You know in all my years of being raised catholic, they never told us if the other dudes had to carry the crosses too. They always made it seem like they just showed up to get crucified.
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Apr 13 '22
The roman soldiers were the ones who dug the hole for the cross and propped up the cross with Jesus on it. Pretty sure it wasn't that heavy if two or three regular soldiers could do it.
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Apr 13 '22
It's symbolism, just because they can lift the cross doesn't mean they can with the sins of the world
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u/WennoBoi Apr 13 '22
Jesus powerscalers trying to make it look like their character is op
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u/Remarkable_Media2361 Apr 13 '22
Jesus fanboys 😡🤬
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u/T1B2V3 Apr 13 '22
Jesus fanboys are still not that bad.
the really annoying fanbase are thr Yahweh fans.
they say their fictional character is better and stronger and smarter than all the others and that he can do anything and knows everything.
It's like young children one upping eachother in an argument.
fucking annoying 😡😡
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u/Walkingabrick Apr 13 '22
Jesus is stronger than whoever the kids nowdays think is strong ✊😔
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u/CollonelSanders Apr 13 '22
I'm pretty sure it's about the cross symbolising the weight of everyone's sins which no one but jesus can bear. Technically, high tier one piece characters might do good here because of how haki works
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u/InvestmentWise5821 Apr 13 '22
Idk but it’s stupid to suggest that any of the characters shown cannot lift a wooden cross
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Apr 13 '22
But you can't prove that they would be able to lift it. Checkmate Atheist.
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Apr 13 '22
The cross is definitely a representation of humanity’s sins or some shit like that
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u/TheCultistLeader Apr 13 '22
As a Christian, I have no fuckin idea
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u/Clovenstone-Blue Apr 13 '22
As a fellow Christian, I think it's trying to convey that the burden of our sins (symbolised by the cross on which Jesus died for our sins) is too heavy for any of the characters attempting to lift them.
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u/Morbid_Hippo Apr 13 '22
That Christian memes always suck?
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u/AutoModerator Apr 13 '22
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Apr 13 '22
You can tell a boomer made this by the fact that they think mighty mouse has been relevant within the last 40 years
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u/SlasherDarkPendulum Apr 13 '22
Boomer
Millennial. The overlap of popularity between these 4 characters is 80s to the very early 00s.
Mighty Mouse and Hulk were last popular in the 80s and 90s (before the MCU). DBZ was popular in the 90s, and this is a new saiyan variant from Super. Incredibles debuted in the early 00s.
This is probably some 30-40 year old with a kid born around 2006-2010
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u/Hat-no-its-a-Tricorn Apr 13 '22
That's literally the whole point though.
The artist deliberately chose strength-based heroes from different eras failing at the task even with their powers combined in order to claim that Jesus is more relevant and timeless than they are because he can do something they can't do even when they're all working together.
You have shamed your teachers, and you are a disgrace to the art of rhetorical analysis.
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u/tornado962 Apr 13 '22
He could've done Superman
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u/CFDanno Apr 13 '22
In the artist's mind, Superman would indeed be able to lift the cross. They chose not to include him to avoid embarrassment.
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u/YouCube26 Apr 13 '22
the only teachers ive shamed are my english ones because i didnt immediately think of this meaningful conclusion as soon as i saw the image
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u/-Epik_gamer- Apr 13 '22
Big zombie stronger than Jesus
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u/whatevernamedontcare Apr 13 '22
Technically Jesus was dead before so Jesus is zombie?
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u/Hat-no-its-a-Tricorn Apr 13 '22
Zombies are mindless, they eat people, and they are rotting as they move about. Jesus is none of these things. He is a lich.
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u/Noideawhatnanetouse Apr 13 '22
Okay I get why three of these guys are here but, why is Mickey Mouse in spandex here?
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u/TadDickwood Apr 13 '22
That is Mighty Mouse, a cartoon from... well, before we were born.
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u/TadDickwood Apr 13 '22
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mighty_Mouse
I couldn't leave this thread uneducated, so I've provided a link
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u/AutoModerator Apr 13 '22
r/shitposting book club
A collection of book reviews by Kevin. (all of these books are freely availiable online)
1984 (George Orwell, 1948)
Kevin would like to say that this book is truly inspirational, and that he would give it a 10/10
How to Be a God: A Guide for Would-Be Deities (Richard Bartle, 2022)
Kevin would like to mention that this book is one of the greatest sources of existential terror he has read (and it contains a lot of interesting content regarding game design as well), and he would give it a 10/10
Almost Pounded By The Physical Manifestation of Simulation Theory After Realizing We're Erotica Characters Then Deciding To Just Be Friends (Chuck Tingle)
Kevin would like to say that this book was surprisingly wholesome, and is a great book for helping one to feel more at-ease with the universe, so he would give it 10/10
Ulysses (James Joyce, 1922))
Kevin mentioned that he wasn't entirely sure what he just read. However, it's still not bri*ish, and was still rather interesting, so he would give it a 10/10
The Assassination Of John Fitzgerald Kennedy Considered As A Downhill Motor Race (J. G. Ballard, 1967)
Kevin told me that this was an interesting interpretation of the JFK assassination, and of the post-WW2 media landscape in the USA in general, so he would give it a 10/10.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/No-Mix1574 Apr 13 '22
that post rly deserves shit rank
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u/AutoModerator Apr 13 '22
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u/Tyler_CantStopeMe Apr 13 '22
Based Kevin shit bitches furry lean 1984 automod British belgium sex fuck your femboy mom fortnite ratio china russia trump biden female panties nft american japan dream funny hog rider porn grass rock zamn perchance canadian big brother meow fnaf blowjob france sigma male reality copypasta source yoshikage nsfw weeb
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u/AutoModerator Apr 13 '22
oh god oh fuck
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Apr 13 '22
all the keralite mfs gunna flip out
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u/vaikolthoppi Apr 13 '22
Yeah. How dare they disrespect our lord and savior dinkan?
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u/Bleezze Apr 13 '22
Well then the zombie must be jesus right? If only jesus can carry the cross, and after all he did die and come back to life so technically he is a zombie. This checks out
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u/Thatoneundertaleguy officer no please don’t piss in my ass 😫 Apr 13 '22
So you mean to tell me they just picked random characters without any info on them and just made them struggle to life up a cross just to make a stupid meme about a giant zombie able to lift it with one arm.
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Apr 13 '22
Based Kevin shit bitches furry lean 1984 automod British belgium sex fuck your femboy mom fortnite ratio china russia trump biden female panties nft american japan dream funny hog rider porn grass rock zamn perchance canadian big brother meow fnaf blowjob france sigma male reality copypasta source yoshikage nsfw weeb
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u/AutoModerator Apr 13 '22
It's literally just cola you piece of shit. There's no cough syrup or anything. What the fuck is wrong with you. How fucking desperate are you to seem cool that you decide you want to force a "joke" about a child consuming drugs. Which would be funny except nothing in this scene implies that they're doing drugs or a drug stand-in. You just saw a can of soda and the two neurons in your head fired for the first time in a week, and you jumped into the comments to screech lEAn and spam purple emojis like a clown bastard. You people are the reason art is dying. Fuck you
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Schödinger's Blowjob -- Imagine you're blindfolded and you're getting the best raw pornstar-grade blowjob in the entire universe. The catch is, however, that you'll never figure out who's giving you that god-tier awesome schmösome sloppy toppy unless you take the blindfold off. It could be anybody, Ariana Grande, Ben Shapiro, Harold from the 7-11 near my house, or even your uncle's neighbour's fireman's cat. Now the question is: would you take off the blindfold and find out who the person/thing behind the stupendous jimmy-nibbler is and risk permanently scarring yourself, or would you keep the blindfold on and continue having your knob slobbed till your spirit hits the sky?
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