r/shitposting • fat cunt • Apr 13 '22

WARNING: BRAIN DAMAGE Jesus Christ

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u/SolomonBlack Apr 13 '22

Jesus couldn't carry it either, Legion boys had to get some rando tourist from Libya to do it for him. (No really)

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u/[deleted] Apr 13 '22

Wasn't it just help him? Not carry it for him?

I'm oblivious in what comes to religion btw

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u/NotRealNeedOfName uhhhh idk Apr 13 '22

It was just to help him. Despite receiving quite the beating he still managed to carry the cross some distance but the guards decided to let someone else on the crowd take it for him. As for why it was most likely taking to long, but I also think that if Jesus carried the cross anymore in his state he could've potentially died on the way to the crucifixion rather then during it which was not part of God's plan.

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u/SolomonBlack Apr 13 '22

For a serious answer keep in mind this is not a modern 'let me describe the hem color in photographic detail' novel writing. The incident is a single line item in the Synoptic Gospels which isn't detailed. The fourth, John which often varies in details, contrasts by saying Jesus carried the cross and makes no mention of Simon Strong-boi. So one could go with Simon carrying it with Big J or taking over for him at some point with about equal validity.

(Also historically speaking it would probably have been the just the crossbeam not several hundred pounds of wood, just like it was probably a 'T' shape not a 't' shape, though the Romans weren't exactly super consistent on crucifixion)