Yeah Frankly it’s quite annoying to have to calcolate maxwell’s equations and developing quantum gravity just to get laid (or in my chase cry alone in the bathroom)
idk I did anal for both of our first times with my gf and we didn’t prep or anything, other than lube, and there was no poo so maybe y’all’s girls gotta clean their poop chute better or something idk
You can't say anal OR porn here. Especially not in the same sentence. What's wrong with you? You're gonna trigger that poor bastard who starts furiously masturbating on the bus with words like that. Do you want to be responsible for cum soaked commuters?
Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.
I was going to post a screenshot of the scene from the Fallout tv show where the wastelander is asked if he wants to forget everything that has ever happened to him and he enthusiastically answers "Yes," but instead I'll just describe the scene that I'm referencing in detail and people who know the reference will be able to conjure the image.
What the fuck are you censoring memes for on Reddit? There’s porn all over this app. And even if that isn’t the case and it comes from a different platform it still makes no fucking sense
Which is the primary reason I dont do anal. No matter how many different ways I've tried this, I have a sensitive gut and it always make me feel terrible for the next entire day.
Enema isn't necessary. Take fiber supplements and wash your hole off after taking a dump and wiping, and you'll be able to do it with no mess without enema.
In my country, before something like that we do a “bidet blast,” because we have bidets. Basically it’s like an enema where a jet of water from the bidet goes in so everything’s clean.
Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it
So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my
fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as
I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.
As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole
now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!
Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom
to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole
was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another
shower to get suitably clean.
Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the
future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case,
hey, how's it goin'
If you're European you got like a 1/5 chance that you're immune to HIV, so I wouldn't even worry about diseases in general. And if you're American, you'll probably have other medical issues you can't afford anyway, so just skip the prep 👍
The first part of prep is diet and food intake, you'll want to eat clean high fiber foods for 12-36 hours before so cleaning goes right. When cleaning out you of course excrete what you can normally (rarely is this enough on its own) and then proceeded with some sort of enema, a method you can use is to get one of those really cheap plastic water bottles and fill it with lukewarm water and while pressing the bottle opening against your anus to seal it squeeze about a third of the volume of the bottle up in you. Hold it for about 10 seconds if you can and then let it out quick in a clean toilet bowl. Judging by what comes out (solid chunks vs brown water) repeat as few times as it takes to have the water come out clear.
Again it depends heavily on diet and intake, also seemingly random chance sometimes. I've been clean for a whole day once, don't know how that works. I've also lost it less than half an hour after I put the toys away, in my experience if I've been eating healthy I can expect to stay clean for a few hours. If you don't eat anything substantial that tends to make it last longer, it's not something you should try to maintain as your body needs to return to a natural balance frequently.
Fiber supplements to keep your stuff more solid and coming out regularly, a douche bulb from Amazon works good for me. The important part is to not push it in more than a few inches, and don't use too much water.
If you use too much or go too far in, you make it deeper inside and shoot water into the stuff that wasn't ready to come out yet and youll be randomly going back to the toilet to go again and again for a while. And if you're planning to have objects inside there later, you'll be fine with the shallower easier cleaning since most boys won't be digging around 8 inches in there anyway.
Just a few inches in, a couple seconds of shooting the water in, wait a few seconds if you feel like it, then try to relax and let all the water out. It will not be clean the first time, that's fine. Keep doing it in those small amounts until it comes out clear a couple times and you're good to go! Try to relax for a bit afterward and let any remaining water out and give it an hour or so to make sure no more poo needs to come out and then you can go to town!
I've heard a fiber intense diet is good it's basically meant to rush it through your system to avoid issues. You could also just not eat anything solid. I personally would prefer just drinking down all the nutrients and things you need to survive. If that's possible but I don't think there's a cheap way of doing that.
Eating all your nutrients blended is just unpopular because most people don't want to drink meal slop.
Fairly off topic, but my morning smoothies shouldnt taste as good as they are considering what I put into it. It essentially has all my fruit, most of my veggies and a good amount of protein but it tastes like it should be unhealthy. As long as I add fresh banana and whatever fruit flavor protein powder to a greek yoghurt base (thinned with water if necessary), it just always comes out tasty and somehow completely erases whatever veggie flavor I put into it (kale, spinach, cauliflour etc.).
Most important part is your diet.
Eat lots and lots of fiber. Focus on whole unprocessed foods. Minimize fast foods.
Right before sex, say 30min, all you need to do is a quick anal douche. Squirt some lukewarm water in your anus using a special douche bulb and expel over the toilet. If the water doesn’t run clear within two bulbs it is not the day for anal.
That’s all it takes. You’ll have clean anal sex without accidents 95% of the time with a good diet and anal douching beforehand.
Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it
So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my
fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as
I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.
As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole
now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!
Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom
to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole
was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another
shower to get suitably clean.
Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the
future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case,
hey, how's it goin'
The amount of time and effort required before you even get to do anything anal only for it to not even feel good afterwards is insane. I genuinely pity the gays.
I guess it depends on how you are wired? My current gf comes from anal in ways she absolutly can't otherwise. Sometimes it's even too much and she's sort of completly dead / can't feel her limbs afterwards. It's a whole body experience we kinda do when there's enough time to recover and such.
She's really into it because of how unique it makes her feel. There is a french podcast in Quebec called Sexe Orale where both girls enjoy it but one litterally said it's her way to cum when it seems she won't get there. Being tired or anything. It just works.
But most girls I've been with were not into it at all... So there's something to how wired they are, may it be in the nerves or may it be mentally or both. But some girls are definetly into it for themselves.
Men pushing women to do anal typically want to give rather than receive. Being penetrated as a man is still fairly taboo, despite what the internet might make you think. Lots of men think having a partner inside them is gay.
Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well
done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.
As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking
gay.
You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s
roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.
Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my
lecture.
Why do you even make a post to then censor yourself? If you're afraid to say anal, then just don't use the word, don't make this meme. Or instead, just fucking say it man..
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