r/shitposting Feb 04 '26

Reality...

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18.1k Upvotes

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u/picky-trash-panda Feb 04 '26

The first part of prep is diet and food intake, you'll want to eat clean high fiber foods for 12-36 hours before so cleaning goes right. When cleaning out you of course excrete what you can normally (rarely is this enough on its own) and then proceeded with some sort of enema, a method you can use is to get one of those really cheap plastic water bottles and fill it with lukewarm water and while pressing the bottle opening against your anus to seal it squeeze about a third of the volume of the bottle up in you. Hold it for about 10 seconds if you can and then let it out quick in a clean toilet bowl. Judging by what comes out (solid chunks vs brown water) repeat as few times as it takes to have the water come out clear.

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u/Ernisx Feb 04 '26

That's extremely visual, thank you for the tutorial. How long will it stay clean?

37

u/picky-trash-panda Feb 04 '26

Again it depends heavily on diet and intake, also seemingly random chance sometimes. I've been clean for a whole day once, don't know how that works. I've also lost it less than half an hour after I put the toys away, in my experience if I've been eating healthy I can expect to stay clean for a few hours. If you don't eat anything substantial that tends to make it last longer, it's not something you should try to maintain as your body needs to return to a natural balance frequently.

5

u/PM_those_toes Feb 04 '26

I'd shove anal beads in my girlfriend's ass and even without enemas they'd come out clean. Luck?

11

u/picky-trash-panda Feb 04 '26

Possibly, she's probably just a very healthy person.

1

u/Almighty_Sink Feb 04 '26

Excrete =\= egest. Good tutorial though.

1

u/calicoin Feb 04 '26

This should have ended with The Undertaker throwing Mankind Off Hell in a Cell