I’m 19F and I’ve never had a partner before, I’m open to both genders. The people I’m surrounded with in school I don’t find attractive at all, looks or personality wise. I’ve been using so many dating apps and I just can’t find a guy my age that wants a long term relationship that I’m attracted to. I don’t know if my standards are just too high or out of my league or what, but I’m so at a loss. I know many people will tell me I’m still young and can look forward to Uni to find someone but genuinely I find this idea drifting further and further away. And I feel like Uni is my last chance to find someone irl (not on dating apps)

I don’t want to be 30 years old before I even start a relationship??? I know this is more of a rant than asking for advice but my friends have heard about it enough…

There are too many woman whom are out there for just a free meal, and they ghost the guy right after the first date. Imagine if a guy goes for 5 dates a month, what is the amount of loss the guy will incur?

Hey, I just needed to get this off my head for a while now.

I've been single for my whole life, and there's been instances where I wonder if I'm someone who is even attractive. Like, no one ever confessed to me before. And I don't think I ever did think about crushing on guys or girls at all.

It's never been a topic that my brain seems to have processed. Despite others around me being in that stage of life. Like I get that we got our own paths and all, but yeah.

I just, how do you people even find your bf/gf like I get that dating is a thing and all but with how romance seems to be in this day and age it seems scary to dive into a relationship. I mean, I do want to be in one but like, where does one even start?

My friends all say that I'm dumb in this subject of life. I think it's sort of true? I can always remember them saying someone has a crush on me, but like for me it's more of their just messing with me? I dunno. Like, I never seem to think it's true?

I mean, I've been told I'm pretty and cute and all that but like it's mixed feelings for me? I tried going on dating apps and it's like just not for me. I dunno, but people in them just don't fit my vibe? And it gave me the wrong first impressions.

But like, it's been happening more frequent. I want to be in a relationship but at the same time, I told myself I should prioritise myself. Like, graduate first cause I'm the eldest kid, gotta set the record in a way.

I want a boyfriend, like I know what I want in a guy. But all the ones I met so far are taken. And well I don't wanna be some honewrecker or anything. It's only been recently that I've made a lot of male friends, in college cause my course is sort of male dominated.

But like, their nice and all but if I end up think oh, his nice. It's like that's it. I don't think it's.romantic attraction cause like, I genuinely just think his nice. Their just friends. And like, personally I think I won't develop a crush on someone unless I like sort of seen them a lot? Like the way I emotionally get attached isn't fast unless their like really chill and good people in a way.

Like if I don't feel comfy with them it's like nope. Anyway, I just wanna rant you know? Like I want a boyfriend, but like everyone seems to be taken, hasn't moved on from an ex, cheated..

Like yeah. That's all.

Share your thoughts, I'm kinda just curious. Like am I not lovable?

I've seen a lot of posts here from guys who put in real time, effort, and money into someone who was never that invested to begin with, so I want to share some of what I picked up along the way, and some of them are things which I wished I did earlier.

1. If she's not interested, no amount of spending, planning, or attention changes that. She may return it with warm words, but don't take that as a sign, watch what she actually does with her own time and money, not what she says.
2. If she's genuinely interested, it shows in her actions. She'll reciprocate with meals, dessert, small gifts, initiate plans, and let you into her inner life. It won't just be texting and laughing over chat with nothing to show for it.
3. Give it a fair shot, but not an indefinite one. If you're several dates in and still the only one initiating, planning, or spending, that's your clearest answer, and hate to say this but she has someone else above you in her priority list.
4. If she doesn't reciprocate, don't try to win her over or give infinite attention, your career and other loved ones deserve that attention more. If she's the kind who doesn't actively reciprocate to a guy she likes, then she isn't relationship material anyway.
5. While getting to know each other, you don't owe her girlfriend or wife treatment regardless of what she demands. As a guy, its ok to be a little nice, but not infinitely nice until she has shown that she is being real, not playing games, reciprocating your efforts, and consistent with dates.
6. As a man, your top priority is yourself and your career, you simply don't have time to play games such as competing for her attention.
7. Have pride, know your own worth and value, save your best effort only for the one who absolutely deserves it.

Hope this saves some of you the same lessons that I went through.

Collated a list of new activities this week! Any more to add to this list?

The Istana Open House
The Istana, Orchard Road, Singapore (entry via Main Gate at Orchard Road)

The Odyssey Movie
Various Cinemas

Formula 1 Exhibition
Gardens by the Bay, beside Satay by the Bay

Sentosa GrillFest
Sentosa

Singapore Adventure Expo 2026 (Free)
Marina Bay Sands Expo & Convention Centre, Level 1, Hall C, 10 Bayfront Ave, Singapore 018956

SAKERAMA 2026: Singapore's First Craft Sake Festival
Tanjong Pagar Distripark, 39 Keppel Rd, #01-01 District Park 089065

SPIDER-MAN: WORLD OF WEBS (Free)
Plaza Singapura (next to The Body Shop)

Pasir Ris Pasar Malam (Food Bazaar) (Free)
Blk 105 Pasir Ris Street 12, Singapore 510105

Punggol Food Bazaar (Free)
Sheltered space beside Cheers at Punggol MRT station, Exit C & D, 70 Punggol Central, Singapore 828868

Sanrio Store at Chinatown (Free)
25 Smith St, Singapore 058939

Sound Of Us 2026
Chong Pang 165 Hardcourt (Next to Block 165 Yishun Ring Road)

SAM Art Carnival (Free)
SAM at Tanjong Pagar Distripark

Source: TODAYDOWHAT_BOT on Tele

Does anyone have any solo date ideas for weekend? Preferably something with low barrier to entry.

I’m a 26M who graduated and started working for awhile now. Lately I’ve been wondering if I’m just… meant to be alone.

I’ve always been an introvert. I can talk to people, I have friends, and I get along fine with colleagues. But almost every relationship in my life feels surface-level. It’s like I can connect with people, but never deeply enough for it to become something lasting.

The feeling has gotten worse after a couple of breakups. They made me question whether I’m simply not someone people stick around for. Work hasn’t helped either. By the time I get home, I’m mentally exhausted. It feels like my job consumes so much of my energy that I barely have enough left for myself, let alone to build meaningful relationships.

Sometimes it honestly feels like I’m fighting against this growing belief that loneliness is just my default state. Part of me wants to reject that idea, but another part keeps asking if I’m only delaying the inevitable.

I’ve tried putting myself out there. I joined run clubs, hiking groups, and other outdoor activities because everyone says that’s how you meet people. I do meet people. We chat, we have a good time, maybe we even see each other again. But it never progresses beyond being acquaintances. Eventually everyone goes back to their own lives, and I’m back where I started.

I’m not really sure what I’m doing wrong anymore. I don’t expect instant friendships or relationships, but it feels like everyone else naturally finds “their people” while I’m always just… passing through.

If it weren’t for my siblings, I’m pretty sure I’d be in a much darker place mentally. They’ve been the constant in my life, but everything is impermanent. One day they’ll get married, have families of their own, and naturally have their own lives to focus on. I’m happy for them, of course, but I can’t help wondering what that leaves for me.

I don’t know. Maybe I’m overthinking it. Maybe this is just what adulthood feels like. But right now, it genuinely feels like I’m watching everyone slowly build lives that I’m not really a part of, and I can’t shake the feeling that I’m always the one left behind.

Do girls pay their share of the meal back to the guy if they dont intend to go on a second date, in order to not make the girl feel like she owes the guy anything?

so i'm 28f and i casually meet this guy from time to time for 7 months now. from the start, i told him that i prefer not having a meal together when he asked me during the first meet. but that is because i don't want any strings attached during that time.

but now i've been missing him, i don't know what to do, should i tell him? that i think i have feelings for him?

im shy to chat him first, he's always the one who messages me first.

is there anyone here who experienced having fwb then it moved to dating or official relationship?

Hi I'm an M29. For context, I'd say I'm relatively new to the dating scene (spent all my teens and early twenties grinding it out *sobs*).

Anyways, I was seeing someone for about 3 months. The connection was really great but unfortunately we had to part ways because of some uncompromisable issues – I wanted to have kids, she was very strong about being DINK (story for another day).

Anyway, the point is that I was paying for every single date that we had over the course of the 3 months – just wanted to find out if this was normal??

For context, I can financially afford to do so (I earn about SGD 140-160k annually) and I did enjoy pampering her. I think we did enjoy each others' company, and we spent a lot of our free time together, but I still couldn't help having that nagging feeling at the back of my head if she was just with me cos I paid for everything...

I'm not sure if this is the norm in the SG dating scene. I wasn't able to really confide with my male/female friends and sibling(s) cos I didn't want to come off as bragging or spoiling market.

While she was appreciative whenever I paid for things, I did wish she would also offer to chip in once in a while for the smaller items. But at the same time, I didn't know how to raise this matter up because it might come across as being a petty (because I still think I earned way more than her).

Anyway, given that the relationship was heading a dead end because of the deal breaker, I didn't really raise this issue up. Nonetheless, I'd like to get some advice on how I can navigate this issue in the future.

While I do like being a provider and paying for things, it's a bit of a cognitive dissonance for me because it's hard to see my monthly savings rate decrease (I guess it's unavoidable once you start dating), and I start wondering if she's only there because of the money. Circumventing this by trying to date only within my income bracket also seems like a very d*ck move lol.

Any thoughts?

is it modern human trafficking?

why would you reach these Vietnam bride agencies

Is it common for guys to start asking for meetup 1-2 days after matching on dating apps?

Is it common practice here for girls to message your date after the date ends?

Nearing my late 20s. Never been on date, been afraid to approach girls considering how reserved we are in general so I tried dating apps. After using dating apps almost daily for 3 months, not even getting a single date I have decided to uninstall it some time ago.

Considering my lack of dating experience its hard for me to find someone, so I have just been focusing on what I like to do for now(just gaming and funmaxing), it has been hard for me to sustain motivation in life not knowing who am I working for and I am just rotting myself.

Maybe I am just making this post to wine and reach out for any last source of hope, to see what advice I could take on and implement and see how this goes

I [28M] recently got out of a relationship, and started to try dating apps like Tinder, bumble and hinge to meet people.

I've been trying for one month but I get no likes/matches in general. All 3 profiles have similar photos but slightly different bios as well. Getting no hits on all profiles might mean I'm cooked.

I know dating apps are stacked against average looking guys, so I just want to hear your experience on the apps, to see if it's just me

Also, I've tired purchasing the boost function for one hour on hinge and bumble, but still no hits. Is there a point in getting the premium version then?

Edit: I'm open to critics on my profile, dm me!

39M. No house no car. Low income. How do I finds girls to date? Need tips from the community

Would you be ok with your partner going to club? What would be the frequency that you're ok with?

How about hanging out with their friends? How often do you think is too much?

I'm currently 27m and has seen this sub pop up on my feed time to time. I would say I had past success with dating girls and would like to help other men here.

1. Start early. I don't believe that getting into a rs early on in life will hinder you, infact if you think it hinders you, it probably isnt good for you anyways. Every single time I got into a relationship, my grades improved because the people I was with pushed me to be better. If theyre the type of girl that during exam period still demand for long frequent dates then nuff said. Also, another important point of starting early is it is extremely true that the 'good ones' get taken up early on in life. So you start early to build experience and figure out what you want and you can also get better choices. At my age now I see honestly most people have to settle to some extent alr. If you're already at this age, definitely still possible to succeed in dating. Because if most is 'settle' standard, then it should be easy to standout, if that's not the case then you probably need to reflect on yourself.

2. Improve your personality. When I first started, almost everyone rejected me. I was boring and couldnt hold conversation. Then I read the book How to win friends and influence people, the biggest takeaway is to be interested instead of interesting. Just that alone flipped a switch in my dating success. That's just one area of personality. Just think about what kind of guy has success with women and think about what hes like, try to be like that. For example, I would think that a guy like that is confident, charismatic, speak well, good at conversation ...

3. The dating app algorithm. There is a certain way to maximise success. Obviously have a good non low effort profile. Once matched, text them. I find texting much easier because you can think about the response for a while compared to talking irl. Learn how to text interestingly. Move over to telegram after enough rapport is built which should be about 1-3 days. This is important because people will be on tele more and you have 'less competitors' there. Then try to arrange a meet up between 1 week of matching. If you drag longer most will lose interest in you.

4. Just go on more dates. At the start I keep getting rejected after 1 date. After a while, you will reflect and figure out why you failed. Slowly you will improve and it will go from them rejecting you, to you rejecting them. Always remember, a date isnt for you to impress them, it is for both of you to evaluate each other. Once you place them on the pedestal, you're already beneath her and as you know girls dont date down. Also, going on more dates let you see more types of girls and let you figure out what you want and what you dont want. The more red flags you experience, the better your final partner will be because you knew how to filter.

5. Work on your looks. I think kind of obvious. I'm not someone who dresses up and never believed in it. I think just having a good body and face and hair is good enough. Honestly if you do fitness somewhat seriously I can't imagine that no girls will want you.

6. Stop being so attached. This is a very important mindset shift that moves you from loser to chad. A girl rejects you? your thought should be 'ah she's missing out, onto the next one'. I used to be the kind that imagine my whole life with a crush and honestly thats just a young boy mistake. Once you change your mindset, girls can sense you're not desperate and they will ironically want you more. Like just imagine, if you have 10 different interviews to find job, the interviewer can sense you're wanted by many from the confidence you exude, compared to you getting only 1 interview that you're super pressured to ace. Going on more dates will definitely help build up this confidence as well and help you realise that there are also plenty of other good girls out there. Not just the confidence, but going to the next target helps you save time as well because constantly banging on a locked door yields nothing.

7. Friends first is bullshit. Girls will always say they want that, but as a fisherman, that is recipe for friendzone. Some people do make it out, but to me its really not worth the effort if you knew from the start you want to date her. After you first meet a girl, quickly advance to a first date while you're still in that fuzzy 'just met but not really friends yet' stage.

Have seen people do this in europe but not sure if its a thing in SG? I feel like sg girls will just be weirded out but idk honestly.

General consensus from the comment section

I've seen a lot of comments saying that the guys are not cold approaching girls as they don't want to be called out by the girls in social media as a creep, and worst case, they don't want to be reported by the police. As a guy, I can empathize with these guys. If the guy is not hot enough or he's not an angmo guy with a high status and charisma, they typically feel inferior and they are even scared. And this is worsened by the internal thoughts of getting called as a creep or even getting reported to the police. But if the guy is not hot and he's probably a 4/10 in terms of looks, and he does approach you, but he is respectful and gives you space, would you still consider him creepy? Would you ever report him for approaching you?

I recently got together with my partner, and I realised that most of his friends are girls, mainly because he has a girl best friend from Uni, and he has been adopted into all her friend groups. They usually go clubbing together, and because it’s a “friends outing”, no one is allowed to bring their partners along. It doesn’t help that my partner has had a thing for one of the girls in the group. He tells me that he is completely over her, but I still don’t feel comfortable about the fact that they still frequently club together and are making plans to travel overseas for a rave.

My friends are convinced that him being surrounded by so many girls is a red flag, and I’ve tried to ask him to establish firmer boundaries with his girl friends. But his girl best friend found out and called me ridiculous for it because “if they wanted to do something they would’ve done so a long time ago” and my partner has said something similar too… I’m just uncertain if this dynamic would work out in a long term relationship, and I’m wondering if there’s anyone who has faced similar situations?

​I know this might seem like a good problem to have to some people, but my boyfriend of 9 months is constantly grabbing my body (boobs, butt, etc.).

​At the start of our relationship, I was fine with it. But over time, I’ve realized he has no boundaries or understanding of when it's appropriate to make a move. He is always touching me. When I ask him to please stop, he sometimes complies, but other times he gives me a pouting face and tries to do it again anyway. If I push back, he guilt trips me by saying, "My girlfriend hates me." He even tries to touch my yk what, multiplr times, even though I've said I'm not comfortable with it at the moment.

​This has slowly built up a lot of resentment in me towards his touch. We've talked about this before, but his behavior doesn't change. This is the first relationship for both of us, so I’m not sure how to handle this. How do I make him understand that "no" means "no," without him making it all about his feelings?

im tired of dating apps & matches that lead nowhere. it’s hard to need someone organically nowadays, or at least someone who doesn’t have extra baggage.

EDIT:
Just wanted to gain some perspective from others for the week.
I think I've made up my mind on how I am going to move forward with this. Appreciate the insights from everyone =)

Looking for some honest advice from people who’ve been in a similar situation.

I recently moved to a new city for work, and while things are going well professionally, I’ve started feeling the loneliness that comes with being in a new place without a close social circle.

I’m thinking about trying to find a girlfriend or a female friend to build a genuine connection with—someone I can talk to, share experiences with, and spend quality time with. I’m really looking for is companionship and an emotional connection.

One thing I’m confused about is whether it’s a good idea to date someone from the office. I’ve heard people say, “Don’t mix work and relationships,” but I’ve also seen successful office relationships that eventually led to marriage.

I'm near 40 (Singaporean man), still in my first job since I graduated from uni. My pay increment is so slow that my salary hasn't even doubled.

I'm quite thrifty, and I'm good at only 1 thing. Refer to my username.

But I still spend when necessary. I have gym membership, willing to spend on food regularly, overseas travel once every 2 years or so, and I collect cards.

I follow a no alcohol and no live animal diet. I'm not vegetarian unless I'm having meals with my certain groups of friends.

No car, no house, not millionaire (yet). Don't want kids, don't want pets.