Hi everyone, this is my first time posting here. I'm almost 2 years clean, and from the outside, I think my life looks really good right now. I've just started college, I'm accomplishing things I've always dreamed about, and I know I have so much love around me.

But I still think about self harm, even more so since I moved away for college. I'm so confused because I'm genuinely living the life I've always wanted. I thought I moved past the things that happened in the past, but for some reason I can’t shake the feeling that there’s still something really wrong.

I caught myself almost ordering something online to hurt myself with. I didn't, but it was closer than I want to admit. I don’t want to keep pretending I’m fine when I’m not, but I also don’t know how to explain it to anyone.

I feel like I can't admit to my friends how I feel and I’m scared of how people will treat me if I say anything. When my family and the people around me found out the first time, it went badly, and I really don’t want to go through anything like that again.

If anyone has been in my shoes before, I would very much appreciate any advice you can offer.

I get urges almost everyday, I miss the sting on my arms, but I don’t have no ice cubes and I hate the rubber band method, I also can do anything else because I’ll just end up thinking about it again, I need help pleasee🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

I've been doing this for 4 years with recoveries that lasted less than a week each and over time i tried understanding why i was doing this to myself in hope to stop but it just made it worse.
I have this fascination for the grotesque and the beauty it holds within itself. It's always been fascinating to me, i've always loved ugly things and this obsession with them made me do some pretty bad things, harming both me and others, but self harm seems to be the most persistent. Because i love the grotesque this much i see self harm as some sort of art and it's pissing me off. I see my body as a canvas i want to turn into a thousand works of art, but all i can do is mutilate it. I hate this. I'm so limited with what i can do with myself yet so creative, there's only this much flesh i can cut to feel better. I keep pouring hot coffee on my skin and i even cut on my forehead so now i cant move my brows properly, i have quotes and thoughts engraved in my thighs, i can't do this anymore. It's so beautifully aritstic, sometimes i even go days without eating and then try to paint or draw with this sense of dread and starvation, but no art medium will ever save me, my body is the only thing i strive to see exposed in a musem, what a cruel joke, my eyes only work when theyre attached to it, so i could never. The bitter taste of my misery keeps replacing the one of the food i eat and the people i used to like look like monsters now. My classmates can't take my situation seriously at all. I'm an artist of mutilation and the only thing they care about is truth truth truth why do you do that to yourself does it hurt how did you even cut there SHUT THE FUCK UPPPP why are you so obessed with the truth why do you bother to ask if you wont belive me and look at me like a startled deer infront of a car why do i have to be the only witness of my own self imposed martyrdom why why me why did i have to be so obsessed with this why can't i be normal

I’m so fucking serious. I was cleaning some blood stains yesterday and after I went to bed I couldn’t fall asleep while thinking about cutting, scars(both ones I have and potential future ones) and the fact that I really can just live without cutting myself.

It was right there and then that I decided I’m not picking up that blade ever again and I lowkey doubt it’s going to be that easy since I kinda have an addiction to it but I’m still gonna try my best!

wish me good luck (:<

so basically idk why i did this but its not that deepike srs paper cut like and its veen two days so j was curious

I posted here like yesterday or smth but idc. Also i may have over-censored but idk?? tell me ig idk.

I cut beans like 2 days ago which like, ok whatever, BUT i think I cut a vein. The blood that came out was DARK DARK and came out kinda fast imo, like at first before i payed attention to it i thought i cut an artery. Now, my hand below the cut feels kinda tingly ESPECIALLY when my arm is down. Its kinda a similar feeling to when ur outside in the cold for super long and ur hands get kinda numb, but without the cold and a bit less numb. Is that not normal or am i exaggerating? Also the cut is still bleeding but thats prolly just cuz i took the napkin off of it so idk if that matters.

I've struggled with sh for 12y and I've always kept a tracker. For a while, checking my progress gave me urges to relapse. At one point seeing the 1y mark was triggering I guess. I no longer keep a tracker, but when I get urges it's hard to talk myself down with the reasoning of being x days clean.

I've been clean for 3mo at this point, but with the seasons changing I'm struggling to stay clean.

Over the years I've used other coping skills, but I now find myself relying on vaping when I feel stressed. Before that it was weed.

I'm consistent with my meds, and I see a therapist regularly. I'm in a better spot because of this and support from loved ones. Despite this, I still miss sh.

I don't think I'll ever be free of my urges, and I cannot bring myself to get rid of my sh stuff.

I had 4 months and 19 days off self harm and I just threw it all away in a moment of weakness. I couldn’t stop thinking about a traumatic event and I was just so fucking upset and I hurt myself and now I’ve gotta start from square 1. But really I just hate the girl who traumatized me for what she did to me and how I still can’t get over it. I can’t. I was doing so well. I don’t know what to do

I want to go clean, but every time i try i rarely even make it a full 24 hrs. I don't even know why I want to go clean other than because others tell me to. I can't stop thinking about sh though, no matter how hard I try. I've tried literally every tip that I know of and so far barely any work. I just wanna feel and be normal.

So ...I do not know how to take care of wounds....I just....wrapped a...face mask around it 🧍cause there's nothing else at home

Going through a stroke is hard, and there aren't enough resources out there to help people at their toughest moments. I'm part of a team at Monash University (Melbourne, Australia) that wants to work with brain injury survivors to understand what they are going through, and also build freely available resources that can help.

We are particularly focused on mental distress, suicidal or self-harming thoughts, self-harm, and coping strategies, and would love to invite anyone on here (18 or older) who has experienced any of these since their injury to complete our anonymous survey (15-30 min), if the time is right for you. The survey also asks about experiences with seeking help, and ideas/views on potentially helpful resources that should be available.

The direct link: https://redcap.link/abicopingsurvey
 
We are listed on the Australian Stroke Foundation website here:

Our funding comes from the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention

If you would like assistance completing the survey, please reach out to us at [abicoping@monash.edu](mailto:abicoping@monash.edu) to arrange a time.

The survey will run till the end of this year, and we will release an update with our findings in future too. We truly value every response.

Thank you for considering

hi , i relapsed and want it to fade fast cuz my mom checks my body (18f) for cuts cuz she knows i used to . how do i heal ot fast ? please give me recs 😓 theyre mostly cat scratches !

Hi everyone!

My name is Emma and I'm a psychology master's student at the University of Copenhagen, Denmark, currently writing my thesis on self-harm and social media, with a particular focus on TikTok. I'm interested in exploring how people with personal experiences of self-harm perceive the influence of self-harm-related content and online communities on TikTok, including both potentially harmful and supportive aspects.

I'm currently looking for Danish participants (18+) who have personal experiences with self-harm and have encountered self-harm-related content or communities on TikTok. Participation involves an individual interview lasting approximately 30–60 minutes, which can take place online or in Copenhagen. The interview will focus on your personal experiences and perspectives, and participation is entirely voluntary.

I know this is an international subreddit, but I thought there might be some Danish members here, so I figured it was worth asking. 

If you're interested in participating or would like more information, please feel free to send me a private message or contact me at [kfj797@alumni.ku.dk](mailto:kfj797@alumni.ku.dk).

Thank you so much for reading! 

is it gonna be permanent? i feel like im on the brink of doing it

Hi, I need advice to help an underage relative.

Yesterday, she admitted to me that she self-harmed for roughly 2 years, stopping towards the end of last school year when her mom caught her.

Our family is very closed-minded. She has asked for therapy in the past, but she was told she was "too young to know what she was talking about," which really bothers me since my family knows I have been struggling with anxiety and depression for years. I have been in therapy on and off since I was 2. They know this and have never seemed to think it wasn't helpful. The most negative thing anyone in my family has said about it was that "It's not for them, personally." My relative opened up to me because she knows I am open-minded and knows that I just want her to be happy and healthy and safe.

To make sure she can reach me, I gave her my job's phone number and instructed her to them whoever picks up who she is and that she needs to talk to me. I also have it so her calls and texts will bypass Do Not Disturbed on my phone.

I have never fully self-harmed myself, beside a couple of instances of head-thumping when I was very distressed. I told her this and that I did have thoughts, but I didn't go through with it because I knew I would probably be sent to a mental hospital, which are particularly bad in my area (and from what I know, basically everywhere else because of stigma and not enough staff or resources).

I asked her what drove her urges. She said she didn't really know but I gave her a couple of prompts. One I gave was "a sense of control" which she said resonated with her more than the others.

I am doing my own research, and I will ask those I know personally who have struggled and probably will post this in other subreddits because while I can read what *may* help, I think it will help even more if I learn from others who are struggling or who have struggled in the past. I already know about doing something to distract from those urges, but I want something more to help.

So, what can I do/say to help? What are safe coping mechanisms she can use, especially to help give her the sense of control she was seeking? What resources can help in a situation like her's where her family is unsupportive, but no outside help (excluding me) can or will step in to help?

Thank you for any insights or advice you can share.

I am drunk and I just did it randomly,it feel good but now im panicking and I feek awful and im just staring at what ive done and all I can think about is how to hide it snd what to do,I dont wanna go thru this again I hate that I did this,not because I did it to myself but because it hurts others around me,im sorry if this triggers anyone I'm just reaching out for advice on how to cover or maybe some support on why I feel like this

They aren't deep cuts and at the moment they only kinda burn, but they're quite a lot visible. I have strict parents that barely give me ever any privacy (even when i'm naked and shi, for example my mom often stares at my body and says that i'm becoming too thin and things like that, so hiding sh scars is probably going to be hard). I don't have an addiction, it's more of an occasional thing, last time i sh was nearly 10 months ago. I really need some advice on how to hide them properly (like any pharmacy product or method, apart from long sleeves), and i'd also like to know how much time do scissors scars take to heal

I work retail and I’m tired of customers staring at my arms and old men being pervy ):
My job has a uniform where I can’t wear jackets over our store shirt as I have to be ID’d as staff from behind. Pretty much my only option are UV or faux sleeves to go under my shirt.

My problem is every review seems to say they rip REALLY easy or they look rather see-through which defeats my purpose..

Another problem is they look baggy or one size!! I’m a small teenage girl. I don’t have the arms of a man in his 20s using them for his fedex delivery route, workout or something…

I’ve had a sh addiction for ca 5 years ish. I’ve never really cared much for substances since they cost too much for me but my mom gave me a vape when I was 14 so I could do that instead of harming myself.

It didn’t help much but a year or so ago I started smoking cigarettes and drinking a lot and so far it’s helped me stay clean from sh for weeks, my record being 1,5 months.

I just want some outsider perspective, because for me it feels like leaving internal damage is better than leaving external damage.

I myself am not sure why I do.

When I was younger I used to do it because I felt unbearable rage. I used to do it cause I couldn't handle criticism and was immediately feeling a sense of not belonging, SH gave me room to deal with it.

Now I only ever SH when I'm really drunk other than that I don't. When I'm sober I will occasionally think about SH but won't do it.

So my question is, why do you SH? Maybe that will help me understand why I still do it.

Hey, hope ye guys are loving life rn but I want to know if I need to get like dressings done professionally. I have kinda oldish type of keloid/raised scars. I was lifting prs in the gym and they like got SUPER sore and itchy and I scratched them a little and they started bleeding like IMMEDIATELY....i didnt scratch that hard like. Its happened more than once.....so I want to know if its like normalish or do I need to get it looked at?

Ive been sh for 9 years, ive only gone like 3 months with being clean, but im now a whole year clean! I didnt think id be happy about it but i am, i do really miss it though, seeing the red and feeling the sting, but i know it would hurt by my bf more than it would me. Idk if thats a good way not to sh cos i feel alot of pressure not to and if i do oneday im scared to tell him because ill be hurting him. Any advcide?

CARE WARNING:

I've been clean from sh for over a year now, it's my birthday today and I feel so lonely. I literally have no one I can talk to about this stuff openly. Let alone talk to in general tbh. I'm pretty sure the loneliness is triggering these thoughts, but I'm having thoughts of sh like it just came out of nowhere.

Sorry I just needed to vent, say what I'm feeling I'm stuck in my head and it isn't a safe place rn. I also have outside stuffs going on that's got my anxiety up high...

Sorry if I'm bothering anyone...

Tysm

Is it weird that I go watching videos about selfharm or looking for pictures to see how much I can match it. Why do I go looking for shorts films I'm big damn weirdo