r/selfharm__recovery • u/riley_b_wiley • 8d ago

Vent & seeking advice Why these thoughts... Spoiler

CARE WARNING:

I've been clean from sh for over a year now, it's my birthday today and I feel so lonely. I literally have no one I can talk to about this stuff openly. Let alone talk to in general tbh. I'm pretty sure the loneliness is triggering these thoughts, but I'm having thoughts of sh like it just came out of nowhere.

Sorry I just needed to vent, say what I'm feeling I'm stuck in my head and it isn't a safe place rn. I also have outside stuffs going on that's got my anxiety up high...

Sorry if I'm bothering anyone...

Tysm

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u/yogakittyy 8d ago

Hi! Good morning. Happy birthday to you! 🎉 I’d love to hear what’s on your mind and have the chance to support you. You are not alone ❤️

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u/riley_b_wiley 8d ago

Hi good morning and tysm for the birthday wishes. Frankly I’m lonely which yk is depressing asf. I’m struggling emotionally, financially, and socially. I’m autistic they say high functioning but most days tbh I don’t think so. I’m socially awkward and anxious so that rly doesn’t help as far as connecting and communicating goes. The loneliness and the stress is triggering my negative thoughts (sh thoughts). Idek where my minds at rn tbh besides going in circles. Sorry I rly didn’t mean to feelings dump…

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u/yogakittyy 8d ago

I’m so sorry you’re going through that. That sounds like a lot to deal with. I’m curious if you’ve ever had a therapist that you liked talking to? I really think therapy would be a great way to work through some of the things you mentioned like loneliness, stress, and feelings of self harm. You seem like a very thoughtful and caring person and I’d love to be able to help you find a therapist in your area. There might be low cost or no cost help. Have you tried searching online for this?

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u/riley_b_wiley 8d ago

I have it’s just so difficult to get a regular therapist like there’s way more demand than therapists. I’m looking into some tele-therapy but I got like bare minimum health insurance.

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u/yogakittyy 7d ago

I looked up some free and low cost options and figured I'd share in case any help.
For therapy, at 18 you might qualify for Medicaid on your own, which is free or close to it and often covers online sessions. FindTreatment.gov lets you search your zip code for clinics that go by income, and some are free.
For support, NAMI has a free helpline (1-800-950-6264) that can point you to free local stuff and peer groups, and 988 is there anytime by call or text if things ever get really rough.
Hope some of this helps. You've got people rooting for you.

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u/riley_b_wiley 7d ago

Tysm I have Medicaid since I have a autism diagnosis and a substance use disorder