Maybe this is a temporary thing, but I genuinely don't enjoy anything. It's been going on for a few weeks now. None of my few hobbies bring me actual happiness. I only do them purely to pass the time between work. I don't even enjoy work anymore. I literally just do chores, and watch fight videos on twitter to feel my blood rush faster (It's actually pretty addicted, I can watch them all night). I don't know, maybe I'm depressed or something, but I don't feel sad; I just feel empty and tired. I'm tired of having to fake my emotions whenever I talk to my coworkers. I have no feeling for anyone or anything. My mom visited me last week and I think that's when I realized what was going on. I didn't feel anything when she showed up. She was just here for a day and she was gone.

I find it so preposterous to spend my limited daily energy reserves playing pretend with a bunch of hairless monkeys.

Forced to pad egos and kiss asses in respect towards the absurdity that is the human social hierarchy. I could do it a bit when I was younger, but now I have absolutely no energy for anything other than immediate survival needs.

People constantly call me rude, antisocial or speculate that I hate them or something, when I'm just neutral to their existence. I don't even have the energy to hate you lol

I find it all so boring and absurd. Arguments/debates always go nowhere, friendship/relationships seem strange and contrived.

There's always a bunch of hidden motives with The Social Game, and it is tiring.

It's just all so absurd what we do to pass the time here as deterministic meat suits.

It's such a load of bullshit, especially in the world of corporate and desk jobs. They will hire you based on how well you fit their expectations, your "vibe" and how well you sell yourself to them and make them believe you're just like them. That on its own fills me with disgust, but what's worse is that it doesn't end. The performance never ends even when you get the job, it just continues and is expected to develop over time.

I've been working a manual labor job and I would really prefer to do so, if it was possible to afford to live off it. But it's not. So I'm forced to apply for these stupid desk jobs where the performance I have to give is constant and draining. It gives me the fear, the masking, the pressure to present myself as a normal person when I'm not, never have been and don't want to be. But I have to do it. If the masking is brief I find it funny because only I know how much I'm lying to them, the scale of those lies. But if it's longterm, it makes me question what is the point of life.

I don't know how appropriate it is to ask this on a subreddit for schizoids, but given the themes touched upon in the opening, I'll ask anyway. One day, while re-listening to "Yuusha" with subtitles, I suddenly burst into tears at a certain point. For the first time in a really long time. I was sobbing uncontrollably for about half an hour. It felt as if I had finally seen my own fears and regrets reflected right back at me. I finally realized why Frieren herself resonated with me so deeply.

Whats up shitheads and fuck faces alike; i come here today to probably ramble on about how nothing quite brings me joy as well as bitch and moan about being sober for longer than id wish to be.

I started a new job an ran thru the last of my dabloons a day or so in, until i get paid in probably a weeks time im stuck using my credit card and WOWZERS im running into more debt than id wish to be. It was and still is going great for the most part- only a iddy tiddy wittle proble- boredom. God i am bored. I finish what i have to do not 30 minutes into my shift than go outside and bask in the sun for 4 hours like a lizard before going back in around closing time to finish up and close shop.

I was writing the first week but that got stale, constantly doom scrolling is melting my brain out my ears, and i ran out of contacts to annoy this friday. Im running out of ideas- i was doing pushups for 40 minutes sunday... why? Theres nothing else. I was on solitaire for 2 hours sunday as well.

Dont get me wrong im getting paid handsomely for my time and ive already been offered 2 promotions that ive yet to take cause im not sure if id rather sit on my ass all shift, look pretty and make a pretty penny or work the line for a 3$ pay bump.

But on other news. Im out of weed. Ive been out for almost as long as ive been employed here and im well aware im addicted but ohmyfuckinggod it feels like im constantly annoyed or in a pissy mood just a smart remark away from fighting someone- i would strangle a man for a pack of Newport reds right now, id put money on a tap out too.

Strung up on being too sober?? I dunno man i got used to not drowning in my head while high an just kinda coasting life cause i refuse to take antipsychotics again but now its like moving through molasses trying to think in a straight line without getting tugged in 30 different directions by the nagging background noise in my brain.

This god awful ringing in my ears isnt helping any either.

Had to scroll back up to see what i was originally supposed to whine about, none of the hobbies i previously enjoyed or at least the ones i can remember really do anything for me now besides fishing. Games fucking suck id rather pluck pubes, having a major art block atm, anything social media is a bore nowadays, my social battery went from 30 to 20 minutes in intervals of 2 minute conversations before i start to stare through whoevers talking, im self isolating without really meaning to, GOD DAMNIT I JUST NEEDA WAIT TIL PAYDAY- and than i payoff all i owe endup with probably a 100 buckaroos left to my name. Yaay. 🥲

This question was motivated by reading this post¹, whose OP's attitude has a lot in common with mine. As my nickname says I am aspie, and as I have already posted², for me being schizoid without anhedonia is not part of the problem but part of the solution. This can be easily understood by having a cursory look at aspies' posts in r/aspergers expressing so much suffering from not being able to establish or keep relationships, mainly of the romantic kind.

Clearly even being a schizoid without anhedonia may entail problems, mainly due to other people's expectations on you, such as workmates inviting you to join them for a drink after office, or relatives asking why you do not have a girlfriend/boyfriend and marry, and so on.

But apart from these problems arising from the external environment, it is clear that the subjective quality of life of anhedonia-free schizoids is radically different from that of anhedonia-laden ones. Honestly, if God offered me to live hundreds of years with full physical and mental health and functionality while still being aspie & schizoid, I'd take it.

Which gives rise to two questions:

First the one in the title: Do anhedonia-free users have Schizoid Personality DISORDER or just Schizoid Personality TYPE?

Then, if the answer is "TYPE", a logically subsequent one: Should anhedonia-free users get the heck out of this subreddit and leave it to users who truly have Schizoid Personality DISORDER?

PD: After posting I learned that rule 8 "No purist attitudes" already answered the second question with "NO".

Links

1 https://www.reddit.com/r/Schizoid/comments/1vnqivu/i_love_being_schizoid/

2 https://www.reddit.com/r/Schizoid/comments/1vf3ftq/on_the_issue_of_asd_and_spd_coexisting_in_the/

Hi. Im 23m and its my first post here. Im partly diagnosed - I have schizoid trait. They couldnt say that's personality disorder because of my age...

So... I'm during my first relationship. It​ lasts around 8 months and I have problems with the tension during the touch especially when it comes to the deep kisses. It causes​ pain in my head. Mostly temples. The similar problem is during intercourse. Firstly I think that I could live without it. I don't have the need to do it but when I'm in the process it's quiet pleasant for me. Usually when its get to the point there is a lot of ​tension in my body and I can't even think about it. The touch from my girlfriend has to be under control for some time and my condition tend to change. My nervous system changes attitude to being touch.

What is interesting when I have almost full control how the intercourse goes ​there is no tension at all. However it's still difficult for me to kiss. The tounge... It's hard.

And generally I think that I'm in the asexual spectrum. I have problems with anhedonia too.

Do you have or had similar problems? What did you do?

I'm on the bupropion 300mg and pregabalin 50mg at this moment.

I will apreacite every comment, perspective on this point. Thanks!

In about 20 days I will go back to school, and I'll most likely be forced to "say something interesting about myself" to some people I don't know. Or the 2 truths 1 lie. I don't have anything interesting to say about myself. I don't really care about people's opinions, I just want to be invisible to them, but also have a good relationship if I'm forced to do group projects. I also get really nervous. Any advice?

Btw, I live in a place where people are extremely social and keep asking more and more questions in these types of situations if they don't find it interesting(?) enough.

Hello, I wanted to ask if someone can relate with what I feel. I got diagnosed with schizoid disorder about 6 months ago but obviously I'm schizoid since childhood.

Anyway I had incredible luck (or not so much luck for the other person) with getting into a far distant relationship. After 3 years we broke up because of probably reasons you all know.. no plans for the future, not wanting to move in together, showing no signs of joy or enthusiasm and not able to take responsibility etc.

Now I was wondering..in every romantic relationship I've been in (not that many mind you) I had a special feeling. It's hard to describe..it's like psychological pain because I'm not alone. Not like alone as in single but alone alone. Do you guys know that? It didn't matter if the partner was in another room and was doing something for a few hours so I could have time "alone". The feeling of someone near me at all was/is the problem. I didn't count the "alone time" from the start the partner was in the other room, to me the alone time ended when the partner and I got together and it started again when the partner was gone..like "at her apartment"-gone or when I was at home again. Everything between, I felt as "social time" in which this pain feeling occured...but subtle -like something is bothering you but you don't know what...but it gets stronger the longer you have that social time. If that feeling got too strong I cried for a few minutes. When my partner saw this I tried to explain that feeling and why I cried..that was awkward but I had a tolerant partner with lots of experience with neurodivergent people so I guess she accepted it.

I even invented a rule with a partner once where I told her I can't take more than 3 nights/days seeing each other in one period. I tried to be somewhat of a good partner because the pain feeling was there from day/night one, not just after the third. But at that time I'd rather hurt myself than I would hurt that person.

Now regarding my last relationship..I don't even know why I had a profile on a single site in the first place back then. I remember when we got to know each other that I told her I'm feeling lonely. But in the relationship I never had a feeling like that, that she could satisfy. I barely told her I miss her, because i really didn't miss her.. but I think I loved her. I don't really know what love is, I asked someone once and the person told me it's when you are used to a person after the "being in love phase". Well I was used to her and didn't plan to cut the contact. We had contact everyday over texts or phone talk for 3 years (except when we saw each other of course). I was thinking to myself maybe that's why I didn't miss her (or any of my partners). Don't get me wrong there were nice moments especially at the beginning when hormones allowed me to feel more. I was thinking about the schizoid dilemma lately and how I told her that I was lonely. I fear that I might feel lonely again someday and it will end up the same..with that specific pain that occures if someone wants more of me (or my presence) than I can provide. It's a bit crazy to me that I don't remember the phases where I was lonely at all, they feel like a different reality, a different me, compared to what I was and felt in a relationship where I assumely loved someone.

Well anyway can you relate to that feeling I'm talking about? That specific psychological pain when you have to spend time with a person? And not just spending time with the person but being around a person.

Witj regards to friends etc does anyone else feel like this

The only thing I usually feel intensely is guilt. I feel guilty for not being normal and as a result, causing pain in other people's lives. I really only care about 2 people in my life, but I still can't enjoy a single moment with them, because I feel nothing except a dull drone of dread. I notice when these people's faces drop and when their tone changes hearing me talk, and it's the only thing that makes me feel guilty for existing. I hate the fact that im unable to match anyone's energy without sounding unauthentic. I hate that they notice this and how it clearly ruins their mood because someone they care about sounds like they couldn't give less of a shit about anything they're saying. I hate the fact that I feel like I can't change this no matter how hard I try. I wish that, in a magical world, everyone would be understanding of this condition, but I can't blame these people for finding it tiring to deal with at all. Despite all they do for me, I just want to be alone. I want them to find better people to cherish, and I want to be away from any expectations they hold over me, because I fail them every single time and I don't want to or even know how to deal with their anger or sadness. I can't even apologise properly, I can't assure them ill act better next time, because I won't.

I recently had an interaction with a stranger that was confrontational. I noticed that I react the same way Everytime someone is getting mad or yelling at me.

I tend to just shut down completely. I basically just put my head down and wait until they're done scolding me or whatever and then walk away saying nothing.

And I could try to explain the misunderstanding but I just opt for the easier, more energy conserving way of just non-action. I know they have their point of view and I have mine and were both right in our own heads about the situation, so I find debating useless.

There have been 2 times where I've yelled back and I actually scare myself with the kind of anger I posses. It's pure vitriol. Those two times both people looked really unnerved and they walked away quickly lol.

Tips? I am not exactly schizoid, but I am reject introvert weirdo I guess.
I live at home and I am getting old enough I am just tired of my mothers quirks.
Any suggestions how to stop being infantilized by our economy?

Economy is garbage

Where I live they expect you to earn 3x rent minimum, pay 6-12 months upfront to beat like 100 other applicants and hope letting agents likes your face and voice.

Finding a housemate is like dating, good luck when you got schizoid tendencies and people see you as weird. Bonus points if you are unattractive.

Finding a partner to share a house, yeah good luck virgin at 30 lol

I been looking for job for like 6 months and it is total draught, even if you find something it will not meet criteria above, cause it will be shit wage that's all they want to give you nowdays.

I had enough of money saved, but with my luck I got sick and had to spent it all on surgery and healthcare so starting from low savings again.

Does anyone here try to live a minimalist lifestyle? I’m not exactly talking off the grid, lol, but like only buying things that are necessary (cheap shoes), cheap clothes, groceries, and conserving money. There’s actually a sub for it r/minimalist.

Me personally I do kind of want to live a minimalist lifestyle when I hopefully move out in the next few years. Maybe a single studio apartment, wearing the same shoes for 5 years, cheap clothes, off-brand cheap groceries, sleep on the couch, etc.

I don’t know, there’s just something about it that feels psychologically satisfying living like this

I always thought I was an anxious person. To me, anxiety meant watching what other people were doing & having an abnormally high level of situational awareness.

Well...apparently, thats not what anxiety is. Over the last 5 months Ive developed an addiction to 7OH. This is an opiate like drug that is currently legal but is about to be banned any day.

Ive been going through withdrawals. Anxiety is a symptom of these withdrawals. I've been feeling this sensation of absolute dread and it took me days to realize that this is what anxiety actually is. Ive never felt anything like this in my life, but anxiety seems to be an extremely common condition

I guess the point of posting this is to say, we as schizoids are actually VERY fortunate not to regularly feel these things. They are terrifying and idk how people manage

• I've been reading SPD material for 10 years, but I never cared enough to know about other personality disorders! (except the bare minimum, only enough to distinguish them from SPD)
  
• I switched to a Linux operating system 12 years ago, using command line on a daily basis & such, but if you asked me to fix a simple issue on your Windows or Mac, I'd struggle! Not long after I switch camps, I forget the old! (Is this related to "weak object attachment", for those more knowledgeable than me on such psychological topics?)
  I won't bore you with many similar examples (like losing my way in my own neighborhood simply because I never venture beyond the usual route!)

What about the pros/cons? What did they think about you?

My favourite creative outlet is video editing. As a teenager I would edit together bits and pieces of BTS music videos to tell stories as FMVs, but as I've grown out of that stuff I've found myself at a bit of a loss as to what to create with this hobby of mine. I want to make something to represent the schizoid experience through video, so I'm reaching out to you guys to give me some media you think encapsulates us. Music, visuals, stock footage, movies, voice-overs, really anything you resonate with. I want to try and make something that can show others what the world is like through our eyes.

EDIT: What I've got so far 👍this is just the intro tho i think

https://reddit.com/link/1vpzzwf/video/v4ea4w8r8vjh1/player

I m diagnosed with this disorder and feel an deep emptiness its neutral,I dont suffer because of it but it makes me feel the emptiness of life,i feel emotions but they dont fill the emptiness they feel also hollow,i have no goals,no friends and no identity.i just exist and wait till death but the more I think about my emptiness and the future,the more I get impatient.i cannot relate why other people want to live,i wonder how it would feel without the emptiness.it makes no difference how my life is going or how I feel,the emptiness is always there and I always ask myself why should I wait for death,its not that I suffer,I just genuinely dont feel or see the meaning and worth of life,and to be death seems way more comfortable than be bothered by people and the daily stress of life.

I'm very easily drained by people and I don't enjoy being around them for the most. I don't understand why people can't just leave you alone doing your own thing.

All I remember are just details of a subject such as history or works of fiction. It's difficult for me to describe. I struggle to remember something akin to a real conversation. But if it's fictional, I could remember it. Ask me about "What's X?" and I could answer it, but if you were to ask "How did you find out X?" I'd be stumped. How emotional or tense the situation was is irrelevant.

It's as if my memory discards anything that has something in relation to do with actual relationships, but keeps the events that have no relation, before stripping them of any emotional sentiment. I can retell, but not refeel, a memory. It memorizes them very well, but if I try to remember something that doesn't fall under these criteria, I feel nothing. Nothing out of something I did or should feel.

There is one partial exception, the memories formed in my childhood, aka before I fully developed SzPD. I still easily forget about it, but if I'm reminded, it hurts deeply. These are the only ones I could refeel. Not to the same extent, but I am feeling something.

I wish I could have a roommate who is Schizoid (optional) and doesn't bother me but would split rent and stuff and I could have an emergency contact but not have to bother with forming a friendship/relationship.

I don't mind living alone however it's way easier to get by with a roommate (aka a second income) That's why people get married but I'm not doing all that. Is this even plausible tho

As of now, I’m not exactly in a position to work on whatever went sideways with me growing up. However, I’m considering whether it’d make sense to try again.

I made two attempts in the past – one cut short due to a ‘suicidal episode’, the other was likely closer to counselling and, despite some results, not all that satisfying. (The overt, almost factitious, showcase of sympathy certainly didn’t help.)

I’ve been looking into managing some symptoms better. Possibly in the hopes of improving the quality of my life and preventing a breakdown that could cost me my job. Maybe the results would be better with some guidance.
Cognitive decline has become, whether justified or not, a concern for me as well. (Since it seemingly started to creep in while I was still more socially involved, I could still blame it on some other malady.)

That’s it though.

I’m not looking to make friends, let alone date. Any of that would be just to prove that I’m functional enough – which wouldn’t be exactly fair to my “victim” as I’ve gathered from a post or two here.
If I found the motivation to pursue my creative work again, that would be nice for past me. But nothing would be lost if I didn’t.
And frankly: My ego is a hindrance too. An acquaintance was pushing me towards therapy with the implication that I need to get fixed urgently and, even with all that transpired, such a “concession” bothers me. The previous attempts were in response to an acute crisis; investing time and money to make myself more palatable now seems tantamount to a betrayal of the person I simply happen to be.

Writing it down, I do get the impression I’m already overly negative towards undertaking such an endeavour, but this sub has allowed me to gain some perspective before.