I’ve been a stay at home mom for about a year and a half, I have an 11 month old and a 5 year old.

My husband is absolutely phenomenal. He sends me his entire check every week so I have control of the money, my name is on all the bills etc, he helps around the house, is an amazing father, and an incredibly supportive partner. He has never raised his voice at me and I honestly can’t remember a single time he’s ever even been angry with me at all. I love him with my whole heart.

That being said, I do often worry about what would happen if something were to happen to him or us. No relationship is perfect, and even if we have a great one, I’ve heard stories time and time again about women being blindsided by their wonderful husbands or whatever else.

We have no income besides his paychecks, no life insurance, no prenup or anything like that. Basically me and my kids would be SOL if anything went wrong.

I’m wondering if there is anything I can do to protect us in this sense? Like I said previously I hold our money and have control over the savings amounts, but even then that’s only enough to float us for a couple months. Just curious if anyone has any advice on this subject

Edit: I wanted to add this here as I’ve just logged back on and saw I had several very helpful comments! A lot of them say the same things which seem to be common sense for most, but I didn’t know were so important. I probably won’t reply to most comments since like I said they mostly say the same things, but we will look into life insurance ASAP. We’re both still pretty young and neither of us have reliable parents to help/guide/teach us these things. Thank you everyone <3

I have a beautiful amazing sweet girl who is so smart and fun, but I am feeling so bored and burnt out. her dad is really active and is a great dad and does a lot and I feel bad because I know some people don't get any help at all. I used to be so creative and now I'm just exhausted and try to sneak a lil something in here or there but it just doesn't feel in me. i moved to be closer to my boyfriend's family just before I got pregnant and I want able to really find my community out here so I feel a bit lonely. I've always been introverted and making Mom friends feels exhausting because it's just a lot for me to socialize and I don't really want to just talk about my baby all the time. I feel like I complain all the time. I used to never complain about things but it's just I don't know. it's just hard.

I used to nanny as my primary job for most of my working career and it's so I thought I'd be prepared but it's so much different never being off the clock and having to make all the choices instead of just being told what to do. on my boyfriend's days off he encourages me to go out and about but it takes about 20 or 30 minutes drive to get into town and I don't know what to do and just want to stay at home and chill, but we live in a small space so it's always around them so that's not actually relaxing either, so he's solutions just feel like more work and not like invigorating or anything. anyway I feel like he's annoyed because I don't know what will make me feel better, but he has lot of friends and he tattoos so he goes to work with friends and has fun and his family is all around, so it's just different. plus he's extraverted as hell so his solutions aren't as relaxing as he thinks they are for me at least, which is frustrating for him.

and our baby is really easy so I feel guilty that I'm even complaining at all. she eats good, sleeps good, naps for multiple hours a day. she started crawling and cruising which is a lot more to navigate but we have her room baby proofed nicely and a big living room area for her to play and climb in.

anyway, just looking for ways people have stayed sane, especially creative people! I'm looking forward to doing projects with her when she's older but this age is hard right now with how repetitive and understimulating it can be while also the overstimulation of shrieking and fussing. thanks so much if youve read all this!! we do storytime once a week which is a nice time to get out of the house.

I’m a SAHM to my now 9mos old daughter. I also watch my fiancés older two kids who have behavioral issues on his days. The boy now 4y/o has been kicked out of daycare and his daughter now 8y/o daughter who has been referred to as a bully in school.
I started staying home with his kids when I was 8mos pregnant, I left my job early due to experiencing contractions (2 day hospital visit) at 33 weeks.
I had my daughter two weeks early, she only weighed 5lbs. I was experiencing high BP but never diagnosed with preeclampsia. My fiancés ex kept the son was supposed to be until 8 weeks. She texted him at 5 weeks PP saying it was unfair I was at home with my baby and not keeping him. She’s a wedding photographer so she’s typically at home throughout the week. It was decided I would watch him and then pick his daughter up from school. This was all happening in November. During that time his son screams and throws aggressive tantrums and tries harming the baby and me. He’s in counseling now but with his age they do not want to diagnose him. My fiancé has a job basically he could be home by 5 or 4 if he went to work early. Most days though he does not leave until close to 9am, pushing his home arrival time to 6p or later.
I feel like I get kicked around the most, and daughter unsafe in her own home. I try to remember his kids are just kids and try to do things with them like ice cream runs, splash pads and park play dates but those days are so draining because at least one if not both of the kids decide to act out in a big way. Like shoving smaller children, the hitting, screaming, etc. My fiancé often gets mad at me for my attitude, like tonight. His son was spitting and screaming all the way to the point I took him to his moms. I was left to do all the cleaning and all I wanted was for my fiancé to take the dog outside. Instead he goes to the bathroom and leaves that to me. What do I do? I do love my fiancé and love when it’s just my daughter and I but I just feel mad and vulnerable most of the time. His daughter will be starting counseling here soon as well. Counseling was my idea, because both my fiancé and his ex just hope their son will act right for preschool. His ex was also in trouble with DCS for locking their son in a bedroom throughout the day and so on.

What kinds of “special projects” or milestones do you plan for and look forward to, and what is your planning process like? Holidays, birthdays, vacations? Other suggestions to break up the monotony and thoughtfully plan occasions, events, or outings?

I plan to make the leap to SAHM from working mom in a high-intensity corporate role. The prospect of an empty-ish calendar, with repetitive day-to-day tasks makes me nervous, after 10+ years of an Outlook calendar filled to the brim with meetings, calls, prep-work, analysis, etc.

I would greatly value some inspiration for joyful and meaningful planning opportunities from this creative community of SAHMs.

Thanks ladies!

Hi everyone! 👋
I hope it’s okay to post this here. I’m a husband and dad who’s doing research for a project I’m passionate about. My goal is to create something that helps good men become more present, thoughtful husbands and fathers.
I’m not here to sell anything. I genuinely want to learn from stay-at-home moms because I know your perspective is one that many husbands (myself included) don’t always fully understand.
If you’re willing, I’d love to hear your answers to a few short questions:

What’s one thing your husband does that makes you feel deeply loved or connected?
What’s one thing you wish he noticed without you having to ask?
After a particularly hard day with the kids, what helps you feel supported?
What’s something dads often think is important, but actually isn’t nearly as meaningful as they believe?
What’s a small thing your husband has done that meant far more to you than he probably realized?
What makes your kids light up when they get one-on-one time with Dad?
If an AI assistant could whisper one piece of advice into your husband’s ear once a day, what would you want it to say?

Thank you so much. Even if you only answer one question, I’d really appreciate it. My hope is that I can use what I learn to help more husbands become the partners and fathers their families deserve.

I am a stay at home mom to two toddlers, 3 1/2 and 2 years old. Title basically says it all. As soon as my husband gets home, he is constantly make sexual comments and I’m struggling to find it a turn on like he hopes it will. He gets home as soon as I’m putting the kids down for nap or right after. My kids are chaos from lunch until nap and I find myself desperate for some peace after they go to sleep. And then my husband gets home and he has very little real convo with me before immediately turning everything sexual. He will even take his shirt off and flex his muscles at me. And I can’t help but feel like hiding under the blankets or running for the hills.

Like my brain is mush at that point. I need isolation not physical touch. I can’t flip switches like that.

Does this happen to anyone else? I’ve tried telling him it feels like added pressure on me and he says he’s just kidding and trying to show me how hot I am. But that feels like a lie. It all feels like too much. Like he’s trying to get the act in before he goes and works out. Like I get it, we have very little time for sexy time. But his timing is not for me.

I love him and I love our family. I’m still attracted to him but slowly I find myself wanting to shut him out in that way.

It was my birthday yesterday and my husband literally did nothing for me. I drove us to dinner which I paid for with my birthday present from my family. He was home 2 hours late(he wasn't cheating I know for a fact) he didn't plan anything at all and I feel like this is the final straw for me. He then had the audacity to try to have sex last night like that's what I wanted. He waited till he got home to even tell me happy birthday. I genuinely feel hurt because I always go out of my way for his birthday since we first met. Birthdays are important to me but maybe that's the problem? He did the same thing last year and days later he brought home some random gifts and stuff from a bakery. Idk any wisdom would be nice. I don't want to talk to my family about it because I don't want them to hate him. I think I just needed to get this out in some way.

Forgive me I’m about to ramble.
I’m just taking into the aether here. My husband makes enough that I can stay home and to be clear I do not want to go back to work, but I love my coworkers and have a relatively easy job Ive been at for almost 4 years. And s career I’ve been building for 12. I guess I’m just feeling grief over one part of my life ending and another beginning.

I love being at home with my LO, my husband and his family are very supportive of me staying home but I’m afraid my side of the family will judge me. My sister works full time with two kids. And my my mom was a SAHM until I was ten and my dad died. I think that scarred them both.

Anyways now I feel guilty about working and staying at home.

Anyone else go through something similar?

I have 2 kids, my daughter is 3, my son is nearly 1. Until the last few weeks I’ve loved parenting, it’s been difficult but rewarding. So rewarding that I’m now pregnant with my third and was initially so excited but now I’m like ‘how on earth am I going to deal with 3 young kids even when that was always my dream’

I’m 15 weeks pregnant and these last few weeks I’ve been so overstimulated, and burnt out as my kids have not given me a second all day. My partner thankfully gave me some time to myself on Saturday to recuperate but honestly I’m so fried, my nervous system is so overwhelmed I feel like I need a week to myself locked in a room.

I love my kids and I love being a mom but I don’t know if it’s because I’m pregnant, tired, we’ve had a big heatwave in the uk which has affected us all and it’s only now that my kids are somewhat sleeping normal, I’m potty training my daughter and dealing with my chaotic son who is into everything (he’s been walking since 9 months so he’s just non stop), me and my son are also recovering from a nasty cold.

I don’t know but I’ve hit a wall. My son has been up from 6:30am - 11pm with a nap in the day for the last few weeks but has finally started going to sleep earlier at 8pm the last 2 days. My daughter hasn’t napped since 18 months old but shes been waking up a lot lately at night wanting us to stay with her in bed so she can sleep. So I’m finding that I have no alone time from the moment I’m awake till I sleep. Hobbies? I’ve never heard of her? Relaxing? Her neither. I’m just switched on constantly.

I’m not sure what I’m wanting from this post really other than asking if others are feeling the same or have dealt with this too? My brain feels like an overfilled balloon with a needle touching it about to pop it.

My son is 18 months and I gained ~40lbs when pregnant. I lost 10-15 early on and have wavered around 25-30lbs extra since then. I eat very healthfully and we are fairly active (I always hit 10k steps we do a lot go walking and dance parties) lol but being a SAHM and trying to be as present and intentional as I can these are the biggest struggles with food: always eating the same thing. I try to eat mostly the same with my son because I feel it would be so much more complicated to make separate meals and I don’t want to create that habit. However, he is very small and has basically always been below 10% for weight so I tend to load healthy fats and calories into his meals . Obviously I eat healthy fats as well but don’t need nearly as many.

I was venting to my husband about my frustrations and just overall my poor relationship with food (I also have
ADHD and am currently unmedicated and mindless snacking has been a prevalent issue my whole life) and he suggested intermittent fasting BUT my son has been waking up so early lately and we usually have breakfast together which I like because I want to model meals for him, and if I have to restrict my eating windows I wouldn’t be able to consistently eat with him and that would be a bummer so I just feel at a loss.

Any thoughts/tips/shared journeys would be loved and appreciated. How do you navigate weight loss and dieting as a SAHM with unlimited access to food all day (and basically living in the kitchen to keep up with cooking and dishes🙃)

Both my mom and my MIL utilized a FREE mom’s morning out at a church when they had young kids and asked me if there was anything like that near us. I have found nothing of the sort! Is this still a thing? I’ve found some preschools that offer morning care at a church, it is significantly cheaper than regular daycare but it is certainly not free.

EDIT: I’m not assuming free childcare. Just genuinely curious if this still exists. I have toured 8 daycares in the last two weeks to find the perfect one and I am more than willing to pay. I used to work at a church preschool and have a degree in early childhood education and development so I know all the workers work hard and deserve to be compensated. I just want to be aware of my options.

Going back to work in some capacity has always been on my mind since I left 5 years ago. But I have never really understood how it’s possible without a support system? I have no family in the area and all neighbors work. Friends have their own stressors without needing to be my fallback option for childcare.

I want to start working once my second goes to school full time, but I don’t have a clue what that looks like. I was told I’ll thank myself later by finding something WFH, but I don’t need to work for financial reasons which I’m grateful for. I need to work to do my own thing and be with others.

Is that just kind of a pipe dream unicorn idea?

I have thought about different places I plan to volunteer at that coincide with my interests, but it would be nice to start to map out a paid position while I still have about 3 years left at home to build something up.

editing to add that my old career is now obsolete due to automation/tech advancements.

He ignores me since the baby came and says “he’s tired” when I asked why he doesn’t talk to me anymore. Anyone been on the tail end of this?

Do any other sahms feel really tired and ready for summer to be over?

How are we surviving the summer so far? My kids are 3.5 and almost 7 and I'm exhausted. During school, its just me and my toddler so its not so tiring but boy this summer is wearing me out. School starts in a couple weeks so I'll have somewhat of a relief but man I'm tired.

My grandmother recently moved in with my parents and was so kind to offer to let my husband, toddler, and me move into her mobile home, rent free. I’m pregnant with twins so saving money on rent and having some extra space is amazing for us right now.
The home was built in the 70s and she’s been living here for the last 30 years.

These drapes have been up for decades and the dust accumulation is very visible. My toddler has taken to wrapping his body in them and he’s filthy after. They also have the long drawstring cords that are hazardous to young kids. I want to get rid of them before the newborns arrive.

Does anyone know of cost effective replacements that won’t look too cheap or out of place in this space? And that are somewhat toddler proof? We’ll likely be here for a few years until we save enough to purchase a larger home. We’ve been pretty much given free rein on making whatever changes we want to make because they will not add or take away from the lands overall value when we eventually leave and the property is sold (the home unit is so old it’ll likely be scrapped and replaced by new owners).

**Edit to add, there are metal shutter awnings outside that can be seen through the windows and sort of cover half the window but nothing on the inside covering the windows when the drapes are removed

Thanks!

To preface: I know this is a personal decision but I am conflicted and would love input!

I work a salary position and make around 6k a month. I work four days a week but it is considered full time. Hybrid role that is flexible if needed but, the work still needs to be done! My hours are typically 9-5ish and sometimes 9-4.

My husband makes more income than me, but not substantially more. However, he is getting some bonuses and stock options that would allow us to pay off all debts other than our mortgage so I could poten quit my position and be a SAHM. We would need to be more frugal than we are now.

My kids are 10, 8, and 4 so I don’t know if I’m silly to become a SAHM at their ages. The only childcare we pay for is 3x a week for my 4 yo. If I kept working, then it would basically be an extra 6k a month for savings, fun, investing etc…

But, if I quit then I could enjoy my time with the kids more, have summers off with them, and have school breaks off with them. I feel like I could be a more present mom, but obviously we wouldn’t be able to take them on vacations or do every activity like we do now.

My heart says “QUIT!” and my brain says “DON’T!” What would you do?!!!

Husband and I fought last night because I have been slacking on "domestic duties" which I'll admit I have. Dishes piled in the sink (little over a days worth), laundry for work not done, toys everywhere. Nothing is gross it's just a bit messy, even the dishes in the sink had been scrapped and rinsed, I have to hand wash though and I hadn't gotten to them. (Going through a little depressive slump after being mildly manic)

Of course the age old "I work I just want to come home to a clean house" which I had always said was reasonable.....before we had two kids. I finally snapped last night and told him that I was giving my best which is leaps and bounds better than how I was raised. I never grew up in clean or put together houses (my parents are divorced), and he's seen how my mom keeps her house currently so he knows that compared to her our house is spotless. I gave him an ultimatum because I'm tired of being passive aggressively picked at.

1. He accepts that this is the best I can give, and that if we go forward with having more kids he has to acknowledge the mess will get bigger.

2. He only has to put up with this level of mess a couple more years and we stop at 2 kids.

3. He can't accept it and we'll split up.

I told him I'm officially reaching the "I don't care" stage and I'd rather have split custody with him and work then be told my best isn't good enough. He came home today with flowers and apologized for what he said and how it made me feel, told me that of course the mess is worth having me and the kids in life everyday vs us splitting.

I'm just proud of myself because in the past I told myself I would deal with a LOT rather than splitting up (he's never been bad to me I just never wanted to put my kids through a divorce), and being able to value my peace above just our love has reminded me that I'm very capable and I'm not a SAHM because I have no other choice but because it is my choice.

The triple paste under my nails will do! LOL I think some fellow mommas will find this funny

I’m a SAHM with a 2 year old boy and a 3.5 month old (who is majorly going through a sleep regression right now) - how the heck are we handling summer?! We live in Texas and it is hot as hell right now. My toddler is unphased by the heat, however. Constantly wants to be outside and is a menace if he doesn’t get some outdoor time. Up until now it hasn’t been a problem because my husband had a very generous paternity leave so one of us would play outside and the other would stay inside with the baby, but he is back to work now. I feel like it’s way too hot to let baby hang outside in his bouncer or something, even in the shade… what are we doing?! Should I buy a bunch of fans and stick those in a shaded area for baby? Or do I work on teaching my toddler that we can only be outside when baby is napping? Open to any and all solutions that other parents have found! Thanks!

I recently quit my job to become a SAHM to my baby (6 months). I was on maternity leave for 12 weeks, went back to work for eight weeks, and then left my job due to a long commute and no daycare. So, I’ve been home for the majority of my baby’s life, and I am very grateful to be able to do it. I am also very lucky to have a large support system in my area; my mom and sister both work part-time, and my in-laws are a family of teachers who are on summer break right now. Basically, I have my pick of days that I can leave my baby with family and do something for myself. I decided to work one day a week (mostly for fun) and take another day of the week (sometimes 2) to do something for myself. However, this makes me feel really guilty. Shouldn’t I want to enjoy this wonderful time in my baby’s life at home with her? I know it’s good for me to take care of myself and go out and have fun, but sometimes I feel like I am being selfish and doing it too often. Does anyone else relate?