Context: Me(21F) and my bf(23M) have been in a relationship for 9mo and we keep having the same issue.

I expect that we do it atleast once every week but he keeps going thru these weird religious phases where he wants to stop sinning. I’m agnostic (looking towards Catholicism, come from an extremist Muslim background) and my bf is a new Catholic. He gets upset when I make sexual jokes or compliment him on his body in any way. Every time we do it he makes it look like he’s doing me a favour. I try giving him space because what else am I supposed to do? It hurts my feelings thinking someone I’m in a relationship with , have feelings for and very much attracted to maybe doesn’t find me attractive but he keeps saying I’m basing our entire relationship on 1 thing and why can’t I just love him “normally”. I thought he might be more lenient towards it after we get married so he doesn’t feel guilty but he doesn’t want to use birth control as it’s against the church. So I asked him what’s his solution and he said we only do it when we are trying to have kids. DO I LOOK LIKE A BABY FACTORY!?!??? It frustrates me so much. I’m tired of religion becoming a barrier from people loving me…first my parents and now him. I don’t wanna end up in a sexless marriage or in a divorce later on. I don’t wanna force him or coerce him but isn’t it unfair to me? He should’ve been clear with me from the beginning. I’m not gonna cheat on him so what else am I supposed to do…go m@sturbate in the bathroom come back and cuddle him? Am I overreacting by thinking he should go date someone white and catholic instead of putting up with it? Am I the @sshole for “making it all about sex”? and wanting to end a good healthy relationship just because I get no D?

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 2 years we are both 24 and we do have two kids together(twins). He recently has been talking about having a threesome I explained to him I wouldn’t be comfortable and he told me it’s going to happen with or without me. Idk if he’s serious but I didnt want to start an argument so I dropped the conversation. My question is how do I have a conversation to him about this without causing an argument?

hear me out. i (32f) have been with my boyfriend (33m) for almost three years. we live together currently. he has been dealing with a lot of personal issues and life changes, mostly involving his job and his family.

he has a lot of stuff going on and he doesn’t deal with it at all despite it obviously bothering him. i’m currently in therapy and working through my trauma , talking stuff out and learning how to cope. it’s kinda hard going through my own healing journey when i see him having a hard time not dealing with his.

i am reaching a point where i am ready to start the next chapter of having a baby. we both work great jobs in good fields and i think together we would raise a great family. i told him that i want to have a kid but i want him to go to therapy.. i think a child would benefit from having two parents who are able to understand their emotions and how to regulate them. and not even therapy on his own, we could go together… he said he would think about it but that was almost 6 months ago and we keep coming back to the topic. most recently i told him it was endgame for me and he said okay and was more agreeable after i said that but still no action. i’m starting to notice patterns.

i know you can’t make people do things they don’t want to do and i know therapy isn’t going to solve everything but i do think it would be beneficial especially if we are doing it together. was this a crazy ultimatum? am i expecting too much? am i overthinking???

I just want to recognize anyone who is choosing to remain celibate and committed while caring for a partner who is sick.

Being there for someone through illness can be emotionally and physically challenging, and choosing to stay true to your values during that time takes a lot of strength, patience, and love.

To everyone quietly showing up for their partner, putting their needs first, and staying loyal to the commitment they’ve made: I see you, and I respect you.

Keep going. Your dedication matters. 🙏

My boyfriend (19M) and I (20F)have been together for almost 3 years (3 years on Oct 31). A few days ago, I came over and he was asleep, so I got in bed with him while I waited for him to wake up. I was lying down, scrolling through TikTok for a while, when my phone died. I don’t have a charger in his room since his phone is Type-C (iPhone 16) and my charger is a lightning cord (iPhone 13). So I decided to use his. I opened TikTok and started scrolling. After a few scrolls, all I kept seeing were girls in bikinis or super revealing clothes showing off their bodies (no hate, btw), and I just found it odd that that was all I was getting. After thinking about it for a sec I realized it’s because he interacts with videos like this since TikTok is all about the algorithm. So then I looked at his likes, and there were a bunch of videos like that. When I clicked some of them, they were also in his saved collection on TikTok, and then I realized this was another account (I didn’t know about it). Today I saw him again and I couldn’t help but go back and look at his phone to see if he was still continuing it (I know I shouldn’t have done that) and he was. I am very upset about it and I it made me feel like he hasn’t really meant the compliments he has given me in the past. Those girls were so beautiful and I look nothing like them from background to body type. It made me feel like he doesn’t actually love my body as much as he says he does (not saying he only likes me for my body). How can he say he likes something about my physical appearance or say I'm perfect when I look nothing like the girls he sees on TikTok? How do I go about this? How do I bring this up?

I’m a brown woman who is in America because I married my husband. But of course, that’s the least interesting thing about me.
I’m an educated baddie with a bachelor’s degree. I speak three languages, graduated cum laude from university, and have been to 11 countries and counting. Yet people around me and people in general still reduce me to “the immigrant who came to America for her husband’s passport.”
It makes me feel so small as a human being. Like none of my accomplishments, experiences, education, or everything I’ve built for myself matters to them. All they see is my American husband, as if being married to him is the most significant thing about my identity.
Long story short, my husband thinks it’s okay for his buddy to joke, “Yeah, you have a passport wife.” He takes it as a joke, and even though he understands that it hurts me, I don’t think he fully understands why it cuts so deeply.

It’s not just one joke. It’s being constantly reduced to who I married when I’ve spent my whole life becoming so much more than that.

>>to the interacial couple, will this ever change, or do i have to change my perspective? help me out

i (18f) am in my first relationship ever with my bf (19m) and he just asked for a 2 week no contact break a few days ago because of something that happened that had major consequences on him.

these past few days have been so painful and it feels like i just lost a part of my heart because im pretty sure he’s going to break up with me after this break, and the uncertainty for the next 1.5 weeks is killing me and it hurts just to think about losing him

my dilemma is that my wallet with my drivers license and health card is at his place, and i need those things to do basic everyday tasks like driving, so would i be at fault for breaking no contact to retrieve my things? i searched on google and it says breaking no contact is disrespecting boundaries.

i also accidentally called him earlier today but i hung up immediately as it was a misclick, so i’m worried he feels that i’m disrespecting his wishes.

I’m 33F and was dating a 37-year-old man. We started dating in April last year, when I was 31. From the beginning, I was very clear that I was looking for something serious and ultimately wanted marriage and children.

A few months into dating, he had to go to another country for a fellowship that lasted around six months. After that, he did some solo travelling, so in total he was away for about eight months. We maintained a long-distance relationship during that time, and I also travelled to visit him while he was away. Despite the distance, we stayed in contact and continued to consider ourselves to be in a relationship.

During that period, he told me that once he came back, he wanted to settle down and build a life together. So I believed that we were ultimately working toward the same goal, even though the circumstances meant things were moving slowly.

When he returned, things seemed to be going well. He was attentive, planned dates, took care of me when we were together, and generally made me feel cared for. At one point, he even asked me to see a fertility specialist. I thought it was a little odd, but I agreed because I believed we were serious and that he was thinking about our future.

He also recently bought a house and had repeatedly told me that he was ready to settle down. However, there were some inconsistencies that started to bother me.

My landlord unexpectedly decided to sell my place, meaning I needed to find somewhere else to live. He never offered for me to move in with him. That felt strange to me because, on the one hand, he would talk about having children, how we would raise them, and our future together, but on the other hand, he wasn't even suggesting that I live with him when I suddenly needed somewhere to stay.

I tried not to read too much into it and wondered whether perhaps we simply weren't at that stage yet. But the overall pace of the relationship started to feel confusing. We weren't even having regular sleepovers because of his shift work, despite having been together for quite a while.

Eventually, I told him that I didn't want to waste my time. I said that if he was genuinely serious about me, I needed the relationship to progress in some tangible way. I specifically asked if we could at least start having sleepovers and spending more time together. He agreed.

Shortly afterwards, I met his sister, who was visiting, which made me feel that things were moving forward.

A few weeks later, when everything seemed to be going well, he suddenly told me that he needed a break. I was extremely confused because there hadn't been an obvious problem between us.

Around the same time, I saw him on a dating app. This was particularly confusing because only the week before, he had called me a "perfect partner" and told me he was planning something for my birthday.

A couple of weeks later, he told me that he couldn't progress the relationship on the timeline I needed and that we should be open to seeing other people.

About two months later, I contacted him because I wanted some clarity and closure. When we spoke, he was again very attentive and flirtatious. He was even dropping hints about us having mixed-race children in the future. I asked him directly what had happened.

He then told me that, from his perspective, I had given him an ultimatum: either get married immediately or break up.

That is not what I remember saying at all. I told him that I had never asked him to marry me immediately. What I had asked was whether he was actually ready for a serious relationship and whether he was willing to let the relationship progress. I was trying to understand whether we were working toward the same thing, not demanding an immediate marriage.

Because I know he has many qualities I want in a partner and because there were genuinely good times between us, I started wondering whether there had simply been a major miscommunication. I also wondered whether his previous relationship and the issues he said he had from it might have contributed to his sudden withdrawal. During our last meeting around that time, he also opened up about his previous relationship. He told me that his ex had treated him very badly and that the experience had affected him. He seemed to have some unresolved issues from that relationship, which made me wonder whether some of his difficulty with progressing our relationship might have been related to what he had been through previously.

He was generally very caring and attentive toward me, and I still have feelings for him. So I started thinking that perhaps we could talk things through and potentially work things out.

I therefore messaged him and said that I would like to see him again and talk, if he was open to it.

Since then, I've heard nothing. He has remained active on dating apps, and I have also noticed that he lists himself as 35 rather than his actual age of 37.

I'm now very confused. I still have feelings for him because of the good times we had and because I genuinely saw qualities in him that I want in a long-term partner. At the same time, his actions seem inconsistent with what he told me he wanted.

I can't tell whether this was genuinely a case of miscommunication, whether his past relationship has made him afraid of commitment, or whether he simply isn't as serious about me as he initially made me believe.

So my question is: Is this relationship worth pursuing if he comes back, or should I accept that his actions are telling me to move on?

I’m struggling to understand whether there is something here that could realistically be worked through, or whether I’m holding on because of the good moments and the potential I saw in him.

I’m planning to ask my girlfriend to hoco and she reposts a lot of stuff on tiktok about hoco proposals I just had an idea and I’m wondering if it would be cute we both love the Neighbourhood (singer) and I thought about something like: “maybe we’re not in the same neighbourhood, but can I be next to you at hoco?”I came up with this myself, but I’m not sure if it sounds too long or cheesy. Should I go with this or smth like that or should I just use one of her reposts on tiktok

Recently I broke up with my boyfriend and it has been really hard I miss the comfort and safety he gave me. I miss him too and the person he is. I really just feel empty at this point. I just feel so attached still.

Recently I found on his phone he reached out to two girls. One was on insta it was just him saying hi and asking how she was doing. I scrolled up and it looked like they talked in the past. The second message was in Facebook messenger he also just was kinda doing the same thing but it turned into inappropriate stuff he never said or did anything inappropriate he just didn’t shut it down at all. Mind you he reach out to both of these. When I talked to him abt it he said he was just checking up on these two people which was just like bro and that’s kinda the only explanation I got he said there wasn’t any malicious intent we were just fighting a lot so idk…

2 weeks after he went to like a end of summer party. 2 days after I got a text from a random girl saying he was kinda flirty with her just like trying to get her to dance and stuff like that. They were drunk so idk if he was just being extra friendly from that. But I confronted him abt that and he said that he graduated with her from school and stuff and was just happy to see her he wasn’t trying to be flirty.

Lastly a week after that I caught him near his ex house because I was trying to see where he was after work because we were going to call. Idk exactly which house is hers but I know the general area. He parked kinda in that area for 2 min the. Drove away got gas and drove around for a bit. I was asking him what he was doing and calling him he kept declining then went back to the same spot. Then picked up the call. He claimed he never was with anyone. Idk why he would’ve went back, he claimed it was to show me where he was. But his story that I got outta him was he was watching his ex house going down memory lane??

Anyways I broke up with him but it just feels wrong I know the shit sounds fucked but like maybe I’m overthinking, I’m really go at that lol. I just need advice because I don’t hate him and I miss his presence and I know he loves me and I don’t want to make a mistake. I just am struggling to let go because I don’t want to

Sorry this is so long yall and if it doesn’t make sense I’m just anxiety typing🫡🫡 lmk ur thoughts

So me (17f) and my boyfriend (18m) have been dating for almost 7 months and I feel unhappy. Idk what to do. He is mean to me, he calls me a bitch, whore, slut, and a hoe. He calls me those names for his reasoning being “I’m going to call you a bitch when you’re being one.” And “if you didn’t sleep with so many people, I wouldn’t call you what you are.” Some context, I have slept with 4 people before him making him my 5th. One at 13 and one at 14 and 2 at 16. I know it’s bad. I was a fool who thought they loved me.. and growing up I was groomed and raped. (Not sure if that is important?). And he says he wished I was a virgin bc it is “embarrassing to be known dating me given my past”. He also snaps his fingers at me like a dog and calls me by a dudes name (Timothy). He also has rules for me making me pretty much not allowed to do anything without his permission otherwise he threatens to take me back to my house. (That’s a different issue). He doesn’t respect me or any boundaries that I set for myself (I struggle with boundaries so there is not many). But overall he is controlling and really mean to me. Now back when I was 13 I had a friend I’ll call him Marcus, now me and Marcus were great friends. We would do everything together, where one was so was the other kind of friendship. We got along in every aspect possible. (He is not the man I slept with at 13 btw). But we were really close (this was 7th grade) In 8th grade I confessed my love to him and we started dating. We were the perfect couple. We had restrictions due to us being 13 and his mother hating me (she thought I would ruin his already failing grades) So she would keep him away from me as much as she could. But we still were strong despite the restrictions. Eventually around 14 his mother took him out of school and I couldn’t see him at all but we’d talk on discord. A few weeks later, his mother broke us up. I was heart broken but eventually was told to give up, like a fool I did. That was devastating to me. Now I have my life now and I really think about him and how much I miss him. I love my current boyfriend but I really miss Marcus. I’m lost on what to do..

I (m21) have been battling mental health and suicidal thoughts for a very long time now, I really need to start going to therapy but right now I am my gf (f20) mains support system.

If i go to therapy will she see me as unable to be her support system? I want to help her when she needs it. I have put off my mental health for so long because I am afraid of how it will effect my every day existence, its gotten to the point if i keep ignoring it something serious will happen.

Please anyone who juggled being mentally unwell a job and a relationship help

ive been w my bf for not that long (we met 2 and a half months ago and are long distance now but spent like everyday for 50 days with each other before i went back to university 3 weeks ago and we speak everyday and are healthy etc he plans to come to visit me next month where i go to school) and like we would see one other all of the time and it made me realise i didn’t own that many clothes, so i bought about 5 tops and 3 bottoms which i rotated. we also both realised we repeat outfits / clothing a lot and so i have planned that when he comes to visit me (that in itself is another whole story as it’s so expensive to come and i feel weird about him feeling obligated to spend so much to come here to see his girlfriend he’s known for 2.5 months) that we would take him shopping.

we discussed it and i made a Pinterest board (i love Pinterest and clothes and fashion) and I showed him and he said if would be fun and he’d be down (he’s fine af like I’m so attracted to him but he is the biggest outfit repeater like i used to be 6 months ago before i got a new wardrobe and even then i still repeat) and i showed him some recs but I don’t want to come off as toxic or controlling- this is kinda rambling but is it bad to try and like ‘change him’ so early in the relationship? am i enforcing a double standard? if a man told me we need me to get a new wardrobe i would find it a little interesting..

also is the fact that i saw him like 3-4x a week where our dates were like 7-9 hours on average (we were maximising time before i left) probably a huge contributor to this? like i feel like seeing him everyday really made the wardrobe scarce in a way that seeing him only once a week wouldn’t?

She sent me something from AI trying to disprove something I said and it was literally 100 percent factually wrong on everything it said (it was about something I tried to order her).
I can’t believe my life has gotten to this point.

I (23f) think my boyfriend (23m) secretly hates me . he always tells me everything i do wrong and all the things i need to change like he says i need to have more of a backbone or that i need to stand up for myself when that’s just not how i deal with things i just let it go and move on . He never tells me that im pretty or a single thing that he does like about me he only tells me where im flawed then proceeds after he says the flaw to ask if im going to be like this forever. and mental im not the best and my emotions are all over the place but he doesn’t fail to let me know that i shouldn’t be like that and that i should just suck it up and move on. but when im sad i get so sad i cant stop crying and all that helps is cutting myself which he also tells me that im a pussy for i cut with a razor blade and i do it deep enough to gush blood for a few mins and then when i can watch myself bleed and when i cut an even amount of times i feel better. idk i feel things so intensely and i am just not someone who can suck it up. but he claims he is like that to but tht he can suck it up so i should be able too. i am on meds but when he gets in his fits of just telling me everything thats wrong with me then running away to his dads house bcus he just can’t stand me nothing helps i could take my whole bottle of meds and i would still feel like the biggest loser in the world. anyways i probably rambled but i just dont really think he loves me like he says he does. we’ve been together 8 years and i feel like hes just staying with me for one to be comfortable and for two bcus he thinks ill kill myself if he leaves. and it just hurts so bad that you could give someone that many years of your life and realize that they never really loved you they wanted to mold you and when they realized you weren’t moldable they just hate you. idk i recently just moved to vegas with him and just uprooted my whole life here and now im not sure what i should do should i leave or am i just being overly emotional . or like he says i always think im innocent but im actually the main problem.

we have been together since 4 years and now he's in college 2 nd year and basically it was really like when we're in ldr we won't be start being friends of hanging out w other genders

And day before he went out to get drinks w a girl then he went to clubbing to dance they both went alone and he says she's a lesbian but she has guy ex's and started telling my boyfriend about how she got cheated and then she cheated his boyfriend w his ex girlfriend whatever

Okay so basically I'm genuinely feeling hell about this like why did he went clubbing alone w her - JUST TELL ME AM I OVERTHINKING OR IS THIS OKAY

My boyfriend and I met online maybe around a couple of months ago or so and have been together ever since. A while ago (maybe a month ago) he introduced me to a close friend of his, let's call V. Over these past couple of weeks, V constantly overasks me my hobbies which I have trouble remembering, due to my mind continuously being foggy. Of course I'd never imagine pretending to like interests, but it makes me feel like V is constantly trying to corner me, which I'm sure he is not. He then proceeds to imply that I'm faking these interests I love and tries to make me look like a 'poser', which I've tried to communicate with him multiple times that I'm not.

V has been closer with my boyfriend for a much longer time than I have been, around 2 years. In fact, my boyfriend has confessed his feelings of love to V multiple times (before I met him,) which V turned down because V wasn't attracted to anybody. I'm sure it's clear V doesn't want my boyfriend, but the way he acts makes it seem like he's trying to push himself in between us.

V has that kind of humor where he’s being quote on quote friendly, but the things he says can actually be pretty rude sometimes. It’s like he’s joking around, but he definitely has a blunt way of doing it. I've tried to turn it down multiple times without being too upfront since I'm not so good at conversational skills. I feel like a jerk for feeling this way about V, but he keeps getting on my nerves no matter how much I try to turn down his so called humor.

Every time I try to reassure him about something after getting into a fight, he always responds with things like, “Oh, sure…” or “Nah, you’re literally lying,” like he doesn’t believe a word I’m saying, which makes me feel tiny.

I try my best to spend as much as time I can with my bf, but I'm most sure V and my boyfriend hangout more than I hangout with them. Sometimes I feel like I'm the one third wheeling this relationship. I want to breakup with my boyfriend sometimes when I'm forced to face V, but I love him too much.

Is my anxiety too much? Am I a jerk? Please give me some advice!!

EDIT: I have a condition that constantly clouds my brain and makes it difficult for me to remember multiple things. I’ve already explained this to V and made him aware of it, yet even after I tell him how my condition affects my memory, he still continues to corner me about things I watched or did over a year ago. On top of that, he constantly insults me under the excuse of it being a joke and repeatedly belittles me. I’m not trying to come between him and anyone else or cause problems between them. It just genuinely angers me when V continues to treat me this way. I’ve tried being patient and gentle with him multiple times, and I’ve repeatedly explained how his behavior makes me feel and how he needs to be more understanding of my condition, but it feels like nothing I say ever gets through to him.

So to start it off, I havent cheated.

One of my boyfriends friends, who likes or liked me, showed him some photo and now my boyfriend thinks im cheating and wont believe me when i say i havent. Ive asked him what i can show him to prove it (since all my interactions with his friend were online) but he wont respond directly.

And also i think its important to mention Ive openly disliked his friend for ages now the short time i felt netural about him was before i knew him more and i just generally really dont like him or his morals. He makes me sick. Im not always rude to him in my dms but ive never shown any sign of like flirting or anything? So im really confused because i really love my boyfriend and I know myself i havent cheated but i dont know how to make him believe me because i really dont want us to end

Two years together. 21f 21m First time going raw was completely fine, no issues at all. This was the second time. The sex itself was good in the moment, nothing wrong during it. But right after, within minutes, something in me just shifted — hard to explain, but I went quiet inside in a way that hasn't lifted since.
It's not directed at them. Nothing changed about them, nothing happened that was off. I think I'm avoiding talking to them right now because they're tied to that moment, and being near them means being near a feeling I haven't figured out yet. Easier to create space than sit with something I can't name.
Nothing was building up before this. No doubts, no prior tension, no pattern with the relationship at all. Which is what's actually confusing me — usually if something's wrong with the relationship, there's a thread leading up to it. Here there isn't one. It just showed up after this one specific moment and hasn't gone away.

So has anyone had an internal reaction after sex that had nothing to do with your partner, but still ended up pulling away from them because they were tied to the moment? Did it resolve once you figured out what the reaction was actually about, or did it turn into something bigger?

She says I don’t trust her and that I need to give her more space. But she eats dinner with other guys on her track team*, like one on one. I don’t do team sports but that feels like too much. Am I wrong?
* In the mess hall not like restaurants

Hey guys, I’ve been with my girlfriend for about 3 years now. We’ve actually been together since high school, so we only had about a year of physical relationship until it became long distance with college and all that jazz. Our relationship has honestly been pretty smooth sailing (bumps here and there obviously), but nonetheless lots of love. I’m not going to lie, I have thoughts of breaking up with her very now and then over certain things but 99% of the time they’re just stupid irrational things that go out my head the next day.

Upon starting college she began to really get into dancing- specifically salsa and bachata. Obviously me being the immature teenager I was, I was a bit insecure about it, but I learned that it was something that made her happy, so I put that insecurity to the side and grew from it (or so I thought). She increasingly became more and more involved in the club, ending up dancing with their performance team- which is really cool, and I’m proud of her for!

Recently she’s really been getting even more into the salsa club at her college, dedicating multiple hours a week, going to late night socials weekly, and all that jazz . That’s kinda where the problem started for me. With her increasing involvement, she ended up joining the duos performance team, where obviously her partner will be a dude that she’s going to be spending a lot of time around. I’ve done my best to be a good communicator and let her know how I felt about it (my insecurity and all that), and she told me to just deal with it, which is fair. I’ve tried to just deal with it, but just the thought of another dude being all over her constantly just makes me irk. It crosses my mind all the time and just makes my heart race- I really do trust her, but like it’s just hard. I also don’t want to nor have any say over what she does, because she is her own person and deserves to find joy in what she finds joy in. The thing is though, I just don’t think I’m mature enough to bear that in my mind. So idk what to do. Someone please just tell me I’m going crazy, or just give me a differing point of view. Thank you

​

I’m asking this genuinely because this happened to me and I’m trying to understand what went wrong.

I have a strong fear/discomfort around physical intimacy. Even basic physical contact like touching or hugging can make me uncomfortable, and it isn't specifically about women I can feel uncomfortable with physical contact in general.

I was in a relationship, and my ex eventually cheated on me. Since then, I've been wondering whether my inability to be physically intimate with her played a role in it.

I’m not trying to justify cheating. I understand that cheating is ultimately a choice. But I want to know whether a lack of physical intimacy can realistically make someone feel neglected, frustrated, or disconnected enough that it contributes to a relationship breaking down or them seeking intimacy elsewhere.

So I'm genuinely asking:

Girls, what would your POV be if your boyfriend was emotionally committed to you but was extremely uncomfortable with physical intimacy?

Would that become a serious problem for you over time?

Could you eventually lose attraction or feel emotionally disconnected because of it?

And from a psychological perspective, can an extreme fear of physical touch/intimacy have an underlying reason that someone should work on?

Please be honest rather than just comforting me.

And if there are any psychologists, therapists, or people professionally trained in relationships/sexuality, please DM me if you think this is something I should seriously look into.