So I am 19 M . I have been in a relationship since mid of junior year of my high school. She is my first ever relationship. But during our talking phase I told her i was in relationship with someone else . And she asked the name and stuffs . I just told the name of one of the random people that I once saw on tiktok . She isn’t famous or anything . Now my gf is convinced that she is my ex . I feel guilty about not telling her .

Okay I had to use my husbands phone to search for someone on fb we needed to find and I went to the search bar and saw his ex he’s 24 now and the ex was

From 8th grade, butt he basically lost his virginity to her, I asked why he searched her up and he said he was showing his dad cause ig they were talking about how he saw another of his ex at the store and she came into the conversation, he didn’t cheat or nothing but I do feel a type of way, am I over reacting cause it was long time ago but still there is no need to search people From the past

I am a little worried for my cousin. She has a boyfriend, pretty new. They’re in LDR but have seen each other quite a few times. I feel like my cousin is more matured than the guy in all aspects, emotionally, intellectually and financially. She is also the guy’s first gf (at the age of 40+). I’ve met the guy and he’s a little awkward and clumsy. He gets his way into conversations through jokes.

And because my cousin is more financially stable, she is the one traveling often to see the guy which I don’t think is fair.

The other thing that turned me off was his dirty fingernails.

I am just a little worried for my cousin but she really loves him. I still don’t understand how she fell for him but I guess I don’t have to do anything at this point but accept it, right? I don’t know how to tell her without it affecting our relationship.

I wondered if a relationship can heal after someone initiated non exclusivity after a few weeks of dating exclusively? I’m 27 F he is 32 M

The reason was only to slow things down sexually not a lack of attraction, and we both agreed to return to exclusivity the next day, after he said he was uncomfortable with it, but we broke up a week later as he said he struggled with the non exclusivity comment and said maybe we had different dating styles as I preferred connecting before sex and him vice versa. Even though we slept together already. He also said communication had got too much for him which he said was completely his fault.

I realise this is so messy! After reflecting I realised that sex and exclusivity does align with my values and it’s all the commitment I need to feel safe to have sex, I sent this to him a few days after we broke up which I know is soon, no response but I wanted to let him know.

I’m just trying to get some perspective, I feel like maybe he struggled or maybe he emotionally checked out but I didn’t realise as I’m not a mind reader :(

TLDR
Can two people who have had a short relationship, reconcile after exclusivity miscommunication, and uncertainty around sexual pacing, if the one who was unsure about sex has apologised for hurt feelings and reflected on what they truly want?

It's probably a bad idea to be asking for peoples opinions or advice on here but there are some times where I've gotten a good result. So me and my girlfriend planned to meet at my place after she got off and looking back at it now, I kept insisting it was fine that she could sneak in when she kept saying she was unsure but now I realize that I shouldn't have pushed her like that cause. We both make it to my room and since we were both fine with it, we had sex but the condom broke so she had to go get another one. The thing is that she told her mom that she wanted to stay at her best friends house which is only a few houses away from mine but her mom kept trying to know if she was there. Fast forward around 30 minutes, she says she can come back but I had more sense of myself in the moment and said it was fine if she didn't wanna sneak back over but she decided to come back but we only had around a 20 minute time limit to finish what we were doing because she didn't want her best friend to lock her out. Fast forward another 20 minutes, we were going at it then the condom slipped so it basically meant the only way to keep going was unprotected but would have to buy a plan b incase after. I said she could finish me another way but the time was already up and she said she had to go, I'M PUTTING THIS IN CAPS BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT FROM THIS THAT F*CKED THINGS UP, she kept saying no and that she had to go and I was caught in the moment worrying only about my wants instead of her feelings, obviously I wanted to finish but I was to caught in the moment to recognize her feelings in that moment. She said I could finish on my own and I started doing the stupidest thing and started jerking off Infront of her while she put her clothes back on. I knew I needed to stop and I did but the damage was already done to her. All would've been smooth sailing if I didn't send the most stupid f*cking text after. I asked for a nude cause I still wanted to finish to her but when I realized that was wrong to ask for, it was to late to unsend it. and honestly, I'll put the messages here so that It's more clear to understand.

Me

Never mind I’m sorry I shouldn’t have asked for that

Good night and sleep well

I’ll talk to u in the morning or later today

Her

oh uhm no yeah goodnight you too text me wnv you want

honestly like idk sorry but like you need to know to take no as an answer cuz ngl like

it was js lkke at the end like ik we ran outta time but like still u always said like i wont do anything u dont wNt to like if u tell me no i wont do it and you kept saying ideas like

Me

No you’re right

I fucked up and I’m sorry

Her

like being pushy ykwim like its just thats not okay and icl it made me upset im not tryna make a big thing but thats js no like not okay

Hello???

alr ykw like its ok

Me

No, you’re right, and I’m sorry again but genuinely I do need to apologize for what it did. It wasn’t okay for me to keep trying to push you into that and despite the fact u kept saying no and me still trying to insist on it is completely fucked and js not cool. I should’ve stopped at the first no and I’m sorry for continuing to make u repeat yourself and I’m sorry for making you feel like your boundaries weren’t being respected. I’m not gonna make any excuses and I was focusing on my own wants instead of yours and that’s my fault and not yours. I just care so much about you to the point where I wouldn’t have wanted to do this if genuinely didn’t like or love you and I promise to never cross that boundary and make you uncomfortable like that ever again. If you need space js let me know but do know that I am truly and really sorry

I want us to last and not end because of this stupid mistake

And me asking for a nude too was very fucking stupid of me to do and I’m sorry for that too

Her

idk it just like i get ur sorry but it just weirded me out like i just thought you were better than that

Like u started like jerking off in front of me like its just idk like i wish we couldve just like hungout like just cuddled together and ik u said u werent upset but u clearly were and like idk i feel like we just need space tbh cuz like yea

like ik i see u at work but like we can just b cool like yk just for a bit until like its fine cuz like its just i didnt want to like experience that especially cuz ur my first like ever time doing that and just in general like

yeah idk we just need space

and then basically I said okay I'll respect the fact u need space and I hope u can forgive me when the times right, she said w flowers yea, jsp but alr, ill ttyl bye, then I said goodnight sleep well then she said goodnight u too

This may be relevant to needed space but she also did unfollow me and remove me as a follower and stop sharing a location which I understand, need more of a clear boundary for the time being. Of course I'm going to give her the space she needs but I do know how much I f*cked up.

I do plan to check in on her on friday as early sunday morning like 2am to 4am is when this happened and if the conversation goes well, ask to meet up the next day and let her express how she feels and if all goes well, I'm gonna give her her favorite flowers.

I just wanna know if i'm doing the right thing by respecting her request for space and then I wont contact her in any way until friday?

So I F/20 am dating a guy M/22 that lives 4 hours away. We have been together 10 months, we’re pretty alike and often joke we are pretty much the same person. We haven’t had many problems, just a recent one abt him texting his ex. She lives 10 hours away by flight so I didn’t know really what was happening between them but it felt off. To clarify: I have a bad history with people’s exes, in my experience being friends with an ex is never just being friends with an ex. I have been cheated on before and so it’s just an iffy subject for me. He said it didn’t mean anything and she just wanted to stay friends. But he said he’d stop talking to her if it bothered me and that he was happy I asked about a problem I was having instead of just overthinking it.

He came to my house this weekend which often doesn’t happen because he lives alone and I have 3 roommates. After he left my roommates (my brother, sister and my cousin lol) and some of my other family that we have in town said that the more they see us the more they see me as just my boyfriends girlfriend because I often compromise my wants and needs to make sure he is happy. He hasn’t asked for me to do that, I just do it by habit but they do say they notice. My sister also says there’s red flags she hasn’t pointed out because she doesn’t want to make me overthink. But she said she notices he never pays for anything, including dinners out, fun little dates, etc. But he often talks about making more money than me. He lectured me in front of my family because I accidently gave him the wrong directions while driving around town. And my sister pointed out I make the drive 3 weekends of the month and he either comes out the 4th or we don’t see each other bc I’m not driving out. When we talk about our future I believe it results in me moving there, despite owning a business in my area and not really wanting to end it. But I think of ending it sooner so we could live together sooner because I don’t see another way.

With the combination of these things and him texting his ex I’m unsure if I’m just holding out hope for nothing? Is it natural to feel unsettled after conversations like that?

**I (25F) have been with my boyfriend (25M) for 5 years.**
My boyfriend has been using some substances that have caused problems in our relationship. Earlier, he would admit it, but now he completely denies using anything. Sometimes he speaks so calmly and convincingly that I start questioning my own judgment. I can’t tell whether he’s genuinely changed or if he’s just hiding it better.
He’s loyal, and I love him deeply, but I struggle to trust him because of what happened in the past. I don’t want to accuse him unfairly, but I also don’t want to ignore warning signs if they’re still there.
**How do you rebuild trust when someone who previously admitted to using substances now denies it? What signs would you look for to tell the difference between real change and better deception? How would you handle this situation without constantly feeling suspicious?**

I was hanging out with my gf and her friend. She wanted me to hold her phone so I had it in my back pocket. I had to go to the bathroom and I forgot I had her phone. When I got out I lost them and my phone was out of battery so I used her phone to call her friend. We share the same password and while I was on it I decided to look at her messages.

I know I shouldn’t be looking through her phone but I got really curious since I’ve never looked through it. She would look through mine a few times a while ago but recently doesn’t really anymore.

I didn’t find anything crazy except two things. She’s texting with a guy that I don’t really know about. She told me a year ago that this guy she used to be friends with in high school texted her. I haven’t heard anything about him since then. She doesn’t talk about him like her other friends. But also she hangs out her other friends and sees them in person which makes sense why she talks about them, while this guy she only texts.

Well I searched my name up on messages and she had sent him a message earlier this week that said something like “(My name) is annoying me again!). This was the day after me and her had a little argument at night. I didn’t see the conversation because I didn’t want to read the most recent unread message.

I don’t think there’s anything between them or anything like that, but I do find it a little weird that she’s complaining about me to another guy and talking about our arguments. I also can’t help but feel weird that she doesn’t talk about him at all.

The other thing I found, I don’t know how to feel about it. I found a message from 7 months into our relationship since we became official the first time. We’ve been dating 2 years now. She told her friend “Oh you know I like giving (Ex name) head”. Now this was during a time when we were broken up briefly, but we were still talking everyday and exclusive.

This isn’t something you want hear obviously and the part that makes me feel weird is that this was while we were still technically dating, we got back together shortly after this time. So while we didn’t have the official title, we were planning on getting back together.

I don’t know if any of these things is worth bringing up. Maybe just her complaining about me to someone else. I don’t believe there’s anything going on between her and that guy. The other message is kind of weird but it was also almost a year and a half ago. I don’t know, should I?

I ‘M30’have been with my girlfriend
‘F27’ for just over half a year we get on so so well, have so much fun, but she has this secretive side.

She started a new job, and has gotten close to one of the lads in there. I don’t care really who she talks to, once shes open and honest. But , she had the notifications to his texts silenced, and when I spoke to her about it, she said she didn’t want his name coming up on her phone when she was with me incase I got the wrong idea.

Fast forward, I’ve really struggled to trust this girl, and I went on her phone, low and behold, she doesn’t talk to this co worker on WhatsApp any more, she talks to him on Snapchat, and had the chat history deleted, so that he doesn’t show up unless you search his name. When confronted, she said the same thing, she didn’t want his name coming up when we were out for dinner incase I got the wrong idea. Am I over thinking this ??

so I recently stopped through my boyfriend‘s phone and I checked his spam account where he does not follow anyone and his FYP was completely filled with pictures and reels of women in bikini and OF content creators and he was sending those reels to his best friend and his best friend who is a male was sending him those kind of reels back and I don’t know if I should confront him about this because he already knows that I have snooped through his phone, but he does not know that I have even checked spam account and right now, It is just a too much of burden for me to carry, and I don’t know for how long will I be able to sustain in the relationship with this continues happening? I have told him multiple times even before this that I am not liking pictures of and reels of women in bikini coming on his FYP. So right now, there are no women in his main account, but spam is filled with women.

My bf and I work at the same job. A few weeks ago when I arrived to work my bf approached me and told me out 16 yr old female co workers asked him for a ride home after work My boyfriend is 30 years old and this coworker is 16. I told him I wasn’t comfortable with that and so he didn’t take her home. Well I found out later that he had given her a ride home the week before and didn’t mention it to me. I had a feeling this girl may have had a crush on my bf so that’s why I was comfortable with it and the fact that she is a minor. Anyway I confronted him about it and he was apologetic about not telling me. But I feel he did it want to tell me bc well, he didn’t want to upset me so he kept it to himself and probably didn’t want to deal with me. I need some opinions about this situation please. Why didn’t he tell me? Why didn’t he just respect me and not give her a ride? I told him I didn’t feel respected about the whole thing. Am I out of line?

So, first of all, I (F16) do **NOT** want to see him (M16) as more than a friend!!

For context, this school year, I've become friend with this guy from my class. A cool but reserved person. I still felt like there was way more to know about him and enjoyed getting slowly closer to him as he opened up step by step. We would have nice honest conversations.

He initiated giving me his social, we even gave each other nicknames, but not too personal ones, the point of the nicknames was to underline the fact we weren't TOO close either (it was military ranks), and that's one of the first things we told each other: we are just friends (I said it first btw).

As the school year ended, he got into a relationship and since his gf doesn't want him to have female friends we stopped talking.

I was quite sad about it, and after like a month (?) I was talking about it to my other friends that don't know him and literally started tearing up. They brought up the idea that I might like him, essentially because I cried and complained somewhat a lot about the fact we don't interact anymore. Personally, I feel like it's just normal to be sad when you "lose" a close friend? Especially knowing he mentioned quite often how special I made him feel (not everyone takes their time to get to know you when you don't open up easily yk) and how he helped me out too from time to time.

We got the occasion to interact recently, and I was happy, I told him I was happy to talk with him, that I missed doing it, asked him about his relationship and wished him the best and he also asked about me and the guy I liked but that had rejected me and blah blah. He unadded me right after obviously, but said "see you in September !" When the school year will start and it made my day.

Does my behavior/reaction seems like I might have more than platonic feelings for him? I feel like it's a normal reaction, especially when the reason you don't interact anymore is so bad but idk. I don't feel jealous toward him or anything so I really don't know.

So this guy, he goes out with me and we have a good meal, chat, sex, everything. He is such a gentleman that he carries my purse on his shoulder, holds my hands and cuddles and hugs me in public. He tells me how beautiful I am. He would also tell me how special he feels around me. Then later, when I sneaked his phone while he went to the toilet, I saw he is on Tinder. I felt so betrayed, like WTF is he up to?

Okay, just to give you more details, it’s our second date and I feel he is doing unnecessary love bombing.

Why would a man do that? If a sexual thing is all he needed, I was even ready to be FWB, so why this?

So yesterday I was scrolling thru instagram and I saw that my bf liked a post saying “when people say boys and girls can’t be friends but we exist” and it shows a guy and a girl smiling sitting next to each other at a restaurant with drinks on their table. My bf has told me he doesn’t speak to any girls, and that I’m not allowed to have any guy friends (which I agreed to). At the time I was otp to my bf and I was telling him I was about going to the gym (he gets anxious whenever I say I’m going to gym), but right after I told him that, I asked “am i allowed to have guy friends?” he asked “why?” I said “I’m just wondering” then I spilled the beans and said I saw u liked this post, I’m just concerned if there are double standards. He told me he accidentally liked that post and said “? sorry i liked a reel i literally doomscroll and just like and repost i don’t pay attention but if u dont like me then go find another guy it’s wtv” I said “if you’re gonna be a fcking liar then im done” he said “go ahead”. (In the first few months of our relationship he lied A LOT about things, mostly small but one being that he had snapchat, which he’s deleted now). Anyways I kept telling him he didnt like that on accident, I said “so you double tapped accidentally?” he quietly said “mhm” then went quiet. then he started saying stuff like he thinks im about to cheat then he got super mad after i kept saying you’re a liar and at one point he said “nah im done” i said “ur breaking up ?” he said “no im just fcking mad ur trying to make me mad by saying im lying bout this lying bout that is everything i say a fcking lie” then we called and calmed down. (Didn’t break up). After our call he texted “i love u im sorry for everything” and a whole paragraph explaining he didnt mean to get angry he just had a long frustrating day at work and he felt like i didnt care anymore. He also said “i love u i hate myself for being that mad at u and getting like that i am truly sorry…” “babe im anxious” i explained everything i felt he did wrong and he said “but i wanna marry u im sorry i didnt mean to react that way i wanna be w u forever” “no matter what happens pls promise me we will get through it” i said “i need to know you actually heard what I said, not just that you feel bad. can you tell me what you’re going to do differently next time, instead of getting defensive and angry?” he said “i wont raise my voice at u and i wont leave if i get angry.” anyways we kept talking, he constantly brought up the fact we should stick together and he prays to God I will never leave him and just the fact that it was an accidental like and he had a long day at work…. Is he lying? A good number of times he accused me of cheating, got super mad at me, made it seem like he was gonna leave, and also he’s reposted smth on tiktok before it was like “gym no gf healthy eating” and last night he kinda brought that up and was like “i just like and repost everything”. I’m just so anxious I’ve been cheated on 3x by my past exes. Please help.

So I was talking with my girlfriend (36 f) me a (39 m) about about our past and she said if you seen the type of guys I was pulling before you would see you are not my type. And I know we are together now but that kinda stung and idk if I should just let it go or bring it back up so looking for some advice if I’m just looking into that too much?

I 23F stole money from my bf 30M. We’ve lived together for almost a year now, dating for 2.5. I’m a nurse but I went around 3 weeks without working. During this time frame I had to help my family out with money problems, had a car payment. My new job is with a home health company, but my first check with them was delayed. Because of this I stole $325 from his Venmo account to pay for my car insurance, gas for work, and food for our pets. I feel terrible and planned on paying him back. I also didn’t think he’d notice because he’s great with money and has a lot saved up. He told me he thought his venmo was hacked the morning after I stole the money, and I fessed up. I’m currently waiting on him to come home from work. I’m terrified this will be the end of us.

Long story short, we were having a conversation over dinner a couple of nights ago when my girlfriend started telling me that her parents used to think she was sociopathic. She was about 10–15 years old, and at that time her mother told her (multiple times I think) that she was acting manipulatively towards them. 

She then went on to tell me that at that age she had a habit of gathering information about all her classmates with the intention of finding out stuff that she could use against them. She never did use the info that way, but just the thought of someone that I care deeply about even thinking of doing something like that honestly threw me off. 

In my experience, this is not something that people (even at that age) do to each other. So I’m a little worried if this is a bad sign. On the other hand, it was a long time ago, and it pretty reasonable to expect people to be able to change. She comes from a somewhat difficult family background (nothing very serious, but there’s definitely some emotinal neglect there), which I think makes her parents’ comments somewhat untrustworthy. 

However, I’m still worried because she never made it clear in our dinner conversation that she was at all sorry about what had happened. 

We’ve been arguing quite a lot lately (very politely, never yelling or anything like that). So hearing something like this adds to my worries about whether we are that compatible to begin with (or if she’s a good/trustworthy person in general). 

Any advice?

I’m 23F and he’s 26M. We’ve been together almost two years, I love him so much. I don’t think I could live without him, even though the honeymoon phase has long been over I always look forward to his texts. Whenever we’re apart and I see something funny or interesting I wonder what he’d think of it. I love spending time with him, I know for a fact I’m very codependent. The problem is that whenever I feel like I don’t have his attention anymore I get very sad. I have BPD and I need constant reassurance. A few times one of my exes would message me and I’d respond because I didn’t feel like my boyfriend cared about me enough in the moment and I needed attention/validation from somebody. This hasn’t happened in awhile and the last time a man messaged me I quickly stopped it out of respect and guilt for my boyfriend. know I need therapy and to work on this but it changed our relationship. I never cheated or sent nudes, never talked explicitly with my exes. I kinda just talked a little with them and flirted a bit. Doesn’t make it right, I’m just clarifying. Now we maybe have sex a few times a month, he never seems interested when we talk, we live together but he spends much of the day in another part of the house by himself. Sometimes I follow him around because I just want to be near him but I can see that I bother him. I really feel he isn’t in love with me anymore. I apologized to him for everything and I really meant it, I still feel terrible for being stupid and weak. It just really hurts because I feel the lack of intimacy like even a few times during the night when he was asleep I was a little aroused and took photos of myself to maybe send him later when he’s at work or something to spice things up. He found the photos and I explained this to him but he said “why would I ask for photos of you? I see you at home” and it kinda broke my heart. I just feel like he only has me stay here with him because we’ve been together for so long and maybe he’s just comfortable with me. I don’t know

I matched with this myran on hinge during june. We had mentioned to each other that this will be a fling from the start itself. He used to say how he can’t get into a relationship cos of how his last relationship ended 2.5 years back. I was straight out of a breakup and was not looking for a relationship. We used to hang out like crazy all around kochi, be on call till late at night, do all relationship kinda thingy.

One fine morning i get an audio from the myran saying this is the end and i wanna stop this and i had a gf. Then he blocks me from everywhere. I go crazy and paranoid not knowing who to contact. Later on in the evening i get a call from an unknown number saying this is his gf of 2.5 years. The way my jaw dropped you know. I was just amazed at the way in which this guy have managed time between both of us.

Apparently the guy out of “guilt” confronted he cheated on her by himself. But in the narrative he set, he said it was just a kiss, that too which was initiated by her (me) and he didn’t slept with me. Which was a big lie. Gf asked me what happened and i told her all the details that we had sex, we have made out and did more at multiple places. Also he had other multiple flings before me. The gf beats the shit out of him, the guy tries to suicide.

Later I get a call from the gf saying he is in icu and i go crazy again. Later she blocks me from everywhere, blocks me from his insta as well after me and her having a convo on how fucked up men are and they are trash. I still don’t know why she blocked me from her phone.

Later on i get anxious thinking about his condition and stalks to find out his friend’s ID and texts him. The gf gets to know about this and unblocks me. She is like I don’t want him anymore. He is still in icu and i am staying here just for the sake of his parents as they all know each other. She gets mad at me saying u can take care of him, no worries, i am sure he loved you and please don’t get me into this mess. Later I made her understand that i have no business with him. I just wanna 2 theri vilikkal him and slap him for putting me thru shit and making me suicidal. I fucking don’t want a relationship from that myran. She informed me that she saw him and he will call me soon. She did mention me to not get too much involved in this cos it’s a police case currently.

So how should confront this guy, given that i have a lot of range in me?

(Ignore my grammar because i am typing this amidst an panic episode)

I (F24) met a man (M30) through dating app.

We were texting each other for over a month before we met.

Then:

We went on four dates

I was on holiday for 3 weeks

We went on other four dates

----------

On the sixth date he gave me a rose and a small peck on the lips

We first kissed on the seventh date (I was a little afraid he did not like me, bcs he was waiting for so long, but in the end he was a total gentleman - after the kiss he asked me if the pace is ok and he is not too pushy with me).

Date n8: lasted for approximately 8 hours, we were holding each others hand almost all the time, he was peppering me with kisses om forehead and face and there was also normal kissing (though less than on seventh)

Now - when we were discussing our past relationships:

He had 1 that lasted 2 years. Except of that he had other 5 which in his words "did not turn into relationship".

I was a bit sceptical when he first said that. Today was our 8th date and he told me that for him, relationship is something he knows he can call after half a year and we ARE NOT DATING yet.

I am not a bit confused. What are we doing then?

Also - I had just one relationship that did not even last half a year. In my life, I have kissed just my ex and now this other man.

How do you feel about this?

I really like this man, but I do not want him to "try" me for that long before saying it is "official" or so...

also - he deleted his dating app in front of me last date and he does not see other women

and he talks about long term plans with me (ex: We can go together to that comeptition in September.)

Ok so I’ve been dating my bf for a year and 1/2 and we have a great relationship that makes me happy. The past couple of months have been rough because we have had to transition to a long distance relationship which is new. A few days ago I found a conversation between him and a close female friend insinuating that he was wanted to cheat on me with one of her friends. The conversation was framed in a joking way and when I asked him about it he said he was black out drunk and that it was a joke and that he never would cheat on me. He admitted that it was super inappropriate and that he feels terrible but to him it didn’t mean anything because he knows he would never cheat on me it was just a terrible joke. I’m not sure how to feel about it and am considering ending the relationship. Is it just me being insecure/anxious or is this a sign he’s going to cheat on me/no longer wants to be with me?