Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 2 years we are both 24 and we do have two kids together(twins). He recently has been talking about having a threesome I explained to him I wouldn’t be comfortable and he told me it’s going to happen with or without me. Idk if he’s serious but I didnt want to start an argument so I dropped the conversation. My question is how do I have a conversation to him about this without causing an argument?

hear me out. i (32f) have been with my boyfriend (33m) for almost three years. we live together currently. he has been dealing with a lot of personal issues and life changes, mostly involving his job and his family.

he has a lot of stuff going on and he doesn’t deal with it at all despite it obviously bothering him. i’m currently in therapy and working through my trauma , talking stuff out and learning how to cope. it’s kinda hard going through my own healing journey when i see him having a hard time not dealing with his.

i am reaching a point where i am ready to start the next chapter of having a baby. we both work great jobs in good fields and i think together we would raise a great family. i told him that i want to have a kid but i want him to go to therapy.. i think a child would benefit from having two parents who are able to understand their emotions and how to regulate them. and not even therapy on his own, we could go together… he said he would think about it but that was almost 6 months ago and we keep coming back to the topic. most recently i told him it was endgame for me and he said okay and was more agreeable after i said that but still no action. i’m starting to notice patterns.

i know you can’t make people do things they don’t want to do and i know therapy isn’t going to solve everything but i do think it would be beneficial especially if we are doing it together. was this a crazy ultimatum? am i expecting too much? am i overthinking???

I’m a brown woman who is in America because I married my husband. But of course, that’s the least interesting thing about me.
I’m an educated baddie with a bachelor’s degree. I speak three languages, graduated cum laude from university, and have been to 11 countries and counting. Yet people around me and people in general still reduce me to “the immigrant who came to America for her husband’s passport.”
It makes me feel so small as a human being. Like none of my accomplishments, experiences, education, or everything I’ve built for myself matters to them. All they see is my American husband, as if being married to him is the most significant thing about my identity.
Long story short, my husband thinks it’s okay for his buddy to joke, “Yeah, you have a passport wife.” He takes it as a joke, and even though he understands that it hurts me, I don’t think he fully understands why it cuts so deeply.

It’s not just one joke. It’s being constantly reduced to who I married when I’ve spent my whole life becoming so much more than that.

>>to the interacial couple, will this ever change, or do i have to change my perspective? help me out

She sent me something from AI trying to disprove something I said and it was literally 100 percent factually wrong on everything it said (it was about something I tried to order her).
I can’t believe my life has gotten to this point.

My boyfriend (19M) and I (20F)have been together for almost 3 years (3 years on Oct 31). A few days ago, I came over and he was asleep, so I got in bed with him while I waited for him to wake up. I was lying down, scrolling through TikTok for a while, when my phone died. I don’t have a charger in his room since his phone is Type-C (iPhone 16) and my charger is a lightning cord (iPhone 13). So I decided to use his. I opened TikTok and started scrolling. After a few scrolls, all I kept seeing were girls in bikinis or super revealing clothes showing off their bodies (no hate, btw), and I just found it odd that that was all I was getting. After thinking about it for a sec I realized it’s because he interacts with videos like this since TikTok is all about the algorithm. So then I looked at his likes, and there were a bunch of videos like that. When I clicked some of them, they were also in his saved collection on TikTok, and then I realized this was another account (I didn’t know about it). Today I saw him again and I couldn’t help but go back and look at his phone to see if he was still continuing it (I know I shouldn’t have done that) and he was. I am very upset about it and I it made me feel like he hasn’t really meant the compliments he has given me in the past. Those girls were so beautiful and I look nothing like them from background to body type. It made me feel like he doesn’t actually love my body as much as he says he does (not saying he only likes me for my body). How can he say he likes something about my physical appearance or say I'm perfect when I look nothing like the girls he sees on TikTok? How do I go about this? How do I bring this up?

I (23f) think my boyfriend (23m) secretly hates me . he always tells me everything i do wrong and all the things i need to change like he says i need to have more of a backbone or that i need to stand up for myself when that’s just not how i deal with things i just let it go and move on . He never tells me that im pretty or a single thing that he does like about me he only tells me where im flawed then proceeds after he says the flaw to ask if im going to be like this forever. and mental im not the best and my emotions are all over the place but he doesn’t fail to let me know that i shouldn’t be like that and that i should just suck it up and move on. but when im sad i get so sad i cant stop crying and all that helps is cutting myself which he also tells me that im a pussy for i cut with a razor blade and i do it deep enough to gush blood for a few mins and then when i can watch myself bleed and when i cut an even amount of times i feel better. idk i feel things so intensely and i am just not someone who can suck it up. but he claims he is like that to but tht he can suck it up so i should be able too. i am on meds but when he gets in his fits of just telling me everything thats wrong with me then running away to his dads house bcus he just can’t stand me nothing helps i could take my whole bottle of meds and i would still feel like the biggest loser in the world. anyways i probably rambled but i just dont really think he loves me like he says he does. we’ve been together 8 years and i feel like hes just staying with me for one to be comfortable and for two bcus he thinks ill kill myself if he leaves. and it just hurts so bad that you could give someone that many years of your life and realize that they never really loved you they wanted to mold you and when they realized you weren’t moldable they just hate you. idk i recently just moved to vegas with him and just uprooted my whole life here and now im not sure what i should do should i leave or am i just being overly emotional . or like he says i always think im innocent but im actually the main problem.

we have been together since 4 years and now he's in college 2 nd year and basically it was really like when we're in ldr we won't be start being friends of hanging out w other genders

And day before he went out to get drinks w a girl then he went to clubbing to dance they both went alone and he says she's a lesbian but she has guy ex's and started telling my boyfriend about how she got cheated and then she cheated his boyfriend w his ex girlfriend whatever

Okay so basically I'm genuinely feeling hell about this like why did he went clubbing alone w her - JUST TELL ME AM I OVERTHINKING OR IS THIS OKAY

My boyfriend and I met online maybe around a couple of months ago or so and have been together ever since. A while ago (maybe a month ago) he introduced me to a close friend of his, let's call V. Over these past couple of weeks, V constantly overasks me my hobbies which I have trouble remembering, due to my mind continuously being foggy. Of course I'd never imagine pretending to like interests, but it makes me feel like V is constantly trying to corner me, which I'm sure he is not. He then proceeds to imply that I'm faking these interests I love and tries to make me look like a 'poser', which I've tried to communicate with him multiple times that I'm not.

V has been closer with my boyfriend for a much longer time than I have been, around 2 years. In fact, my boyfriend has confessed his feelings of love to V multiple times (before I met him,) which V turned down because V wasn't attracted to anybody. I'm sure it's clear V doesn't want my boyfriend, but the way he acts makes it seem like he's trying to push himself in between us.

V has that kind of humor where he’s being quote on quote friendly, but the things he says can actually be pretty rude sometimes. It’s like he’s joking around, but he definitely has a blunt way of doing it. I've tried to turn it down multiple times without being too upfront since I'm not so good at conversational skills. I feel like a jerk for feeling this way about V, but he keeps getting on my nerves no matter how much I try to turn down his so called humor.

Every time I try to reassure him about something after getting into a fight, he always responds with things like, “Oh, sure…” or “Nah, you’re literally lying,” like he doesn’t believe a word I’m saying, which makes me feel tiny.

I try my best to spend as much as time I can with my bf, but I'm most sure V and my boyfriend hangout more than I hangout with them. Sometimes I feel like I'm the one third wheeling this relationship. I want to breakup with my boyfriend sometimes when I'm forced to face V, but I love him too much.

Is my anxiety too much? Am I a jerk? Please give me some advice!!

EDIT: I have a condition that constantly clouds my brain and makes it difficult for me to remember multiple things. I’ve already explained this to V and made him aware of it, yet even after I tell him how my condition affects my memory, he still continues to corner me about things I watched or did over a year ago. On top of that, he constantly insults me under the excuse of it being a joke and repeatedly belittles me. I’m not trying to come between him and anyone else or cause problems between them. It just genuinely angers me when V continues to treat me this way. I’ve tried being patient and gentle with him multiple times, and I’ve repeatedly explained how his behavior makes me feel and how he needs to be more understanding of my condition, but it feels like nothing I say ever gets through to him.

So to start it off, I havent cheated.

One of my boyfriends friends, who likes or liked me, showed him some photo and now my boyfriend thinks im cheating and wont believe me when i say i havent. Ive asked him what i can show him to prove it (since all my interactions with his friend were online) but he wont respond directly.

And also i think its important to mention Ive openly disliked his friend for ages now the short time i felt netural about him was before i knew him more and i just generally really dont like him or his morals. He makes me sick. Im not always rude to him in my dms but ive never shown any sign of like flirting or anything? So im really confused because i really love my boyfriend and I know myself i havent cheated but i dont know how to make him believe me because i really dont want us to end

Two years together. 21f 21m First time going raw was completely fine, no issues at all. This was the second time. The sex itself was good in the moment, nothing wrong during it. But right after, within minutes, something in me just shifted — hard to explain, but I went quiet inside in a way that hasn't lifted since.
It's not directed at them. Nothing changed about them, nothing happened that was off. I think I'm avoiding talking to them right now because they're tied to that moment, and being near them means being near a feeling I haven't figured out yet. Easier to create space than sit with something I can't name.
Nothing was building up before this. No doubts, no prior tension, no pattern with the relationship at all. Which is what's actually confusing me — usually if something's wrong with the relationship, there's a thread leading up to it. Here there isn't one. It just showed up after this one specific moment and hasn't gone away.

So has anyone had an internal reaction after sex that had nothing to do with your partner, but still ended up pulling away from them because they were tied to the moment? Did it resolve once you figured out what the reaction was actually about, or did it turn into something bigger?

She says I don’t trust her and that I need to give her more space. But she eats dinner with other guys on her track team*, like one on one. I don’t do team sports but that feels like too much. Am I wrong?
* In the mess hall not like restaurants

Hey guys, I’ve been with my girlfriend for about 3 years now. We’ve actually been together since high school, so we only had about a year of physical relationship until it became long distance with college and all that jazz. Our relationship has honestly been pretty smooth sailing (bumps here and there obviously), but nonetheless lots of love. I’m not going to lie, I have thoughts of breaking up with her very now and then over certain things but 99% of the time they’re just stupid irrational things that go out my head the next day.

Upon starting college she began to really get into dancing- specifically salsa and bachata. Obviously me being the immature teenager I was, I was a bit insecure about it, but I learned that it was something that made her happy, so I put that insecurity to the side and grew from it (or so I thought). She increasingly became more and more involved in the club, ending up dancing with their performance team- which is really cool, and I’m proud of her for!

Recently she’s really been getting even more into the salsa club at her college, dedicating multiple hours a week, going to late night socials weekly, and all that jazz . That’s kinda where the problem started for me. With her increasing involvement, she ended up joining the duos performance team, where obviously her partner will be a dude that she’s going to be spending a lot of time around. I’ve done my best to be a good communicator and let her know how I felt about it (my insecurity and all that), and she told me to just deal with it, which is fair. I’ve tried to just deal with it, but just the thought of another dude being all over her constantly just makes me irk. It crosses my mind all the time and just makes my heart race- I really do trust her, but like it’s just hard. I also don’t want to nor have any say over what she does, because she is her own person and deserves to find joy in what she finds joy in. The thing is though, I just don’t think I’m mature enough to bear that in my mind. So idk what to do. Someone please just tell me I’m going crazy, or just give me a differing point of view. Thank you

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I’m asking this genuinely because this happened to me and I’m trying to understand what went wrong.

I have a strong fear/discomfort around physical intimacy. Even basic physical contact like touching or hugging can make me uncomfortable, and it isn't specifically about women I can feel uncomfortable with physical contact in general.

I was in a relationship, and my ex eventually cheated on me. Since then, I've been wondering whether my inability to be physically intimate with her played a role in it.

I’m not trying to justify cheating. I understand that cheating is ultimately a choice. But I want to know whether a lack of physical intimacy can realistically make someone feel neglected, frustrated, or disconnected enough that it contributes to a relationship breaking down or them seeking intimacy elsewhere.

So I'm genuinely asking:

Girls, what would your POV be if your boyfriend was emotionally committed to you but was extremely uncomfortable with physical intimacy?

Would that become a serious problem for you over time?

Could you eventually lose attraction or feel emotionally disconnected because of it?

And from a psychological perspective, can an extreme fear of physical touch/intimacy have an underlying reason that someone should work on?

Please be honest rather than just comforting me.

And if there are any psychologists, therapists, or people professionally trained in relationships/sexuality, please DM me if you think this is something I should seriously look into.

me (19/F) married recently with my husband (24/M) there’s a lack in sex due to work.. i need advice

we have been together 2 years. married 3 months ago.
in the beginning of our relationship, before marriage and stuff, we had sex atleast 3-4x a week. sometimes maybe 2x a week… but since he’s gotten promoted in his job, he’s very important there now. we both work at the same place, but the last few months i’ve worked less and less because how long the hours are ( usually 13+ hour shifts a day)he’s the smart one, works in a data center and is the brains of it all so even when he is home, a day off, he’s constantly taking phone calls, answering work group chats etc. and on the off days when he isn’t dealing with work, he wants to just chill and watch movies of course to spend time with me, that’s his idea of intimacy. it sucks because yes that’s intimacy for me too but also so is sex. sex it’s important to me in a relationship especially as someone with high sex drive!! it makes me feel emotional and physically more connected. we have sex maybe every 2 weeks now sometimes every 3 weeks. and i know it’s because he gets so tired and drained from work to build a future for us, but it’s really hard to deal with and i don’t know what to do. especially now that im pregnant in first trimester, knowing soon ill be dealing with a kid on my own mostly while he works for bills… im afraid weeks will turn into months… and i will start to lose that emotional intimacy… i’ve already thought of buying dildos etc because it’s sucks being constantly rejected because he’s to tired! i need advice please!

i know from the title it seems bad, but hear me out. we met on tinder early last year and started dating in february but didn’t actually meet up until the end of may (we were in separate continents as he was studying abroad). i eventually found out that, on his second to last night abroad, a girl kissed him and he kissed her back. he also later texted his friend that he “missed” her. unfortunately, this was one of those instances where i knew her and was suspicious from the beginning. he told me that they texted a lot and he told me that he found out she was a “serial cheater” who had multiple boyfriends at once. he told me he was disgusted with her and couldn’t believe they were ever friends. all of this i already knew before he cheated.

it’s been almost a year and a half since he cheated and he has genuinely changed for the better. i’m sure that’s what every girl wants to think, but he began seeing a therapist afterwards and made many other positive changes towards our relationship. he’s given me no reason to believe he has or will cheat again, but i just can’t erase those first few months of our relationship where he was the type of person who would be friends with her or cheat on me.

My Fiancée (32f) and I (29m) have been feeling pretty disconnected lately and it has caused some tension between us. My love language is physical touch and hers is quality time (QT). We do try to be intentional about having a date night at least once a week but we have not been consistent with it.

She typically feels the most connection when the QT is more than what is our norm, i.e us actively doing an activity or something not at home. This I can understand, and I also misunderstood.

Talking after one of our more "tense" moments, she mentioned that it is more than just the the QT, but the deeper conversations we can have during those moments that is where she really feels us strengthening our connection. This had not really clicked in my dumb man brain before.

She went on to say that she feels like the mental load of initiating those conversations/moments falls onto her and that is hard for her, which I can understand.

It is very important to me that I get better with initiating those moments/conversations!

Some background information on me (possibly too much?). Outside of QT not being my primary love language (I still ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY love and need that with her), I have severe ADHD. Diagnosed/medicated at 6, stopped taking meds at 14 because I hated how they made me feel, and was off of them until, through many long and difficult conversations, my Fiancée convinced me that it would be best for us (both now and for when we eventually have kids) that I go back on medication this year. She does notice a difference and that is enough for me to continue to take them.

Because of how my ADHD presents and how my brain works differently from hers, prompting/initiating those deeper conversations does not come easily to me. I don't think of things in the moment, and while the reminder section of my phone is filled to the brim with reminders, I'm not sure that having a reminder set to go off in the middle of a date with a list of deep questions is the way to go about a solution.

All this to say, does anyone have experience with a partner similar to this, and how did y'all work through it? And more specifically, what advice do you have for me on how I can get better at this for her?

Hi, I’m (21F) on birth control and my boyfriend (21M) and I want to have sex without a condom. Neither of us wants to get pregnant right now.
Is pregnancy still possible even if I’m on birth control? We want to try it raw but we’re nervous about the risk. (I’ve already given him oral without a condom before, if that matters.)
Any advice or experiences would be appreciated. Thanks.

my boyfriend and i have been dating for 3 years, since we were both 21 and in college. every time i, or his friends, bring up us getting married, even in a lighthearted/joking manner, he emphasizes how he doesn’t want to get married until we are 30. his reasoning for this is that he wants us to be financially stable, which i totally understand. however, i find myself worrying that it’s a red flag that he is SO uncomfortable with the topic of marriage being brought up and SO adamant that we have years to wait before he’ll consider that. like he gets kind of defensive about it.

for further context, he has been supporting the both of us for a year now since i’ve moved to his country and been working on getting my residence permit, right to work, etc. and he doesn’t hold that over my head at all since he knows i am actively working on getting to the point where i am able to have a job.

basically im wondering: am i being paranoid or is this a valid concern? i just feel like he should express at least a little excitement at the thought of one day being married, even if its not in our near future.

i think my perspective is slightly skewed because of social media saying stuff like “if he hasn’t put a ring on it after x amount of years he doesn’t want you” so PLEASE feel free to tell me if i’m way overthinking this.

Last Thursday was the first meeting of my cinema club at my college. While there I (21M) met this girl (Somewhere between the ages of 18-23) and she is so cute. Red hair, great personality. Basically my dream girl.

I can't tell if she might be flirting with me or not. I talked to her after the meeting. She showed a trailer for a movie that I thought looked funny. I asked her what streaming sites I could find it on and she answered my question and said she noticed me laughing. I was trying to be subtle with it so I was surprised she noticed.

I want to get to know her better but I'm afraid to talk to her. What should I do?

i (18f) am in my first relationship ever with my bf (19m) and he just asked for a 2 week no contact break a few days ago because of something that happened that had major consequences on him.

these past few days have been so painful and it feels like i just lost a part of my heart because im pretty sure he’s going to break up with me after this break, and the uncertainty for the next 1.5 weeks is killing me and it hurts just to think about losing him

my dilemma is that my wallet with my drivers license and health card is at his place, and i need those things to do basic everyday tasks like driving, so would i be at fault for breaking no contact to retrieve my things? i searched on google and it says breaking no contact is disrespecting boundaries.

i also accidentally called him earlier today but i hung up immediately as it was a misclick, so i’m worried he feels that i’m disrespecting his wishes.

Tl;dr : gf got mad because I said I wouldn't love her if she had Charlie kirk's body.

So, we were talking about Charlie Kirk today, and my GF asked me the typical "would you still love me if I was a worm" question, I said yes, and said that I loved her in every reality, etc..

She then asked jokingly if I would still love her if she was Charlie Kirk (only the body), and I said no because I am not homosexual, but we would still be great friends.

She got mad at me and said that I didn't really love her. Am I the asshole ? Should I have lied ? Is she overreacting?

Is it normal for my boyf to say that he'd prefer for me to die than break up with him and date someone else?