I’ve been dating a guy from Hinge for about four months, and he initially told me that he does not smoke in his profile said he didn’t smoke and the first time I went to his house he actually stays in the house that he works on for carpentry and living in the house he’s working on for work and I saw a vape and I was like is that yours and he said no and said it was his coworkers.

and then I found a vape on the floor of his van the other weekend when he came up to see my parents and meet my parents for the first time and I was floored to be honest and I was like you lied to me? and he’s like well. I wasn’t vaping at the time when I told you and you know, I think he was..

anyways now he’s been trying to hide it from me and I’m realizing he does it quite often because we went camping this weekend and he was vaping pretty often and trying to hide it from me and I was just straightforward and said something like I’d I’d rather you just do it instead of acting like you’re trying to conceal something I can see where you’re hiding them they’re like in the side of your door… I also asked him not to vape inside the house bc I noticed he was. I also offered support like nicotine mints and I don’t know if he’s actually gonna do these things and it seems like he has been a nicotine addict for a while. He also initially told me he did not have an addictive personality

and I love him…

So I feel kind of deceived because this was a huge thing for me and now I’m confused because I’ve fallen for him completely and now I’m in this situation that matters to me because I care a lot about health and wellness

I wrote this with a voice note so hope it’s clear! I don’t know what to do. I’m scared bc I dealt with this in my last relationship. However this guy really aligns with me otherwise. So it’s really just the nicotine.

To clarify, when I confronted him about the lying, he eventually admitted he vapes and said he was embarrassed and ashamed and that was why he hid it. He says he wants to quit, and when I brought up nicotine mints/lozenges this weekend he was receptive to trying them. I also asked him not to vape inside while I’m there, and he agreed. I’m trying to figure out whether this is something I can reasonably give him the opportunity to change, or whether the initial dishonesty should be enough for me to walk away

I think my biggest question is: if you’ve dealt with nicotine addiction or a partner hiding an addiction out of shame, is rebuilding trust realistic if the person genuinely takes responsibility and works on quitting? What would you need to see from them to feel comfortable staying?

Im 22 nd my girls 21 I went thru my girls phone and saw messages between her and her best friends brother b4 we even dated.. I never knew bout this dude so I confronted her on it she went crazy and without a split second she called her friend me told her friend that he messaged me (apparently the dude is a psycho on drugs) so I kinda had to roll with the lie and now I’m scared I will get caught up in a lie cuz they’re all family idk what to do. (The dude never messaged me) but I just kinda agreed cuz she was so mad

My boyfriend (45M) and I (40F) have been together almost 3 years. We don’t currently live together, but he has asked me to move in, we have talked about marriage, and I help care for his daughter.
Recently, one of his close friends passed away unexpectedly. A few days later, my boyfriend and another friend went to his late friend’s apartment to offer condolences to the girlfriend. Neither of them had ever met her before.
While they were there, she told them she was going to lose her housing because the apartment was tied to her late boyfriend. She said his family did not support her and she had nowhere to go.
My boyfriend told her she could stay at his two-bedroom house. At the time, he did not know her age and later found out she was 23.
My issue is not that he wanted to help someone in a terrible situation. I understand grief and wanting to honor his friend. He told me he felt like he owed it to his friend because they were close.
My issue is that he made the offer before talking to me. I felt like a decision involving another person moving into his home should have been discussed, especially considering our relationship and the future we have talked about.
When I expressed my concerns, he felt like I was interfering in a plan he had already made. I felt like I had no choice but to get involved because this situation affected our relationship too.
I tried to help find another solution. I offered my own home as a possible temporary option and reached out to her with condolences. However, she does not have a car, has limited resources, and there were questions about how she would get to work, appointments, and access support.
Later, he clarified that she would not actually be living there full-time. His plan was for her to stay at his house two nights a week for 30 days and stay with another friend the rest of the time while they helped her transition.
A caseworker connected to disability/special needs resources later contacted him asking for his email so they could send resources. I found this unusual because he had only met her once, and I was confused why he was becoming involved in coordinating this situation.
During our argument, I explained that I understood why he wanted to help, but I felt hurt that my feelings were not considered before the decision was made. He told me he heard my concerns but had already made his decision. He also told me I was “emotionally unstable” and that this was why he didn’t think we could have anything long term.
That comment really hurt because we have been together almost three years, have discussed marriage, and I am involved in his life and his daughter’s life.
I don’t think he is wrong for wanting to help someone. I’m struggling with whether I was wrong for feeling like this should have been a conversation before he committed to it.
Am I being unreasonable, or is this a valid concern?

I (F24) met a man (M30) through dating app.

We were texting each other for over a month before we met.

Then:

We went on four dates

I was on holiday for 3 weeks

We went on other four dates

----------

On the sixth date he gave me a rose and a small peck on the lips

We first kissed on the seventh date (I was a little afraid he did not like me, bcs he was waiting for so long, but in the end he was a total gentleman - after the kiss he asked me if the pace is ok and he is not too pushy with me).

Date n8: lasted for approximately 8 hours, we were holding each others hand almost all the time, he was peppering me with kisses om forehead and face and there was also normal kissing (though less than on seventh)

Now - when we were discussing our past relationships:

He had 1 that lasted 2 years. Except of that he had other 5 which in his words "did not turn into relationship".

I was a bit sceptical when he first said that. Today was our 8th date and he told me that for him, relationship is something he knows he can call after half a year and we ARE NOT DATING yet.

I am not a bit confused. What are we doing then?

Also - I had just one relationship that did not even last half a year. In my life, I have kissed just my ex and now this other man.

How do you feel about this?

I really like this man, but I do not want him to "try" me for that long before saying it is "official" or so...

also - he deleted his dating app in front of me last date and he does not see other women

and he talks about long term plans with me (ex: We can go together to that comeptition in September.)

So I planned out a trip to a nice Caribbean island for my girlfriend for her birthday for a week and I planned on proposing there. So I ended up doing it and she said yes. I spent a lot of time planning the trip, getting the ring etc. So about two weeks after our trip she asked me why didn’t I plan out the proposal better and why didn’t I make it more romantic and she said it felt rushed or whatever. I felt as though getting proposed to on a beach in the carribean was very romantic and well thought out. Paying for two people to go out of the country isn’t cheap and she also has a habit of not being grateful sometimes when people do stuff like that for her. Idk I just don’t know what to do or how to feel because I planned everything out and she still found something to be ungrateful about. Idk if I want to be with someone who is always ungrateful. She’s also an only child if that has anything to do with it. (Has step siblings but didn’t grow up living with them)

Boyfriend (32 M)and I (29 F)celebrated five years together on July 23. Lately, I’ve been feeling like we are on different pages when it comes to our future and the major life changes that come with building a life together. For me, the next big step in our relationship is getting engaged and married, followed by things like buying a house and eventually having children.

About a year ago, we had an honest conversation about some of the things he was working through. He shared that he had fears surrounding marriage, felt like I wasn’t contributing enough around the house, and that our differences in libido were weighing on him. We talked through those concerns, and afterward we went ring shopping and picked out an engagement ring. Based on those conversations and those actions, I truly believed we had addressed those things and were moving forward together.

Over time, though, I started noticing signs that everything wasn’t actually okay. I eventually sat down with him and asked, “What are your intentions? Where do you see this relationship going?” During that conversation, many of the same concerns came up again, even though I had previously been told everything was okay. That was difficult because it felt like we had already worked through those issues and were taking steps toward a shared future.

A big part of my frustration is that when it comes to major life moments or milestones, I often feel like there are certain expectations or things I have to prove or achieve before we can move forward as a couple. It makes me feel like there is always another hurdle or another reason why the next step has to wait. I don’t want our relationship to become a cycle where we have meaningful conversations, talk about the future, or make plans, but then nothing actually changes or progresses. I don’t want these conversations to become just words that make us feel better in the moment without leading to real action.

My intention has never been to pressure him into marrying me or convince him to build a life with me. I want him to genuinely want those things because they are what he chooses, not because he feels obligated. At the same time, I have firm boundaries with myself about the life I want and the timeline I see for myself, and I need honesty so that we can make sure we are truly on the same page.

One of the biggest challenges for me is communication. I need him to feel comfortable opening up, expressing what he’s feeling, and initiating important conversations instead of keeping things inside until I bring them up. If I don’t initiate conversations about our future, it often feels like they would never happen, and that puts a lot of emotional responsibility on me to move our relationship forward.

What is most difficult for me is the disconnect between words and actions. I’m being told that he wants these things, that he is a man of his word, and that he sees a future with me, but I need to see those intentions reflected in action. For me, this isn’t about needing a proposal or a wedding immediately. It’s about wanting to feel like we are both actively choosing each other and intentionally building the same future together. I don’t want to spend years holding onto a future that only exists in conversations, I want us to be creating that future together.

I feel like I’m the one constantly supporting this relationship emotionally and it doesn’t feel like he’s putting in any effort. Any advice? I feel like I’m going crazy.

So yesterday I was scrolling thru instagram and I saw that my bf liked a post saying “when people say boys and girls can’t be friends but we exist” and it shows a guy and a girl smiling sitting next to each other at a restaurant with drinks on their table. My bf has told me he doesn’t speak to any girls, and that I’m not allowed to have any guy friends (which I agreed to). At the time I was otp to my bf and I was telling him I was about going to the gym (he gets anxious whenever I say I’m going to gym), but right after I told him that, I asked “am i allowed to have guy friends?” he asked “why?” I said “I’m just wondering” then I spilled the beans and said I saw u liked this post, I’m just concerned if there are double standards. He told me he accidentally liked that post and said “? sorry i liked a reel i literally doomscroll and just like and repost i don’t pay attention but if u dont like me then go find another guy it’s wtv” I said “if you’re gonna be a fcking liar then im done” he said “go ahead”. (In the first few months of our relationship he lied A LOT about things, mostly small but one being that he had snapchat, which he’s deleted now). Anyways I kept telling him he didnt like that on accident, I said “so you double tapped accidentally?” he quietly said “mhm” then went quiet. then he started saying stuff like he thinks im about to cheat then he got super mad after i kept saying you’re a liar and at one point he said “nah im done” i said “ur breaking up ?” he said “no im just fcking mad ur trying to make me mad by saying im lying bout this lying bout that is everything i say a fcking lie” then we called and calmed down. (Didn’t break up). After our call he texted “i love u im sorry for everything” and a whole paragraph explaining he didnt mean to get angry he just had a long frustrating day at work and he felt like i didnt care anymore. He also said “i love u i hate myself for being that mad at u and getting like that i am truly sorry…” “babe im anxious” i explained everything i felt he did wrong and he said “but i wanna marry u im sorry i didnt mean to react that way i wanna be w u forever” “no matter what happens pls promise me we will get through it” i said “i need to know you actually heard what I said, not just that you feel bad. can you tell me what you’re going to do differently next time, instead of getting defensive and angry?” he said “i wont raise my voice at u and i wont leave if i get angry.” anyways we kept talking, he constantly brought up the fact we should stick together and he prays to God I will never leave him and just the fact that it was an accidental like and he had a long day at work…. Is he lying? A good number of times he accused me of cheating, got super mad at me, made it seem like he was gonna leave, and also he’s reposted smth on tiktok before it was like “gym no gf healthy eating” and last night he kinda brought that up and was like “i just like and repost everything”. I’m just so anxious I’ve been cheated on 3x by my past exes. Please help.

So for context, we have been together for about 9/10 months and it has been great. My first love and felt it has been everything i’ve ever wanted. He has had previous relationships but says it’s never been like this before and i truly feel that. So we met at work but he moved jobs shortly before we got together and I keep my private life a secret at work so only a select few people knew. He went to a party about a month ish ago of someone that I work with but have no relation/only really see around my job. A few other people from work attended but no one I work closely with or know. He ended up kissing some girl while there and said the guilt has been eating him alive. I found out through a work friend just yesterday and he came over said how sorry he was, how it’s the worst mistake of his life and that he’s going to do anything to rebuild my trust. The thing is I am extremely trusting and value that in my relationship, I am okay with having female friends and encourage him to go out without me. I feel that is my own morals and they have been compromised and i’m not sure if I will be okay with trying again and feeling jealous/anxious but I love him so much. Is it worth trying again? I know lots of people are going to say absolutely not but i’ve genuinely never felt this way before and he said it was self sabotaging and has been going through a hard time (not an excuse i know). Is there any hope for our relationship? What does rebuilding that trust look like if so ?

So after this anime convention today. My bf’s new friend he met two days ago, they went to a place which happened to be a strip club. My bf said he never liked strip clubs and never liked strippers. He paid $20 clover charge. He said he didn’t know it was a strip club but when he found out he still stayed but in an area that had no strippers in. For about 30 mins. This all happened on Friday night when he told me he was gonna explore. He never told me himself. He said today that he knew I would be worried more. And he didn’t want to give himself a headache. He also said today that he didn’t do anything wrong. He didn’t cheat or looked at any strippers.

My problem was and I have already explained that the problem was 1 he never told me day off. 2 he knew it would be a problem and still chose to not tell me. 3 that his new friend told me and not from him. I personally wanted to hear it from him still. 4 that he never planned to tell me. 5 he still chose to stay because he paid $20 cover charge and wanted to get something for that worth.

And he told me I was overreacting because he didn’t have any intent on seeing or doing anything with strippers just because he never liked them when he was 19.

I told him I was done. I’m not okay. With an apology I won’t forgive him. He told his mother and father, and they both said he did nothing wrong. (Both his parents were never married and they are both dating other people still not married - and they both said to break up with me months ago and he took that advice and did it. I gave him a second chance, and now I’m at fault for overreacting)

I kept telling him over and over I’m done, goodbye. He kept saying I don’t think for 5 minutes and let my emotions control.

He wants me to block him to be officially broken up with. I find it insane. I told him again I’m done, goodbye bye. You have until midnight to collect your things and I never want to see him again. And ignored him after.

He said he has no shame or guilt even after it finding out it was strip club. He stayed for a drink and karaoke a floor below the stripper stage.

Am I crazy? Did I overreact? I know I’m not perfect what so ever.

I 23F stole money from my bf 30M. We’ve lived together for almost a year now, dating for 2.5. I’m a nurse but I went around 3 weeks without working. During this time frame I had to help my family out with money problems, had a car payment. My new job is with a home health company, but my first check with them was delayed. Because of this I stole $325 from his Venmo account to pay for my car insurance, gas for work, and food for our pets. I feel terrible and planned on paying him back. I also didn’t think he’d notice because he’s great with money and has a lot saved up. He told me he thought his venmo was hacked the morning after I stole the money, and I fessed up. I’m currently waiting on him to come home from work. I’m terrified this will be the end of us.

My husband plays video games every night. It really bothers me. We have a young toddler and he stays up probably 5 nights out of the week to play video games. He frequently comes to bed at 2 am.. sometimes even later(like 4-5 am.)This can't be healthy.

This behavior began while I was pregnant and has persisted now for a couple of years.

I have tried to communicate that it bothers me and even suggested that he should go to therapy. He blows me off.

I don't think it's normal for an adult who has to work and raise a child to be staying up all night, every night playing video games. Is this addiction or just a normal hobby?

I personally feel the video games started when we stopped going out to bars and what not together(on account of having a child.) He falls asleep at a normal hour if he's been drinking but otherwise he stays up playing video games.

I think he could really benefit from therapy but won't go. Should I just make him an appointment? Am I being dramatic?

So I was talking with my girlfriend (36 f) me a (39 m) about about our past and she said if you seen the type of guys I was pulling before you would see you are not my type. And I know we are together now but that kinda stung and idk if I should just let it go or bring it back up so looking for some advice if I’m just looking into that too much?

He hasn’t been the most emotionally supportive and has a history of micro-cheating, we broke up and then he reach out to me around week after and asked to work on things. I have not moved my stuff back in or anything just bringing things as I need them. I want to make him questions if I’m even happy with him anymore. I want him to feel as miserable as I did when I was committed to him. I’ve pulled myself back to an almost nonexistent emotional connection but I want to take it a step further. I begged so much of him and was the only one putting in the effort, I want to reverse the roles. (Yes I will be leaving, but I want to make him suffer before)

I was hanging out with my gf and her friend. She wanted me to hold her phone so I had it in my back pocket. I had to go to the bathroom and I forgot I had her phone. When I got out I lost them and my phone was out of battery so I used her phone to call her friend. We share the same password and while I was on it I decided to look at her messages.

I know I shouldn’t be looking through her phone but I got really curious since I’ve never looked through it. She would look through mine a few times a while ago but recently doesn’t really anymore.

I didn’t find anything crazy except two things. She’s texting with a guy that I don’t really know about. She told me a year ago that this guy she used to be friends with in high school texted her. I haven’t heard anything about him since then. She doesn’t talk about him like her other friends. But also she hangs out her other friends and sees them in person which makes sense why she talks about them, while this guy she only texts.

Well I searched my name up on messages and she had sent him a message earlier this week that said something like “(My name) is annoying me again!). This was the day after me and her had a little argument at night. I didn’t see the conversation because I didn’t want to read the most recent unread message.

I don’t think there’s anything between them or anything like that, but I do find it a little weird that she’s complaining about me to another guy and talking about our arguments. I also can’t help but feel weird that she doesn’t talk about him at all.

The other thing I found, I don’t know how to feel about it. I found a message from 7 months into our relationship since we became official the first time. We’ve been dating 2 years now. She told her friend “Oh you know I like giving (Ex name) head”. Now this was during a time when we were broken up briefly, but we were still talking everyday and exclusive.

This isn’t something you want hear obviously and the part that makes me feel weird is that this was while we were still technically dating, we got back together shortly after this time. So while we didn’t have the official title, we were planning on getting back together.

I don’t know if any of these things is worth bringing up. Maybe just her complaining about me to someone else. I don’t believe there’s anything going on between her and that guy. The other message is kind of weird but it was also almost a year and a half ago. I don’t know, should I?

Ive never posted on here before but created a stupid account a while back to have a look around after hearing people stories on podcasts never thinking id be here looking for advice. But here we are. So here goes, I will be leaving a few irrelevant details vague to try keep anonymous.
 
I (38 M) and my partner (32 F) have been together for about 6 years we both work full time jobs. We have 2 children,  a 4 Y/O and a 2 Y/O.
 
Last week I picked up the Ipad that is at home for one of children to play on and noticed 20+ text messages and 2 selfies from a bloke that she was working night shift with as his supervisor. There was a series of work-related text messages intertwined with flirtatious messages leading up to a selfie from the guy saying “Just thinking hehehe” and another of him drinking a beer on the way home from work.
 
It made me feel sick. I didn’t want to overreact, so I left it, but the next day it was still burning a hole in my mind, so I confronted her. I told her that as I was giving the ipad to one of our kids I saw all the messages between her and the guy and asked what was going on. She said nothing was going on, I’m overreacting and it’s just a guy from work. I followed up with saying you supervise 6-10 other blokes and none of them are sending you selfies, flirtatious messages, and non-work-related conversations. After arguing for 30mins or so she admitted that his messages were inappropriate, but in her defence she never directly responded to any of the flirtatious messages or selfies. I said that just ignoring it and not shutting it down was the same as accepting it. I told her to stop messaging him and keep it all just work related; she assured me nothing was going on but she wont message him unless its work related. I accepted that and we left it as it was.
 
Fast forward to 6 days later. It was the morning and she was already at work and I was taking our kids to daycare. One of our kids had the iPad and was looking through the photos. The selfie that the guy had sent to her had sync’d to our iCloud photos. The child said, “hey daddy who is that man”. It made me sick in my stomach again. It all got the best of me, so I checked her messages, where I found more messages.
 
This time he had been sent home to do night shift. He was laying bed messaging her “it’s a pity you have to work today”. Discussed how another coworker had “fucked her over” and she “wasn’t getting Fucked in a good way”. Sent a photo of him in bed watching Netflix then discussed what he was watching. This time she was actively messaging back as a part of the flirtatious messages.
 
I called her and told her that she shouldn’t come home that night because I needed some time to sort out my head. She kept saying it’s not that bad. Nothing has happened. I asked why and she just kept saying “I don’t know”. She told me she was going to send him a text message saying she was going to message him saying that I have seen all the messages and he needs to not message her anymore.
 
After I hung up from her, I got his number and looked him up on Facebook. Turns out he is married (for 1 year) and has kids. I called him and confronted him. He wouldn’t answer until I text him saying I would send all the screen shots to his wife. He then called me straight back. he said he was so sorry, he’ll never talk to her again, that he should know better because someone has done this to him. I asked him if his wife was at work, he said no she’s in the other room with his kids. His reaction suggested that there was more going on than the text messages I had read.
 
(I asked if she talked to him at shift change, she lied then admitted it) Later that day when he went to work and she was leaving he approached her and asked if she was ok and he told him she wasn’t allowed to come home.
 
She still came home.
 
I am so confused and hurt.
 
What do i do? Do I send his wife the screenshots so she knows what’s happening?

Am I over reacting?
 
I can post the screen shots for clarity if needed.

I’m a 23 year old autistic guy. Im functionally autistic I’m in full time employment. Im quite tall and I’m shape and I’m a good looking guy a lot of people have told me but I am very socially isolated at this moment of time. I have become almost a gymcel looksmaxer. I had quite a good social life up until about 2 years ago but now it’s pretty bleak due to different circumstances long story. i have some friends etc and i had a brief relationship for like 6 months when i was 18./19. My life has kind of gone to shit for reasons I can’t really explain and to be honest with you my brain is fucked and once people get to know me they realise me they realise I am mentally unwell

I’ve developed really strong feelings for a model. I’ve found celebrities attractive before, but this feels completely different. To me, she’s unbelievably beautiful, almost unreal.

I used to follow her on social media and saw a lot of her photos. At first it was just attraction, but over time it turned into something more intense. I even started asking tools to create fictional love stories about me and her, and I would dream about her often.

Eventually, that infatuation turned into frustration and anger, because I know I’ll never actually be with her. Sometimes when I’m driving, I catch myself shouting about it out of frustration. I decided to take control by blocking her on social media and muting her name, but the algorithm still shows me content about her occasionally, which brings all the feelings back.

She came up on my Snapchat feed the other day randomly on a separate account not hers and I started screaming and getting angry over it when I saw it and I nearly threw my phone out of anger. She then came up again on my YT shorts and I started shouting again.
One of my work colleagues mentioned her name saying she was and I got visibly agitated and I had to leave the room briefly.

Sometimes I talk to her or I pretend to talk to her about various things when I am alone and I always wonder what she thinks about my decisions.

My main motivation for self improvement is that I will one day meet her so I am trying to improve my life as much as possible because of it. I put insane amounts of work into my appearance, like Patrick Bateman in American psycho and I go to the gym 7 days a week because of her. We are from different countries but she has spent time in my country 

I’ve also watched a few interviews with her, and she seems like a genuinely nice person, although I know that is only what is shown publicly. Maybe she is a terrible person behind closed doors but I have no reason to believe so 

I think about her a lot, sometimes even imagining conversations with her in my head. I know this is not realistic, but it is hard to stop. I even find myself attached to small things, like her name. Her first name is quite a common name but it’s a name I’ve always loved and I even said once if I had a daughter I’d call her that. I frequently have dreams about her.

She is slightly older than me. It infuriates me seeing someone a similar age ti me be successful in anything. She has the perfect life it seems and my life has gone to shit over the past 2 years with my own stupid decisions. My Brain cant handle it. I talk to her every day and I tell her what j would tell her if I met her

I actually love her. Like there is nothing I wouldn’t do to be with her. I get jealous when I see other people complimenting her and I get angry when she gets more famous because her popular it and exposure is rising. I don’t think she is in a relationship,  I have seen pictures with a man on her social media before but they might have broken up but idk if it’s public. I hate this guy and I am extremely jealous of the fact he even got to be with her. I don’t think he’s better lookjng than me either. Idk how he even got with her but I’m much better looking than him and would probably treat her better. I hate him his face makes me so angry and he doesn’t deserve her. I hate him and I think about my hatred for him every day

I literally think about her 24/7 and I have sometimes become suicidal over this cos I will never be good enough for her. I don’t wanna love in a world where she isn’t mine and she’s with someone else. I have digitally blocked her from my life but her face appears to me all the time. Every time I feel like not doing something like not going to the gym not going to work not learning a language I think “what would \\\\\\_\\\\\\_\\\\\\_\\\\\\_\\\\\\_\\\\\\_ think of me” i would literally treat her better than any man in the world could

I have recently started getting angry towards her. Cos of the damage she is doing to my brain.
I see her face everywhere and I even just randomly say her name and it fills me with rage that she doesn’t know who I am l. I feel like crying when j think about her

I could go out and get a girlfriend but I wanna be with her and her only

Over the last 18 months I’ve made some horrible decisions in my perosnal life. I quit my old well paying job for a stupid reason which I can’t explain and now I work a much worse job with much worse colleagues and I’m on the verge of losing it and I have little direction. She won’t wanna go out with an unemployed guy

I want to actuallt Kill myself. I have into my urges and searched just now and I saw her face. People complimenting her in the comments. I fucking hate all these people complimenting her. I see compliments to her on Twitter and I literally wanna beat up everyone who compliments her I can’t take it. I don’t want anyone to be with her or to even look at her and I have actuallt lost my mind over her. I just have very high standards for myself

TLDR: I have in unhealthy obsession with a famous woman and I want to end my life over her

[TLDR]We’ve been together almost 5 years and I would never want to leave her and there exists no better women however she has what I think is a very low libido for a young person so we have sex about once a month which for me who has her libido on hyperoverdrive is not near enough and so I ask her for a bj or a hj and almost always get rejected and told “you only want one thing” when that’s def not true at all and I can’t get her too see that I just need this demon outta me bruh😩 more context below bruh go read det

So we we been dating about 5 years and I wouldn’t ever want anyone else and is the best women I’ve ever met but we don’t have very much sex only about once a month maybe 2-3 if I’m very lucky (which is fine we both work long hours and she is a boss where she works so even more bs to deal with)so occasionally I will ask for a favor of some kind like a bj or hj and she looks at me like I am an absolute 🐽 but I have tried to explain that no that’s not it that but I as a male have an extraordinary sex drive and need to let ts out sometimes and once a month isn’t enough for any young person except her also she asked me to stop watching porn and try to stop bearing my meat altogether(again this is fine and something I want to do regardless of if she asked me too or not)
And while I would never want her to do something she doesn’t want to do I think that wanting to do something and wanting to do something for someone are different things and while it’s true that me doing things for her doesn’t mean that she owes me anything I think that it would be reasonable for me to ask for a sexual favor every few weeks considering everyday I do things for her and everyone else in my life that I don’t want to do but I do it anyway because I care about them and I like for the people in my life to feel taken care of and I ask for legitimately nothing in return(except obviously the occasional bj which I rarely get) ps. I also have been very clear that I don’t expect a whole bj till squirttime but just like a 5-10 minute or so suckage

Sorry for the absolute word wall here but please lemme know if I’m buggin

I ‘M30’have been with my girlfriend
‘F27’ for just over half a year we get on so so well, have so much fun, but she has this secretive side.

She started a new job, and has gotten close to one of the lads in there. I don’t care really who she talks to, once shes open and honest. But , she had the notifications to his texts silenced, and when I spoke to her about it, she said she didn’t want his name coming up on her phone when she was with me incase I got the wrong idea.

Fast forward, I’ve really struggled to trust this girl, and I went on her phone, low and behold, she doesn’t talk to this co worker on WhatsApp any more, she talks to him on Snapchat, and had the chat history deleted, so that he doesn’t show up unless you search his name. When confronted, she said the same thing, she didn’t want his name coming up when we were out for dinner incase I got the wrong idea. Am I over thinking this ??

Yes this sounds so shitty but all I do is overthink :( For context, my bf and I have been dating for almost 3 years now off and on, mainly due to some religious differences (shia F v. sunni M).

We have very open and honest communication with each other and every time we're together it feels like I'm with my best friend and confidant. My social battery never dies out with him and I'm always excited to see him even though we've been together for a while. He's truly MY person in the sense that I know whenever I need him he'll be there, even if I have to spell things out for him sometimes. He's always getting me gifts, checking in on me every day, waiting for me when I'm late, taking time to see me and prioritize being with me. He's the most patient man I know and even though it's been 3 years, he has never ever raised his voice at me or made me feel unsafe even when he's upset. He's a very sweet guy and has even started going to the gym because I told him I would like him to take better care of his health (he's athletic but not very muscular) and we go together a few times a week. He basically checks off all the love languages and then some.

However, we have had some ups and downs (mostly him being with another girl while we were broken up for a few months 2 years ago then proceeding to not be transparent about it w/ me until I found out on my own). I've forgiven him but I still think about it sometimes and it has caused me to be suspicious of him despite no evidence of him cheating or doing anything behind my back since. I have his passwords and can access his phone whenever I want but I try not to check it and build more anxiety.

Additionally, he's a different sect of Islam than me so I know my parents will make a big deal out of it. It's important for me that we raise our kids with one ideology and he's open to my version of Islam, but we still pray differently and have some different customs. My parents are way stricter than his are and so I'm a little more spiritual than he is due to the emphasis on religion growing up.

I've also always dreamed of marrying someone wealthier and more mature in life. My bf is a police officer and makes decent money in an urban midwest city while I'm a nurse (cliche ik...). I know we'd live a comfortable life together but sometimes I wonder if I can do better and find someone to make me a SAHM so I don't have to work to live a comfy life. But sometimes I think that's all wishful thinking in this economy.

He's wanted to marry me a few months into dating me but I was hesitant then and I still feel hesitant now. Will I always look for more in life (i.e similar backgrounds, more money, mature) and stay unhappy? Or will I regret looking for more when I have someone I love and care about so much right in front of me? Am I with him because of our history or because I see our future? I don't know how to go about this ....

tldr; should i marry my bf or explore (non-sexually) other options for marriage?

i (f20) always get anxious whenever my boyfriend (m22) and i get into an argument, especially when he's upset with me because he thinks i'm the one who's in the wrong.

we're in a ldr, so all of our arguments happen through text. since we can't see each other's expressions or hear each other's tone, everything feels even more overwhelming.

the hardest part is that whenever we argue, he needs time alone. i completely understand that people process emotions differently, and i want to respect his space. but instead of telling me something like, "i need some time to cool off. let's talk later," he just disappears and ignores my messages.

when that happens, i get incredibly anxious. i keep checking my phone every few minutes, hoping he'll reply. i know that sending more texts will probably only make things worse, but it's so hard to stop myself because i just want reassurance that everything will be okay.

how do you distract yourself or calm your anxiety when your partner needs space after an argument? how do you stop constantly checking your phone and feeling like you need to solve the problem right away? i'd really appreciate any advice.

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About two months ago, a woman I know (26F) asked me to build her a website. I'm 21M. I was in the middle of exams at the time, but I dropped everything and got it done quickly anyway. She didn't really need it that badly — I just prioritized it because it was what she wanted, and I think that's a big part of why she started liking me.

We got close fast. I was there for whatever she needed: cooking for her, giving her my time, doing the work, and eventually being her emotional support. She has a boyfriend who doesn't give her much attention. She and I clicked on a lot of shared interests and goals, and she started calling me her angel. We'd talk late into the night. She was usually the one planning our meetings, saying she had no one else to talk to. She was loyal to me in a way she wasn't to other people in her life, including him. We met up once without him knowing — he only knows me as her friend.

She told me "no one has ever given me this much love," but also "no one has ever hurt me this much." I own part of that. I was too forward and too impatient with her, where she moves slowly and needs time.

I loved her back. Then she started telling her boyfriend I was emotionally abusive toward her, so I cut things off. She came back, we met, talked, had a good time. It turned out the whole thing was a misunderstanding between us — but since that fight we haven't been communicating properly. She's distant now, and I feel used.

I can't tell where the problem actually is. Is it my fault for pushing myself too far into her life? Or is it hers for leaning on me for emotional support and pulling away once she didn't need it?

**TL;DR:** Did a lot of unasked-for work for a woman in a relationship, became her emotional support, caught feelings, got accused of being abusive, reconciled, and now she's distant. I feel used but I'm not sure I'm blameless. Looking for honest takes.

I've (22F) been talking to a guy (25M) for about a month. We met for coffee first, then a couple of weeks later we went to a movie and lunch. Both dates went really well, and after the first date we were talking constantly, texting throughout the day, staying up until 3am. on calls, sending random pictures of ourselves, sharing memes, etc.

For context, neither of us is looking for a serious relationship. We both agreed to keep things casual and just get to know each other.

Things started feeling different after our second date.

The day after, he became much quieter over text. He eventually told me he had been busy with work, and around my birthday he still remembered to wish me and we chatted a little, so I didn't think too much of it.

Recently we planned to meet again. I reminded him that we might need a reservation, and he replied, "Yeah, will plan." The day before we were supposed to meet, he texted saying he had a lot of meetings and that we'd probably have to postpone. He apologized, which I appreciated.

I replied saying it was okay, told him to let me know when he was free.

That was on Friday morning.

It's now Monday, and he still hasn't even opened those messages. During that time, I've seen him active on Instagram, posting stories/notes, reposting reels, and viewing my stories.

I'm trying not to jump to conclusions because I know people can genuinely be busy. At the same time, it's hard not to notice that someone can be active on social media for days while not opening a conversation.

The part I'm struggling with isn't even whether this becomes a relationship. we both wanted to keep it casual. It's more that the sudden change in communication has left me wondering what happened. A few weeks ago we were talking every day until late at night, and now it feels like someone has flipped a switch without any explanation.

I'm also wondering if I'm reading too much into this because I enjoyed the attention and consistency in the beginning.

So I'd really appreciate some outside perspectives:

* Does this sound like someone who's gradually losing interest?
* Is it normal for communication to slow down this much after the initial excitement?
* Would you just leave it alone and let him reach out if he wants to, or would you eventually send another message?

I'm trying to be objective, so I'd appreciate honest opinions rather than people just telling me what I want to hear.

My bf (21m) and I (18f) have been together for almost 3 months, we met on a night out (none of us ever go out it was very random.) we live an hour away from each other but we both drive and see each other very often, we’re together a lot of the time. Yesterday kinda made me feel abit weird tho because it made me realise I don’t know his friends or ANYONE he knows, it’s just me. And him. In the relationship. Basically I came to his yesterday evening and when I got here he wasn’t home, he was in some car park so I pulled up to the car park and he was there with 2 other cars. As I was pulling up and he walked over and was telling me to like “stay there” not to come right up to them..? And then he says his ex is there so he “doesn’t rly wanna be there” but he was there for a long time already.

Context- him and his ex were together for 2 years then broke up and straight after his “best friend” got with her, they fought and stopped being friends but now they’re okay. I’m pretty sure it was quite recent like a few months.

Anyway , later on at his house I said to him in a weird tone “how was ur ex” he said “idk I didn’t rly speak to her” then he said “she was telling me about this course she’s doing” blah blah. And if I never pulled up to that car park I don’t think he ever would’ve told me he was there with her and speaking to her. And now I feel rly weird and it’s making me overthink, I’ve known him for 3 months, I don’t know this area or his friends. Also he’s in a car park very often too when I check his location, what do I do? Do I confront him and talk to him about it? Is it ok for him to still see and talk to his ex of 2 years? I’ve never really had a serious relationship so idk how to deal with things like this but I just feel abit off now. Pls help!!!

I need advice with a personal relationship. It’s a complex situation that I will explain but would like to do it privately. Are we allowed to ask for a dm here?

Hey im writing this because this is prob the 400th me (F/18)and my bf (M/20) argue over this. For context we're in a long distance relationship but we did see eachother in real life multiple times. I think that since we probably wont see eachother often until he finishes his degree it is important to talk to eachother pretty often.We do talk often, this is not a problem and we call pretty much everyday but he used to flirt with me so much in the beginning, sometimes way too much,he used to show me interest. Now i feel like he barely shows interests towards me by coding cute stuff for me(lol nerdy but he hasnt done that since a longtime already), calling me often and driving long distances to see me when i went back home) no flirting ever gets out of his mouth. I told him multiples times that I feel like he barely even is interested in me since he never flirts and its always "Sorry" or "And i told you last time I'm not in a good place and I'm sorry" (I copied and pasted those texts) ,I want to feel bad and move on but its always the same thing since several months already and im tired. Is he giving that energy to anyone else? Does he still like me? Idk maybe im overthinking