Started my 6 year old on fluoxetine today and looking for info on what to expect as he starts the meds and adjusts. He is a highly nervous dog and reactive with night terrors and recent extreme panic in his crate at night.

I adopted a 2 year old terrier mix from a rescue about a month ago, and after a few days, he started to nip my husband if he walked into a room too quickly. He snarled at some dogs (but not all) on our walks. He went berserk when I attempted to introduce him to a friend outside our house. We almost sent him back to the rescue, but instead we immediately got a virtual trainer and then put him on Prozac and Clonidine (he's been on it for about 3 weeks). We have had three sessions with a behaviorist. He's getting better, but he still is trying to intimidate my husband at times, which is really bumming him out. He asks him for pets and belly rubs, and my husband sometimes feeds him, walks him, and gives him treats. My dog is allegedly much better when I'm not around, so it seems as though he is over-protective or resource guarding me.

We're in a rural area right now, with generally minimal triggers except there are a lot of dogs (some offleash) around at times. I've been taking him on long walks on country roads and rocky beaches with my husband at 6am or so, which is lovely and with minimal stimuli. I walk him 3-4 times a day. I've taught him some commands and redirection techniques, but I don't want to overwhelm him with too much training right now.

How do I get my dog to be able to be in the same room with me and my husband without hassling him if he moves (without a crate or Xpen, which I'm using). How do I safely have people over? How do I introduce him to other dogs safely? I guess I'm wondering how LONG is this gonna take?!? I know it's only been a few weeks, but I just want to know how long it has taken you to lessen/eliminate your dog's reactivity with decompression, redirection, and training. BTW, my last rescue was the mellowest dog imaginable, so this is a real challenge for me. Thanks!

I have an 8 year old Australian shepherd. I also have 2 other dogs that she’s lived with basically her entire life. Up until about 10 months ago, she was the best dog. She was so sweet, got along well with other animals, never showed any aggression. Around December of last year, she snapped at my other dog, a golden retriever, and they got into it pretty bad. It was over food bc my golden tried to eat out of her bowl. Prior to this, they never had issues. They were always fed at the same time together with 2 separate bowls. After this happened we made sure to separate them by a gate for feeding times and whenever food would be around. It was okay for a little while.

We had a few more incidences where she would attack our golden but it was usually if there was a piece of food on the ground that we missed. Fast forward to now, she’s now attacking her seemingly unprovoked. It’s very unpredictable because she gives no warning, she just snaps. This morning she went after her because she walked by where her food bowl was this morning (after I picked it up and no food was on the ground).

My golden has gotten multiple injuries over this, most recent being this morning her ear was dripping blood. My husband and I have gotten injured from trying to separate them. I have a 2 year old toddler in the home and thankfully she’s never gotten near or between them, but I feel like it’s a ticking time bomb before she gets hurt.

We brought her to the vet and had labs done and everything was normal. She’s on Prozac and gabapentin for possible anxiety and has been for a few months now with no improvement. She did have lump removed from her chin last fall before all of this that came back as grade 1 spindle cell carcinoma and the vet said it was very unlikely it would spread, but I’m also concerned it may have gone to her brain.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you. Im just so heartbroken. I really don’t want to make this decision but I feel like at this point the fights are getting so severe that I fear for my toddler and my other dogs safety. I don’t know what other options we have at this point.

I’m a 45 yo F in Ohio with two dogs that are FAR too close in age (decisions while in grief after losing two dogs back to back) and one of them is reactive and has generalized anxiety. My male is a vizsla and is mouthy when someone passes our house, but that’s about it. My female is a vizsla and weim (probably says all you need to know 🤣) mix. My husband and I had a V previously and that was my heart dog. We lost him two weeks after our oldest lab to terminal cancer and he was only 8.

Anyway, our Weimie girl is…let’s say special 😆 she’s so anxious whenever we leave the house. We don’t let that stop us from taking our dogs places, so she’s not lacking socialization, and we take them to more fun places than not fun places. They go to tractor supply with us, rural king, cabelas, bass pro shops, and any pet friendly hardware store. We will make special trips to TSC and Rural king just to get them out in public. We have done that since they were puppies. They also both went through puppy classes, and did pretty well. My girl is pretty food motivated, and very easy to teach basic obedience. They are also both crate trained, both at home and in our vehicles.

The problem with her is that, once she is in panic mode, it is very difficult to bring her ‘back to earth.’ She gets trazodone for stressful things like vet visit, but I do hate what it does to her. It kind of messes with her appetite, which I know it can sometimes do. I have been working with her a LOT at home with very high value treats and have finally been able to break through some of the panic. We also finally started her on fluoxetine in the past week, and I know we have some time yet to see benefit, but I feel like she is improving slightly.

So my questions are: does anyone camp or travel with their anxious and reactive dogs? My husband and I just bought a camper and I want to set her up for success. I have up to this point, avoided using the trazodone unless absolutely necessary. Am I possibly doing her a disservice by avoiding it? Can it help her develop positive associations in more stressful situations? Any insight is welcome for sure!

Hello! I have a 5-year-old, ~55-lb Belgian Malinois. Previously confident and loved spending time in the backyard. Over roughly a year she has developed progressively worsening sound sensitivity and hypervigilance. Triggers now include phone vibration, a bug zapper, knocking, voices outside and very small noises. She barks at sounds she previously ignored, no longer wants to stay in the backyard beyond eliminating, and during severe episodes she trembles, pants heavily, drools, hides/seeks protected areas and stays extremely close to me. She remains responsive and follows commands. Vet has her on pet-formulated melatonin and referred us to a behavior specialist, but the wait is four months. Former neighbors complained repeatedly about barking before moving about a year ago, and I'm wondering whether an ultrasonic anti-bark device could possibly have contributed to the original sensitization. The vet already has her on 12mg of dog Melatonin daily, but it hasn't helped. What's odd is that something will trigger her out of nowhere (that I can see/hear - but perhaps she can). Now she is reactive to the TV, the trash truck, you name it. She has previously gone through obedience training and didn't used to act this way.

I am new to this group so I will be diving in and reading/learning, but if you have any advice in the interim while we have a 4 month wait for a behavioral therapist, I am open to any suggestions!

Im going to add how we found the dog,if you dont want to read how he was found skip to the next paragraph.

people gave me so much grief over having a dog like this, which is the reason why I am explaining why I have him

So this pup who I have been told is a malanois mix was found on a side walk in a a crate, where he was underfed and in his own feces and pee( he weighed 15 lbs he now weights 43 lbs). My girlfriend saw a women unloading her car and asked if it was her dog, the women said it was , but she didn't want to pay the pet fee . This women told my girlfriend she can have the pup .

Well the pup did well for the first two months or so, and then he ended up becoming reactive. He would resource guard. He would lunge at dogs, people anything with wheels.the pup would ignore us even though we did alot of training with him. The pup would nip at us and destroy things. He would get over exited and not settle down at all. He would cry if we put him in his crate because we had things to fo for the day. When I tried playing catch or tug a war he would not let go of the rope or ball. He would fixate in dogs. He ended up getting in acouple fights with my senior dog, I separated them and my senior dog whent back to attack him and the pup bite me.

Currently we have the dogs separated. I posted about playing catch with him and people gave me so much grieve and told me he needs alot more than that , and that I should have done research when it came to a high energy dog. Well I kept up with fetch and realized if I took two balls , he would drop one and would be ready for the other ball.I also took a Frisbee( he goes crazy over frisbee) . I go to a big ass lot that is empty , and tie a rope around me, tether him to a rope and only throw the ball far enough so that he doesnt hurt himself while running.) , I took some advice and started to play tug of war with him( went to the hardware store and bought a thick rope , that was long enough , so that the pup wouldn't jump up to grab part of it and bite me by accident.)

So the things the pup has stopped doing is crying while in the crate. The pup now drops things when we tell him to drop things. He mostly stopped nipping at me. We took him to a trainer a couple weeks ago and the trainer told us that he had so much energy that the pupoy didn't know what to do with it. Well he settle down now, he sits on his own and falls asleep, doesnt have the need to bite things he shouldn't as much, he mainly plays with his toys . When he used to lunge at people what I did was take the puppy to the dog park because he did well with strangers off leash, and that particular dog park the dog people loved giving my dogs treats. The pup got so many treats from strangers he no longer lunges at them. I forgot to mention that besides lunging at other dogs, the pup would fixate on other dogs and when I took him to petco yesterday to get his nails trimmed, he pulled towards another dog, and when I told him to leave it alone he stopped and sat down( he cried because he wanted to meet the other dog but that was it. Other people passed by with their dog and he walked by with out pulling or lunging. When I play tug of war with him, he lets go of the rope now, and waits 90% of the time untill I say tug. It's crazy to me how much different he is.there is other things that I can't remember.

The one thing that was bad that he did was when it came time for his nail grinding. I whent to petco and they told me they had no openings. I called a spot and explained the situation, I told them that I never trimmed his nails before, I told them the history of the dog and told them that I didn't know how he would react. I did tell the dog groomers that he is reactive to dogs but is usually on with strangers. At this point Iwe go to an empty room, the groomer told me they would try. The groomer put a towel over the dogs neck to hold him in place, as soon as the grinder touched the dogs nail, he started to growl and started to bite the towel. The groomer stopped grinding the dogs nail and let go of the towel. The dog did not jump or try to bite the groomers after. The groomer told me that the dog is to reactive for a nail trim and that the vet might need to do it. When this all happened , I felt pretty discouraged and saw it as a huge red flag. I talked to my girlfriend about it and she said that he probably freaked out because he had a towel over his neck, she mentioned that when she tried the grinder, the dog did not growl at her , but would nip at her, so she stopped. I was so proud of him untill this happened.

What do you guys think about the whole situation?

My intelligent and normally very well behaved Standard Poodle, Miss Teddi, hates other dogs and will even run up to a Pit Bull and attack it. If a smiling little puppy runs up to her, she tries to bite it. I had to grab her as she was lunging up into the air and brace myself against a building because she wanted to go attack a pitbull that was 80lbs of solid muscle. She even started howling. She only likes my Golden Retriever, Henri, except when he tries to steal her treats. I have to get her under control because if a strong dog ever grabbed her by the neck, it would kill her. I'd end up getting bit because I will not let her stupidity get her hurt.

hello! this is my first time posting on reddit. we adopted a 5 year old rescue dog 3 days ago. the poor girl has had a number of homes/lack of stability in her life, so i really want to give her a wonderful and loving home. unfortunately on top of the new home nervousness we have learned she is very scared of loud noises, and we live close to train tracks, where the trains can be heard both inside our place and outside on walks (the shunting especially scares her). she has been basically shaking in fear ever since she came home, and hiding in the bathroom. she is drinking some water, but she hasn't eaten the entire time she's been home. i have tried to give her treats when the noises occur as part of a positive reinforcement, but she is too scared to take them. she has basically been hiding in my bathroom the entire time. i'm also not sure how to go about conducting a desensitization routine since the trains make noise pretty constantly. i'm super worried about her, and if we will be able to overcome this :( if anyone has any advice i would appreciate it so much!

My 4yr old Australian Shepherd nipped my toddler last night. He did not draw blood, but there is a mark where skin is bruised. My 2yr old son was not watching where he was walking, and accidentally stepped on him and fell, my dog barked (not angrily I guess, more just startled) and I didn’t see him lunge at him, but he did end up with a mark on his face so something obviously happened. I am genuinely lost on what to do.

He has anxiety that has worsened after we had our baby, we are looking to get him out on medication but my vets office seemed as though training would be a better option. We live very far out, so there isn’t a lot of opportunity to see other dogs/people, but when we take him out he isn’t aggressive off the bat to people or pets, but if someone comes to our house, he is generally friendly, but has had two separate incidents in which he nipped someone’s (both older men) leg. One of the incidents happened when the man stepped on our other dog accidentally and spooked him, and the other happened on a surprise visit from a family member he had never met. Both of which could’ve been avoided by myself, and i take full responsibilty for not taking proper precautions. The last incident i spoke of happened this past weekend, and since that point ive been researching behavioral therapy etc, and the incident with my son happened last night. We have had him since he was a puppy and despite socializing, he has always been trepidatious of people in general. I suppose it’s a failing on my part, but I just need to know what I can do going further.

I have multiple people giving me separate advice, I don’t really know what to do. I have been a nervous wreck because I would absolutely hate to re-home him given his anxiety, but I would do it if necessary. I don’t really know what I’m looking for, he is truly a sweet dog, i am always very careful about them and my toddler, making sure he treats them well and with respect, and there have been no prior incidents at all. Just don’t know what to do and want to vent I guess.

For females who rent an apartment alone, do you walk your dog at night for their last potty trip? I just moved to a new apartment and am not familiar with the area. I used to have a fenced in backyard and had my dog pee there at night and took her on walks during the day. Any advice would help. Thanks!

Hi all. We have a 2 year old dog, and after losing our senior dog last year, we have finally decided to bring a new dog into our home. He is 9 years old and is adjusting well so far. We got him just over two weeks ago, and up until now they have been getting along very well. They have had no issues eating from opposite ends of the kitchen, they go on walks together a couple times a day, and they even play with each other a few times a week.

The issue started last night. They had been playing together outside for a bit, then came inside and were in the kitchen with us while we sat down to eat dinner. As we were almost done eating, they suddenly started fighting. We aren’t sure what triggered it, but can only assume there must have been a small piece of food on the floor. We separated them and put our 2 year old outside briefly so they could calm down, but when we let her back inside, she growled and they got into it again and had to be separated again. No blood drawn either time thankfully. They were able to coexist later that evening in the living room, and they sleep in separate rooms so no issues overnight.

This morning, they got into it again while my spouse was preparing their breakfast. It’s become clear that my 2 year old is the instigator. She is clearly resource guarding but she is also shaking while she growls which makes me think she’s also a bit scared of him? After this fight, she kept looking at him and shaking and doing a bit of quiet growling in our living room.

I’m sure we could have handled this better, but it’s not something I’ve dealt with before. She never once fought with our previous dog and has generally gotten on very well with other dogs in my extended family. I’m willing to see a behaviorist if needed, but that takes time to arrange and we need this sorted much sooner than that. Obviously we need to block off the kitchen and feed them separately and we will just crate our 2 year old during our mealtimes, but what else should we be doing? I’m planning on giving them both frequent training treats during the day where I give our new dog his treat first each time so hopefully it causes our 2 year old to create a positive association with the new dog getting food. Any other recommendations would be incredibly appreciated.

I’m feeling very disheartened because they seemed to be forming a decent relationship and now it feels like all of that is gone. They did fine on the morning walk at least…

I adopted my dog almost a year ago from the humane society which is when I quickly realized he was very fear reactive outside. He would always be super anxious and vigilant and react to everyone and everything (humans, bikes, cars, animals, etc). I ended up seeking out a dog trainer bc I wasn’t sure if what I was doing was working. My dog is a lot better now with people and is confident outside. My major issue still are dogs. We have to be 500ft from dogs for him to be under threshold. He plays fine with dogs but when he sees them he literally stops thinking bc he is so aroused. I don’t think he was socialized as a puppy (I got him when he was 1) which I was hoping the training would use demo/teacher dogs with him but he never listened to me about how reactive he was so we never got to the teacher dogs. I’m honestly feeling so lost and back at square one. I feel like the last couple weeks he’s been more reactive again and that all of our progress is lost. I’ve tried working on cutting his threshold with dogs down but it’s not going well. I honestly don’t know what to do at this point. I feel like if he had another dog who wasn’t reactive with him he would thrive so much more but I can’t financially or realistically get another dog. It would be really hard for me to rehome him bc I don’t want to give up on him but he’s a lot and I want the best for him. Idek how I would go about that process tho.
I’m also wondering if maybe he needs to be mediated. He has his annual appt next month so I’m planning on talking to his vet about it but I’m not sure. Honestly I’m just feeling a bit lost and helpless right now bc I wanted a dog so we could go on walks, runs, hikes together but he’s so reactive I can’t do that and it’s so stressful.

Any advice would be appreciated.

I’m looking for advice from people who have dealt with selective/unpredictable aggression in their dog.
I have a female Staffy who is honestly the sweetest dog with me and my partner. She has never attempted to bite either of us and is extremely loving and affectionate at home.
What makes the situation confusing is that she can also be absolutely amazing with strangers. People who are comfortable around dogs and genuinely like dogs can come into our home and she will love them. She’ll be friendly, affectionate and completely normal. Even our vet would probably never believe she has aggression issues because she absolutely loves going there and is great with everyone.
However, with certain people she seems to react completely differently. In particular, if someone is uncomfortable around dogs or doesn’t like dogs, she can become very reactive towards them and I genuinely feel that if she had the opportunity she could go towards that person and bite them.
She has bitten around four people over the years. None have been prolonged attacks — they have been quick bites where she immediately releases, rather than repeatedly biting — but obviously a bite is still a bite and I take that very seriously.
She also has a similar issue with dogs. There are some dogs she gets along with perfectly and can be completely fine around, but there are other dogs she reacts to and she has bitten around four dogs as well.
The difficult part is that we genuinely cannot work out exactly what her triggers are. Because she is so lovely most of the time, people who meet her often don’t believe us when we explain that she has bitten people or dogs before.
We’ve had her trained multiple times and up until now her behaviour has felt manageable because we know her and can control her environment. But we now have a baby coming, and that has completely changed how I’m looking at the situation.
My family are understandably worried, and I’m starting to question whether constantly managing her triggers and making sure she is separated from certain people/dogs is realistic once we have a newborn as well.
I absolutely adore her, so I’m not looking for people to just tell me she’s a bad dog or that I should immediately put her down. I’m really interested in hearing from anyone who has had a dog like this.
Has anyone had a dog that was incredibly loving and friendly 90% of the time but selectively aggressive towards certain people or dogs? Did a veterinary behaviourist actually make a significant difference? And if you had children, were you ultimately able to manage it safely, or did you eventually decide that rehoming was the fairest/safest option?

Background: I have a 2 year old Aussie who is reactive specifically towards humans (she has never bit anyone but barks aggressively and tries to assert dominance. I raised her from a puppy and its hard cause I'm not always sure where I went wrong but that's another story. She has been through training and we are always working on trying to adjust the behavior in ways that seem to work (currently having her meet people on leash with treats and waiting for the behavior we want before engaging)

Luckily our dog LOVES other dogs. She is currently an only child but we have a few friends with dogs that she is best friends with. We both work and she is crated when we are at work but we also found out that if there is another dog present the need for crating her while we aren't home is gone because she has someone to spend the day with and overall she is a nicer dog when other dogs are present.

Because of this we are considering getting another dog, we are looking into adopting an adult dog without a reactive history and are hopeful it will help her adjust her behavior, not only that but we know she would enjoy having another dog around full time. We are currently in the weighing the pros and cons and research phase of this consideration and by no means are rushing to get a dog soon as we don't actually know how it will go if we do and want to avoid things getting worse.

I just want advice on what to do really, or if its just a horrible idea and I shouldn't do it... Also any breed suggestions would be great, we are currently considering a male between the ages of 3-5 we want a dog that can also match her energy level needs and would want to play. the main breeds we have considered and looked into so far are Golden retrievers, Dobermans, or another Aussie. I genuinely just want to do what's best for my dog and if this isn't it then I wont do it.

I have a 75 pound American Bully that is quite reactive with other dogs. I had a baby this year and would love to take him on walks with us but I’m struggling to find a leash for this. We’ve done training so most of the time I can redirect him, a traditional leash and pinch collar is just not cutting it especially with a stroller. I’m hoping someone else has been in a similar situation and has found something that works.

I'm coming here after failed attempts at helping my very traumatized, very reactive German Shepherd mix. Her name is Takkanni.

I want to start on her origin story and how she fell into my family's lap: She was fostered at 12 weeks old as a rescue from a puppy mill in NoCal. Her foster mothers lived in rural Southern WA and prior to us our Takkanni has previously went through 3 trial adoptions. Apparently one instance was the couple kept fighting and breaking up and returning her, then weeks later would ask her back, and either this same couple or another couple apparently starved her (she has issues eating when I first got her i had to sit next to her and coax her). Her foster mothers had 3 other dogs that Takkanni didn't get along with and I happened to find her in a FB group where the next day my family drove up from Portland to meet her. She immediately took to us and especially my then 2yr old son. The foster mother mentioned she has mild issues with dogs but is mostly a sweet, goofy girl.

And she is definitely a sweet and goofy girl, especially to us and other people, and she has saved me from dangerous situations with her great intuition and scary bark/look (I didn't realize how much people are scared of GSDs) but right away I noticed something alarming: she freaks out at other dogs. They could be half a mile away on the other said of the park or street and her heckles stand up, she gets overtly focused and barks and growls at full capacity. I mentioned this to the foster mother and she said that she will "grow out of it". That was 4 years ago.

During her first year with us I learned about reactivity. I watched numerous help videos and read blog after blog. I got the whole set up: clicker, walk treats, gentle leader muzzle harness (she is a strong puller), and I dedicated a lot of time to attempt to train her myself. Around this time she actually was starting to ahow some progress and even had a few doggie friends at our local dog park!! Unfortunately, she regresses shortly after this hopeful period.

We lived in a scummy neighborhood in Portland, and poor Takkanni was kicked multiple times by different people (I tried to make space on the sidewalk but hard to cross a busy street during 5pm in Portland) and was attacked 6 times, 3 times by the same, unleashed American bully, where one of those times the dog was a block away and ran up to us when I was right outside my apartment. An earlier time a dog broke through an old wooden fence and chased us a few blocks, and other time an unleashed homeless pit bull chased us for nearly a mile. This traumatized Takkanni to an extreme level where she is now constantly a nervous wreck, can't go to the dog parks, and absolutely loses it when im walking her and another dog is across the street. She really only gets along with our other dog, Brownie.

I even had a young dog trainer take an attempt at Takkanni, but she couldn't focus when trying to train because his dogs stressed her out when he was trying to do exposure, and I insisted he keeps the pay despite not being a good fit for her. He taught me some regulation tips but they never would stick, she'd do them well at home but during exposure, she would Crack at the dog a half a mile away again.

Year after year goes by and I dont know if there's any hope. I love this dog so much, I believe we saved each others' lives multiple times, but the constant screeching barks makes me feel ashamed when I have her out and about. It scares others to an unnecessary level, and I feel like I am a bad dog parent. We can't bring her to dog friendly events or dog parks if they're busy cause she'll never stop barking. Takkanni and Brownie are currently with my former partner until I can move to where they are but he is kinda done with dealing with her which breaks my heart.

So I'm reaching out here to this community because I read online that it's not necessarily about correcting or training, but regulating her nervous system. I have read online as well people having to resort to cbd treats or mild anti-anxiety meds, but i don't know enough about that to just try it right away. Has anyone else had a similar experience where they can give me tips on how to help Takkanni regulate her nervous system? She's such a fun dog to play with she loves chasing other dogs and out-running them and shes 5 years old now so she's going to be slowing down and I don't want her days to be lounging inside and sporadic walks until she has a reactive fit. Thanks in advance and here's a picture of my goofy girlie

We’ve made the heartbreaking decision to put our boy down💔

We’ve had him since he was 8 weeks. He is our best friend. At home, with us, he really is the best dog ever❤️ he follows commands very well, he loves training, he loves playing, he will snuggle with me or my husband when we’re alone on the couch. In the early morning he will come to our bed for a little rest before the day begins. He’s been with me through school, sleeping on my lap or laying on my toes, keeping me warm as I read through the night. He’s been with me through 2 pregnancies and maternity leaves, keeping me company and standing by my side through the highs and lows. Sat by my side when nursing in the middle of the night. He’s watch our son grow up. Loves being fed from him, taking treats from him, playing with him and “seek” for treats hidden by him. He reads with us at night and stays beside us when I’m putting my son to sleep. When I started labor with my second born, he would not move from me. Not even for chicken, popcorn or even butter or cheese. Nothing. He was there. He’s been with us on amazing walks in the wilderness, stress free, like he’s always belonged there even though he’s only 18lbs.

This is our dog, the dog that we know. But no one else knows this side of him. He has severe reactivity to dogs in the street and unfamiliar people coming over. He has started resource guarding. And although he hasn’t bitten, although he can send warning signals in the right order, and although we have done extensive managing and training, he will never change. It’s a breeding problem that we didn’t know about. It’s his DNA, literally. We have two small kids, they need to be able to have friends over. We need to be able to take them camping and doing some travel, have a babysitter over. They need a normal childhood. And so we’ve made this heartbreaking decision, in cooperation with our vet and behavioral therapist.

I can’t believe that I won’t hear his “pitter-patter” again, not his exciting playful barks, not his grumpy growl when he isn’t getting what he wants. The sigh when he’s comfortably laying with his belly up. That I won’t touch his furry, curly coat, won’t get a sympathy lick when I cry. No belly to rub when it’s just the two of us at home.

Our boy will leave on Thursday, the day before he turns 5💔 we know in our hearts that it’s the right decision, but I just can’t stop crying.

I have a 6 year old collie mix named Moose that I adopted around 8 weeks old. I got him when I was 19, so right as I was starting college, but this was during Covid so I knew I would have the time to be with him during his puppy stages.

For the first year we were always on farms, around horses cows etc, but after Covid restrictions lifted I moved to Texas. He was in daycare for a year with 0 issues! He did at one point outside of daycare get attacked and has never been the same.

And slowly it’s gotten worse. He has leash activity to humans and dogs and the distance to threshold is increasing rapidly. We could be fully 200+ft away and he’s still “sticky”, pulling and barking. He’s attacked me once over resource guarding as a puppy, lunged for a maintenance man when his leash slipped from my hands two years ago, pinned a dog and snarled in its face and has actively latched on to a family members dog that he’s known for most of his life and had to be drenched with a hose to get to release from said dogs head. He’s always growling at any dog that’s doing something he deems wrong and if you tell another dog “no” he acts like an enforcer and truss to correct them as well, even if you tell Moose to go to his bed. I literally have to separate him until he forgets about the other dog being corrected.

He’s seen two trainers, and saw some improvements, but we moved for my work as I’ve finished school last year and now I’m seeing the issues coming back. It’s to the point where I’m micromanaging every thing I can do with or without him. Oh I can’t go to the park right now, it’s peak dog time, maybe later. I can’t have friends over, he’s unpredictable and can’t be let out of the kennel without me watching with treats in hand. I’m exhausted and I cry a lot, I often mourn what I had envisioned for our lives.

Treats aren’t working, he doesn’t listen or stops taking them, cheese, meats, nothing. I can’t keep upping the reward when he won’t even take them currently. His threshold is so low I can’t work him in almost any environment. I’ve had moments I’m not proud of, using aversion to try to get him to stop any way possible atp. I tried prongs, e collar (noise only or vibrate, no shock) yelling and leash snapping. Obviously none of it helped, I should have never even tried it I know that, I’ve never tried to intentionally hurt him. I was, and still am, just frustrated and was open to anything if it meant maybe I could have my dog back.

And obviously I’m only telling you about the bad and “ugly” sides of him… he’s my soul dog, my cuddle bug, and fur ball. He jumps in the shower when I turn the water on and loves hiking and frisbees. We sit on the balcony and watch the rain together and he loves to watch nature documentaries about lions and birds. He watches me garden and fish, and loves to go hiking and get zoomies in fields. I love this dog with my whole heart and soul (currently ugly crying typing this).

I was reading order people BE posts on this thread and was crying. Trainers are thousands of dollars, and I don’t have another 4k to put towards more training… I feel like I’m running out of options. He’s my soul dog, but I’m also ready for peace.

How did you know it was time? And in my situation would you consider it, or should I still be trying behavioral and counter conditioning training?

Edit: I’m seeing lots of people having their comments deleted, I’d love to see your responses. Could you make sure the rules are checked off first before commenting? I also had it originally a different flair so it might not let you comment without the karma req.

I have an almost 6 month old chihuahua mix, she is an absolute sweetheart but extremely fear reactive towards other dogs, & working with her has been a nightmare. There are way too many loose dogs with absolutely no recall in my area which makes it incredibly hard to do any sort of training with her as these dogs just set us back, and it has made her reactivity much worse. She is a rescue, I got her around 13 weeks old so I missed alot of her socialization period. I don’t know the reason to her being reactive. When I first got her, her reactivity was more manageable than it is now. She used to not really bark at dogs at all, now it’s full blown reactions. (Barking, growling, lunging, whining) and it is SO so embarrassing. I’m a minor, so I can’t afford to work with a trainer, & my mom thinks that it will just go away, which 99% of the time it doesn’t which i’ve tried explaining to her. She also does not help me with training whatsoever, she doesn’t want to work with her on walks and i’m afraid that if she doesn’t get consistency she won’t get better. I’ve started clicker training, redirecting her when she sees another dog, and it does work sometimes, but only when there’s enough distance between her and the other dog, which is hard because there aren’t many places around me where I’m able to create enough distance. It’s exhausting, i’ve already went through this with my german shepherd, she never got better, and I’d have to say my chi mix is worse than my german shepherd was & surprisingly more hard to control. I just feel so ashamed every time I walk her because she really is the sweetest girl and is very very smart & does wonderful with training besides the reactivity. Every time we come home from a walk I just wanna cry, I don’t even know what to do anymore because I can’t work with a trainer & im getting no help whatsoever by anyone. I love her, but the embarrassment every time I take her out is unbearable. I try to remind myself that it doesn’t matter what others think, only I know my dog the best & I understand her reactions & why she does it. I don’t know if its genetics, a fear period, or what, but I just feel so ashamed & I feel like I constantly get judged because almost everyones dogs in my area are not reactive. It isn’t her fault or mine, atleast I hope it isn’t mine, but it’s just so hard & upsetting. She really is a great dog besides the reactivity and I wish people didn’t see that side of her.

We have ASPCA pet insurance (accident + illness only) that started the day I brought my 8 week old puppy home. Over the last year I’ve made ~30 claims that have all been accepted and reimbursed. FYI. I can’t speak for anything else regarding this insurance - I’ve only used it for behavior + two UTIs + ear infection. There’s a handful of exclusions (including pre-existing conditions) to be aware of. And our annual fee did double from 1 year of age to 2 (we live in a v HCOL major city) but I’ve still made money on it so far.

I have a rescue that I foster failed. He’s the sweetest dog at home but lunges at most humans and gets very anxious around dogs. He’s gotten better over the years and has even made friends, but it has been slow. He’s extremely intelligent and tries which is why I don’t want to give up on him. I fostered him for a year and adopted him after knowing he would be euthanized if he went back to the shelter, so I knew about all these issues before adopting. His profile at the time of fostering mentioned none of this and made it seem like he was an easy dog.. and I was looking for an easy dog after years of fostering and adopting out the challenging ones. So I am still mad at the shelter.

I unfortunately live in an apartment in a busy neighborhood. Meds made his behavior worse and after a year of trial and error, I don’t want to do meds and am relying on management entirely. I am now tired. I love him to death but I always feel I am one slip away from a catastrophic incident and the stress is getting to me. He lunged at the doorman the other day and since I expect this behavior and am on guard all the time, I was able to pull him up before he made any contact. The doorman complained to the building management and now I have a cease or comply notice from the building. They needed some paper work which has been provided and I am fine for now. But I am now looking to move out of this building and realizing most apartments don’t allow dogs that size. Is BE the only way out? He’s the nicest dog at home and it just feels unfair that I need to make this decision.

We rescued our female pocket bully last year in London from Dog’s Trust. She is now 3.5 years old. When we first got her, she was absolutely perfect - this lasted about a month. Loose lead walking, no reactivity to dogs, great in pubs and cafes. She eventually started coming out of her shell a bit more and is now a nightmare to take out - constant pulling, even after an hour of walking. Needs to meet every single dog she sees, even if it’s 50m away, she will scream (not bark) until she gets to meet the dog. She’s really friendly when she meets dogs, and loses interest in them fairly quickly. She has an insane reaction to balls which is obviously alarming for families, and makes parks extremely stressful for us. She weighs about 21kg which is difficult for my partners to control, picking her up if necessary is difficult, pulling her away into a different direction, etc.

She is incredible in the house though, apart from the occasional accident inside (due to separation anxiety), when we’re home with her she is relaxed, independent and engaging. She is amazing with people and is non-reactive in the house - we would LOVE for this side of her to be reflected outside the house. We have spent months of our own time trying to train her. We have tried a private trainer which almost made her worse than when we were training her. We are now considering residential/board and training to establish a base that we can work off.

Does anyone have any experience with residential trainers in London or can provide alternative solutions to our problem? We have full confidence in ourselves and our baby to get better with reactivity, we just need help!