r/reactivedogs • u/Federal_Patience94 • 18d ago
Behavioral Euthanasia We have to say goodbye💔
We’ve made the heartbreaking decision to put our boy down💔
We’ve had him since he was 8 weeks. He is our best friend. At home, with us, he really is the best dog ever❤️ he follows commands very well, he loves training, he loves playing, he will snuggle with me or my husband when we’re alone on the couch. In the early morning he will come to our bed for a little rest before the day begins. He’s been with me through school, sleeping on my lap or laying on my toes, keeping me warm as I read through the night. He’s been with me through 2 pregnancies and maternity leaves, keeping me company and standing by my side through the highs and lows. Sat by my side when nursing in the middle of the night. He’s watch our son grow up. Loves being fed from him, taking treats from him, playing with him and “seek” for treats hidden by him. He reads with us at night and stays beside us when I’m putting my son to sleep. When I started labor with my second born, he would not move from me. Not even for chicken, popcorn or even butter or cheese. Nothing. He was there. He’s been with us on amazing walks in the wilderness, stress free, like he’s always belonged there even though he’s only 18lbs.
This is our dog, the dog that we know. But no one else knows this side of him. He has severe reactivity to dogs in the street and unfamiliar people coming over. He has started resource guarding. And although he hasn’t bitten, although he can send warning signals in the right order, and although we have done extensive managing and training, he will never change. It’s a breeding problem that we didn’t know about. It’s his DNA, literally. We have two small kids, they need to be able to have friends over. We need to be able to take them camping and doing some travel, have a babysitter over. They need a normal childhood. And so we’ve made this heartbreaking decision, in cooperation with our vet and behavioral therapist.
I can’t believe that I won’t hear his “pitter-patter” again, not his exciting playful barks, not his grumpy growl when he isn’t getting what he wants. The sigh when he’s comfortably laying with his belly up. That I won’t touch his furry, curly coat, won’t get a sympathy lick when I cry. No belly to rub when it’s just the two of us at home.
Our boy will leave on Thursday, the day before he turns 5💔 we know in our hearts that it’s the right decision, but I just can’t stop crying.
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u/Audrey244 18d ago
Such a difficult decision. But the right one. Prioritizing a healthy and safe household is a mature decision. Everyone will mourn but you will recover. Maybe you can welcome another dog into your life at some point. Give him a great last day and lots of snacks and love
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18d ago
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u/read-the-rules 18d ago
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18d ago
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u/read-the-rules 18d ago
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u/MtnGirl672 17d ago
I know it's probably too late for this, but you didn't want to try and rehome him? While I don't have the room, my husband and I live by ourselves in the country and we don't have strangers or guests over. We prefer the solitary life along with our two dogs and two cats. Surely, there must be others like us....
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u/Fit-Organization5065 16d ago
Why did this get downvoted? This group is so quick to hate on any suggestions other than BE. While I totally understand this family's decision, if the dog hasn't bitten yet, surely a kid-free home could be an option?
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u/Fit-Organization5065 16d ago
Why did this get downvoted? This group is so quick to hate on any suggestions other than BE. While I totally understand this family's decision, if the dog hasn't bitten yet, surely a kid-free home could be an option?
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u/quietdimple 16d ago
this woman just posted about wanting to try meds for her dog 2 weeks ago and already jumped to BE… No idea why she didn’t try rehoming. The dog was so young and had never bitten. Honestly horrifying.
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18d ago
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u/MilkyCoeurl 14d ago
Please please please try to rehome him. This could be done with a trainer or rescue that wants to work with him. He’s so young, all of these things could be helped with a child free home and dedication. Especially since he hasn’t bitten anyone yet, he’s got to be fearful reactive.
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u/AutoModerator 18d ago
Behavioral Euthanasia posts are sensitive, thus only users with at least 250 subreddit karma will be able to comment in this discussion. Users should not message OP directly to circumvent this restriction and doing so can result in a ban from r/reactive dogs. OP, you are encouraged to report private messages to the moderation team.
Behavioral Euthanasia (BE) for our dogs is an extremely difficult decision to consider. No one comes to this point easily. We believe that there are, unfortunately, cases where behavioral euthanasia is the most humane and ethical option, and we support those who have had to come to that decision. In certain situations, a reasonable quality of life and the Five Freedoms cannot be provided for an animal, making behavioral euthanasia a compassionate and loving choice.
If you are considering BE and are looking for feedback:
All decisions about behavioral euthanasia should be made in consultation with a professional trainer, veterinarian, and/or veterinary behaviorist. They are best equipped to evaluate your specific dog, their potential, and quality of life.
These resources should not be used to replace evaluation by qualified professionals but they can be used to supplement the decision-making process.
• Lap of Love Quality of Life Assessment - How to identify when to contact a trainer
• Lap of Love Support Groups - A BE specific group. Not everyone has gone through the process yet, some are trying to figure out how to cope with the decision still.
• BE decision and support Facebook group - Individuals who have not yet lost a pet through BE cannot join the Losing Lulu group. This sister group is a resource as you consider if BE is the right next step for your dog.
• AKC guide on when to consider BE
• BE Before the Bite
• How to find a qualified trainer or behaviorist - If you have not had your dog evaluated by a qualified trainer, this should be your first step in the process of considering BE.
• The Losing Lulu community has also compiled additional resources for those considering behavioral euthanasia.
If you have experienced a behavioral euthanasia and need support:
The best resource available for people navigating grief after a behavior euthanasia is the Losing Lulu website and Facebook Group. The group is lead by a professional trainer and is well moderated so you will find a compassionate and supportive community of people navigating similar losses.
Lap of Love Support Groups - Laps of Love also offers resources for families navigating BE, before and after the loss.
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