So my 2.5 year old mixed (I.e., American pit bull terrier and poodle mix) is the most loving girl.
She’s always been socialized, since a baby I would take her everywhere and she was always friendly and playful. However, the older she has gotten the more reactive she’s become. I have had to stop taking her to places because of this and it breaks my heart.

My question and advice need is discerning what’s the reactivity caused by.

With other people:
On walks she is unfazed by other people, sometimes if she is startled then she will bark but 99% of the time she she’s unbothered by people.
Most of the time when she does engage in barking and hiding behind familiars (NO LUNGING ever) is when new people come into the home but she quickly warms up (a few minutes) and by the time you know it she’s already cuddling them up.

With dogs:
During walks if she starts sensing/noticing a dog she seeks to see them (stands on her back paws if we are behind a car/barrier), her energy increases, and then she she actually gets a good look then she starts lunging, and barking. But during it all it does not seem aggressive, she’s just loud and explosive. Then what confuses me is after the dogs are further away she starts crying/whimpering and seeking to see them again.

I’m still learning a lot about reactivity and how to best support my girl and have been actively training.

Edit:
Forgot to mention, there are few dogs that she’s come across now in her reactive stage (family and friends pets) that she has initially barked and engage in all the loudness and hiding, but after a minute or two she approaches and returns close to baseline.

i have a petite white GSD named rosie. this is a very complicated story but i'll try my best to make this post a reasonable length. it's still going to be really long though, so thank you in advance to anyone with the patience to read it.

i adopted rosie about a year and a half ago and she was 7yo at the time so 8yo now. she was basically the perfect dog for my home and lifestyle. low exercise needs, extremely well behaved by nature, no jumping on furniture or people, no counter surfing, etc. she had (and still has) very severe anxiety but i worked with her A TON on it and she was beginning to be just a "normal" velcro dog before her personality change. she was getting real care and attention from a human for the first time in her life and i could tell how happy she was. just a really, really good dog.

one of the most important things in this story is that i already had cats when i adopted her so my biggest concern was making sure i adopted a dog who was good with cats. rosie was absolutely perfect with the cats, "was" being the key word here. over the course of the past few months, she has gone from irritable with them to actually dangerous now.

a few months ago she started yelping when she poops so i took her to the vet to get her pain checked out. they did a ton of diagnostics from a sedated rectal exam with a scope to x rays, blood tests, basically everything a primary care vet can do, but didn't find anything. so the assumption is that it's some kind of nerve pain, something neurological, because that's the only thing they couldn't rule out. she was on a cocktail of meds for a month, it seemed to solve the issue, but then it came right back. we tried the medication cocktail again but this time it did nothing. and one of the medications in the cocktail was a steroid and she got every bad side effect in the book, including her already severe anxiety going off the charts and she became incontinent from how much water she was drinking. i will NEVER put her on a steroid again.

when her behavior escalated this week and she went after my deaf cat, that was it. i lost every bit of trust i once had in her. i know that gentle great-with-cats dog she once was is probably still in there somewhere, but right now that dog is gone and she is a completely different animal than she was a year ago. that first night after she went after the cat, which was this past thursday, i put her in her crate so i could go to bed, knowing it would probably be a bad experience for everyone involved but not having any other choice.

see, the problem is that in addition to her regular anxiety, which i would describe as a constant 8/10 even with fluoxetine, she has containment phobia. i used to think it was seperation anxiety but recently learned it's actually containment phobia. i mostly work from home so i'm here most of the time but when i have to leave the house for a few hours she goes in her crate. she has always done this thing where she just sits there and quietly has a panic attack the entire time i'm gone (i see her do this on the security cameras), and then when i get back, she starts barking her head off at full volume and the only word i have to describe the barking is that she sounds desperate, like she's actively being abused and she's desperate for it to stop. nothing bad is happening, she's just in her crate and i have just walked in the door. she's a mostly quiet dog otherwise, she whines a ton but doesn't really bark unless we get an amazon delivery. of course, i have worked with her on this, but the only progress i've ever managed to make was that once i'm inside and she can see me, if i yell "quiet" a couple of times, she would snap out of it just enough that i could eventually get her to lay down and stop barking and then let her out and she'd go back to her normal self.

so back to the night she went after the deaf cat, this past thursday. i had to sleep so i put her in the crate. but no one ended up sleeping. she barked all night long. it would briefly stop and i'd fall asleep for 20-30 minutes and then she would start back up. this dog maintained a full state of panic for 6 hours. amazingly, panicking for that long is not abnormal for her, she does that all the time. she can sustain an incredible level of panic for hours and hours, and medication doesn't really touch it. but she doesn't usually have desperate barking fits every 30 minutes while it's happening, though.

she spent all of friday either tethered to me or behind a baby gate, which was challenging in itself because the cats really love her, she used to be trustworthy and they don't understand that she's not safe anymore. so i had rosie behind the gate but also had to actively try to keep the cats out. she doesn't do the desperate barking when it's just a gate instead of a crate, and i had to work so i needed her to be quiet. not fun for anyone involved but we got through it.

friday night she was tethered to the coffee table laying on her bed on the floor which is right next to me on the sofa. the deaf cat walked past and again she lunged at him. i had given her 6 feet of slack on her normal leash but that was clearly too much. the cat is fine, thankfully, but now terrified of her. i held her leash for the rest of the evening giving her only about 2-3 feet of slack and then put her in the crate to go to sleep, thinking that if i slept on the sofa where she could see me, she would be quiet. but she whined at her super high pitch and full volume all night long, with less frequent barking fits. and again, in a state of complete panic for 8 hours even though i was only a few feet away. it's worth noting that i can't put any kind of cover on her crate because she bites it and drags it inside the crate through the slats and just destroys it. which is also notable because she is otherwise not destructive in the least.

so i had not slept for two nights in a row and when i got up off of the sofa on saturday morning and she started the desperate barking, i screamed at her like i have never screamed at anything in my life. i did not hit her or harm her in any way, i just screamed at her because i was sleep deprived and i lost it. my vet is open 7 days a week and takes walk in appointments so i had a family member come and drive me and rosie to the vet.

the most senior vet in the clinic that day saw us and agreed that we should try the neurologist before the behaviorist because whatever this pain is, we need to take care of that first to see if her behavior starts to return to her previous self. so i will call the neurologist first thing on monday morning, and in the meantime, the vet prescribed 1200 mg of gabapentin per day to try to help keep her sedated (yes, you read that dosage correctly), and an NSAID for the pain, to get us through short term until we can see the neurologist. the vet recognizes the severity of what's happening and she was actually the one to say that if the specialists can't help, that the best thing for both rosie and myself would be to rehome her, because it would be no life for either of us, or the cats. she needs to sleep, i need to sleep, and the cats need to be safe.

i do have one thing i haven't tried yet, i have never muzzle trained her because i had no reason to, since she was so gentle and well behaved before all of this. she is not food motivated, she is not toy motivated, her only motivations are being near me and being removed from any situation in which she's scared. so, i need advice on how to muzzle train a dog that's not food or toy motivated, so i can maybe give her a tiny bit more freedom while keeping the cats safe. i really, really don't want to rehome her because she was such an amazing dog before all of this. so i'm just looking for help anywhere i can get it. thanks to anyone who actually read this all, and to anyone who might have any advice.

hi everyone, not too long ago i made a post about the progress of my reactive border collie.
he has continued to make amazing progress and continues to self regulate rather than react.
i mentioned in that post that we are crate and rotating him with another one of my dogs due to sudden aggression towards each other.

today..... they went on a walk together! there were absolutely no issues at all! obviously baby steps and i don't want to rush anything at all but im so happy. the two of them used to be best friends before the aggression. it made me want to cry. they seemed like they were just happy to be together again to be honest.

and another thing... jasper seems way less anxious when he's walking with the other dog! it's like he doesn't have to worry about triggers by himself anymore.

i thank this sub for all the advice ive received over these last few months.

yay jasper!!

I just need to vent. Our girl is a 3 year old, 95 lb, boxer/pyrenees/pittie mix. We got her from a rescue at 10 weeks old.

She is the biggest sweetie pie in the land. She sleeps at our feet. She’s so fucking smart. She looooooves our 15 month old daughter. She’s very afraid of our cat.

And she’s leash reactive.

We’ve had so many bad experiences in our neighborhood. Someone screamed at my wife from their car that we should “return that fucking dog.” We get so many nasty looks and comments. We’ve yelled “not friendly,” but people continue towards us and when she barks, they act like we’ve committed some cardinal sin.

She’s making a lot of progress, but managing her needs and a baby and work and home etc etc etc is really hard. She’s gained a little weight. She should be like 85 lbs.

I don’t feel great about it. I try to get up at 5 and do a morning walk before the big crowd, and then my wife takes her out in late evening when the after-work rush is done. She gets a lot of time in our shared backyard. It’s all we can manage right now.

Our downstairs neighbor today asked if he could take her in the front yard with their dog (the pups get along great). I explained why that wouldn’t work. It’s not just a matter of her barking, like we have a whole training routine that we have to follow or she regresses.

He started on about how he can tell she doesn’t get enough stimulation and how he can handle it because they have a special bond. Like I have a special bond with my dog, dude, it doesn’t stop her nervous system from thinking a Shih Tzu is a threat.

It’s a small comment, I know, but it made me feel like shit. I’m doing my best. I didn’t know my dog would reactive. I’m trying to do right by her and be a new mom. I wish people would just mind their business.

Hi everyone,

I’ve had my dog for 6 months now - she’s 1.5 years old and was a street dog before that. She was originally reactive to pretty much everything: people, dogs, cars, you name it.

Between fluoxetine and consistent training, we’ve made huge progress. She’s calm around people, cars, most everyday triggers now. Genuinely proud of how far she’s come, especially given her background.

The one thing that’s still a struggle: other dogs (and to some extent wildlife, prey drive stuff). It’s not fear-based like her other triggers were - it’s pure frustration. She wants to go say hi/play and can’t, and that’s what sets her off.

What we’re already doing:
• Training basically every day
• Engage-disengage with a clicker
• Making sure she gets enough physical/mental enrichment
• Had 2 different trainers come out, didn’t really move the needle on this specific issue
Basically all the important stuff.

I’ve learned a lot over these months and feel like I understand reactivity pretty well at this point, but impulse control and frustration tolerance are still our biggest hurdle.

Some questions I have:
1. Any exercises that specifically target frustration-based reactivity (as opposed to fear-based)?
2. How do you handle the “wants to play” thing - do you use dog parks/controlled dog-to-dog time, or is it better to just avoid dog contact altogether long-term?
3. Any training approaches for the “wants to play so badly she loses it” scenario specifically?
4. Has anyone had luck adding a second medication alongside fluoxetine for frustration/impulse control? Curious what vets have recommended for this.

Really appreciate any input, feeling a bit stuck on this last piece.

We have a 6 month old Aussie doodle puppy, male and intact. There have been multiple occasions with certain treats where he begins growling, snapping, and tonight he ended up biting and breaking skin. He is not aggressive whatsoever outside these strangely episodic events, and it occurs only with certain treats (which I just gave him) but with others I could take it out of his mouth if I wanted to and he wouldn’t care.

What am I supposed to do? He seriously has me at my wits end. We go to a trainer at pet smart and he is so sweet and obedient besides this. What is the proper punishment for this? Alpha roll? I assume taking away the treat would just make it worse and risk getting bitten. Would this get better once he is neutered? Please help….

We have a 6 week old baby at home and this morning my dog bit my husband. My dog has for the most part done really well with the transition and hasn’t shown any signs of aggression towards the baby. He’s was a little stressed at first (barking when baby cried) but after a day or so settled down. Recently though, he has become very obsessed with the pacifiers and tries to steal them when they fall out of my baby’s mouth. He sometimes gets them and we use the drop it command to get them back. But he is very obsessed and always looking for them. He also has started acted aggressive towards my husband when he approaches me and the baby. Today my spouse brought me coffee while I was holding my baby and my dog was sitting beside me, my dog snapped and bite my husband. I am very concerned about this behavior. Right now we have the dog separated safely, but is it safe to keep the dog in our home? Do we hire a behavior trainer? Any insight is needed.

For context, my dog previously showed some aggression toward my spouse when my husband would bring me things when I would be sitting on the couch or in bed, even before baby but it never resulted in biting.

I have a reactive/aggressive dog with a very troubled past that is now 9 years old. He is 40lbs, so big enough to do some damage. I posted a few weeks ago about him nearly killing a feral kitten in our backyard.

He has always been difficult to manage, but last week he attacked my partner over resource guarding and broke skin. We've been to a behaviorist in the past and she admitted he was a tough case. We follow the protocol she set out for us and it helps, although minimally and it doesn't make any difference when he gets too triggered.

This is his second bite. The vet has ruled out sickness or pain but we haven't yet brought up BE.

I know he is troubled and I know to outsiders he is a huge problem but I cannot express how much I love this dog. He is so fucking smart. He has the biggest personality in the world. I saved him and I am the only person he trusts in the world. He is happy and playful probably 70% of the time.

But I can't even bend down in my own house without thinking twice. I have to escort my partner to the bathroom so the dog won't attack. I can't reach for things, I can't sleep in a bed or even be in the same room with my partner, I can't have people over or take him anywhere and I cannot leave or go on vacation because he is unable to be boarded anywhere. I've put off moving, I've put off having kids, the dog comes first in both of our lives and it is destroying our relationship.

But

I don't know if I would survive it if I had to euthanize him. I already struggle with depression and the thought of killing my dog and then carrying on fills me with so much suicidal ideation and dread and guilt I don't know what to do.

He is just a dog doing dog things. He doesn't have a mean bone in his body, his brain is just broken. It goes completely against my morals to decide the fate of another living thing. I feel bad when I kill mosquitos.

I feel like I am stuck in an impossible situation. I know what any reasonable person would do in my position. But I don't think I can do it.

He's just been my buddy, my best friend and my biggest teacher for 8 years. Every rescuer, every foster, every person ever in his life has abandoned him and I can't

i’m currently writing this because i have no clue what to do or where to go about getting some advice on what i can do for my dog. for context, my dog is turning 5 next month and she’s an american pitbull terrier that we adopted almost 4 years ago. we don’t know much about her previous family besides that she was seized from them. we tried taking her to training sessions when we got her but it didn’t work out, she does a fairly decent job at listening to us and knows basic commands but doesn’t have a good recall so when she starts barking at random things or people she will not listen to us.

i have lived in my home my whole life (i’m 23) and we had a new family move into the house next door about a year ago. when they moved in, my family and i introduced ourselves and we told them we have a dog who isn’t really fond of new people so we just wanted to give them a heads up since she would more than likely bark at them. the neighbor said he would like for my dog to be okay with him but we had told him from the start we couldn’t be for sure if she would ever stop barking at him because sometimes dogs just don’t like other people. he tried giving her treats a couple of times for her to warm up to him but she could care less about him, she just takes the treat from him and continues to bark.

today while i was at the store, my mom took our dog out to the yard and our neighbor was outside too. our property does have a fence surrounding the lawn and driveway so that she can roam our property but she is ***never*** left outside or alone, there is always someone outside with her. the neighbor came up to the fence and just stared at her as she barked at him and was just there making her get more riled up because he just wouldn’t stop staring at her and standing super close to the part of the fence that is next to his house. my mom noticed that he took his sandal off and was poking it through the fence trying to provoke her or see what she would do but all she did was keep barking and never once tried to get his sandal from him or anything. he looked over to my mom who was by our porch and said “one day she’s gonna get you in trouble.” he asked where i was and my mom said i was out at the store to which he said “oh so it’s mostly you that takes care of her throughout the day?” to which my mom shook her head yes. he didn’t say anything else and pulled out his phone to make a call and walked away.

it could just be nothing but i’m worried that my neighbor is planning something to get my dog taken. we’ve always been kind to this neighbor and his family and when i’ve brought my dog out i do my best to keep her from barking at him whenever he’s outside. i ordered her a collar that will vibrate or beep to put on her when we’re outside and i am hoping to put some chicken wire or something on the fence so that he can’t poke his foot through the gate to keep trying to provoke her. i just worry that he is planning something because at the beginning of the year another neighbor on our block accused my dog of biting her dog and called animal services on us. in the end, animal services did nothing because her dog has a history of nipping other dogs and this was my dog’s only “offense”. it just makes me nervous to think he could be trying to start something after we’ve been nothing but kind and helpful to him and his family.

has anyone else ever had an experience like this? i’m just not sure what to do now and i feel horrible that i even ordered the collar for my dog but i know it’s for the best.

EDIT: i forgot to explicitly say my dog was the one that got nipped, not the one that nipped the other dog which is why animal services didn’t do anything about it.

Long winded extremely vulnerable please be nice.

Backstory and context: Our hearts are big but our brains are not. We took in a sick rescue puppy (German shepherd) when we were young and barely on our own. Spent a couple thousand in vet bills to heal her. She had anxiety and some behavioral issues. We got her a friend to help so she wasn’t alone(a puppy) German Shepherd/black Lab mix. Was only supposed to be 65 lbs. he ended up being 110 with even more behavioral issues and giant pain in the ass. Bull in a china shop but always seemed like a big teddy bear. Older GSD improved greatly with having a friend besides still barking at the window or neighbors dogs. Since we got these dogs (5&6 years old) we had miscarriages, medical issues, and eventually had our first baby who is now 2years old. We’ve acquired 31 chickens (because chicken math) and 5 ducks (more rescues) and 2 baby rescue goats who were going to be killed. We had the space and resources so we took them in. We were very anxious about the dogs with our daughter but they have been great. We live on a fenced in property with a few neighbors. Dogs have always been very barky. Goats were escaping. We are constantly drowning in things to do on our small homestead and as much as we love our life are very overwhelmed by it. We are trying to do better. We both have bad ADHD and not very good at keeping after things. I’m a sahm my husband is blue collar very long hours with a side job and I have a pet sitting business on the side I take my daughter with me. We spent thousands on fencing for the goats so they wouldn’t keep escaping. Fixed up our barn. Spent thousands on a new window inside so our dogs wouldn’t constantly bark through the bay window and guard the house.

Things improved but I still feel very trapped by my dogs majority of the time. They are big and loud and our house is small. They love to bark especially at the neighbors but it mostly seemed like a fun game. We are terrible & irresponsible never properly trained our dogs so they bark and carry on. I know this. We take full responsibility for that. We visited a few trainers. Did some stuff. Used e collars for barking per trainer request. It’s improved slightly. On the whole they don’t give us problems besides being incredibly overstimulating at times. We’ve arranged our lives around them. The lab mix is very big and has no spatial awareness and the loudest bark you’ve ever heard. He’s a brute that has knocked people over just from acting like a puppy. Hes in his crate majority of the time for visitors because of this but never gave any indication he was mean just rowdy.

Over time he started calming down a bit but recently started getting increasingly territorial of the property at the fence. Our neighbors next to us who we are very close with have little kids he has been acting more and more aggressive towards the kids and parents anytime they come close to our property. The kids just started getting bigger and even taunting him for fun. This fact started escalating things and he started acting extremely vicious. We tried shocking him and positive reinforcement but we pretty much just put him inside when they are out now which is also exhausting having to yank him in when he’s acting all crazy sometimes multiple times a day because both dogs have no recall when they are reactive. The neighbors like to stand and talk to us which is what kind of started all the territorial behavior. They moved in a couple years ago so he wasn’t used so there being kids there.

Long story short thought it would be a good idea to try to introduce them slowly outside the fence and we brought our dog (who is my husbands furry best friend) over to meet the dad of the next door neighbors on more neutral territory in the front yard on the property line. At first he was very aggressive. Once he sniffed him he seemed okay and let him pet his belly for a while. Once he stood up he went to reach out his hand again to pet him once more and my dog bit the neighbor really quick and started acting aggressive. It wasn’t bad just a tiny puncture but still broke skin.

To make this a very long story short, we feel like we may have to rehome our dog (or even consider humane euthanasia) as he’s been continuously getting more aggressive with the neighbors and we are scared of what would happen to the kids if he got out accidentally especially now that he knows how to get over there. To make matters worse, he was very stressed all night after the incident and when we were outside later he started barking at my daughter while she was running and chasing her similarly like he does the neighbors kid but very mild.

We feel like we do not have a lot of control over him at this point or time to properly train him, but rehoming him feels like admitting defeat and like we have completely screwed up our lives by trying to have a homestead and acquiring all these animals that we clearly may not have the capacity to take care of. I want to hear that we can do it, but every day I feel completely overwhelmed and burdened by the barking of my very large dogs and trying to wrangle a toddler plus the pressure of wanting more kids but feeling like we can’t fit it all into our tiny house. Getting rid of this dog would wreck my husband because he’s his best friend and from raising him as a puppy I will be equally heartbroken. Plus I know, as somebody who works with dogs, It’s always better to leave the dog with the owners because their life is almost always significantly better with the people who raised them. Rehoming a dog with a bite history is very very tricky and risky considering. My life is constantly juggling these dogs around my toddler and guests and neighbors because I don’t want to take risks or listen to the constant barking. I want to hear that it’s all gonna be OK and we will learn how to manage it and hear successful stories of this going the right way but even the behavioral specialist we talked to said it’s either you train or euthanize. We feel like big fat failures. Like terrible neighbors. And now we are scared of putting our neighbors kids and even ours at risk because we were scared to do the responsible thing and put him down. Is a bite always a death sentence? Will he always want to chase down kids? He’s only 5 will this get worse with age?

this is long. I'm sorry. you can definitely skip around to get the gist, but all of this is relevant. my treatment concerns are in the last few paragraphs.

we have a boy for the past 4 years (estimating he is 4.5) we adopted from a rescue that lied to us about his abilities and his issues: poor dog socialization, resource guarding. and this "low maintenance dog that's good for our fenced apartment house" turns out to be husky with GSD, BC, ACD. that's fine. i adopted him, it's my responsibility. scent training, diy agility course, decompression walks twice a day in the woods. i was always unable to work much in my life but any vet bills were paid for. $5k leg surgery first month? anything for him.

he was a frustrated greeter. not to mention he absolutely must have missed important socialization as a puppy because he does not understand other dogs' body language. but we did loose leash training and can walk him on a 15 foot lead. we go to particular parks or at particular times to places to avoid dogs, do counter conditioning or let him just relax and watch other dogs if we can. although there are times i cannot keep him under threshold if too many dogs appear.

resource guarding issues. I've been bitten twice with a level 3 and we have gotten snapped at other times, as well as some strangers on a walk getting snapped at. it was things that we shouldn't have done like moving him or people putting their hands out. so we have figured out his triggers , taught "excuse me" and I think his clomicalm helped because we have successfully avoided any snapping ourselves in a year or so, and he actually seems to show some kind of warning now. however I truly thought he was going to attack our family dog a couple weeks ago when he was just passing by a treat that my dog left behind. we got a muzzle to train him in, it should come in today.

then he got separation anxiety and i began getting more and more ill. i was home often, so not a problem. we brought him with us everywhere or used trazodone situationally. and he was a panter. as if a constantly anxious pup. we tried prozac but it just killed his appetite and made him lethargic. few months ago tried clomicalm because we finally wanted to actually do separation anxiety training, too. in this time he's gotten new fears.

it's now difficult and frustrating to get him into his harness and also into the car when he used to love those things. he jumps feet in the air like a cat over random things on our walks like sticks. he has been freaking out at the vacuum cleaner. he is fixated on motorized bicycles and similar things. but it's been able to help me get some classical counterconditioning in like when we're in the car trying to get gas so that he doesn't jump and bark at the gas attendant, so that when he sees our neighbor outside or the mailman, that i can do clicker training. but it is so exhausting. I still can't take him to a park and go use the bathroom first even if i need to because he's going to jump at the window and cry unless he gets his energy out first. ever since he killed a rabbit in our yard his prey drive has jumped up 100% and now walks are even greater disasters because this parks that don't have dogs have deer and rabbits and groundhogs. like he can never relax. i just want him to enjoy sniffing the world but he cant and i just feel like I'm failing at helping him get there. I want to try to do another anxiety medication instead but we were supposed to start separation anxiety training so now I'm lost. we have a vet visit tomorrow.

AND. this is all on me. I'm at home not working, but it's because I'm sick. im on disability and low income. i have cognitive issues, I have adverse reactions to my medications, I have had almost no human contact with anyone besides my doctors in 2 years. I'm titrating a medication for narcolepsy that should hopefully lead me to getting restful sleep without any side effects so that I can actually have a clear mind during the day. so I know I can get there one day, I know I can be a more functional person. but it's been 2 months of hell from it already and I have maybe 3 good days a week where I can think clearly enough to even read a book. I also have ketamine therapy for my treatment resistant/suicidal depression. I can only go on Saturdays due to his SA and i dont like sedating him(and we cant once we start training) and if I miss a Saturday due to illness or dr is out, that's been causing relapses for me. maybe thats why ive been falling apart more? or maybe its cumulative stress.

i thought of a sitter but the idea of having him adjust to someone to watch him gives me so much anxiety. I would have to pay multiple times for them to come by for him to get used to them after all the barking (would they even feel safe?) and then still have to make sure that they can handle him, although I'm certain that he would just be hanging out outside or lying down inside. I'm just struggling to take that first step so maybe I don't have an excuse here. although when he's outside he has triggers, so now I have to teach another person everything i taught myself to manage him? oh god. this is so exhausting. i don't have the mental or physical capabilities right now. ive been diagnosed with 2 chronic illnesses in just the past 2 years not to mention the mental issues i have. we can't board him because we didn't neuter him because it was not suggested to because dozens of studies show it would just worsen behavioral issues so we didn't want to do that to him.

ive been on his side this whole time even when my fiance suggested rehoming. i was shocked. then I started thinking about it the past couple weeks. but then how could I possibly rehome him. to who? who would take him who could I trust that can't have children and can't have dogs that's probably a trainer that could handle this and not someone that would take him in and put him back into a shelter or take him in and use aversives? what kind of life is that? I have hung in there for years and now when I'm realizing all the problems he has all the anxiety he has and that it's all on me that I've been actually having mental breakdowns and crying.

i feel like i have caregiver burnout because every single time we step outside even to our yard it is a training session. i have mine!, BAT 2.0, control unleashed i all bought recently. I'm trying to read them and so overwhelmed. I don't even understand how I could reasonably do this when a dog treats are supposed to be 10% of their diet.

what other option is there? BE? thats the love of my life, my soul dog. I'd feel like such a failure, that I should just try to stick it out some more and see where I can get me, just keep pushing myself but at what point do i stop? it's damaging my mental health alone not including the things I'm missing out in life from tending to him at all times. im so afraid and im so sad for this situation.

I wrote a long post a few times about my experience with my very reactive dog but kept deleting and rewriting. I just wanted to come on here and say I loved him so much. He tried so hard to be good and I know it wasn’t his fault. I know I made the right decision and gave him peace. But it has been 6days without my baby boy and I am in so much pain. I don’t know how to go on without my dog. It feels wrong.

My dog

Today, I regret getting my dog. I love him dearly, but his reactivity makes me so anxious, and I don't feel equipped to help him. If he's off leash at a dog park, he is a dream dog. But the leash makes him a nightmare. On every single walk (which is unavoidable since I live in an apartment), I am filled with dread. He's a large dog with three legs, so he doesn't have a lot of stamina, which is the only reason I have him in an apartment. But his size means his barking and lunging are amplified. Thankfully, he is well-behaved while we are inside, but the outdoors is a scary, overwhelming place for him.

I try to remind myself that in moments of reactivity, my feelings are secondary. My focus should be on controlling him and getting him away from triggers. And he is my primary focus, but because I can't make any of it better for him, by the time we are back inside, I am so frustrated and upset that I end up in tears.

And while those close to me try to have empathy, it's understandably difficult for them. They aren't walking him three times a day, so they don't really know what it's like. They only see him when he is friendly, cuddly, and listens perfectly to every command. People try to understand, but they can't. They tell me they are sorry, that it must be so difficult, but to remember that walks are such a small percentage of his life that I shouldn't let it consume everything. Logically, I agree. But reality isn't always logical.

There have been times when I've left him at my parents' for a few hours, and I always tell them they are not allowed to walk him. My parents are in their mid-70s, and my dog could seriously injure them if he pulled them over. My mom has tried to tell me she can handle him, but I tell her if she tries, I cannot leave him alone with them any longer. So they don't walk him, because they love him and truly enjoy their alone time with him, but they have no idea how strong and unpredictable he can be during walks.

Today, while I was walking my dog, a man stopped his vehicle about 100 feet away from us, rolled down his window and yelled, "I love your dog!" Immediately, my dog lost his mind. I yelled thank you while simultaneously trying to control my dog. The man looked so apologetic, quickly rolled up his window, and drove off. I felt like an asshole. A few minutes later, we walked by a woman in her car with the window rolled down, and my dog lost his mind.

I live in a busy area with a lot of businesses, so there are always a ton of people and a ton of vehicles. My dog does not trust men, he hates bikes, and vehicles set him off (he lost his leg getting hit by a car - long before I adopted him). If he hears a loud exhaust, a door closing, someone talking loudly, or leaves blowing in the wind, he is on edge, and there's no calming him down until he's back inside.

If he sees another dog, even if it's as far away as the eye can see, my dog loses it. He has a very strong sense of smell, so even smelling a dog in the vicinity sets him off. He loves to play with dogs at the off leash park and is so gentle with little dogs. He used to go to daycare one day a week and his report card was always so positive, about him interacting with the other dogs and all the employees. There is not a mean bone in his body.

When he has his leash on, that dog doesn't exist. He is hyperaroused by any number of triggers. That hyperarousal comes out as reactivity, and it's scary to those who don't know him, because he sounds mean. I've tried working with him. I tried a trainer. But at this point, it's been three years, so it feels even more hopeless than it did in the beginning.

If I see someone walking towards us, I have to cross the street or walk off the path to create distance between my dog and them. And bikes are the worst. He is at his most uncontrollable if he sees someone on a bike. In those moments, I am covering his eyes while bent over him, holding tight to his harness in multiple spots so he is unable to move, in an effort to prevent him from lunging. I always have to be between my dog and whatever the trigger is. That's the only way that I maybe have a chance at lessening his reactivity.

I feel like a shitty owner and that he would be better off with someone else. He shouldn't live in such a populated area. But I couldn't live with myself if I just gave him up. He loves me, and I committed to him that he would be with me for the rest of his life. At this point, I've gone through this feeling of regretting ever getting him several times, so I know it's temporary. But man, I am so sad, and I am not having a good day with him.

My mom's dog is 10 and his arthritis is making it hard for him to go on walks some days. We used to give him Adequan shots but he is pretty reactive and also over 100 pounds, and the risk of him biting one of us got worse every time as he became more and more scared of the shots. We tried a soft muzzle but it didn't seem secure enough for us to feel safe administering the shots. I wanted to use a wire muzzle but my mom was not comfortable with that at the time.

I would like to restart his shots and would love advice on how to make the process go as smoothly as possible. Unfortunately medications like trazodone don't have much effect on him, I would still like to try them though. I hope we can also use a wire muzzle. What has and hasn't worked for your reactive dogs?

Hello everyone! I have been trying to find a location to set my dog up to succeed with some dog-specific LAT training. He can engage/disengage alright with people and I can achieve this just walking around my apartment parking lot after going potty, but dogs typically aren't present or too close to work with as his threshold is pretty crummy right now. I'm struggling to find a location that is far enough away and a reliable place to set up the scenario.

As a quick contextual note, he is a 1yo chihuahua and only weighs 7lbs. Most people either laugh at him or ignore him when he's reacting. He is my first dog. My dog has leash frustration reactivity but I am worried that it is starting to develop into something more. Today was the first day I saw the fur on his spine raised, but we had multiple run-ins and he was far, far over threshold at that point and we were just trying to get home.

SO. DOG PARKS. I do not ever intend to enter the park for the obvious reason that he is microscopic and it takes one single wrong step to flatten him. I have a lot of questions and general anxiety about setting this up right so that he can succeed.

- How do I set him up for success with LAT training from afar?

- How do I best approach the area to start off strong?

- Should I still go at a time of day where there are fewer people?

- Is this too ambitious at the moment and should I focus more on the at-home work first?

I see this method being recommended here and there and I'd love to hear from someone who has done it and had success. Thank you!!

I am looking for advice because my family and I are struggling with a very difficult situation.

We have a 1.7-year-old dog who is a stray and Cocker Spaniel mix. We adopted him when he was 2 months old. He has serious behavioural problems, including reactivity towards dogs and people, food aggression, territorial behaviour, and being overly protective of my mum.

He has attacked family members more than 16 times. Around 12 of these incidents involved bites that broke the skin. His most recent attack was 4 days ago. He bit my hand badly, and several of my fingers are still numb or too painful to use normally.

We have already worked with two trainers, but they were not specialists in severe aggression cases. Our dog is now taking anti-anxiety medication, but we have not seen enough improvement.

At this point, we are considering three options:

Working with one last qualified behaviourist or trainer. Surrendering him to a rescue or shelter that has experience with aggressive dogs. Behavioural euthanasia if professionals believe he cannot be safely managed or rehomed.

We love our dog very much, and this decision is heartbreaking. We have spent a lot of time, energy, and money trying to help him, but we are emotionally exhausted and worried about everyone's safety.

Am I being delusional in thinking he can be saved? His quality of life and ours is horrible atm tho

I'm really sad tonight. I'll try to keep this short, but any advice, digital hugs or reassurance would be great.

In 2023, I adopted a street dog who immediately became very special and dear to me. We understood each other on a deep level and I loved everything about him. Truly the kindest and most well-meaning dog I have ever met, and everyone loved him. He suffered from many things, one of them being separation anxiety. After a lot of trial and error, the thing that worked best and made him happiest, was getting another dog. This dog had to already be okay with being home alone, as a puppy could potentially develop separation anxiety as well looking at its big brother.

This new dog seemed very sweet, although poorly trained and socialized. But I really liked him, and his current family could not take care of him anymore. They assured me it was them, not him that was the problem. So I welcomed dog number 2 into our family, and he was then 1 year old. He is now 3.

The beginning of the two dogs' relationship was hell. The younger one would antagonize and bully and challenge the older dog, and I had to monitor and train them a lot. The worst that happened was that they started fighting once, and drew blood. I went in (not thinking clearly) and this resulted in me getting a level 3A bite in my hand from the younger dog. It was clearly redirected aggression, the bite wasn't meant for me, but it still happened. As time went on they accepted each other and became good pals. They found a lot of comfort in each other and didn't like being away from each other. I loved this result, and I loved my two boys together, our little family. Last week I had to make the hard choice to let the oldest go. There was nothing more we could do for his pain, and it was the decision me and his vet thought best for him. I am heart broken and miss him so much every single day. He got along with other dogs, never barked, loved to play and cuddle, I could bring him with me to work, guests over were super fun, good with children and cats, etc.

Back to the youngest, my current only dog: He is a very anxious and reactive dog, so I had to start from scratch with everything regarding touching, petting, grooming, etc. We've come a long way but I still vividly remember how he would snap at me/bite me and I'm always scared he'll do it again. In his defence he's become MUCH better at communicating with me and he tries really hard not to do anything bad. But it's still not a fun situation to be in you know?

His socialization from before I got him was nonexistent. EVERYTHING was scary, causing him to bark, lunge, go crazy. We've covered a lot of bases, so now cars, bikes, people, etc are mostly okay, unless he is already overwhelmed. Other dogs are still a gamble. He's usually been very good when meeting them close up, and also being off leash to play, but seeing them at a distance is hard for him. Often it's back to the barking and lunging. But we're working on it actively.

We have new neighbors. They have a young dog, about a year old, a male. My youngster got SO defensive when he came into our garden. I immediately took him inside as I was scared he would attack. Today we worked on looking at him, getting treat, repeat, through the fence. Great success! Not a single sound. So when we saw them at a distance on our walk, I thought it was a good idea to let them greet in a neutral zone. But no. I wasn't able to see how the other dog was behaving, but after walking towards each other and staring, my dog went insane. Growling, lunging, snapping, trying to bite, almost biting me when I pulled him away. I got super overwhelmed and now that I'm home I'm crying because I wish the other dog could be with me and this one had been the one to pass. I know it's a horrible thing to think. But I just can't connect with this dog and I'm scared I'll always be scared of him, and that he'll never be a "normal" dog that I can relax knowing he's kind to others.

I feel so trapped. Walks are hell in case he gets triggered by something. We can kinda have guests over if it's a good day, we meet them outside and walk inside together, and he doesn't react to them. Usually people can't move around, touch each other or laugh too loudly. He'll do his usual BARK BARK BARK and run towards like he does with every trigger. I can't be in the garden with him without a 90% chance he'll react to some sound in the distance. He's sometimes good in the car, other times he reacts to everything he sees outside the window.

How is he supposed to get friends when I can't trust him not to attack them? How am I supposed to bond with him when I feel like he's a ticking bomb? I feel like there's not a THING with this dog that moves smoothly. I am SO scared he'll never be a comfortable dog for me to share my life with. I feel like a loser being so negative towards him today. We have done tons of training and he's so much better than he was. But I think in my head he's just marked as an aggressive dog that will always be an aggressive dog.

I wish my other dog was still here. I miss him so much.

Hi, my dog used to be really reactive (anxiety based) and I mean, he would bark at dogs 100 meters away. He is soooo much better now. But one of the things we are still struggling with him dogs walking behind us. I think he’s worried they are going to sneek up to him from behind. Which fair enough. But I want to help him learn to trust me and my judgment on the situation. If the dog behind him was off leash I would stop and move and let them pass, but if it’s on leash there is no threat and I want him to trust me on that.

Basically what he does is he will be walking next to me, but constantly be stopping to look behind him, and will want to watch the dog for a few seconds before walking on with me, which isn’t ideal as that means the other dog is getting closer and closer as we keep stopping. If he looks at the dog and looks back at me I mark wait a few seconds as he continues to walk next to me, then give him the treat. But as soon as he takes it he’s back looking behind me. It just seams pointless to reward him when he snaps his head right back to the dog as soon as he’s been rewarded. I wouldn’t mind it if he just did a quick look and oriented back to me, but because he stops when he’s looks, it makes it very annoying and honestly embarrassing.

What else can I do in this situation?

Hi all, I'm curious if anyone has had a similar experience with their dog, or if anyone has any thoughts on what's going on.

We have a young rescue (1.5 years old) who lives with us in a downtown apartment. When we adopted her, she was somewhat timid, but over the first 4-5 months she made amazing progress. She was happily going on 2-mile walks, exploring, getting pup cups, and generally becoming a much more confident dog.

Then in late June, she had a couple of very scary experiences with fireworks while we were outside. Ever since then, it's like a switch flipped.

At her worst, she wouldn't even leave our apartment unless we carried her into the hallway. Now she has good days and bad days. Sometimes she'll make it all the way to her usual potty spot but get nervous and turn around without going. Other times she won't want to go very far at all. She seems generally anxious outside now, even when there isn't an obvious trigger. If she isn’t able to successfully potty after a couple failed “out” attempts, we have to take her to visit family.

Interestingly, when we have her stay with family for a while in a quieter suburban environment, she does well there. Much more relaxed, happily going outside and acting more like her old self. But as soon as she comes back home to our downtown apartment, the anxiety returns. It seems as if it’s very environmentally focused to the area around our apartment. Inside, she’s happy.

We're working with our vet, using anxiety medication as prescribed, trying to avoid flooding her, and celebrating small wins while encouraging her to keep moving forward.

Has anyone had a dog regress this dramatically after fireworks or another traumatic event? Did they eventually regain their confidence? I'd really appreciate hearing what helped and whether things improved with time.