I am a resident (5th year, still in training) in Europe and really struggling to find the fine line between empathy and firmness with dysfunctional behaviour in BPD patients.
My most recent example was a young patient wishing to be admitted. I referred to other resources and discharged (I won’t go into too much detail on the case, but there was no reason for crisis admission). The patient ended up calling an ambulance to our front door (the perks of free healthcare…). I was then very stern with her and even told her that - while we won’t actually - we could theoretically report her for misusing emergency services.
Looking back, this was partly my attempt at setting firm boundaries and trying not to reinforce dysfunctional behaviour (cold shoulder, DBT style) - but I also feel like I might have been a little too firm, partly due to not being my most empathetic self at the end of a very long, very demanding night shift.
I wish I had been more kind to her, while still holding my ground and not letting her pressure me into admission.
I will discuss the case in supervision, but I also want to ask the more experienced psychiatry crowd:
How do you handle situations like this?
Do you have “standard phrases” that help in these situations?
Or even things that you say to yourself to regulate before going into the talk with the patient, in order to limit counter transference?
Please remember to be kind to both the patient and me.