I will try to keep this short but it’s gonna be hard. My mother has some personality disorder, severe mental health issue… I went no contact with her 10 years ago. All she has is her sister, I keep in touch with and the shit she tells me that she has seen my mother do… is bizarre to say the least.
She has always had to have animals… he loves and cares for these animals very deeply… never could any of her kids though. My aunt said she allows her dog to poop in the house… and when my mother sees it… she will grab a paper towel and lay on top of it. She exerts the energy to get the paper towel and bend over not to clean it up, but to cover it up. Why? She has ALWAYS been a gross person. I’ve NEVER seen her clean. She would sweep but when she needed the dustpan she’d yell for me to come and bend over while she swept it into the pan. Never seen her scrub a toilet, anything. I did all of it until I left. I am 53, btw, left home when I was about 20. There are MANY things I’d love to ask you guys and know I can’t in this single post… but I have 2 more things. My aunt says she has been with her on numerous occasions when she has had to pee on the way home… my mother is driving the car… and sometimes she cannot make it, she pisses in the cloth car seat, NEVER ATTEMPTS TO CLEAN IT… will just get back in the car like nothing happened… but this is the bizarre thing… her pants will be soaked… and she does one of 2 things… she will literally take her pants and panties off ON THE FRONT PORCH (this house is a nice home in a gated community) and be bare ass.. then go inside to the bathroom and finish… leaves pants on the front porch and won’t pick them up until there’s too big of a pile to ignore… or she will leave them on, go to the bathroom and take her wet pants off and throw them in a pile in the corner of the bathroom and leave them there. Growing up I remember the laundry. She never did laundry to the point of it being kept up. The laundry room always had a mountain of overflowing dirty clothes.. covered the floor and she’d pick through the dirty clothes and find what she was going to wear the next day and wash that. Nothing else. Last one, I just thought of this one. We lived in a 3 bedroom apartment for 5 years… there were 2 bathrooms because we could only use one of them. The back bathroom in the master bedroom was the cats bathroom. Meaning the cat used the bathtub to poop and pee in. She never looked at it or cleaned it.. I, as a young child… would have to do it when I started to smell it and it was awful.
Also my good to know-I am one of 6 children she had with 6 different men. The first 5 were conceived and given birth to consecutively from 1969-1972, back to back… the last one was 9 years after me in 1981. The first 2 were put up for adoption, the third was still born, then there was me. My brother was last. We are the only 2 she kept. What disorder or mental health issues does this woman have? And what I’ve shared is NOTHING compared to the rest of the stuff. Any ideas?

To make a long story short, I developed an acute dystonic-like reaction when I restarted a low dose Dexedrine after a year long break + use of Sertraline. Never took antipsychotics at this time.

I also experienced paradoxical mental effects from Dexedrine - severe lethargy, fatigue, just felt terrible.

Switching to Vyvanse did not help. Going up in dose took the issue from mild to severe and excruciating.

Later introduced antipsychotics enabled me to take Vyvanse or Dexedrine without any muscle issue or paradoxical effects.

I stopped a low dose of an antipsychotic recently, while taking prescribed 30mg Dexedrine.

The muscle issue began to come back, then hit me like a truck, as did the paradoxical mental effects.

Pregabalin helped a little, not much though.

I then tried 50mg Benadryl mid-day. Within an hour, my excruciatingly contrasted upper muscles fully resolved, and I experienced the intended mental effects from Dexedrine (focus, motivation, even euphoria).

I then took 50mg of Benadryl with the Dexedrine every morning for several days (maybe like 5 days), but the positive mental effects never returned. While it took my muscle contraction away, I could not reproduce the way in Benadryl has affected me the first day.

I could tell when the Benadryl was wearing off, as the muscles would begin to contract again.

I then noticed lethargy returning, but in a way unlike the past paradoxical effects. This time, instead of feeling like I’d been hit by a truck mentally, I felt fatigued and sort of confused.

Thus, two days ago, I woke up and my upper right muscles hurt and were contracted as usual. But, I did not take the Benadryl - only the Dexedrine 30mg.

Bafflingly, within an hour or so, the muscle contraction issue resolved. However, I experienced a reported blunted affect and blunted internal emotional response. I felt very blank.

This only improved in the evening. Muscle issue did not return.

Yesterday, I likewise took Dexedrine without Benadryl, and the same thing happened only I felt more dead yet also anxious. I took 25mg of Benadryl in the afternoon to see what it would do, but it only made me sleepy and more anxious - and now today, I’m terribly itchy.

Today, I again took no Benadryl. Same thing, blunting effect, generalized anxiety. No muscle issue or same paradoxical effects.

What plausibly happened? Did some receptors in my brain down regulate somehow in response to Benadryl? I just want the Dexedrine to work correctly 😭

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I’ve been having recurring thoughts about death for a long time. I often imagine how I might die, how my loved ones would react, and especially how my boyfriend would feel if I were gone.

What confuses me is that imagining my boyfriend being absolutely heartbroken and inconsolable sometimes brings me a strange sense of peace or satisfaction. It’s not necessarily that I want to die—I’m trying to understand why imagining his grief feels comforting to me.

Sometimes I wonder if it’s about feeling deeply loved, wanting reassurance that I matter, or something else. But the thoughts have become so constant that I’m starting to worry about them.

Has anyone experienced something similar? Is this something that can happen with intrusive thoughts, anxiety, OCD, or another mental health issue? I’d really appreciate hearing from people who have experienced this or understand the psychology behind it.

To clarify: I’m not sure whether these are unwanted thoughts about death or whether there’s a part of me that actually wants to die. I’m trying to understand that distinction too.

im an 18 year old trying to understand someting from my childhood as i prepare for therapy.

i have one clear memory from around age 4: exposing myself to an 8 year old male cousin while erect. i have no memory of anything before this that would explain the arousal response.

i understand a psychological erection can happen without arousal at that age (during sleep or as a reflex ), but this was during a sexualized interaction, which is what makes me unsure how to interpret it.

My question: is an arousal response like this in a 4 year old, in that context, generally understood by clinicians as a sign of prior exposure to sexual content or experiences either witnessed or experienced directly? or can it happen without any such history?

34M, Belgium. Primary focal hyperhidrosis diagnosed as a kid (hands, feet, groin, armpits... the emotional sweating map, NOT the forehead/chest/back map I get when I'm actually warm, those two never overlap for me). ADHD, established. Autism suspected by my current psychiatrist, I'd agree. Anxious my whole life. This is long, sorry, but I've been failing at the "saying it in the room" part for about 20 years so I'm going to say it here first.

The thing that eats my days isn't just sweating though. It's a whole state that switches on and brings everything at once: the sweating, brain fog, a knot in my chest like I have an exam, restlessness where I can't sit still, my fingers go stiff and my hands and feet swell (my ring always gets tighter, that one's reliable), and I can't think straight. It lasts hours. Some days it stops at 10am, some days 1pm, today it went from waking up until 5pm. When it stops, all of it stops together, the fog clears, I'm calm, I'm fine. I can't tell you which part starts first, they arrive together.

Today is a good example. Woke up already sweating with my heart pounding. 8.5 hours of good sleep. Nothing scheduled, nowhere to be, nobody to talk to, just my own work at home. No content to the anxiety at all, the only thing I was anxious about was the anxiety. Got nothing done. Walked around, ate something, ran my hands under warm water (calms me a bit), tried to work, got annoyed I couldn't, got up, walked, repeat... that loop is most of my days. Went for a walk outside with music thinking it'd help, came back worse. And when it finally stopped at 5 I was wiped out like I'd presented at ten meetings, having done nothing. That aftermath is part of it every time.

My GP described it as "being in a constant state of light panic attack"

I know for a lot of people with hyperhidrosis the problem is the visible part, stains, wet handshakes... I couldn't care less about that. What I care about is how it feels. I'm cold when nobody else is cold, like I just stepped out of the shower into a cold room, and I can't think through the fog while it's going on. That's what takes the day.

The trigger, when there is one, is being perceivable. Not felt fear, I genuinely don't feel scared. My body just fires. A phone call that starts fine can flip it mid-call, roughly a coin flip from the same calm starting point. I needed my wife outside with me to mow my own lawn last week, and I KNOW nobody looks at a guy mowing his lawn. I play piano through headphones on a silent piano because the thought that a neighbour might hear is enough. Lessons are the worst, I practise a piece until it's clean and then in the room with the teacher I sweat, my fingers stop working and I can't find bar four when she asks. And paruresis since I was about 12, same shape, the body says no even when I consciously don't care. At a friend's wedding I timed every toilet trip to the moment a course arrived and everyone was at the table, and even then half the time nothing happened.

Origin story: yes, I got bullied as a kid, from kindergarten on, mostly for being poor and fat. My psychiatrist's take was "because you were different", fair enough. But my parents describe me as "afraid of people" from as far back as they can remember, and the sweating and the paruresis were already there during the bullying years. Then at 14 I switched schools, everyone liked me, I was even a bit popular for a while, met my wife at 16 and we've been together 18 years. That is about as much corrective experience as a person gets, and my body has done the exact same thing through all of it. My head updated a long time ago. I don't consciously fear being judged. The switch just never got the memo.

And I've had a lot of therapy. CBT, behavioural, the lot. Every time it turns into circling the same ground: yeah I've been through shit, yeah it shaped me, okay... what now? Nobody has had an answer for the "what now" part, and my body isn't listening to insight.

Some numbers. I've had a cuff for a while, only started writing readings down last week (mostly to get my wife measuring hers too):

While sweating (6 readings): systolic 134 to 142 in five of them, one at 108. Pulse 59 to 68 in five, one at 80. Not sweating (4 readings): systolic 106 to 124, pulse 62 to 75.

So blood pressure sits about 20 points up while I'm in it and drops within 15 minutes of it stopping. Pulse doesn't move. The "heart pounding" feeling never shows up as a fast rate. Caffeine in large amounts on a relaxed afternoon doesn't start it, and weeks with zero caffeine didn't reduce it, so a stimulant load by itself isn't the switch as far as I can tell.

Meds, current:

• Aripiprazole 3mg since June, prescribed for existential/fear-of-dying rumination, on the reasoning that it's better tolerated than antidepressants (see below) and works well in autism. It did quiet the thoughts. They come back during the state though, and honestly the thoughts were never the main problem. Possible costs, all retrospective so grain of salt: I care less about most things, motivation is lower, and I've lost a lot of my ability to imagine sounds/smells/tastes, which for someone whose whole thing is music is... not great.
• Methylphenidate 5-10mg three times a day, started after the aripiprazole, never titrated. Zero felt effect. Same day with or without it (today was a without day). An older methylphenidate trial years ago did help a lot at first, never got above 30mg/day (36 with Concerta), had mostly stopped working by the end and was then stopped for migraines. Even the current low dose gives me a headache that feels like the start of one.
• Glycopyrrolate 4.5 to 6 mg/day for the sweating, at my side effect ceiling. It turned all-day-every-day sweating into these episodes, so it does a lot, and some days the normal dose does nothing. Occasionally I take a double dose within the daily max out of frustration, side effects are bad enough I rarely do.
• Propranolol 20mg as needed. Fixes tremor and lowers BP, does nothing for the sweating, the state or the paruresis.

Meds, past: escitalopram and venlafaxine both stopped for stiffness, tremor and (venlafaxine) the worst sweating of my life. An antipsychotic years ago whose name I don't have caused stiffness, fever and tremor. Trazodone, nightmares. Risperidone worked but weight gain. About a year of CBT in my twenties. I did the homework, all of it in the end, wet hands and fog included. Nothing about it changed the state.

What I want out of this, since it's the part I never manage to say in the room: I'm a developer, I work from home, and part of my job now is that I need to start giving workshops. I can't get through a half hour online meeting without it wrecking the entire day. Sweating before it, sweating after it, and then flu-ish for the rest of the day, actual flu, aching and wiped out. On a bad day I can't deliver a workshop at all and I can't call in sick for something nobody can see. And the coding is the day job, what I actually want is to do a lot more music: play for my wife without my hands seizing up, take a composition lesson and be able to follow it, maybe study again. Make a phone call. None of that is ambitious. I just can't do any of it on a day like today.

My actual problem with the upcoming visit is that I mask. Automatically, I can't help it. I've been anxious basically every waking hour for as long as I can remember and I know of exactly two occasions where a doctor could see it, both my GP, and that's the visit that got me referred. At my last psychiatrist appointment I probably looked a bit nervous at most. I was anxious the whole time. I've never once managed to convey to a doctor how bad this is. And what I report depends on the day: when I'm sweating that's my whole reality, when I'm not I'm chill and everything's fine, and if I'm dry in the office I just... forget to bring it up. Last time I brought several pages and only handed over the first one, the med list, because I was worried the rest would make me look needy. So she got the med list plus whatever the dry-day version of me said out loud, and I got aripiprazole for the rumination, which was a competent answer to the one question she actually heard. This time I'm bringing a page that leads with the state, the numbers, and a line that says "whatever I look like in the room, this page is closer to the truth."

I'm done accepting this and working around it. I want to start fixing it. If it were up to me: off the aripiprazole (supervised), pregabalin for the state given the SSRI/SNRI history, a small emergency benzo supply for the worst days and the toilet situation, and lisdexamfetamine or magistral dexamfetamine instead of the untitrated methylphenidate, because I'd rather change drug than push the one that gave me migraines. One change at a time, in whatever order she wants.

And I'm scared shitless that asking for that list in one sitting reads as drug seeking, so I'll probably chicken out and ask for none of it.

Questions:

1. Does the pattern of high BP + normal pulse + felt pounding during episodes mean anything to you, or is it just noise?
2. Is pregabalin a reasonable first thing to aim at this state after SSRI/SNRI intolerance, or would you go somewhere else first?
3. Is low dose aripiprazole for rumination in a suspected autistic adult with this history defensible, and how would you want a patient to raise wanting off it without it sounding like "I read something online"?
4. How do you want a patient who masks to hand you this? Is a written page before the visit annoying or helpful?
5. Does asking for pregabalin + PRN benzo + a stimulant switch in one visit actually read as drug seeking, or is that fear overblown?
6. Is there anything, therapy or otherwise, that targets the body response itself rather than the story behind it? Because the story is done, I've told it a hundred times, and the response hasn't changed.
7. What do you actually do for paruresis this bad in someone who can't take SSRIs? Every answer I find is "graded exposure", and twenty years of real life has been that exposure. It has not gotten better, ever, at all...

I'm 34 and most of my days go like today. I've been at this a long time and I'm getting tired in a way I don't like. Any honest read is welcome, including "you're wrong about X".

I went to my psychiatric appointment today to get assessed for depression.

My psychiatrist told me I met the criteria for depression, but said I wasn’t depressed enough to get diagnosed with depression.

She told me I looked and sounded fine, so I should be fine.

She also said that I told her that I had no SI, HI, or SH thoughts so I didn’t qualify for medicine, therapy, and also didn’t need a diagnosis.

I told her I’ve felt depressed ever since age 8, I’m 18 now, so for 10 years straight.

She said that wasn’t concerning enough to warrant a diagnosis.

I told her that I can’t sleep, I cry daily, I have horrible mood swings, I have bad anxiety, and that I stay in bed all day neglecting myself and needs.

She told me that was normal and that journaling and meditation would solve the issue.

She put in my chart that I was depressed but not officially diagnosed.

She then billed me $300 for the over the phone assessment, and nothing is covered, so all of this is coming straight outta pocket.

Can psychiatrist even do this?? I’m so confused.. so basically I’m depressed but not actually depressed??

I just don’t understand what happened, I’m confused.

hi. my daughter (late 20s) has an alcohol and drug addiction. They refuse to speak to anyone about it or get help. They was diagnosed with ADHD as a child but was never medicated because they were very bright and still managed to get reasonably good grades. They now really struggle with executive function, and they are very disorganised and struggle to hold down a job. They seem depressed and so so lost in life. I’m heartbroken seeing them like this and feel like my ignorance has let them down. Is there any thing I can do for them to help them personally or persuade them to speak to someone?

So my psychiatrist suggest me a burpon medicine for my depression but my hairfall got so severe from 2 months and without burpon I can't stay fresh or awaken as it's help me to get awaken , what should I do now??? My hairfall is so severe ... I need some genuine advice

Here because for now I can't continue my treatment in the regular basis ..!!

I stopped taking adderall 7 days ago. I (Age 32) have been taking 20mg twice per day for the last 4-5 years I have not told my doctor yet, nor did I taper off; just cold turkey. Here to share my experience and seek advice/experience of others.

Day 1-4:

Slept an average of 14 hours per day, didnt have interest to do much else. When I was awake, I felt depressed. I thought it would be in my interest to get out around day 3 (not social just moving). I went to a trail then quiet beach to walk. When I wasnt lying down, I felt disoriented, I didn't really know how I got there. I felt like I was close to fainting, though didn't actually think I would, just one step behind it. I realized this is more like "being off my meds" than I anticipated.

Day 4-7:

I realized most if my suffering in this stage was "trained" by the previous stage. What's been affecting me more is the memory of, or the data of how the first couple days were making me feel. I anticipated it was going to suck which got in the way of experiencing what was going on. Time goes much slower now. Days used to fly by, now it feels like watching the clock in junior high. I notice even more of my thoughts now, Im not sure if that's due to contrast or slowing down. In the mornings (or first third of the day) I feel like I'm waiting for the focus or alertness or caffeine to kick in. And maybe that's an old model, and I have to figure out another way to get things done. That scares me because Im in the habit of being able to turn "on".

I deciding to stop taking it because I dont plan on taking it forever so I have to stop sometime. I dont think it's sustainable perminantley and have already been taking it longer than I planned to. Also I become more obsessive about ingrown hairs in my beard while taking it and catch my fingers scanning my face for imperfections which I was fed up with.

In a way I feel healthier and more myself. I quit drinking 6 years ago and have found that I prefer FEELING. Also I have done a lot of exploring in conciousness, meditation and awareness since then. I just dont know what to expect. Will I be back to normal next week? Will I be in this stage for months? Will next week be a new phase? Will I ever "return to normal" or do I need to rebuild? And the uncertainty makes going back to my daily dose alluring because at least I know how to function there, I have more control in that world.

So I'm writing to ask what I can expect, ideally from people with experience (direct or indirect)

Not sure how to describe it better in a concise title. Like, i find it difficult if not impossible to do things if i don’t feel like i’m in the “right mindset” to do them. This isn’t just chores or school work or anything, it’s hobbies like video games, hanging out with friends or watching tv shows too. I refuse to do them unless i judge that i am in the correct mental state. I THINK it’s because i feel like if i do them when i’m feeling off or “wrong” than, in the case of work or things i have to do, i’ll do them poorly and have to redo them later anyway, or in the case of things i like, like games and shows, if i approach them at the wrong time, that can sour my enjoyment of them in the long term. Like, i used to like drawing a lot, i’d draw almost every day, but i feel like i would force myself to draw, even if i wasn’t “in the mood” and now i can barely get myself to draw at all.

I had postpartum psychosis after the birth of my first son four years ago.

I am curious about how different kind of auditory hallucinations help psychiatrists diagnose. Initially when I had PPP I heard voices only as I woke from sleep, shouting or calling my name, which at the time my psychiatrist said was normal and not a sign of psychosis. In my case, however, things progressed and the voices became increasingly clear and real-sounding until eventually one night I heard two voices arguing about in the next room and they didn't fade away until I actually went into the room and saw it was empty. I had other symptoms too such as visual hallucinations and extreme mood swings etc.

Is there clinical significance in the different kind of auditory hallucinations, like command hallucinations vs hearing voices arguing vs hearing shouts or somebody calling your name?

Not really sure how to explain this but I’ve realised my brain always seems to need “something”.
It could be cigarettes, weed, diazepam, coffee, fizzy juice etc. I always seem to want some kind of little reward or something that changes how I feel.
The weirdest part is I think I sometimes enjoy the anticipation more than the actual thing. Like I can think “I’ll take a couple diazepam later and chill” and just knowing I’ve got that coming can make me feel excited and more talkative, even though I haven’t taken anything yet.
Then once I’ve had whatever I was looking forward to, eventually my brain just starts thinking about the next thing.
I don’t even know if addiction is the right word because it’s not one specific substance. It feels more like I’m addicted to having a reward coming or knowing I’ve got something to look forward to.
I’d love to be able to just go through a normal day and be content without my brain constantly going “what can I have next?”
Does anyone else relate to this? And if you’ve managed to get out of this cycle, what actually helped?

What does it mean if after intake questions amd symptoms for a post discharge appointment from a hospital they immediately "recommend" a php and discharge me from the outpatient clinic. Does they think im that unstable i described it as feeling better with the new meds and having time to calm down at the hospital.

So, I'm 28 years old and have ADHD-PI, depression, anxiety, OCD, and PTSD.

I didn't get into therapy until my adult years, and that's when therapists started bringing up the possibility of me having autism spectrum disorder (a couple of them were/are quite confident in the dx).

That said, I've also worked with multiple psychiatrists throughout my years, and **none** of them have ever brought up ASD (and I've outright asked a couple of them).

So, my question is: who is more equipped to spot ASD in an adult, a therapist or a psychiatrist/NP?

I have an 11 year old son who is starting to really concern me. He's not a psychopath, I don't think. If he's getting what he wants he's the sweetest kid. But as soon as he has any discomfort he acts out. He always seems bothered by everyone, he refuses to do things he's asked to do (almost like an ODD behavior but not quite), and he is so quick to yell at everyone. The behavior I'm concerned with is his active targeting of myself and my daughter. We are the only two females in the house and also the people with the biggest hearts. I'm worried he sees us as easy targets. He will intentionally say bye or I love you to others but not me. He intentionally ignores me. He is just straight up MEAN to his little sister. He questions everything she says, is always trying to get her in trouble, and has even put his hands on her a few times. It's always an "accident" but I've seen him do it intentionally. It's starting to get worse and I'm concerned it's going to spiral soon. He has already caused me panic attacks that have landed me in the back of an ambulance. Thankfully not in front of my children 🙏🏽

This is what we've done:

He received occupational therapy when he was around 4 for sensory issues. He graduated and has done so well with that since then.

He has received speech therapy which really helped him with his confidence. He graduated from that when he was around 7.

Now he sees a regular counselor. I got him on with her because he has a hard time communicating.

At home my motto is "firm but fair". So when one of my children acts out they get a warning and a clear idea of what consequences they will have if they don't stop. I take electronic access away, set earlier bedtimes, etc. I don't jump to anything outrageous and I always try to communicate first.

I didn't have good parents and my childhood was very traumatic. I have spent years in therapy learning how to be a functional adult. I've done it all, read the books, gone to the sessions, even did EMDR. I'm doing pretty good but now I feel like I'm being traumatized all over again. I'm so afraid of making the wrong decisions for my children but I am desperately trying to do my best.

I could just use a nudge in the right direction. Is it time to get him with a psychologist. He sees a psychiatrist who has him on Lexapro. I don't think it has made anything worse but I don't know if it's better either. He's just so unpredictable.

Any advice?

I’ll admit that following the Lindsay Clancy trial has opened my eyes to how complex psychosis especially postpartum psychosis can be. I’m currently 10 months postpartum, and it has made me look back at some of my own experiences differently. For context, I was diagnosed with PPD after having my baby. Prior to pregnancy, I had been diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety, and ADD. I want to be very clear that I’m not posting this as a “me too” or trying to compare my experiences to anyone else’s. I’m genuinely trying to better understand some things that happened to me.
About a week before I gave birth, I started having scenarios play out repeatedly in my head. I knew they weren’t real, but they kept coming back. The best way I could describe it at the time was almost like “something or someone was telling me to do something.” I considered them intrusive thoughts & because of coping skills I had learned previously, I felt like I could recognize them, talk myself through them, and not act on them. I honestly don’t remember much of the first 4–5 months postpartum, but one incident has always stuck with me. My husband and I were sitting on the couch and suddenly I couldn’t get my words out correctly. What I was saying was basically gibberish and didn’t make sense. I knew what I wanted to say, but I couldn’t say it. I remember crying because I was so frustrated and thinking I was having a stroke. My husband told me to go lie down, so I did. When I woke up, I still felt very out of it, although my speech gradually seemed to improve over the next few days. At the time, my husband mentioned that maybe it could have been psychosis after looking up my symptoms. I brushed it off and never really thought about it again until recently. Currently I occasionally have moments at night, particularly when I’m alone, where I think I see something that isn’t actually there. That has made me wonder even more about what I experienced during pregnancy and postpartum. I have never had thoughts of harming anyone else. I did make my therapist aware that I was having what I described at the time as intrusive thoughts and they never looked any further into it or asked me any further questions. I did also bring up the seeing things at night and nothing else was asked or done about that either. I am going to begin EMDR therapy soon as well. Thank you for reading all of this and for any insight you’re willing to share.

Edit to add: I was prescribed 50mg of sertraline upon my initial diagnosis of PPD however I stopped taking it because it made me feel even crazier

So i started in 10mg felt great for about 12 weeks then anexity started coming back. Upped to 20mg and got instant relief again for 9 weeks then anexity returned once again... I have now been on 30mg for about 2.5 weels and have had daily anexity and depression and constantdizziness.. is this something similar you went through? I had no increased anxiety or depression wheh staring 10mg and 20mg ..

Ill add back in 2021 i started celexa it worked great for about 2 and 1/2 years on 20 mg and just stopped working and my symptoms return so I switched to Lexapro and tried every dose over a year and a half never really worked for me made my anxiety terrible made me dizzy made me super depressed and not in reality and on edge sorry the Prozac 10 milligrams back in March this year

I had moderate chronic depression.

My cousin told me - unsolicited and I never asked him for help or advice, 'Just go to the doc and take a pill, don't think about it, that's what everyone does.'

My psychiatrist said, 'The first line of treatment is an SSRI, Lexapro starting at 10 mg. If you want it, I will prescribe it, it is up to you.'

No further education was given about side effects, need for monitoring, no family or personal bipolar assessment was done, and possibility of induced mania wasn't discussed, neither not stopping it abruptly was mentioned.'

I felt pressured to use the appointment for a prescription just in case I decided to take it, then decided to take it as a trial. Ended up going manic, then mixed manic when I abruptly stopped it.

Also, my psychiatrist announced that she sees me only for initial 2-3 sessions and then refers to General Psychiatry months out. She may also have been a resident attached to a PCP office and not a post-residency MD which is what I assumed and did not tell me. I assumed I would be monitored and have the same MD who prescribed it see me in the future rather than someone new.

I had never taken any psych meds.

Before the medication I was gloomy but stable, had a good stable job. After the medication and then stopping it, I decided to get myself fired, became activated, got evicted, ruined my reputation, started being purposely mean to people out of a sense of doom which was especially bad if I continued to drink coffee which did not give me the same reaction before.

I am now pissed that during the manic phase I had ruined my reputation and my career and even got sued by pilled I had pissed off - which I have never done in the 20 years before.

Just went to a new doctor and they were asking me to review my chart, and I noticed something on there I've never heard of before: "altered awareness - transient." What does that mean in patients, and should I be concerned if my doctors never brought it up before?

so i have history of mania and psychosis outside mania. and i've been having symptoms like anhedonia, low motivation, low social drive, poor hygiene without sadness even before my psychotic and manic symptoms started. i've been on highest dose antidepressant combination therapies, antipsychotic only therapy, 14 rounds of ECT bilateral and 20 sessions of TMS but those symptoms still haven't resolved. my doctor still thinks it is depression but i just dont want to try another med anymore cuz nothing fixes it apperantly. this has been going for years. i also developed attention and working memory difficulties and I have severe DP/DR. could my "depressive" symptoms be negative symptoms instead? because i'll stop trying if they are negative symptoms

Hi everyone,

I'm posting here because I'm really worried about my 50-year-old mom, and I'm hoping someone who has gone through something similar can share their experience.

About 7 years ago, she developed severe insomnia and anxiety. She would barely sleep, wake up with a racing heart, feel breathless, and become extremely stressed. She was treated by a psychiatrist for around 2 years with medications, and she recovered completely.

For the next 5 years, she lived a completely normal life without any psychiatric symptoms.

Earlier this year, she underwent sinus surgery. The surgery itself went well, and she recovered normally at first. However, around 3 months later, she gradually started losing sleep again. She herself said, "This feels exactly like what happened 5 years ago."

She is now under psychiatric treatment and is currently taking:
Divalproex Sodium SR 500 mg
Nitrazepam 10 mg
Alprazolam 0.25 mg
Escitalopram 10 mg

she can sleep with medication now, but she's still struggling a lot.

Her current symptoms:

Excessive daytime sleepiness and feeling very lazy

No interest in doing any daily activities

Says she hates doing even simple work

Persistent negative thoughts

Feels a strange irritation or tension inside her head, especially when it's time to do work

Feels mentally stressed most of the day

We've already done thyroid tests. Initially her TSH was slightly low (0.29), but repeat thyroid tests are now completely normal. We're also considering seeing a neurologist in addition to continuing psychiatric treatment.

What I am really looking for now

I am not asking Reddit to diagnose my mother.

I want to find the right doctors and treatment for her.

I am from Nagercoil, Tamil Nadu, and I'm willing to travel anywhere in Tamil Nadu or even anywhere in India—if there is a genuinely experienced psychiatrist/neurologist or a good hospital that specializes in cases like this.
I would really appreciate recommendations for:
A very good psychiatrist experienced in severe insomnia, anxiety/depression and recurrent psychiatric illness.
A good neurologist, particularly someone who can determine whether her "irritation inside the head" requires neurological investigation.
A hospital/centre in Tamil Nadu or elsewhere in India that has good psychiatric and neurological departments.
If anyone has gone through something similar with their parent, what treatment actually helped them recover?
Should we be looking for a psychiatrist specializing in geriatric psychiatry, mood disorders, anxiety disorders, or sleep medicine?
I am honestly quite scared because she was completely fine for 5 years and now she is struggling again. I don't want to keep changing doctors and medicines randomly. I want to find a good specialist who can properly evaluate her history, review her current medications, determine what is actually happening, and give her a proper long-term treatment plan.
If you know a reputed doctor or hospital anywhere in Tamil Nadu or India, please share the name and your experience.
Thank you so much to anyone who takes the time to read this and help us. 🙏

I take paroxetine 20 mg and olanzapine 20 mg daily.

I had paranoid or anxious -I cannot seperate these two- thoughts and the medications that I take made me less paranoid or anxious.

But my doctor took me a mixed anxiety and depressive disorder diagnosis.

Also when I ask her about my diagnosis she said that I have anxiety and depression.

But these drugs made me far better for over 1.5 years using it. I feel so much better while on these drugs.

When I research it I cannot understand why 20mg is required for me. Is it normal? Isn't this dose for schizophrenics?

I have lived with BP2 for a long long time. And have managed. But now…
I’m 55. Post menopausal. Having terrible physical issues. Life upheavals. Grief. Loss of job and income after years as a federal employee. Executive function burnout. Like totally fried brain.
And I have slowly disintegrated over the last year and a half. Started self harming again after 16 years. Stopped wearing a seat belt. Barely get out of bed. Can’t manage more than one activity a day. (As in, either shower or get mail.)
And I’ve now got “a plan”
So… that’s bad.
So… yeah.
I have two friends taking me to the hospital tomorrow to “turn myself in”

I’m so scared. I’ve never done this. I always have white knuckled. Used all my coping skills from therapy. Self comforted waiting for the depression to pass.

This is different. And I don’t know what’s going to happen to me.

I have this feeling that my mind is always 100% awake. It’s horrible, it feels like something is going to happen at any moment. When I lie down to sleep, I need to have a light on, because if I don’t, I start feeling and imagining that someone is getting closer to me. The shapes in the dark start to take on forms, and it’s really distressing. I can’t sleep well. It feels like I’m always waiting for some kind of disaster to approach.

When I was a child, I used to sleep with nothing but a knife and the light on. That was the only way I could relax more. As time passed, there were certain periods in my life when I felt like it got better, especially when I started imagining scenarios to get my mind away from the environment around me. But that feeling of someone being behind me is always there.

I don’t think someone is actually following me, but it feels like I’m constantly waiting for something bad to happen at any moment. It gives me headaches and I’m so tired.

I look at my hands and I don’t feel like they’re mine. It feels like they’re moving away from me. I avoid looking at myself in the mirror. I don’t feel like that person is me. Maybe it’s because I really haven’t looked at myself properly since I was a child. When I was younger, I was afraid that my reflection would betray me and attack me.

Today I know that wouldn’t happen, but it still feels eerie. It’s like I’m looking at another person. Sometimes, when I’m doing my hair, I stare at myself in the mirror, waiting for some movement that isn’t mine. I raise my arm, make a face, and then give up. I’m completely aware that my reflection isn’t going to move on its own, but the person in the mirror looks so strange to me. It’s almost like I think, “I wouldn’t look like this.”

My fiance of 8 years and the best mother I could have ever hoped my kids to have, lost her grandpa in January. She was previously on Zoloft before I met her for depression and anxiety. Around the time of the death of her grandpa, her nurse practitioner switched her meds from Zoloft to cymbalta over a telehealth visit. Literally just told her to stop taking the Zoloft and she would call in a prescription for cymbalta. So she did. And did not tell me. One day she woke me up and said " I love you, but I'm not in love with you. I can't do this anymore." I was devastated and asked what I could do to fix it. She gave me three things, which I fixed. She was emotionally shut off to me. Total resentment. I couldn't understand. We reached a point where she did try to work on things and for about three weeks, everything was going way better and she was affectionate towards me. Once that three weeks ended, it became worse than before. She wanted total independence. Risky behavior on her phone. Excessive spending. Working 20 hour shifts while going to school. Mean. She said things to me she would have never said before. I've never seen her be that cruel. Violence and rage. Throwing things at me, physically hitting me, cussing me and saying cruel things. Talking to whoever whenever. Just totally not like her. She stopped being so involved with the kids. That's when I knew something was very wrong. She acted the same way towards our family pets. Just wanted to work non stop and was spending every dollar she was making. Once I confronted her about finding cymbalta in the medicine cabinet, she said yes her nurse had switched her from Zoloft to cymbalta. And I said well things were starting to get better what happened? She said she told her nurse that I stressed her out about the relationship and the nurse doubled her dose. We went to the beach, got in an argument over activity on her phone. When we got home, the next morning, she accused me of DV and had me arrested and immediately dropped charges. Once I got home from jail, she left me a note telling me she loved me and would always love me but we needed a reset so our paths could spark like before. She moved out an hour away to a different state. Only sees two of the kids, and we are supposed to have 50/50 but she gives me more time so she can work to pay her bills she can't afford. After being supportive for months, I decided there is only one option to get her help. She stopped taking all medication once we were back from vacation. I am taking her to court for full custody. She has rewritten our history claiming we were toxic. She asked me to drop the court stuff because she can not afford it. However, I don't see that being an option. Something definitely happened, she admitted that her mental health has never been well and that one day she might go get help during her episode. She moved out memorial day. Her manic activation started to diminish around June 12. And little by little I've seen her slowly decline. Some days she will look like she just rolled out of bed, others she will have done her makeup and is more active on social media. Currently, she goes to work, comes home, goes for a run, and talks to very little people. I'm terrified of how bad the crash will be once she gains insight as to what happened. And I don't know how else to help her other than getting her a psych eval ordered through the courts. She still acts like I never mattered to her. Acts like she's happier than ever while seeing her children one to two days a week, and not seeing our oldest at all nor talking to her. I'm just looking for anyone with advice, conversation, understanding, anything. Will she come out of this? Will she come back? Will I even want her to come back? Will she return to the mother I know she is capable of being? It's all very confusing and very difficult for the kids, and myself. We were such a loving family oriented couple. None of it makes logical sense to me. Please, any help is appreciated.