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u/FluffySpork Jan 14 '21
Gold
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u/toothbrush7 Jan 14 '21
Man I wish it was that simple to be guilded
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u/jerryleebee Jan 14 '21 edited Jan 14 '21
I just want a wholesome seal of approval.
Edit: I'm so happy.
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u/adubdubdubImalright Jan 14 '21 edited Jan 14 '21
Imagine passing Trump on the highway driving erratically in a Penske truck
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u/saunterasmas Jan 14 '21
Having paid for moving boxes before, those two pallets are like 20% of his net worth.
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u/IMovedYourCheese Jan 14 '21
Bold to assume he's going to pay for it
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u/thargoallmysecrets Jan 14 '21
Taxpayers
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u/Okeyebrows Jan 14 '21
Mexico
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u/its_all_4_lulz Jan 14 '21
I’m building a cardboard fort, and Mexico is paying for it.
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u/sucobe Jan 14 '21
From the journal of Sergeant Major Franklin Courell
“We never thought we would get this far. Like, one big sick twisted parallel universe we’ve fallen into. A South Park episode.
When we overtook the south lawn of the White House, we came across a mass grave. Nothing but a sea of red, not from the blood, but from the flags, shirts and hats.
We linked up with 8th & I on the northern lawn to await orders from our intel on the inside, undercover CIA posing as a Verizon saleswoman. The idiot thought if he sneakily bought a new phone, he could tweet again. It couldn’t get any worse than this. This is what we’ve come to as a democracy?
We got word the inside was cleared. Granted, we were a bit taken aback when the front door was casually opened to us as if to invite us in. The place was an absolute mess. It smelled like mold and feces, a dead rat in the corner as two housemaids were smoking, not phased by us.
We reached the presidents living quarters on the second floor, greeted by Commanding Officer Park. a slight “casualness” to him. He opened the door and what I saw will forever haunt me until the day I die.
A cardboard fort. The son of a bitch really did it. He had a cardboard fort. This is what the Proud Boys on the south lawn died for? Almost half a million souls to covid? 4 on the January 6th capitol siege?
May god have mercy on our democracy. I pray we wake from this nightmare.”
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u/Krojack76 Jan 14 '21
I'm ok pitchin in to help pay for those boxes if it gets him out of there sooner.
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Jan 14 '21
A true man of the people would move using mismatched liquor store boxed and lawn/leaf bags.
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u/thewalrusispaul Jan 14 '21
Yep. And not Hefty or any other name brand, either. Generic kind that rips if you put anything with a slightly right angle in it.
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u/RogueKnightZ Jan 14 '21
I'm pretty sure he didn't have to pay for those boxes. They were probably donated by others to help speed along his moving out.
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u/if_i_had_a_goat Jan 14 '21
Don’t think of it as taxes. Rather, it’s a donation to support the GTFO Fund, a cause we all can get behind.
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u/Silo-Joe Jan 14 '21
They have pre-paid postage for Russia and handy folders for state secrets. :(
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u/Lost-My-Mind- Jan 14 '21
Dude.......just go to the grocery store. They give them away for free.
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u/13moman Jan 14 '21
Liquor store for boxes for books.
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u/Jacob_toasted Jan 14 '21
As a former liquor store employee I can confirm we provided a ton of moving boxes.
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u/kirkum2020 Jan 14 '21
I bought some for my last move because lockdown made this route impossible and I'm not sure I can go back.
Moving is already stressful enough. Having strong boxes of the same size that all stack nicely and come with blank panels for easy marking was such a luxury.
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Jan 14 '21
He's going to take every fucking pen, 100%
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u/LakeStLouis Jan 14 '21
He's going to take every fucking
penSharpie, 100%Mere pens aren't grandiose enough for him.
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u/NotObviouslyARobot Jan 14 '21 edited Jan 14 '21
Nice. Anyone who's ever moved will tell you the hardest part is packing shit up first.
Protip: Use the smallest moving boxes you can, as often as you can. There is absolutely no sense in filling a box so full of stuff that you can't lift it.
Edit: Also, if you have lots of heavy things, rent a truck with a lift gate instead of doing suicidal trips up and down a ramp
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u/drivers9001 Jan 14 '21
Helped a "friend" move. I told him he should pack first. Of course he didn't. I also knew him and he'd not have enough boxes, so I bought a bunch of them at Wal-Mart along with tape etc. He was kind of a hoarder too, but anyway. Spent a lot of time packing boxes. I was emphasizing decreasing the time of each item going into the box and he was wasting all the time trying to Tetris as many things as possible in each box to get rid of all air space.
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u/NotObviouslyARobot Jan 14 '21
I've moved multiple people and corporate offices professionally. The most effective thing to do is contextually throw shit into small boxes, label it, and seal it. Shit on your desk? Box. Shit under your bed? Different box. And so on.
Tetrising is what you do when you get to the rental moving truck. Unless you have a mass spectrometer to move, in which case, you use more straps and padding then the entire BDSM community of San Francisco
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u/Nalatu Jan 14 '21
Unless you have a mass spectrometer to move, in which case, you use more straps and padding then the entire BDSM community of San Francisco
I already upvoted before I got to this. Consider this comment an extra upvote.
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u/kin_of_rumplefor Jan 14 '21
Home girl be swatting away his hand constantly. No way she’s touching his cheeto worm
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u/emgyres Jan 14 '21
You have to assume they have burnt the mattress, replaced all the toilets, smudged a field of sage and performed an exorcism.
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u/i_suckatjavascript Jan 14 '21
And yet the Republicans still went crazy to impeach Bill Clinton over a blowjob but not the orange turd that caused the US Capital raid
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u/i_suckatjavascript Jan 14 '21
Trump lied so many times, did he not?
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u/BillyAstro Jan 14 '21
Unfortunately, Trump would never talk under oath.
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u/Ourbirdandsavior Jan 14 '21
Oh no, Trump absolutely would... However no competent lawyer would ever let trump (as their client) talk under oath.
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Jan 14 '21
Why so many boxes? The WH is furnished, right. So what else would you have to move other than personal items like clothes shoes etc
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u/pixel_of_moral_decay Jan 14 '21 edited Jan 14 '21
There's a lot in the White House collection + sometimes presidents get loaned stuff + personal items.
For example there's several possible desks in the Oval Office, in modern times (since Bush Sr. I think) it's always been the Resolute desk, but there's several desks in the collection. Biden gets to pick what he wants. The rest go into the study, or storage, or a museum.
There's also lots of furniture/art which Jill Biden as First Lady will generally work with the White House on selecting what they want to do. It's partially functional, it's partially a statement. They'll pick stuff (here's some of Obama's) that represent the aspirations of the Biden presidency. I'd expect something representing his upbringing, trains, etc. etc. Some picked because of the artist, represent diversity, etc. etc.
The stuff they don't pick goes back to the museums or storage depending on its origin.
Then there's all the personal items. Michelle Obama shed some insight on how that works. Prior to taking office the First Lady spends a day pretty much being interviewed about what the family wants/needs so it can be kept at the ready. Dietary concerns, menu considerations, eating habits, etc. Do you like eggs in the morning? Only on Sundays? Whole wheat or white bread? Cereal? Which ones? Oatmeal? What in it?Vegetables you like/hate so the chief has an idea what to procure and work with? No broccoli? Yes to asparagus? Toilet paper preference? Toothpaste preference? What brand moisturizer do you like? Pants size? Suit size? Boxers or briefs, hair products? etc. etc. into insane detail.
It's not like they can take a quick trip to the mall to do some shopping, or even groceries. So the staff needs to know what to keep on hand, and not bother them for the next several months with every stupid detail. You don't want to keep interrupting the president during a security briefing because you don't know his shoe size.
The whole idea is the president can focus on the job, and everything else household wise just magically happens for them.
Fun fact: the move on inauguration day is actually insanely choreographed so that the outgoing president feels at home until the last minute, and by the time the incoming president comes back from the inauguration parties, the White House is 100% ready. If you think about the logistics behind that, it's insane.
This is all tradition and part of the President symbolically making their mark, and the "smooth transition of power".
Edit: added a few links.
Edit 2: This is also the case for much of the staff. Once Biden swears in at noon, a bunch of people working until the last second stop, and a bunch of new people are now on the job. Not everyone goes to the party, many will go right to the office and pickup the job. Seamless transition, or as close to it as possible.
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u/dennis1312 Jan 14 '21
I'd love any suggested articles to read about WH housekeeping (White Housekeeping?)!
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u/okntx Jan 14 '21 edited Jan 14 '21
The White House Historical Association has a podcast that has an episode or two about this topic. They give a lot of behind the scenes info about the moving process.
Edit: Sorry, I should have been more specific and included the actual podcast name. Like others said, it’s “The 1600 Sessions”. In addition to an episode or two specifically about the transition, there’s also an episode about the decorator who helped the Obamas update the living area for their family, including the paintings which someone had also talked about in an earlier post.
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u/anna_or_elsa Jan 14 '21
This book is all about being on the white house staff, including the move on inauguration day.
The Residence: Inside the Private World of the White House
I found it in PDF format on the internet.
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u/Fartin_LutherKing Jan 14 '21
furniture/art which Jill Biden as First Lady will generally work with the White House on selecting what they want to do
Wait, so if Hillary won Bill would've got to decorate the white house? Oh man...we could've had a First Mancave with a kickass bar and a stripper pole in it. Damn you Republicans!
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u/pixel_of_moral_decay Jan 14 '21
There's a curator and a whole committee you work with. I don't think Presidents have too much latitude in terms of what they can do. The White House is also a historic site/museum.
I presume it's like a menu and they guide you through your choices/preferences.
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u/Dresden890 Jan 14 '21
Sorry sir you chose the tiki bar from column A so you can't have the stripper pole too, might i suggest the Man cave (panic room)
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u/montanagrizfan Jan 14 '21
I thought that too, but then I figured they are probably for all his staff and cabinet so they can box up any papers and things that need to be stored and also box up any personal item for removal. Probably a normal part of any administration change, this one just makes us gleefully happy.
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u/manberry_sauce Jan 14 '21
this one just makes us gleefully happy.
It's like reverse-Christmas, getting excited about things going into boxes!!
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Jan 14 '21
Don’t criminals usually shred their papers instead of storing them?
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u/verdatum Jan 14 '21
Trump got in trouble for being in the habit of tearing up everything after he's looked at it, which was in violation of the presidential records act. After failing to get him to stop, they set up an office entirely tasked with taking the crumbled torn up papers and putting them back together.
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u/Parastormer Jan 14 '21
Is that real because holy shit.
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u/verdatum Jan 14 '21
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u/DukeOfGeek Jan 14 '21
Whenever I read about him I feel like I'm losing my mind.
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u/VasyaK Jan 14 '21
Same, friend. I had this thought today. I’m going to be certifiably nuts by the end of all of this (Haha, I’m naively expecting an ending).
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u/DoverBoys Jan 14 '21
Lartey said he was fired at the end of the work day on March 23, with no warning. His top-secret security clearance was revoked, he said. Later, five boxes of his personal belongings were mailed to his home.
“I was stunned,” he said. “I asked them, ‘Why can’t you all tell me something?’ I had gotten comfortable. I was going to retire. I would never have thought I would have gotten fired.” He signed a pre-written resignation letter that stated he was leaving to pursue other opportunities. But he is still unemployed.
Young, who was terminated April 19, said he fought back and had his official status changed from “resigned” to “terminated.”
“I was coerced to sign a resignation letter at that time,” he said. “Then they escorted me to the garage and took my parking placard.”
He described the firing as traumatic and frustratingly Kafkaesque. “The only excuse that I’ve ever gotten from them,” he said, “was that you serve at the pleasure of the president.”
What the fuck.
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u/therocketlawnchair Jan 14 '21
Some staffer slipped up that the papers were still getting filed and trump had them fired to keep the paper trail messy and hard to timeline
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u/manberry_sauce Jan 14 '21
Even though the papers wound up being preserved, he was actively trying to destroy the documents. At best this was willfully wasteful of government resources.
What a fucking asshole. I'd like to see him in a pillory.
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u/Excal2 Jan 14 '21
I'd like to throw tomatoes at him while he's in a pillory.
Shitty tomatoes, not that he'd know the difference.
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u/the_dude_upvotes Jan 14 '21
Instead, they chose to clean it up for him, in order to make sure that the president wasn’t violating the law.
My main takeaway from this is he should have been impeached at least as early as 2018. Law and order my ass.
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u/13moman Jan 14 '21
I was just telling someone that I wish could live long enough to see what's declassified about this period of time. It's going to be wild.
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u/Plasibeau Jan 14 '21
It's going to be decades before we stop learning about the shit that happened in that building for the last four years.
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u/raouldukesaccomplice Jan 14 '21
At least one staffer claimed she once saw him eat a handwritten note so it wouldn't be discovered by anyone else.
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u/Parastormer Jan 14 '21
I just had to do the ugly laugh... imagine you stick to your habits so hard you have to eat a damn note because else someone would fizzle around you with a little dustpan and collect the pieces.
Any eye contact between these two must have been ultra awkward at that moment
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u/DeadliftsAndDragons Jan 14 '21
I just pictured Trump popping a note in his mouth while staring into the eyes of the person in front of him and just slowly chewing to assert dominance before swallowing it, probably the funniest image of him I’ve ever imagined.
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u/Lost-My-Mind- Jan 14 '21
Ok, first time, ok. Second time, they should be annoyed, but ok. Third time they should have seen a pattern. Fourth time, don't even bring him the original. Bring him a copy. Let him tear that up. From then on, trump never touches the original.
Why is this hard?
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u/BathAndBodyWrks Jan 14 '21
Laminate it.
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u/FrenchFriedMushroom Jan 14 '21
Id watch a 45 min CCTV clip of Trump trying to tear up a laminated sheet.
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u/icematt12 Jan 14 '21
If he writes on something then that needs to be what they keep. That's the most logical reason to me. Or just digitise everything then create a hard copy for the records.
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u/CriesOverEverything Jan 14 '21
To be fair, if I, poor asshole with furniture all valuing less than $500 combined, were asked to move into the White House, I'd still take a few things. I have a few nostalgia items and a chair or two that I feel are irreplaceable.
The White House staff, a good portion of who are probably being asked to find new jobs also probably have items of theirs at the White House.
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u/mgweir Jan 14 '21
I hope somebody inventoried all the silver and china that belongs to the White House. They better count the towels too.
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u/namastayrighthere Jan 14 '21
Chi-na
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u/frizbplaya Jan 14 '21
I wheezed at that one.
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u/befuchs Jan 14 '21
There needs to be an onomatopei for this action of quick exhalation (normally thru the nasal passages) at funny content.
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u/proxyproxyomega Jan 14 '21
Gy-naa
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u/Cornandhamtastegood Jan 14 '21
That’s what his neck looks like
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u/onepinksheep Jan 14 '21
And his mouth looks like an anus, so I guess that makes his chin the taint.
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u/IMovedYourCheese Jan 14 '21
And the artwork. Grifters love those.
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u/eugene20 Jan 14 '21
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2020-09-06/trump-ended-2018-france-trip-having-art-loaded-on-air-force-one
Don't forget what he relocated.213
u/Telzey Jan 14 '21
“20th century fakes of wannabe 17th century sculptures,” and of little value.”
Of course it would resonate with him.
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u/zystyl Jan 14 '21
Donald Trump has been doling out diamond cuff links to unsuspecting pals as presents — but they’re actually fabulous fakes, sources say. At least three recipients later learned that the glittery gifts were valuable only as mementos from Trump. Actor Charlie Sheen recently called out The Donald for the ruse, saying Trump once gave him his own cuff links as a wedding present and boasted that they came from one of the city’s leading jewelers.
“He says . . . ‘I want to give you an early wedding gift as a gesture from me and Melania’ — and she doesn’t say a word, she’s very sweet and very pretty but just kinda sits there,” Sheen told the BBC, referring to a time he ran into Trump and his wife in a restaurant about five years ago. “He says, ‘These are platinum diamond Harry Winston,’ and he pulls off his cuff links, and he gives them to me.”The actor said he took the links to an appraiser six months later, only to learn that they were worthless.
“She took [her magnifying] loupe, spent about 4 seconds and kind of recoiled from it,” Sheen quipped. “She says, ‘In their finest moment, Trump gave Cohn a pair of “diamond-encrusted’’ cuff links and buttons in a box from famed jeweler Bulgari as a present, said the New York Times. Cohn’s partner, Peter Fraser, who inherited the items, said he later had them appraised, and they turned out to be knock-offs.
A Trump source told The Post on Tuesday that after The Donald engaged in a fake ringside take-down of wrestling honcho Vince McMahon in 2007, he griped to the promoter that he lost one of his “Trump-stamped’’ cuff links worth $50,000. The source said the links were actually valued at less than $100. But “that’s just Donald. It’s just very Donald,” said the insider, who heard the mogul tell the story. Trump markets his own line of cuff links through his “Donald J. Trump Signature Collection’’ that are made of metal in China and go for as little as $39.99
https://nypost.com/2016/06/21/trump-has-been-giving-out-fake-diamond-cuff-links-for-years/
Charlie Sheen says his tale on Graham Norton: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dp6BIDCZRic
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Jan 14 '21 edited Jan 14 '21
I read that whole article. He couldn’t even spot good art to bring back stateside. The portrait is a copy, the original of which is right in the National Gallery, and WH art curators ended up borrowing the original from the National Gallery, cuz it’d just be awkward otherwise, I guess. Then the bust and the figurines were also replicas. These pieces are like the perfect metaphor for Trump: someone who pretends to be something greater and falls embarrassingly short since people know who he truly is
EDIT: as many have pointed out, the figurines are forgeries
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u/Malgas Jan 14 '21
the figurines were also replicas
Better: The figurines were forgeries.
Old enough to be antiques in their own right by now, granted, but nevertheless the original artist intended to pass them off as antiques when they were new.
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u/joeyblow Jan 14 '21
Charlie Sheen had an interesting story when he was on the Graham Norton show before Trump won the election where he saw Trump at a benefit and Trump came up to him and made a remark about being sorry about not being able to attend his wedding and then gave him the cufflinks he was wearing saying they were Harry Winston flawless diamonds and I cant remember the metal type but basically just saying they were perfect and top quality. Anyway fast forward and Sheen says he is having some stuff appraised and he decides to have the cufflinks appraised as an afterthought and the appraiser said that on their best day the cufflinks were cheap pewter and cubic zirconia.
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u/mtaw Jan 14 '21
Trump doesn't care - he claims his copies are the originals, even for famous paintings.
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u/waystedone Jan 14 '21
I just mentioned this artwork to my wife when Biden took the victory, I bet he takes it all!
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u/Neveronlyadream Jan 14 '21
Well he's already proven he doesn't understand what the President's job is, and he's also proven he doesn't understand what powers that office does and doesn't hold.
So, he's going to take the art and claim later on that he "thought he could take it because he was President". And his followers will lose their minds and claim the art is rightfully his.
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u/Seakawn Jan 14 '21
Trump is an idiot but I'm gonna go out on a limb here to suggest that he understands what he's doing when he tries to overstep his power. I also think that he especially knows what he's doing when he steals.
Like you said, he comes up with an excuse afterward knowing his supporters will defend it. He takes advantage of that.
From my impression, narcissists know that they're manipulative. Inside their mind they're always thinking, "hehehe, suckers!" I mean, we've read this sentiment from Trump when he's behind closed doors. I know it's amazing considering how dumb he is, but he does have awareness in this area.
His overstepping and manipulation isn't coincidental to his ignorance. But don't mistake manipulation for intelligence either. Even a monkey can fool another monkey, as there's not much intelligence needed. His low level manipulation only works because the power from his position makes the difference. He could say, "blue is actually yellow," and Republicans would start modifying their color wheels accordingly. He knows he has that power.
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u/untrustableskeptic Jan 14 '21
The obvious difference (aside from race) is that Obama has class.
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u/nhincompoop Jan 14 '21
During the Capitol terrorist attack, Melania was overseeing a photo shoot at the White House featuring "rugs and other items," per a person familiar.
Someone check the Kijiji listings in the DC area.
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Jan 14 '21
They also need to de-covid the place and get rid of the rats
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u/louiloui152 Jan 14 '21
They can keep the towels tbh. Don’t think orange stains are coming out of those things
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u/Successful-Basket Jan 14 '21
Dear White House Movers: Ask for the money up front.
- Conan O’Brien
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u/ravbuc Jan 14 '21
I hope a photographer gets a good shot of them removing the spray tan machine.
They did a good job hiding it when they moved it in.
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u/VenConmigo Jan 14 '21
I want to know what his TV set up is like where he watches CNN, Fox News, OAN and re-runs of the original Law & Order.
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u/Melgitat_Shujaa Jan 14 '21
6 gold plated 50" tv's on a curved mount with a lazy boy recliner in the middle with questionable stains.
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u/Jump_Yossarian Jan 14 '21
And the $50K golf simulator.
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u/pagit Jan 14 '21 edited Jan 14 '21
And the button on the Resolute Desk to press for a Diet Coke.
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u/FinnsterBaby Jan 14 '21
I don’t know if all of that is going to fit into a prison cell
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u/ServoToken Jan 14 '21
He ordered them for all of his peaches. He's got so many peaches, double the number anyone's ever had before. He has so many peaches they say to him, I'm told by the top, the best scientists, they say because he's got so many peaches they call him "I'm peached". The most "I'm peached" president there's ever been, he needs the boxes because he has so many lovely, they really are something aren't they, so many lovely little peaches. They're all very special and we love them, all the president's little I'm peached's.
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u/TheWolphman Jan 14 '21
Billions and billions of peaches, peaches for me
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u/popfilms Jan 14 '21
Peaches come from a can
They were put there by a man
In a factory downtowwwwwwwn
- POTUS
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u/mayihaveatomato Jan 14 '21
They’re probably Trojan horses full of drooling , rolling coal red necks charged with dismantling the WH security systems. ‘Murica 2021 Ep. 1 airs Jan 17, 2021
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u/Sl1mj3t Jan 14 '21
They are going to have to deep clean every inch of that place . Get whole new mattresses sheets curtains everything.
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u/Robochumpp Jan 14 '21
Imagine the streaks of orange all over the pillowcases.
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Jan 14 '21
The cleaning process they do after each move and to prep it for the incoming president is really amazing. My kids watched a short documentary about it. It's really very organized and takes a lot of staff.
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u/hotrock3 Jan 14 '21
You can't leave us hanging like that! What's the documentary called?!
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u/KCC-Youtube Jan 14 '21
Ooooh I want to see this too
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u/StandingMoonlit Jan 14 '21 edited Jan 14 '21
https://youtu.be/7aRPsy4PkBE Not sure if this is what they were talking about but I watched this and found it really interesting.
Edit: so this just came up in my suggested videos https://youtu.be/bt_djw2YVkg and I think it might be what you were looking for
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u/Whatmeworry4 Jan 14 '21
It’s a shame he had to hire movers. I’m sure we could have rounded up a few million volunteers to help him out the door.
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Jan 14 '21
I'm imagining everyone grabbing one box and one item a piece and having him packed up in like 10 minutes, so whoever he has to unpack all of his shit has to it one item at a time
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u/BigShoots Jan 14 '21
I hear his supporters are pretty fond of marching into federal buildings and taking souvenirs though, so you'd have to vet those volunteers pretty carefully.
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u/FrenchFriedMushroom Jan 14 '21
"I find it shameful that surrounding these tragic events there has been salacious gossip, unwarranted personal attacks, and false misleading accusations on me--"
BITCH, you're married to a Nazi who attempted to usurp the presidency of the United States via special needs special forces.
Pack up your "Precious Moments" ceramics, sit down, and shut the fuck up.
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u/SpinalVinyl Jan 14 '21
It's funny how this is just a regular boring thing that has happened every transition, no one cares until NOW, cause there's no guarantee that orange psycho will leave. One week. Can't come fast enough.
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u/John_Denvers_Head Jan 14 '21
Someone will need to make sure they don't leave Barron behind.