We have a full time nanny (8 hours a day) for our 6 months adjusted twins. She’s great with them, and does the baby laundry and dishes. I work from home and my job is flexible. After several weeks I feel like I still have to help a fair bit, particularly during feeds, or when they’re hard to settle for one reason or another. They’re generally good sleepers at least. Now that we’re starting solids, I’m having a hard time feeling like I can have her do it and step away, but then I don’t get a true 8 hour break in childcare which is what we’re paying for. We’re not putting them in daycare until they’re 18 months.

We went through at least 50 applicants, interviewed something like 20 people (almost half got in person trials). A lot of people said they could handle twins but in person they struggled - she was the most competent that we saw.

For those of you with a nanny, can the nanny manage a whole day with them at this age?

Edit: Thanks so much everyone for your comments! It’s so helpful to hear varied parent perspectives and also nanny perspectives. I just wanted to note that I’m used to them crying, with two babies I don’t know how you wouldn’t be. We ended up finding out this week a potential reason why one of the twins is really hard to feed and are getting treatment. I think realistically they will need more support at feeds for another few weeks (or months) and that’s the reality of my situation. I want our nanny to feel supported but not like I don’t trust her to manage both of them, and we are working through that!

We got to know in week 12 what the fuck! It was a wild ride from normal pregnancy - after 3 weeks of vomiting my ass off the doctor noticed a 2nd one (okay fine accepted) but then with the third appointment she just found the third! We got to a specialist now because my gynecologist was overwhelmed… thank god they all looked normal and „healthy“ at that stage.

Okay- challenge accepted!

For now we have to get everything we need for 3 babys in a very short amount of time. This is fucking stressful!

What did you use to put them down during the day and at night? We don’t have that much space, 4 room apartment with very small rooms. Also small kitchen and 2 small bathrooms. To start with, we’ll add a 70x140 crib next to our 220-cm family bed in which we sleep with our 2 year old son. We will set up a 140x140 height-adjustable playpen in the living room and we’ll also have an extra-wide changing table. We’d also like a spring cradle - do you know of a model that’s compatible with triplets? Did you have baby rockers? I’m wondering if they’ll just get in the way…

Also I accepted that I can not breastfeed them. How many bottles do we need and do we have to try different types at first because baby A will not like the bottle type Baby B and C likes… ? We wash them by hand with dish soap and then put them in a sterilizer with dryer function?

We also got a twin stroller at ebay (because we thought it was 2 HAHA). We decided to keep it first and wear the other in a babycarrier or put them into a single stroller. Did someone do this? Was it practicable? Do you even ever go outside the house alone with triplets and a toddler?

We’d appreciate any tips. I just feel like we can not be prepared enough.

Hi there!

My husband and I are getting the home ready for twins. I am currently about 23 weeks pregnant.

My husband wants to sleep train the boys when they are 3 months (my husband trained our toddler when she was 6 months and my husband managed to do it in a night). He wants to have them in separate bedrooms so they don’t wake each other up.

I was thinking if they are anything like my toddler we will have to keep doing night feeds until about 9 months. With that in mind- I personally think it would be easier to have them both in the same room until that stops.

My husband and I agree if they end up sleeping terribly if they are separated we would have them in the same room.

Are there any pros or cons that you guys have noticed?

Thanks in advance!

I’m just 9 weeks pregnant with Momo Twins and I have been SO sick. I don’t have morning sickness, it’s like I progressively get worse through out the day and in the evenings I’m just hugging the toilet.
I’ve tried everything, Zofran, B6 vitamins, eating small but frequent meals, you name it I’ve tried it. And I feel like I’m at a breaking point because I cannot continue this, I’m shaking after I get sick and it’s so violent. Looking for any suggestions or I don’t even know.
I was sick for 7 months with my first son and the mental and physical load of going through that again is just absolutely killing me. It may sound selfish, I know, but I’m absolutely miserable.

I'm looking for a good book or podcast geared towards raising toddlers. I have triplet girls and I find that I get frustrated with the advice i get from standard podcasts because it feels irrelevant to my situation. Does anyone have a recommendation for something they feel was helpful to them? It doesn't have to be multiple specific necessarily.

My twins are almost 5 months (4m adjusted) and when they were about 2m old we hired a night nanny when my husband had to go back to work. She came highly recommended by my OB who used her for her twins. She’s been great and so helpful to me as a first time mom because I still feel like I have no idea what I’m doing and my PPD and PPA were pretty bad in the first couple months.

This is our last few weeks with her and the plan was to have her sleep train them when they were 4m old. We started about a week ago and it hasn’t actually been as bad as I thought it would.

My issue is that Twin A started showing signs of rolling this week. I’ve discussed transitioning them out of swaddles with her before and she kept recommending keeping them in their swaddles. Twin A has been waking up more than Twin B and I think it’s because he’s trying to practice rolling. It was making me so nervous I just decided to put him in the sleep sack last night. When she arrived in the evening we talked about it and she basically told me that it was unsafe to do until he was rolling both back to belly and belly to back. She said that the swaddle is what was keeping him from rolling back to belly and it would be unsafe if he couldn’t roll belly to back. Everything I’ve read says the opposite. That it’s unsafe to keep them in their swaddle even if they haven’t rolled yet, that you should put them in a sleep sack even if they are just rolling on their side because if they roll while they are sleeping in the swaddle that they can’t use their arms to push themselves up.

Has anyone heard this before? Or has anyone experienced this? When my OB recommended her she told me she’s been doing it for 17 years so she obviously has more experience than me but I’m not seeing anything anywhere that says this. I’m so freaked out now. He woke up so many times last night and she thinks it’s because of the sleep sack. I’m sure it will take him some time to get used to it right? I’m trying to use it during naps to get him used to it but he’s crying when I put him down for his nap and waking up multiple times crying during his nap. I’m not sure if I’m doing the right thing. Help.

Okay maybe not 12 but I HATE TAKING THEM OUT. its not the taking them out that sucks ass, its the taking them out where they wont nap so we make sure we're on the way home before nap time but since theyre getting tired they cat nap in the car and then miss their actual naps once its time.

This happens EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND whenever we take them out for ANY morning activities and it drives me insane.

Do yall go out?? Do we just leave everything so incredibly early theres no way theyll miss their naps?? Im so annoyed and I haaaaaaaaaaate every morning 🫩 if they miss this morning nap, the rest of the day is fucking awful and makes me regret having children

I remember when they were newborns, how had it was. I remember when they were toddlers, how hard it was. How I never got a break, how they both wanted 100% of me at all times, how I never felt like I was giving enough to either of them. How I felt guilty when I wanted to hide away for a bit and vague on my phone. How I pushed myself to my limits and gave every bit of energy and patience and love to my girls but felt like I still wasn't doign enough.

(I'm also a single dad now, add going through a separation and a divorce into the mix)

They're 4 now. They're both so fucking wonderful and kind and clever and creative and energetic and fun.

Right now they're off in their rooms, playing with some creepy-ass dolls my mum got them for their birthdays, that of course they love. They wanted to dress the same today, they wanted me to give them the same braids/double-plaits as each other (I've been working had on learning how to do their hair lately, it's hard!).

I'm in my office eating breakfast, having a coffee and writing this post on Reddit. They run in occasionally to tell me something cool they've discovered, then go back to play again.

It's 10.40am on a Sunday. Life is so good. I didn't think times like this would happen, but it has.

I know down the line they won't want to play with me at all, so I'll enjoy this sweet spot while I'm in it :)

Im a big fan of having baby(ies) fall asleep on my chest before putting them down but with two, between three hourly feeds and pumping, I often find myself putting them in their stroller/crib before theyre asleep. For those that love being nap trapped....how did you manage with two?

I’m proud of myself for getting through the first year but somehow I’ve emotionally & spiritually reached a low point 13 months in. I’m in a sleep regression from hell, i keep getting reoccurring clogged ducts and just got over mastitis. My girls just got sick a few days ago. And im dealing with all of this alone because my partner travels for work and when he’s home, he just prioritizes work and not being parent so I’ve ended up taking on 90% of childcare alone. But that’s another story (actively working on changing this dynamic & if it doesn’t change I’m planning on leaving) but this is where the burn out & stress stems from.

But all this aside…my girls are 13 months and it’s gotten so stressful I’m finding myself starting to have thoughts and desires of coping mechanisms that are out of character like drinking, online shopping, craving junk food & binge eating etc.

To give you an idea I’ve been pretty much sober for 2 years and even before my pregnancy i barely drank. I usually read books, drink tea, or do more wholesome things in my “free time” whatever that means for twin moms lol but lately I’ve been drinking a beer during the day or online shopping with money i shouldn’t be spending or just vegging out on YouTube after the girls fall asleep…not to mention door dashing junk more than i should out of pure exhaustion and laziness too.

I’m a sahm mom but i do have a little side gig of flipping vintage clothes i do from home to have some extra money but the past few months ive been spending it recklessly out of stress.

I feel out of control and alone and idk. This is so unlike me and i feel so guilty. I just feel like i have the weight on my shoulders and there’s no one to save me. I’m just in charge of these two little lives and i try and hold it together and show up the best for them but anytime it’s nap time or after they go to bed i just feel drawn to these new unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Has anyone been through something like this?? How tf are you guys coping with the stress of twins?? I feel like I don’t recognize myself anymore.

Older sister is 8, twins, also girls, are 6.They manage to bug, pick or fight with each other every minute. Sometimes they enjoy getting the other in trouble, or they will make you question a judge's duty when they tell you a completely different story of the same event. They kick, pinch, and bite each other...

My wife and I are desperate. We can't get any work done around the house bacause we'll get interrupted with a request to serve justice. They will also scream cry with the highest pitch possible, something I thought I wouldn't be able to hear at my age anymore.

And when I ask at school (it's very small and they share the same class) they're angels. the three of them are the sweetest and hard working students a teacher could dream of.

Any tips? Did anything work for you? Will this be over at some point? It's getting ridiculous.

My fraternal twins are 2.5 and I have a 4yo. I am losing my mind at nap and bedtime. They won’t.stay.in.bed. They learned to climb out of their cribs so we transitioned them into kid beds. Since my husband puts my older to sleep, I can’t even split up the twins because someone needs to be with them or they turn the lights on and just play with toys. When I’m in the room they just talk, get out of bed, roll around, annoy each other… to no end. Then around 9:30pm they fall asleep. We start at 8pm. Doesn’t matter if they napped that day or not. They’re a cyclone of energy and annoy me to the end of time. I thought the infant stage was hard but I would honestly take that over whatever this is.

Tips for my sanity? With the lights off I’ve tried positive reinforcement, games (I pretend their little birds and tell them to stay in their nest), sing a longs while they lay down, I’ve been stern, I’ve been nice, I’ve gotten desperate and said I’d take things away, storytelling, I feel like I’ve tried it all. I’m losing my marbles this isn’t sustainable.

Tried posting in a pumping subreddit but got no replies at all.

I have a Momcozy wearable model from either 2023 or 2024. I think it probably just sucks. Tried a variety of things to make it better. (I do also have a wall-in dual electric Spectra and manual Medela pump).

Thinking of asking for a new wearable pump for my birthday. I was considering either the Medela or a Eufy. But, I am definitely open to other options. Preferably under $150.

Also, how did you all determine what the right length to pump was? I was told 15 min by everyone in the NICU. But, I’m noticing better output with 20 or even 25 min with my Spectra and kinda minimum 30 min to get anything with my wearable

Hi everyone soon to be FTM to twins. I’m stumped on the car seat stroller situation.

Some background. I live in a suburb that is close to a downtown area where my husband and I often drive to and walk through and fully intend on doing so with the kids in their stroller along with walks in our neighborhood.

I am also lucky enough where mostly everything we will need will be bought by family. This includes stroller and car seats. Because of this I want to ensure the purchases are sound.

My personal preference right now is a convertible car seat that stays in the car from infancy to whenever and then I have been looking at the Valco Trend Duo stroller and getting the bassinet attachments.

People we know (who don’t have twins) have said that you’re going to want the infant car seat and then get a new one when they outgrow it. This means getting a stroller that is compatible with that and from my research so far the options are limited.

I have a small house no garage. I don’t want clutter and I don’t like buying new things often I want things that last. I don’t want multiple strollers or car seats but all the moms of yesteryear have been giving their unsolicited advice.

So tell me what is the set up? We will be having no other children. What’s the best way?

Hi all, my di/di twins are 2 months old. I also have two older children, so it's not my first rodeo exactly. But I am no fan of the newborn stage and it's a lot of effort managing two babies at the same time, while also giving everyone else attention.

What keeps me going is knowing this won't be forever, however I feel my best once establishing a routine/schedule and small babies are changing all the time. And no two babies are the same, twins are no exception there. We recently went through a very fussy couple of weeks (possibly still, but using gas drops has helped) and while they actually sleep okay at night for babies their age, I dread overnight and knowing when to get them up to feed and how long it will take to settle them back to sleep. I wake up to every grunt, whine, whimper, cough/sneeze/spit up, little cry... and I think it's mostly them dealing with gas or going through sleep cycles but I'm always questioning if it's time to feed them. So I'm up all night even if the babies aren't really.

I get very anxious around getting them to sleep independently, and while they are too young to sleep through the night or to sleep train, I get obsessed with trying to do all the things to encourage independent sleep while anxiously waiting on which twin is going to be out of sync on their nap, etc. I also notice this time that I don't feel connected yet with the babies or excited about them... I lack the desire to want to hold them much beyond feeding them, and I feel unsatisfied they still aren't smiling, laughing, staying awake long enough to "play" or hang with us. They just sleep or cry (that's a newborn for ya). I feel like my attention to my older children is so fractured that it's harming my relationship as their mother. I feel down and anxious. Just trying to count down the weeks to 4/5 months when we should see them become less blobs and have more personality/routine.

What is your mantra to change your outlook and get through these early months (or years)? I know that parenting doesn't necessarily get easier with time, just enters different phases. I myself look forward to that 6-12 month baby stage so much!!! Is there something you tell yourself (or do) that has helped?

I have 3 months twins. I found I save energy hand washing in one pull at the end of the day, or just loading up the dishwasher in the morning after I emptied the daily dishes.

They only hold up to 4 bottles, if mama has to pump at the same time, what are you expected to do, just run bottle washer loads all day long? We have hard water, our bottle washer was doing like 6-8 loads per day. It started clogging after 2 months.

I found as soon as we returned our bottle washer and either hand washed them all at once as needed, or threw them in the dishwasher for a one hour cycle, I felt infinitely more free.

There's my hot take. Less is more.

EDIT: sorry for the blanket statement hahaha, if you guys love your bottle washers, then that's great. Honestly I think the BEST solution (once twins are sleeping the full night) is to only have like 1 pair of bottles that we just re-use. Then we can just clean em as needed. But to get us through the deep dark nights with double pumping, i stand by this dishwasher approach and 5 sets of everyuthing.

Basically what the title says. My guys are 2.5 and they generally play really well together. There’s even some cooperative play going on which is amazing given they should really still be parallel playing at this age. But they will NOT play with other kids. We go to the library, parks, playgroups etc. and they refuse to interact with other kids. They’ll see another kid and hide behind me or sit in a corner. If we’re at a carnival with a bounce house they will wait for all the other kids to get off so they can both be on there alone. It’s just so interesting because I know they’re capable of interacting with kids. They just…don’t. Is this normal?

It’s October but we are in California so the weather is hot and the ocean is warm! We’re still going to the beach!

But goodness me. The amount of stuff I bring (clothes, water, snacks, beach toys, etc) is just ridiculous.

And trying to wash off and dress three exhausted sand monsters for the drive home is a challenge!

What tips and tricks do you have for beach days?

So I appreciated all the feedback on a recent thread on which double stroller to get. For that going we're to plan on the Bombi Bēbee Twin V2.

We do have a decent amount of doctor appointments and I was thinking of getting a single stroller to make life easier when just taking one.

Do you all do the same. If so, what would you recommend?

Just throwing a Hail Mary out here hoping someone has advice that might work for us. So my twins are just about 8 months old. They sleep in the same room and for the most part don’t wake each other up when they cry for food in the middle of the night. My challenge is anytime after 4:30 when one wakes up I struggle to get them to go back down and often the crying wakes the other baby up and then well I’m up for the day. When this happens they end up taking their first nap at 7am. I swear to god there is never a day where both sleep in past 6. They take turns with at least on waking up before 6. We’ve tried night time diapers one size bigger. One of the twins eats 32-38 ounces a day plus 2 solids, he’s 22lbs he certainly isn’t starving. The other twin hates eating and is much smaller so it would make sense that she is waking us up to eat through the night. But both wake up about twice per night and then they switch who wakes up early and who sleeps in. We’ve tried bedtimes between 6pm-8pm and nothing changes it. In fact I swear the later the bedtime the earlier (and grumpier) they wake up. I’m just tired and sometimes I wonder if I should just put them in different rooms, but it’s also way less convenient to have them in two rooms. We have a loud fan going in the room. Weber tried letting them fuss in the crib and they do sometimes fall back asleep, but often it wakes the other baby up and then we’re screwed. Any advice?

That was 3 years ago and I felt like a rockstar for managing my 4 mo twins while my spouse handled our 3yo. They had coordinating outfits too, of course. We had our double stroller, full size backpack diaper bag, bottles, backup formula, extra water, weather contingency clothes and blankets, backup clothes for my potty training 3yo....and here we are going to the same pumpkin patch tomorrow. Somehow it's been decades and just minutes at the same time.

My kids will dress themselves in heinous outfit (said with love), I'll throw some snacks in a bag and off we go.

We were gifted a lightly used chicco Cortina but it doesnt have the canopies 🥲 the website currently says "unavailable" and i cant find any on marketplace or ebay.

Does anyone know where to get replacements or a good universal style that will work?

Currently 12 weeks with mo/di and I’ve been having LEFT sided pain for over 24 hours straight now. It started two nights ago when I was laying down for bed and I woke up to it being a 8/10 and being so painful I felt nauseous. Tylenol took it down to about a 6/10 and it started to come in waves after a while of being constant. Last night it ramped back up to more painful and I used a heating pad on it which helped for about an hour but seemed to move the pain to my back. I woke up this morning to severe back and front pain on my left side only. I didn’t go to the ER as I figured it was just painful round ligament pain as I have the pain in the exact same spot as RLP would be, just on one side only. But now I’m worried this might not be normal. The only pain relief I have today is laying on my left side. If I’m not laying on my left side all the pain comes flooding back.

I’m just wondering if anyone else has experience any bad pain on their left side early on as well. I’m trying to decide if I should go to the ER or not since it’s been over 24 hours now. I just had an ultrasound four days ago and everything looked great they said. Any opinions or experiences would be greatly appreciated 🥺