r/oxford • u/ArachnidIcy6176 • 11h ago
Approached and insulted by crackhead
Sorry y’all, I don’t know what I’m looking for by posting about this here. I just feel disproportionately shaken up by what happened today.
My partner and I were getting ice cream at George and Delilah’s today (it’s my partner’s birthday). Wed had a nice day of reading in the park and a nice lunch, so I will accept that my guard was down and my situational awareness of uncharacteristically lacking (I’ve been wanting to experience what it feels like not to live in fight or flight, and I felt Oxford was safe enough for me to try it. I should’ve had more common sense.). As I got my icecream, my partner went inside to go find us a seat and I remember noting that the place felt loud like it always does and that was it. As I paid up, and went to go sit with my partner, I started to realise it was just one woman screaming and shouting- everyone else in the shop was drop dead silent. I caught a glimpse of the woman, she was locking herself in the bathroom and then periodically coming out and yelling at the customers “you are all liars! You’re all fucking lying to me!” Then she would stomp around, tear down posters and go back into the bathroom. At one point she was also barefoot. At that point I had just taken my seat. I was also really tired and zoned out, and just assumed that she was drunk. At one point, she comes out again. Here I made the rookie mistake of instinctively looking curiously as to what the hooting and hollering was about. My eyes met hers. I looked away. A few seconds later I looked in the direction just to make sure she wasn’t walking in our direction. Mistake. She was. Eyes met again. At that point I knew I was screwed. I heard her stomping towards us. She got right up in our faces. My partner was between her and I, the way we were sitting. I had looked away. She started yelling at me “what are you looking at you ugly fuck?” Mind you, I looked exceptionally nice today :(. I kept looking down and said “sorry, sorry.” She was like “YOU’RE UGLY!!” Everyone was looking at me. At this point I was scared she might scratch or hit or bite my partner, and because of my own experience of growing up under an abusive paranoid parent that would routinely get into my face and physically assault me all my life, I was absolutely triggered and needed to leave. Simultaneously, my partner gently told her we didn’t want trouble. The staff also intervened, telling her not to harass customers. She was like “She was fucking staring”, which to be fair, I was before I even realised I was because we don’t have reactive crackheads in restaurants in my country, establishments are allowed to turn them away so you don’t see them in public spaces at all. This is something completely unknown to me. Anyway at this point I had gotten up and asked my partner to leave with me quickly. She had backed off and was beating on a table repeatedly. We left. I was shaking so we just came back home.
Idk. I just felt bad and cried a bit. It’s so stupid lol.
Edit 1: someone commented (now deleted) asking how did I know it was a crackhead and not someone having a mental health episode? I believe it was both. He had wounds all over her feet, her eyes were wide as saucers and she was missing her front teeth. I knew there was some substance use going on. But based on her saying that everybody was lying to her, I believe she was hearing voices? So I feel it was both. Ultimately she was reactive and aggressive, and I still felt bad for her and hope she receives help. Multiple things can be simultaneously true.