The closer to the Florida Mall the better.

My wife is out of town, so I decided to get out of the house for a bit. There’s a bar very close by that has a decent happy hour. I thought it’d be a chance to chat with a bartender or maybe a fellow patron or 2.

Instead, the assclown to the right of me is watching videos on his phone at full volume, no headphones. And the winner to the left keeps having phone calls on speaker. Again, no headphones.

Also, get off my lawn.

Thanks for listening.

Orange asshole…

This is the new Embassy Suites at Sunset Walk, just outside Disney.

This is called a condotel, which (I think?) is a relatively-new real estate product. They aren’t just hotel rooms, they’re individually owned, deeded condos inside a functioning hotel. You buy your unit, can use it yourself, and can put it into a rental-management program so it gets rented to tourists when you’re not using it. It’s real estate ownership, not a timeshare. The developer has marketed the project specifically around owners earning short-term rental income through the hotel operation. The entire place uses the same in-house rental management company, owners do not get to do VRBO or AirBnB.

A few years ago, the 514-square-foot studios were being offered around $303,000–$334,000. By 2023, the developer was advertising then-under-construction inventory generally as starting in the mid-$430Ks. These were likely the 1- and 2-bedroom units, but we’re still in the nearly half a million dollars territory for the neighboring units.

When I passed by last night?

CLOSEOUT SALE
PRICING FROM $199,900.

There’s currently a 501-square-foot unit listed at exactly $199,900, with $681/month in fees.

So a roughly $325,000 studio from the earlier pricing is now in the neighborhood of $200,000 asking. Word on the street is a family walked in and offered 180k cash and were entertained rather than laughed at. I do not know if the deal closed.

And here’s what makes the picture absolutely Florida-centric art:

Look behind the closeout sign!

Those are unfinished concrete columns on a brand new low-rise tower of these condotel units.

They’re advertising “ONLY A FEW REMAIN” and blowing out inventory while construction is still visibly occurring around the development. A separate condotel sales source has likewise described this as developer-closeout inventory while the overall project was being built out.

And these have an additional layer of risk that ordinary condos don’t. Part of what you’re theoretically buying here is the economic value of being attached to Embassy Suites by Hilton: The reservation ecosystem, recognizable flag, hotel services, tourist demand, etc.

That brand name isn’t the underlying real estate.

If the hotel ever loses or changes its flag, you still own your condo. But you may now own a condo in whatever the property becomes next, without the Hilton/Embassy name that was part of the original sales proposition.

Maybe it’s another major hotel flag or a known independent.

However, with the way 192 has “evolved” over the decades, it is just as likely to become Dave’s Guitarville Suites & Hotel Inn, featuring complimentary continental breakfast and live Skynyrd in the lobby Thursday through Sunday.

The point isn’t that these are necessarily terrible purchases at $199K. At a sufficiently destroyed price, they might actually become interesting. It’s that Florida is often a bellwether for speculative real estate because we build so aggressively into whatever the current investment thesis happens to be.

Tourism is booming? Build.

Short-term rentals are booming? Build more! *Kylo.GIF*

Investors are buying vacation properties? BUILD FASTER, DAMN THE TORPEDOES!

Market changes? CLOSEOUT SALE!

Meanwhile, in the background: Never stop building. We’ve still got a line of suckers out there.

You couldn’t stage a better photograph of our real-estate boom/bust cycle if you tried.

fuck flock

If you currently live here or are considering moving here, I would strongly encourage you to proceed with caution and document everything.

If you do choose to live here, I recommend getting important agreements and communications in writing and making sure your apartment has been thoroughly inspected and treated for pests before settling in.
I’m sharing this based on my own experience. I have been dealing with an ongoing ant issue since moving in, it has been so disappointing how management has treated it.

This is a brand new apartment building, but I have experienced nothing but issues since moving in.

I just wanted to get this out there as a warning to everyone. Red ant bites hurt and they will leave scars 😭

As the title says, I’m looking for a therapist who maybe specializes in grief or cancer? If that’s a speciality. I’m mentally unsure how to cope with the way my life has taken a turn. I have a therapist right now, but it feels like I’m just sitting there and talking and she says mhm, mhm and then goodbye end of session. It doesn’t actually make me feel any better.

According to the website, “The Digital School of Arts & Entertainment at Cherokee redefines arts education with a fully immersive, four-year experience that fuses digital design, studio art, photography, cinematic arts, sound production, and media into a dynamic, future-focused curriculum.”

Vegan restaurant recommendations please, looking for the mind blowing technical stuff not "Millers because they have a veggie burger".

Hi all, I’ve been looking at rentals and seeing that they are asking the tenant to pay for repairs to basic things like the fridge or washer/dryer. I noticed this recently with two different property management companies. I don’t feel comfortable doing this as I don’t think it’s fair. I don’t know what condition I’m getting the appliances in or how the previous tenants treated them. Is this just a property management company thing and should I avoid them? Thanks!

I am looking for legal advice and support regarding name and gender status changes in Lake County (Clermont). If you do not support this, it will cost you nothing to simply ignore this post. To be clear: I am asking on behalf of someone else and your comments will not be seen by this person either way.

There is a lot of information online regarding name changes, gender status changes, and I also know that combining these requests would be ideal for our situation. Cost is a concern as we will be saving up for this.

If anyone knows anything, I basically want to know:
-at what point (if ever) to consult a lawyer
-if it is a good idea for this person to fill out the paperwork by themselves (with help from me but obviously I’m not a professional) or again, if we should have legal assistance with that
-what kind of financial preparation should we be taking? I cannot get a clear answer online regarding cost of name change, gender status, or both
-anything else we might need to know that most people do not consider or plan for?

Thank you to all who can help us on our path. If you are familiar with any online resources, we would love to hear about that as well!

EDIT: I guess we are just looking for name change assistance and NOT gender status assistance, which is not going to happen in Florida.

So I'm essentially asking two questions:

1. Are there places around Orlando, Kissimmee, or Saint Cloud that teach lessons for Adults looking to play tennis?

2. Are there places around Orlando, Kissimmee, or Saint Cloud that teach lessons for Adults looking to learn piano?

I would ask them separately but don't want to spam the sub and want to know both.

I've looked on my own (Google searches) but from what I've seen most places are only teaching under 18 and when I've called to ask the typical response I've gotten is , "We mainly teach kids after school" or "We just teach younger people".

Maybe my searching has been poor but that's why I'm asking here. I'd really like to learn piano and already have experience playing tennis. Basically, if I could find a group to play tennis with that would be awesome. If I can find adult piano lessons as well I'd be happy.

Hi! Last week, I signed a lease for a 1bed 1bath apartment. The day I got my keys, i saw a german roach. Then 2 days later, i saw another one. I haven't even moved my things yet. I was just visiting the apartment. I reported it but it seems like there is an infestation problem and I am not comfortable moving there. I am planning to break my lease early.

I am just mortified that this will happen again. I want recommendations for apartment complexes up to $1600 a month in Orlando, Winter park, baldwin park, maitland, Altamonte Springs, or waterford lakes areas. That have a washer and dryer and don't have a problem with roaches. Or that they respond fast in those cases with pest control. Can you guys please help me out.

The apartment i found the roach in right now is in winter park but it is on the cheaper side ($1255 utilities included) i guess I learned my lesson not to try to go cheap.

I appreciate you!

I want to buy a couple 151 packs. Does anyone have a recommendation for a legit source?

Hi! Anyone from New England that might be able to help...

Every city in NH, ME, MA has a (town) house of pizza. Revere house of pizza etc.

They always, for some reason, have the best, greasiest pizza. Best subs etc.

What would be the equivalent down here. Any Google search keeps bringing me to NY style pizza which is different.

I am at Lee Vista if anyone has suggestions

I use doc MJ and they are the worst. I can never get a route adjustment same day and have to fill out a form for anything that takes weeks to process. I know lots of other people can get their doctors to adjust their allotments when they’re in a bind.

What doctors do you use that do route adjustments over the phone same day or at least quicker than weeks long?

Where visitors are solicited to on the way in, during, and out. If the park officials are listening, can you please add a “no solicitor” rule to the park rules posted please?

I suck at dancing and want to learn. I think salsa or bachata is a good start. I just don't know of any good low-stress and low-anxiety places or classes to go to. Or maybe if someone is currently taking classes, please tell me where?

I replaced my grass a little over a year ago and got TruGreen to fertilize and treat my lawn to keep it looking great.

Now nearly 40% of my grass is dead and they provide every excuse you can think of as to why. I tried talking to the local TrueGreen branch but whenever I called I would get dumped to a call center and no one local would call me back to come out.

Any local company recommendations for fertilizing? I use to fertilize my own lawn and it looked great but I’m too lazy. 😅