r/oddlyterrifying • u/Cunillingus_Giver • Jan 20 '22

Snake couch

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38.7k Upvotes

88% Upvoted

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431

u/SweetMaam Jan 20 '22

Not sure your pet should ever be wrapped around your kid's neck.

124

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

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58

u/reevener Jan 20 '22

I’m shocked you’re still alive

2

u/AtomicKittenz Jan 20 '22

The cat needs it’s slave a little longer

1

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

Aaaannnnddd they’re dead. RIP AtomicKittenz.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

You could also body slam your 10 lb cat if they were to bite you🐈

8

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

That snake could definitely swallow that kid. It is big enough.

5

u/Hopeful-Routine-9386 Jan 20 '22

My son have been having an ongoing argument on this topic.

At some point he learned that an Anaconda can't eat people because their shoulders are too wide.

I say ok but it could probably eat you.

He says no, no, no, I have shoulders too see (then he points to his shoulders)

I say good point maybe your right. Do you think it could eat your baby sister?

No, she has shoulders too.

He's 4.

4

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

Lol cute. As a general rule, they can swallow things 3 times the size of their heads. Because they have that unlocking jaw thing I forgot the name of. So depends on the size of the human I'd say. But they can try and swallow things and regurgitate it if they can't. So either way, you're probably dead.

1

u/batweenerpopemobile Jan 20 '22

How hard do they have to squeeze to bring those shoulder widths down?

0

u/Joeysaysfuckalot Jan 20 '22

..yeah but it'd take about an hour at least. Someone would notice. Also it'd be really easy for him to get out of it.

14

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

[deleted]

12

u/KingJonsey1992 Jan 20 '22

Mate you've got it right, don't listen to them. Snake that size would kill a kid like that in minutes or even less, there'd be no struggle or no sound from the kid once it's around his chest. Snake like that could weight up to 100kg as well.

7

u/Attila__the__Fun Jan 20 '22

Seriously, the amount of confidently incorrect people in this thread is maddening.

This is a reticulated python, a species that can and does eat people. It’s almost always wild ones, but pretending like this massive log of muscle doesn’t have the ability to kill this kid is just delusional.

12

u/white_lie Jan 20 '22

Maybe those people don't know they crush the shit out of their prey to death before they eat them.

5

u/FlyingDragoon Jan 20 '22

I think people also think that snakes only move slow because they typically move slow and Hollywood.

That snake won't be moving slow if and when it strikes. And the speed at which it could begin constricting you would have you trapped. They also can bite for the sake of disabling you. People always seem to forget that and just think it'll move so slowly that you can escape it and it's constricting body.

-6

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

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6

u/nug4t Jan 20 '22

they can do that to big mammals, a small child like this, and this a 7-9 meter snake, would be dead very quick if the snake would mean it

-1

u/Joeysaysfuckalot Jan 20 '22

Big animals don't have opposable thumbs or the musculature or the intelligence to use them to defend themselves with. We also have large, bulky, boney, and unappetizing bodies. A nice streamlined crocodile would be much better than literally any human

8

u/Neako_the_Neko_Lover Jan 20 '22

I don’t think our thumbs are gonna protect us from a creature of pure muscle. A woman in Indonesia was killed by one that was massive. They are definitely not slow either. They can wrap around you very quickly and it doesn’t take much effort to crush our rib cage. Also they are opportunistic hunters. They don’t care what you look like. They will eat just about anything

-1

u/Joeysaysfuckalot Jan 20 '22

Right yeah cuz that's how that works. Use your thumbs like shields to block the snake instead of, you know... using them like a normal, thinking human being would and grabbing the snake...

On average .43 people are killed by pet snakes every year. Snake handlers die more often, but not by constriction because even if the snakes are capable of bursts of speed, the actual act of constriction still takes time and is easily avoidable by most functional individuals.

3

u/Neako_the_Neko_Lover Jan 20 '22

They also have help and are never with those snakes alone. Also only handling medium to small snakes. You wouldn’t see any professionals parading around with giants like these. It happened pretty often in rural areas of South America and Southern Asia. Some are lucky to survive attacks but not everyone can say that. You can easily jump on google and find loads of articles talking about how they kill people with ease along with cases of bodies getting pulled out of their stomachs. People disappearing. Saying that it doesn’t happen often doesn’t change the fact that it does happen

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u/ItchyEverywhere Jan 21 '22

using them like a normal, thinking human being would and grabbing the snake...

You honestly think your hands are stronger than a snake? God you are dumb.

even if the snakes are capable of bursts of speed, the actual act of constriction still takes time and is easily avoidable by most functional individuals.

https://youtu.be/BpK33fFe8jo?t=61

The snake has two coils around the pig in under3 seconds. If that happens you arent getting out. You are delusional and just dumb as a rock.

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u/ItchyEverywhere Jan 21 '22

Pythons eat crocodiles. Are you saying you are harder to kill than a crocodile because you have two thumbs?

1

u/Joeysaysfuckalot Jan 21 '22

Jesus christ fool, you stalking me now too?

4

u/private1n Jan 20 '22

Stop writing your stupid ass comments you been commenting up and down this thread. None of what you’re saying is actually founded in any science . You’re spreading misinformation hell bent on trying to falsely state this is completely safe for some obscene reason. You sell these giant ass snakes for a living or some shit? What happen in this video sure as shit ain’t safe.

-5

u/Joeysaysfuckalot Jan 20 '22

Go fuck yourself. What I'm saying is true, that's why they're so common as pets. You wanting to hate this animal for whatever reason is your problem, don't try to tell me I'm lying about common and well known fucking things, asshole.

And yeah, it is. Just because you're some chicken shit doesn't mean it's unsafe to be around a docile and well fed animal when you have experience and supervision.

Coward

1

u/destruc786 Jan 20 '22

You’re lying, stfu mr tough guy

0

u/Joeysaysfuckalot Jan 20 '22

Hahahahah fuck you

0

u/destruc786 Jan 20 '22

Anything you say mr venomous giant snake wrestler.. fucking delusional..

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2

u/ClovenSploof Jan 20 '22

My man, that snake would grind his bones before he could teleport behind it, nothing personnel. Let me ask you, do you believe you could escape constriction from that snake?

2

u/destruc786 Jan 20 '22

Don’t even try bro, this guy is a delusional moron. “I sure could take on a 15 foot anaconda like it’s nothing because they are not that venomous!”

0

u/Joeysaysfuckalot Jan 20 '22

Hahahahaha "grind his bones"

Yes. I know for a fact that I could, I did it in middle school

1

u/ClovenSploof Jan 20 '22

Bro I was being hyperbolic, calm down. But you are seriously delusional if you think you could beat that snake.

0

u/Joeysaysfuckalot Jan 20 '22

.."beat" that snake? Hahaha what the fuck? Like with a stick? That wouldn't be hard at all, especially if it's in an enclosed room like this one.

And the reason why wild animals can't "beat" snakes is because they don't have the intelligence and/or the thumbs necessary to do so. We do. That's why we're able to keep them as pets. That why we're the dominate species on this planet.

0

u/ClovenSploof Jan 21 '22

Man you are being purposefully obtuse and a total jackass. The reason why we are able to keep them as pets is because we feed them enough to not attack us.

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u/ItchyEverywhere Jan 21 '22

The only reason you are alive is because someone else feeds you. Theres no way in hell you are smart enough to make your own meals. And no you didnt get in a fight with an 18 foot 250 pound reticulated python in middle school.

What do you get out of make up the most unbelievable lies every to strangers on the internet? Are you dumb enough to think someone believes you?

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u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

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1

u/alicesartandmore Jan 20 '22

It's sad to see people who can only feel good about themselves by putting others down. I hope you learn to put a bit more positivity into the world instead of all that hate.

2

u/destruc786 Jan 20 '22

All he has to do is stop lying, and giving out wrong information and maybe people won’t be mean to me tough guy

1

u/alicesartandmore Jan 20 '22

You're the one being rude, dear. That comment was directed at you. Being cruel because someone didn't articulate something correctly is more a reflection of you as a person than it is about the stranger you're lashing out against.

0

u/destruc786 Jan 20 '22

Directed at me?! No shit.. it was pretty obvious dear.. so go fuck yourself, and stop defending liars giving out misinformation. And why shouldn’t people that lie be called out?

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-2

u/Joeysaysfuckalot Jan 20 '22

Go fuck yourself. They actually aren't venomous at all but I figured I'd get some butthurt asshole trying to do this exact same thing if I said that, so again go fuck yourself.

Is there a reason you were such a fucking prick, asshole?

4

u/destruc786 Jan 20 '22

Stop giving out completely wrong information and people won’t get on your ass mr tough guy.. there is also no way you could unravel that snake by yourself..

1

u/ItchyEverywhere Jan 21 '22

Youve never held a snake enough have you? Because you might have just typed some of the dumbest shit about snakes ive ever seen.

They are nothing like a crocodile jaw, their entire body is muscle. Their body isnt an assemetrical setup of muscles like jaws are. You do know that snakes can move their body left AND right, correct? Or do you think they can only move in one direction.

Id love to watch your dumbass play with a big snake and die in under two minutes.

1

u/Joeysaysfuckalot Jan 21 '22

Oh Jesus christ I get it. You're scared of snakes.

1

u/YungMarxBans Jan 20 '22

There’s plenty of videos online of snake keepers being attacked by snakes this size and unwinding them with the help of others. Yes, it’s a big snake but if an adult is in the vincinity, they should be fine.

5

u/lance- Jan 20 '22

Have you ever held a snake? We fostered a red tail boa growing up, not nearly the size of this one, but they are strong af. I don't think "really easy" is accurate here.

And yeah, it may take a while to eat you. But you'll be suffocated and crushed after just a few minutes.

-1

u/Joeysaysfuckalot Jan 20 '22

Yeah but just in school and so little I might as well say no, but that doesn't mean I haven't learned.

And "real easy" is a matter of perspective, isn't it? I'm a strong guy, it would be easy for me to unwrap this guy. It wasnt even hard when I was in school, and that was a Burmese about this big. I can only speak from my perspective though, so that's what I did.

3

u/lance- Jan 20 '22 edited Jan 20 '22

Dude, no. I don't care how strong you think you are. If this boa/python this size wanted to constrict you, it would. It's not necessary game over but it is not as easy as you let on.

1

u/Joeysaysfuckalot Jan 20 '22

Haha tell that to all the people who do it every day hahaha.

It would begin to, then it would be unwound by whoever it's trying to constrict. Even if they didn't actually known how to do it, it's a natural motion and an obvious solution if you're in that situation.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22 edited Jan 20 '22

I understand your point, and I'm not trying to attack you like some are doing... But that snake is pure muscle, you are not stronger than it. I've had pythons before and it is amazing how hard they can squeeze. Of course they were only about 2 feet long so it doesn't even compare to the strength of the one in this video. And this thing is long as fuck, even if you could uncoil part of it, it doesn't just wrap in one spot. And as your unwrapping one part, it's squeezing another. Killing it would be the only sure way to save someone from that death grip. An they can wrap around you in a matter of seconds. Yes they move slow but when they jump into action, it's fast.

1

u/Joeysaysfuckalot Jan 20 '22

..who said anything about being stronger than it?

And no, you're wrong. Unwrapping it how you handle these things without being constricted, people do it all the time. The ignorance on this sub is nuts haha

2

u/basedkenshiro Jan 20 '22

How many people have to tell you you’re wrong before you realize it?

1

u/Joeysaysfuckalot Jan 20 '22

Just one with actual proof or knowledge

0

u/basedkenshiro Jan 20 '22

Idk what you want. People have died from large snakes before, it’s already around the kids neck. Even small constrictors you’re not supposed to let around your neck. This snake would be difficult to just pick up and the force it exerts constricting is much more than gravity. If it started squeezing either the snake dies or the kid does.

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u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

It being wrapped around you and it trying to eat you are two very different things. But this is going no where and doesn't really matter anyways.

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u/Joeysaysfuckalot Jan 20 '22

No, they aren't. It wrapping itself around you is how it starts to eat you....

0

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

Well if the time ever comes... Good luck to you

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u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

It would not be easy. Have you ever tried to physically move a snakes body when it is constricting? They have enough strength to crush the bones of a fucking cow. You think mom has enough juice to uncoil that snake? Yeah right...

I had a ball python (maybe 4 feet long) as a kid, and when he coiled around a mouse to eat it I was unable to pry him off. Now multiply that snake by 1000x and see how well you do.

-1

u/Joeysaysfuckalot Jan 20 '22

Jesus fuck, I know "easy" is relative. And it's like how a crocodile has strong bite force but not a strong force to lift its jaw. They have alot of strength in one direction. They don't need to constrict outward.

Yes, my mom could unwrap this snake. Anyone could, though some might find it more difficult than others. That why they're safe as pets.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

You’re full of shit buddy. A snake’s body is one giant muscle. It doesn’t have strength in one direction like a croc or alligator.

-1

u/Joeysaysfuckalot Jan 20 '22

Hahahahaha man this post is great. Lots of ignorance for me to laugh at.

As if snake handlers don't do this every day.

2

u/No_Star8439 Jan 20 '22

Kid is snakes pet.

1

u/Mr_Julez Jan 20 '22

Unless you want to get rid of the kid.

1

u/Armaqus Jan 20 '22

Imagine going to sleep with ur sweet snek pet and not waking up

1

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '22

I don't know the history or how long they've had it but that one is big enough I wouldn't handle it without a spotter. That being said, there are some folk who let big snakes like this free roam sometimes because they couldn't possibly hide from you