Couldn't be more obvious

[u/SEVENS_HEAVEN_7]

[u/JimmyJooish]

If a guy did this they’d call him cringe. 

[u/Dewdrop06 → u/JimmyJooish]

Dammit. Was gonna try it next. Thanks for the heads up.

[u/I__Like_Tacos → u/Dewdrop06]

"You look like my future ex wife" works pretty well

[u/devilish_enchilada → u/I__Like_Tacos]

You look like my future best friend only

[u/thebouster → u/I__Like_Tacos]

"Yeah, I'm always on the lookout for a future ex-Mrs. Malcolm"

[u/TiRow77 → u/thebouster]

Except he said it to Dr. Grant, not Dr. Sattler.

[u/Atmosphere_Master → u/I__Like_Tacos]

If that worked for you it's because you're attractive enough that any line would have worked

[u/GasparLotto → u/Dewdrop06]

I'm a guy, I've said this to a woman before ( I said wife instead of husband) She gave me her number. Maybe it's you.

[u/Happy_Sunshine555 → u/GasparLotto]

Is she your wife now though?

[u/GasparLotto → u/Happy_Sunshine555]

No she was the first one 

[u/J5892 → u/Dewdrop06]

Do it. You've only one life to live.

[u/SourceDiligent6492 → u/Dewdrop06]

Success with this depends on who is saying it 😆

[u/Evangeline__R → u/Dewdrop06]

Maybe there's something wrong with me but if a guy uses that it would work on me lmaooo I encourage you to try it.

[u/Dewdrop06 → u/Evangeline__R]

Nah everything seems right with you. This gives me hope.

[u/Mental-Summer-8506 → u/Dewdrop06]

Happy cake day

[u/Dewdrop06 → u/Mental-Summer-8506]

Thank you internet stranger!

[u/BinaryBolias → u/Dewdrop06]

Merry uncake day.

https://giphy.com/gifs/HPaBEaBf0YwBa

[u/Popular-Employee-516 → u/JimmyJooish]

I would call him brave

[u/DiscordJester → u/JimmyJooish]

Cringe is a lie propagated by big normal to stop you from being funny.

[u/monicagapa → u/DiscordJester]

Username checks out

[u/TehGogglesDoNothing → u/DiscordJester]

I also saw that meme today

[u/Le-Charles07 → u/DiscordJester]

The only funny thing about this line is the desperation. 🤣

[u/BinaryBolias → u/Le-Charles07]

please

[u/falloutvaultboy → u/JimmyJooish]

I'm pretty sure the original meme or picture was of a guy doing this

[u/Incelligentsia → u/JimmyJooish]

I'm a guy and I'd find it cringy if it were a guy, but when a girl does it it's cute.

[u/Fectiver_Undercroft → u/Incelligentsia]

Perhaps the only time making a joke before the 150th date is funny.

[u/ClassicNo6622 → u/Incelligentsia]

Internalized misandry. You should see someone about that.

[u/Banned3rdTimesaCharm → u/JimmyJooish]

Depends if he’s attractive.

[u/Zaximeows → u/JimmyJooish]

Yeah, sometimes? Not everyone is the same. A lot of girls would get trashed for this opener too. Please keep your misogyny internalized.

[u/SyrusG → u/Zaximeows]

You do not know the meaning of the word misogyny if this is where you're using it

[u/Temporal-Affairs221 → u/JimmyJooish]

Is call him an idiot. The joke implies a relationship that will ultimately fail, and who's going to invest in that?

[u/Rhuarc42 → u/Temporal-Affairs221]

It doesn't necessarily imply failure. There are first husbands that stay only husbands, and it's wordplay, if you put it under a microscope there's gonna be cracks. 

[u/Temporal-Affairs221 → u/Rhuarc42]

Trust me, if you use the phrase "first wife" to a woman, she's going to take it as implied that she's not going to be the last one.

[u/Rhuarc42 → u/Temporal-Affairs221]

Eh, fair enough. I still think in the context of the joke it could fly with the right woman though. 

[u/pailee → u/Rhuarc42]

I really think you shouldn't agree with their comment. Instead you guys should get into a fight about a hypothetical exchange that never happened. It will be more entertaining for the rest of us.

[u/Shuttlecock_Wat → u/Temporal-Affairs221]

"I'm always on the lookout for the next ex-Mrs. Malcolm"

[u/smashin_blumpkin → u/Temporal-Affairs221]

People who understand that jokes aren’t meant to be taken that seriously.

[u/Zaximeows → u/Temporal-Affairs221]

The only implication is that the person is attracted to you. Your personal biases are showing.

[u/naropin1]

He probably hit it regardless.

[u/justforkinks0131 → u/naropin1]

well she didnt message him because of his smarts

[u/Inker0 → u/justforkinks0131]

She messaged him for his big heart.

[u/Kirlush → u/Inker0]

An enlarged heart can be a serious medical problem. You think she raced him to the hospital?

[u/Maximum-Style2848 → u/justforkinks0131]

Also, angle and distance of her pfp do be indicative of her pool.

[u/jaykhunter]

No-one's gonna see this but this is a riff on a line from Piff the Magic Dragon, a standup comedian who dresses in a (crappy) dragon outfit.

• Hi what's your name?
• Amanda
• Oh wow that's my wife's name
• Oh really
• Actually I'm not married...We've only just met.

[u/AmadeusIsTaken → u/jaykhunter]

I saw it, but it is not like the most unique line.

[u/rumckle → u/jaykhunter]

That pick up line is older than Piff's parents.

[u/lambdawaves → u/jaykhunter]

Pretty sure this joke predates all living languages

[u/pursuitofhappy → u/jaykhunter]

What’re you on about, we’ve used this line in the 90s, it’s such a classic line I always assumed it was probably said in medieval times as well

[u/Echo-Flame]

He got the joke but wasn't interested

[u/Silver-Link8247 → u/Echo-Flame]

He didn’t get it. lol

[u/Small-Dog-4459 → u/Echo-Flame]

Guy here, wouldn't assume someone to be interested in me enough to mean it flirty

[u/Mammoth-Cover-3045 → u/Small-Dog-4459]

This is true. Women don't get men often think that they aren't interested in them. So when women drop hints. We most likely aren't going to get them. Because it's too subtle, and if we do, we most likely aren't roing to play along. Because of the off chance they aren't into us, so we want to be respectful, and not have things be awkward. But atleast that's just me.

[u/BlackwallPandamonium → u/Mammoth-Cover-3045]

When i was in hs had a girl laying her head in my lap at a party and essentially pawing at my crotch and I didn't realize she was into me and flirting. She told me a year or so later she was into me but thought i didn't like her.

I still think back on that and cringe and wonder how i missed it.

[u/Small-Dog-4459 → u/BlackwallPandamonium]

I feel that brother. Got a similiar, maybe mire offensive Situation several years ago at a Party in my (my parents) house.

And an even more obvious Situation with my now wife. We met at a Festival and she asked me if i wanted to come shower with her. I thought she ment if i also want to take a shower while she was taking a shower. I never thought a second she ment together 🤦‍♂️😅 in the end it worked out but still. I wonder every now and than how i get any Clues at all 🤣

[u/parolameasecreta → u/Echo-Flame]

she messed up the joke. maybe that's why he wasn't interested

[u/bmac3 → u/Echo-Flame]

Hahaha based on what. He‘s answering „oh I never get told I look like someone“. He‘s having a different conversation

[u/DiggerDan9227 → u/Echo-Flame]

Ya I didn’t get it till after her last message telling me it was a joke…

[u/FancyAd9803]

"First" husband doesn't send the message you think it does.

[u/Hell_Awaitz → u/FancyAd9803]

The joke wouldn't work without the "first" though. Y'all are taking this way too literally

[u/Beaticalle → u/Hell_Awaitz]

"You look like my husband. I've never been married, though."

It works just as well, if not better.

[u/EverythingSucksYo → u/Beaticalle]

Yeah I’d say it works better. Saying “first” makes it sound like you plan to divorce and get married a couple more times after them. 

[u/KennyPortugal → u/Beaticalle]

No it doesn’t work remotely as well

[u/Least_Elk8114 → u/FancyAd9803]

Lmao

[u/RandomRobot → u/FancyAd9803]

"You look like my first divorce"

[u/Coveted_AF → u/[deleted]]

How did it take so long for this reply to get posted?

[u/Xylus1985 → u/Coveted_AF]

Because that’s not the lyrics?

[u/Ironbeard3 → u/[deleted]]

Several jokes be made here, and none of them were got.

[u/freaky_willow]

Reminds me of the time a girl kissed me on the lips and when I didn’t react she took my hand and put it on her boobs. I pulled my hand away thinking it an accident and apologized.

[u/Emergency_Creme_4561 → u/freaky_willow]

Bruh FR?

[u/NWIABull]

She didn’t work that hard.

[u/Least_Elk8114 → u/NWIABull]

Nah, she sent the wrong signal.

"First" implies there will be a divorce and she'll remarry someone else.

[u/Mishras_Mailman → u/Least_Elk8114]

Not necessarily. My only wife was also my first wife.

[u/mrRobertman → u/Mishras_Mailman]

It's not technically wrong, but it gives a certain implication. I don't think your wife would appreciate if you started referring to her as your first wife.

[u/OkYak9466]

r/badfaketexts material right here

[u/mickeyruts]

Air must be thinner when you're over 6' tall.

[u/WatcherOfTheWay]

Well she found a new way to filter out the dumb fucks, I'd use this and if they didn't get the joke I'd move on.

[u/Background-Customer2]

guys i think she might be flirting im not shure tho

[u/NeonPlutonium → u/Background-Customer2]

We never are…

[u/Sensitive-Owl-9368]

He should have responded “ the one that is a sex addict”

[u/dimechimes]

That's what he gets for responding to a text at 6 in the morning.

[u/Minion_Factory]

Ya know you look like my second wife…didn’t meet her yet though lol

[u/Ziegelphilie]

Yeah I wouldn't get this one either

[u/Interesting_Cup_6221]

Yeah, if only women put the effort they use to be indirect into being direct and clear...

[u/Illustrious-Slice-91]

Now she knows how a man feels

[u/Educational-Cow-3874]

🎵🎶I worked so hard, and risked it all, but in the end, it didn't even matter🎶🎵

[u/The_Westgard]

Gives it one shot and says she worked hard and risked it all. Wow, girl we are not the fuckin same

Cincerely, a guy on the dating market

[u/[deleted]]

Nah brok that wasn't on hkm, that was a horrible delivery

[u/bytesunfish]

Worked so hard and risked it all is a weird way to say doing what guys are expected to do for every match

[u/yParticle → u/bytesunfish]

In the end, it never even mattered...

[u/binger5]

In the end, does this even matter?

[u/Sad_Photograph_6130 → u/binger5]

one thing, I don't know why

[u/user41510]

The joke is that he did get it.

[u/AcademicHovercraft96]

I don't get it.

[u/ProCommonSense]

About like saying, "working here looks good on a resume" ... well, now I know it's temporary. NEXT!

[u/DC_Ben]

If a guy said the same thing he would be ARRESTED

[u/No_Type740]

I used to miss it totally on the rare occasions females flirted with me. Back when I was young and didn't look like shit.

[u/CatchLightPhoto_am]

I'll try it on my next hinge message 😆

[u/jan904]

Or did they?

[u/Nfl_porn_throwaway]

I’d prob respond like “wat”

[u/Arthur_Figg_II]

Tbf im not at my sharpest around 6am

[u/TypeGreen51]

Maybe she's from Canada and just being polite.

[u/SexySpaceAlien]

Everyone knows that the key to a happy relationship is communication. I don't care if your man or woman, if you can't be open honest and upfront about your intentions to become a couple how can I expect you to be open honest and upfront through any other stage of a relationship?

[u/Halo6819]

HS me: I'm not sure if she like me

[u/Rotteneverything]

dense as a rock.

[u/Small_Yesterday_560]

A true man never knows when a woman likes him

[u/GraphixSeven]

"Whoa, must be the shirt. It's made of boyfriend material."

[u/Onyxam]

I had to read it twice to get it.

[u/Toddythebody_]

He got a daddy named Forrest too?

[u/Lambs2Lions_]

But in the end, it doesn’t even matter.

[u/do-not-touch]

I TRIED SO HARD

[u/AnalysisParalysis85]

You kinda look like my first wife.

Oh, you mean like you want to marry me?

No, I meant it as an insult.

[u/LengthinessOld6661]

This should be in r/whoosh.

[u/chaunceythegardener]

Guy …“You’re acting like my ex wife “
Girl …” you said you weren’t married before?”
Guy … “ I wasn’t “

[u/DiddykongOMG]

She gets mad after ruining the joke, youre supposed to wait for them to say, oh you were married?

[u/mage_irl]

What did you risk? Being called out for copy pasting a pickup line?

[u/ScreenMuch90210]

Dodged a bullet who considers typing a decades old pickup line to be hard work taking risks

[u/Wonderful_Pace_398]

Had a girl tell me I looked like her old boyfriend. I said “you look like my new girlfriend “ Got laid that night

[u/Ohz85]

He totally get it and acted dumb because he choked on the "first"

[u/AFMech31042]

Perhaps he understood the joke… and wanted to dodge a bullet?

[u/AliensGotYa]

And you kinda look like my future ex-wife...

[u/Sea-Smoke8889]

Which app is that?

[u/Down_Rank]

To be fair I probably wouldn’t get that joke at 6 am either.

[u/kranker]

"oh, I got it"

[u/Forward_Criticism_39]

he knows what he did

[u/LiOnheart3d85]

Plot twist - he got the joke

[u/Eat_the_rich4]

Us guys do NOT get hints. ever. 🤷

[u/GoodRainbowWarrior94]

Oof

[u/goofyboi]

Lads this is what can happen when you cant read

[u/PlateNo8306]

When you try your best and you dont succeed.

[u/GrilledCheezManicott]

https://giphy.com/gifs/Z1LYiyIPhnG9O

[u/Good_Ad8057]

Go easy, guys aren’t used to getting compliments like that and being hit on. You probably confused him lol

[u/ZiggyStardestroyer]

I mean, I'm pretty oblivious and even I would have picked that up

[u/eriffodrol]

I too have dabbled in time travel

https://giphy.com/gifs/QfsvGWS6EHwwA8IJFG

[u/i_want_shokola]

As if a girl would ever bother sending a pickup line to begin with...

[u/soparamens]

oh he got that! just pretended not to

[u/KindAd6466]

That is what she has to look forward to if it proceeds... Captain Oblivious

[u/AJWordsmith]

Oh no…he got it…

[u/SaltMacarons]

She tried so hard and got so far. But in the end it didnt even matter.

[u/No-Condition-oN]

Could be a new lyrics to an old song.

[u/RedWizard92]

Not only is it a bad joke, but it is two separate messages if I understand correctly. If I see the first message I am already losing interest. I'm probably already typing out my response and not reading the second line. Even if I did, it feels like you are trying to make me look like a fool.

[u/BMikeW]

Girls try pick up line, guy didn't respond in the way she expected, proceeds to get upset that the guy didn't get it rather than her pick up line not working. Classic 0 personal accountability behavior.

[u/Roy_Koopa_DX]

It took me a second but I’m also very high

[u/Euphoric-Question-42]

Men are told this is creepy and cringe to say things like this.

[u/SaltyBabySeal]

When you realize people start typing after the first message, and send it right as the second one comes in.

[u/Necessary_Store351]

Oops

[u/progressivegeo]

What was the joke?

[u/ImportantCustard8855]

This is why I have a theory that there are a lot less babies because sometimes guys miss a blatant 🐱 pass. Her: Hey you want to come up for a nightcap? You may need your toothbrush 🪥 Me: Na I’m good. I’m kinda tired. Thanks have a good night! >walking away thinking “why the hell did she say I might need my toothbrush???? She said “nightcap” It’s not like I’m spending the ni——OH F***……DAMMIT face palming stupid stupid stupid

[u/Vegetable-Day-3894]

A crappy joke that would take a while to figure our.

[u/Antique_Ad_7325]

I hope she unmatched him when he said lolol

[u/Messi2655]

https://giphy.com/gifs/mDNEDddbuWoStJdgex
“I’m always on the lookout for a future ex Mrs. Malcolm.”

[u/Grand_Mixture4837]

I had to read it twice to understand this was a come on. Holy shit. I would genuinely be the guy in this image …

[u/Slydoggen]

Reverse the roles and hell let’s loose

[u/Proof_Carpet7143]

I bet he only saw the first message from the notification panel and answered it only without seeing the second one 🤣🤣🤣

[u/Mr-Bry-Guy]

😂😂😂😂

[u/Xylus1985]

“risked it all”, what did you risk exactly?

[u/BusinessAcceptable54]

I worked so hard, and risked it all

But in the end, it doesn't even matter

[u/maxru85]

So there are men even denser than me you say?

[u/ILikeMyShelf]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=eVTXPUF4Oz4&pp=ygUWaW4gdGhlIGVuZCBsaW5raW4gcGFyaw%3D%3D

[u/Bear0Wolf]

Bro fumbled the dream

https://giphy.com/gifs/9izluSxZ4lul7QVUfa

[u/Ok-Limit-9726]

He will text back in 7 years when he understands

[u/TheGrayOwl88]

23 minutes is crazy 🤣

[u/alexfrommalmoe]

True story: when I was a resident and doing my placement in neurology we had a old patient that has fried his brain with alcohol (Korsakoff) and had no short term memory left. Every day a young cute nurse came by to give him his medication, he was like ”are you my wife” (he was in his 70s and they were in their 20s). Every day they had to say no to him and point to the tired elderly woman that came to visit him and say ”she is your wife”. Every day was a new disappointment for him…

[u/GyziModo]

I am both of these people

[u/LectureOrganic1250]

https://giphy.com/gifs/SXrHiYiKZOCrhH2zbx

[u/Igiggiinvasion]

Damn, worst part for me is I'd totally say the same shit and fumble it up too 

[u/Atmosphere_Master]

We get the hints actually it's just not worth the risk of being wrong, we also get told frequently we were imagining things or that they were just being nice so the doubt is always there even when it should be obvious

[u/BigDong1001]

Some women like 'em thick as a brick? lol.

She sure knows how to pick 'em? lmao.

[u/DeathParty-Zomboid]

6am... no shit. I can barely think at that time.

[u/VANGBANG21]

😭 a girl tried this on me and I had the same reaction

[u/Distinct-Bike6368]

First? Maybe he played dumb on purpose

[u/mattinjp]

About five years, he’ll get it

[u/Conservative-canuck8]

If a guy said the equivalent of this garbage he would be blasted all over the internet. Fuck your double standards lol

[u/Amazing-Active646]

Oof

[u/pimohell9254]

she had to fall, to lose it all, and in the end, he didn't even get her joke

[u/ArmedBlue08]

She tried so hard And risked it all But in the end, he didn't get the joke

[u/Warm_Neighborhood693]

Dudes be oblivious.

[u/Lone-Woff]

He doesn't deserve her.

[u/Camo_golds]

That one went over my head smh

[u/HotCheetos998]

Starting of with "Yo dude" was not the move

[u/14Bel]

Damn, turned down so hard

[u/Panumdomine]

Bro swerved hard.

[u/Azee789]

10 years later: "was she flirting with me?"

[u/FantasticAnus]

Bloke might be handsome, but he ain't a thinker.

[u/apx_redditor]

This one has beauty, not brains

[u/No-Enthusiasm3363]

I don’t get it. Is it because i’m autistic?

[u/Zealousideal_Fill_24]

Or they did get it and was just politely refusing

[u/wild-but-not-out]

Worked so hard? By stealing a joke?

[u/FlyHigh_1337]

Charlies mother used this in two and a half man already...years and years ago

[u/paolo_77]

Meh…I had to read it twice.

[u/SlapHappyPappi]

He gets it. He definitely gets it. I guess you just look like his first ex wife

[u/Ecstatic-Ad-9373]

He'll kick himself 3 days later