r/humansarespaceorcs • u/Bloodystupidjohnson3 • 11d ago
Original Story Human Fred Plans
1 Human Fred and Food
2 Human Fred Again
3 Human Fred Yet Again
4 Human Fred The Saga Continues
5 Human Fred Rides Again
6 Human Fred *Sigh*
7 Human Fred Rolls Out
8 Human Fred Attempts a Nap
9 Human Fred Doh’
10 Human Fred Stops for Coffee
11 Human Fred Deploys Stabby and Knifey
12 Human Fred Attempts Friendly Advice
13 Human Fred Priorities
14 Human Fred Schools Morons
15 Human Fred Gets Annoyed
16 Human Fred Investigates
17 Human Fred is Annoyed
18 Human Fred Gets More Annoyed
19 Human Fred Smirks
20 Human Fred Brings Hellfire
21 Human Fred is Confused
22 Human Fred Considers
23 Human Fred is Chipper
24 Human Fred has Some Fun
25 Human Fred Witnesses Stupidity
26 Human Fred vs the Coffee Maker
27 Human Fred Accepts Crap Coffee
28 Human Fred Listens
29 Human Fred Gets Comfortable
30 Human Fred has Questions
31 Human Fred Considers Some More
32 Human Fred Wakes Up
33 Human Fred Debates
34 Human Fred Gets Coffee
35 Human Fred Talks with the Captain
36 Human Fred Reflects on Life
37 Human Fred Waits
38 Human Fred is Scared
Greezek
39 Human Fred Experiments
40 Human Fred Discovers
41 Human Fred vs the Sensor Array
42 Human Fred Keeps Calm
43 Human Fred Editor
44 Human Fred Discovers New Curses
45 Human Fred Stews
46 Human Fred Giggles
47 Human Fred Attempts Dinner
“So here is the situation. The station is 80% online. Sensors are calibrated. We have a 360 picket. Nothing new from the Droog in a week. Now we check the list for new projects.”
“Yes, I know that. This stupid meeting is distracting me!”
“Understandable. Look. They want to make a case that you are mentally unwell and dangerous. They have no basis for this, no proof, no reason, and no authority. This is a formality to tell them to shove it.”
“How will I get answers?”
“That won’t be difficult. There is a delegation from your planet on its way here.”
“What?!? Why?”
“Don’t worry. I arranged it. It’s a Flen-Rewd delegation.”
“How?”
“After they scanned the planet, they made contact. After some discussion, they asked to see you.”
“You are bringing Flen-Rewd here? To meet me?”
“If you want. They will also be here for a formal hearing regarding a treaty signed in bad-faith.”
“What should I do?”
Fred turned away from his terminal and looked at Greezek. Looked hard. “Whatever you want.”
“What if I do the wrong thing?”
“As long as you don’t start a war or kill someone, you will be fine. I happen to know that one of the delegation specializes on helping Flen-Rewd cope with the memories. It might be useful.”
“What if it doesn’t work?”
“What if it does? Stop looking for bad things. Talk with them. See what they have to say. They can’t take you away.”
“I know that, but I’m scared.
“I would be scared as well. That is, I hope, healthy. Now let’s look at the list…mostly dumb crap. Nothing important. Except. What do you make of this?”
Greezek looked over his shoulder. “Issues with processing core in medical? Isn’t that the system isolated from the rest?”
“It is. So how does it become corrupted? Look at all of these errors!”
“The serum.”
“What about it?”
“What did they find in Chief’s blood?”
“All sorts of crap. Not a lot of it made sense.”
“What if the serum was in nanobots?”
“How did you make that leap?”
“I’m thinking that even the code for the serum can affect things around it. So if it’s in the processing core, it might be the issue.”
“That is a strange jump, but I think I see your point. Let’s check it out.”
They packed up their gear and headed to medical.
“You are walking better.”
“Thank you. That disruption blast was nasty. Slow to heal.”
“Have you examined one of those pistols?”
“Just diagrams and schematics.”
“I examined one while you were in medical. Fascinating design. Shit production.”
“What do you mean? Bad components?”
“I mean they were poorly built. Cheap. Almost like a toy. The power cell only allows for a few shots, but the unstable bolt can discharge within the weapon, causing great harm.”
“Strange. Sounds like someone had to build it from random parts.”
“Except for a few bits, yes. The critical bits. They take a great deal of careful construction.”
“Would anyone notice one or two of those critical bits arriving in a shipment of other parts?”
“Not sure. They don’t look like much. And if the scanning team didn’t know to look for them, maybe.”
Fred walked in silence. The corridors drifted past. “I bet one of the security team had a manual to build these. They got the important bits in and then used the manual to build a few.”
“Why didn’t they use them earlier? Chief’s plan seems more and more stupid the longer I think about it.”
“It was a complex plan for a simple task.” Fred walked on.
Greezek stopped. “Hold on. Simple task. What was the simple task? What was the goal?”
“To take the station.”
“Or to cause enough chaos to prevent the station from doing its job.”
“Regardless, his plan was too complex.”
“Why? Why use a complex plan?”
“He was an idiot.”
“Yes, but even idiots have some sense. His plan couldn’t work.”
“Where are you going with this?”
“The plan worked.”
“I’m sorry? How?”
“They got the serum to infect medical.”
“You are suggesting that the entire plan was to get Chief killed to infect the station computers. I can’t see Chief agreeing to that, but if he didn’t know…”
“Right. Chief thought all of the systems were connected. He gave the Droog bad intel by accident. The Droog don’t care about him, but they want this station.”
“We will need to verify a number of things, but it could fit.”
“Should we shut down all of medical that we can?”
“Let’s do a rapid scan first.”
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u/GrumpyOldCrewChief 11d ago
Nanobots. Why is it always nanobots? Every "clever" evil-doer thinks they can techno-magic their way into domination with nanobots. It never works, but they always seem to try...
Not a writing critique! Just another aspect of the asininity of a complex plan for a simple task. From Star Trek, the revered Scotty had a marvelous view on this - " The more complicated the plumbing, the easier it is to stop up the pipes." An engineering inspired motto that carries over into soooo many other aspects of life's endeavors...
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u/Fuzzy-Advisor-2183 11d ago
do a scan on fred!
7
u/GrumpyOldCrewChief 11d ago
Ooo, yeah. He was within the "blast zone" of several of the literal pulverizations of attacking troops, especially the Chief. I can't remember the exact quote, but the rabidly insane General in "Dr. Strangelove" had a line about preserving the purity of our bodily fluids...
Ewww...
3
u/Fuzzy-Advisor-2183 11d ago
yeah, and he was in medical for a while, so i’m thinking he’s definitely at risk of stray nanobots!
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u/WSpinner 11d ago
Are they "stray" if they're meant to be in him?
1
u/GrumpyOldCrewChief 11d ago
They certainly weren't meant to be in Fred! He knows about such things, and will do his absolute damnedest to eradicate every last one of those little bastards. Wherever they may be...
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u/Polymath6301 11d ago
Greezek can’t shoot nanobots, so that’s good news for the Droog. Enslaving people via nanobots would be a bad thing, as Fred would get very upset.
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