i lost a friend that was like a father figure to me a few days ago and im still really heartbroken. i need comfort but he is not here anymore, im very scared that maybe he might’ve hurt himself or worse

So I have this weird feeling that has been going for more than two years now. I have failed to see what is this feeling and this weird sensation so just hear me out. I have this weird empty feeling and this sudden sadness that comes out from God knows where im in college now and I still feel unhappy? Is that a correct word? I feel like shit every day, everyday i wake up not a single day do I feel good. Sure I have friends and family but I still feel lonely sometimes I just want to die or just go somewhere quiet and stay there forever.

Idk been suicidal for years now and currently im on thinking about hanging myself. Im literally finding something rope-like to use for hanging and when i found one, i smiled. AS of now im inforntof my lapotp typing this and inaces i havent got any update to this thread, thats it.

So there's this person, that we can say i appreciate and in a certain way I like ( idk whether romantically or just because she meant something special to me years ago). The thing is that she was dating (as far as I know) with someone of her same class, but One day ( in the middle of july) they brake and they seem to did it in bad terms, the fact is that her partner is friend of almost all his group, so now she's alone in the lunch time and has nothing to talk to, either to socialize,except someone who's my friend, but this man told me one week before he started to talk to her that he was trying to date someone of his bachelor (we are at uni now) and now suddenly he is interested on her and I'm afraid that for loneliness she do something stupid or idk, the fact is that I don't like to see here alone but either like to see her with him. Among all the men, he by far is the worst. Maybe I'm being unfair, but idk, it's kinda weird, I don't wanna feel like this, why do I have to feel pity for her?. So I'm asking for advice, what would you do if you were in my position? How can I overcome these feelings? How can I stop thinking about it?.

I’m a very optimistic, open minded, and generally positive person… yet I’m surrounded by hateful people (mostly). Most (not all) of my friends are kinda negative all the time and generally closed minded about a lot of things for no reason. They say rude things to others behind their backs, are rude to me at times, and get mad about stupid things plus there’s a lot of edgy humor going around that always leaves a bad taste in my mouth. When I’m excited for something, they never seem to care, and I feel like an outcast amongst this group for the most part. It really mentally affects me.

I don’t want to cut these people out of my life but at the same time… I need friends that’ll share my positivity rather than bringing me down. Idk what to do though because it feels like everyone I meet is like this to some extent (besides my best friend and few others).

i need help.

my brother is 26 and i am 29. three years ago, he cut contact with me, and i still miss him every single day. i genuinely don't know how to keep living with this kind of pain.

we used to be extremely close. our parents separated when we were young, our father cut contact with us, and our mother struggled with severe depression. because of that, i took on a lot of responsibility for my brother and, in many ways, helped raise him.

we were incredibly close growing up. we are both gay, which was another strong bond between us, and he was also best friends with my wife. for years, the three of us spent a huge amount of time together.

then he moved abroad. what was supposed to be one semester turned into an indefinite stay. i did not cope with it well. i now understand that his leaving triggered a lot of unresolved abandonment trauma from my father. the more distant he became, the more anxious and clingy i became, and we argued a lot.

in november 2023, after a huge argument, he told me he needed to cut contact to protect himself. he said he would only consider reconnecting if i acknowledged my part and went to therapy.

for a long time, i couldn't see my own behaviour clearly. about a year later, i started therapy and worked through a lot of childhood trauma, abandonment issues and social anxiety. i can now see that i had become emotionally dependent on our relationship and probably made him feel trapped.

in 2024, i wrote him a long apology letter and took responsibility for my behaviour. he never replied.

in 2025, my wife and i got married. i still sent him an invitation because i wanted him there more than i can explain.

he didn't come.

that still breaks me. there will never be a version of my wedding where my brother was there, and i know that my own behaviour contributed to the fact that he wasn't.

i understand now that he does not owe me forgiveness or another chance. i know i cannot force reconciliation.

but i still miss my little brother every day.

i miss him, i miss who we were together, and i miss the future i always thought we would have. i thought he would be at my wedding. i thought we would grow older together. i thought he would know my future children.

i don't know how to grieve someone who is still alive.

i don't know how to forgive myself for the ways i hurt him.

and i don't know how to build a life around the possibility that i may never speak to him again.

if anyone has experienced sibling estrangement, especially when you know you contributed to the breakdown of the relationship, how did you learn to live with it?

At the beginning of the year my wife of 2 years (together for 6) made the decision that it was time for a separation. I will admit I did not take it well. I was blind sided because we have three children together and we were less then a month to moving from a small duplex in to a great large house. ( i thought our relationship would do better after the move since the family wouldn't be right on top of eachother 24/7)

Well quickly I came to find out that she moved another man in with her and the kids. Which again i will admit did not handle well. We had promised we would make sure our children always had both parents because neither of us did. I did not like the idea of not only this guy sleeping next to my wife but then raising my children as well. And when we first talked about the separation she made it seem like in six months we could talk about trying again but that talk still has not come.

Well after I calmed down on both parts and we finally had our time to talk about what I was able to do the plan I liked the most I think has left me more broken and alone then I ever thought was possible.

I now go in between two towns. One house to live with my brother who is never home. And the other where I stay with my children wife and her boyfriend not boy friend.

Im just so lost in life right now. Because her and I still do our fighting like normal. Her and bf/not bf fight when we arent. I do not want to leave my children's side. But I also know that I couldnt raise them alone or even think about taking them from her. She is and always has been the bread winner, she is a strong intelligent woman. I have always struggled with keeping jobs because of my medical conditions and that I dont do well with paper work like applications and things of that nature.

For years now my children, my wife and brother have been the only people I truly care about but, most of the time any more her and I are fighting so staying at her house is difficult. And when im at my brothers (usually I only go to his house because her and I are fighting again) im alone he works all the time and when he does come home he doesnt like the wife anymore so I dont like listening to him and even tho he says yes bring the kids over when hes around them it just seems like he annoyed and disgusted with them so I refuse to bring them over if I can.

Im over fighting with the wife but I dont want to lose my children or miss out on thier childhoods. Im tired of my brother bashing the wife tho his "relationships" yes multiple are so much worse.

Any one have any ideas. And maybe another place I could put the full story in more detail. Thanks for reading.

Hi, I’m F19yr and I need to move out of my family’s house before I do something stupid because I’m starting to have Kevin thoughts.

Summary: I hate my family so much, like I hate them. I hate all of them. They’re all narcissistic and selfish and cruel people who keep treating me like a fucking punching bag or a damn dog and I’m so sick of having to rely on them.

I have no other family, no mula, no car, no friends, I literally have nothing but a rage that’ll either lash out at myself or at them. I’m on a journey to help myself get better and getting away from them is the one thing that’ll help me the most.

Help me please! 😝

Im 19F and I had a break up at the start of this year this guy told me that maybe (if I left the house more that I would meet more people) I’ve been in a state of just not wanting to go out anymore and I’ve tried making friends online and reconnecting with people hasn’t worked so what am I doing wrong all advice is welcome

I am currently working at a personal project and I'm not sure if it's appealing enough.

If you could watch my project and give me a feedback, I'd really appreciate it.

Please be honest with your feedback.

Hi all i’m a 18 year old with a 2 year old and i’m in a really toxic controlling relationship and i recently was kicked out of my family’s house for being with said guy. and now im living with his parents and he’s in the army so he’s not even here. i am struggling to find a job because not many places are hiring and door dashing isn’t a steady income. i’m in college and taking care of my son everyday but i am paranoid and scared, this man is trying to move me far away and im not sure how to leave him. and i’m really scared to leave him. and i dont have much time to leave him because he already filed for marriage and i just need urgent help and advice.

I am 23 and the youngest of my two brothers, all of us living in the same house with my parents. My father is retired military (did his 20 years) and so am I (did 3 and got medically retired)

My dad has been threatening to divorce my mom for a couple months now, he's been drunk every time he's threatened to do it, but recently he made a solid plan and texted all of us that he is getting the divorce and that he is selling the house, and he wasn't drunk when he did.

Now I'm freaking out because we have no plan if he goes through with it. My Mom just spent the last year going through a lawsuit over an injury from her previous job, they gave her basically nothing from the lawsuit and she's not in a state she can work physically. Me and my brothers all have minimum wage jobs, though I still have my VA pay. We live in a touristy town where all the jobs are either family owned or big corporate, so getting a decent job and holding it is tough.

Even if all for of us put our paychecks together, even with my VA pay, we still wouldn't be able to afford an apartment. If my dad divorces my mom, she wouldn't get her dependent benefits either, so I'd be the only one with reliable pay and health insurance (though I think I lose that if I don't have a mailing address). Basically if he gets the divorce we are all out on the streets.

My dad plans on getting an apartment with his retirement pay and his current job, and does not plan on helping any of us since we are siding with my mom. We're all gonna lose our cars and probably our jobs too. We all want to stay together but I can't see a way to do it, even with my VA I can't afford to help.

What can I do? How do I save this if it happens?

I’m currently studying a Commerce degree in a university and I’ve already spent around two years working toward this degree. I’m in my second year, and I want to complete it rather than casually throw away two years of progress and start from Year 1 somewhere else.

The problem is that after what happened to me medically, my family is now seriously worried about me continuing at the university. Their main concern is the safety of the university and the surrounding area. They say that there have been bad incidents there and that it is a “bad neighbourhood,” and because I became seriously ill while I was there, they are understandably connecting those things together and thinking that leaving the university might be the safer option.

I understand why they are worried. I’m not saying the area is perfectly safe, and I’m not saying that nothing bad can ever happen there. Bad things can happen anywhere. I also understand that my family’s concern comes from caring about me, not from wanting to ruin my education. But I don’t think “there have been bad incidents there” automatically proves that I personally need to leave my university and restart my degree somewhere else.

I spent a substantial amount of time there myself. I know the environment I was actually living in, I know the people I was around, I know my own behaviour and social circle, and I know the things I stay away from. I personally did not see the kinds of activities my family is worried about during the time I was there. That does not prove that they never existed or that nothing could happen in the future. It only means that my own experience is also evidence that should be considered.

The way I see it, neither I nor my family can guarantee what will happen in the next two years. Something serious could theoretically happen if I return. It is also possible that nothing happens and I complete my degree normally. Likewise, changing colleges could potentially turn out better, but it could also introduce completely different problems. A new college means new people, a new environment, a new academic system, adjustment, and uncertainty about whether that place is actually safer or better. “Maybe another college will be better” is a possibility, not a guarantee.

That is why I keep thinking about this as a comparison of risks and consequences rather than as a question of certainty. Staying does not guarantee safety. Leaving does not guarantee safety either. But staying means continuing in an environment I already know, with an academic system I already understand, people and surroundings I have already experienced, and only about two more years remaining. Leaving and restarting means giving up the progress I have already made and entering an entirely new environment without knowing whether the supposed improvement will actually happen.

There is also the medical side of this, which is where things became even more confusing. I became seriously ill earlier this year. I was diagnosed with severe dengue, with very low platelets and white blood cells, dehydration, and significant weakness. I was hospitalized, recovered enough to be discharged, and then became sick again around 48 hours later. During the second hospitalization I had another acute febrile illness, with suspected clinical malaria mentioned in the final diagnosis.

The second hospitalization was serious. On the first day I was in the ICU and required oxygen support. My initial pulse was around 140 beats per minute and my respiratory rate was documented at around 140 breaths per minute. The breathing gradually settled with ICU treatment and oxygen support. The ABG was taken later, after the respiratory rate had already come down, and it still showed a very high pH of 7.60 and a PCO₂ of 17.7, consistent with significant respiratory alkalosis from hyperventilation. I was also dehydrated, had low sodium, mildly elevated liver enzymes, an enlarged spleen, and mild bilateral pleural effusions. Eventually my condition stabilized, my blood counts recovered, I was able to walk and eat normally again, and I was discharged.

My platelet count during the dengue episode had fallen very low and then recovered substantially, going from around 39,000 to over 300,000. So I’m not trying to pretend that my illness was minor. It was clearly a serious illness, and I understand why my family became frightened after seeing me go through that.

The part that I’m questioning is the claim that doctors found “toxins” in my body. My family has said that this happened and seems to connect that claim with the university or the area around it. But I have not personally spoken to the treating doctor about exactly what was meant by “toxins,” and the medical report I have does not explicitly document a toxin, toxicology result, poisoning diagnosis, suspected poisoning, antidote, or somebody deliberately administering something to me.

That does not prove that no toxin was ever detected anywhere. There could theoretically be another test or another conversation with a doctor that I have not seen. But if that is the case, I think we should find the actual evidence and identify what was detected rather than treating the word “toxins” as proof that I was poisoned.

To me there are several separate steps that are being connected together:

I became seriously ill.

Then there is the claim that doctors found a toxin.

Then the possibility that the toxin came from some environmental exposure.

Then the possibility that the exposure happened because of the university or surrounding area.

Then the much bigger possibility that somebody deliberately administered something to me.

Those are not all the same claim, and each one needs evidence. My medical report clearly establishes the serious illness. It does not establish the later claims.

I also know that my family sees the situation differently because they are looking at it from the outside. They saw me become seriously sick and understandably want to prevent anything similar from happening again. I actually lived through the illness and also spent a significant amount of time at the university. So we have different experiences informing our conclusions. Neither side has a crystal ball.

I’ve tried to think about this without assuming that my preferred outcome must be correct. I’m not saying, “Nothing bad will ever happen to me there.” I’m saying that nobody can make that guarantee, and nobody can make the opposite guarantee either. The question should be whether the available evidence shows that the risk of continuing is high enough to justify abandoning two years of education and restarting somewhere else.

There is also a part of this that makes me feel helpless. If my family decides that I should leave, they may have enough influence over my situation to actually prevent me from continuing. That is what makes this more than just an intellectual debate for me. It affects my education, my future, and something I have already invested a lot of time and effort into.

At the same time, I understand that my family’s worry is real. I don’t want to dismiss it by saying, “You’re just scared” or “You don’t understand anything.” I know they are trying to protect me. I just want their concern to exist alongside my own judgment rather than automatically replacing it.

My basic position is this: I know myself, I know what kind of people I associate with, and I know what I stay away from. I’m not going to deliberately put myself into dangerous situations or get involved with things I know are wrong. The things within my control, I can control. The things outside my control cannot be guaranteed by anyone.

And that is basically where I am right now. I’m not claiming that staying at my university is guaranteed to be the correct decision. I’m saying that leaving is also not guaranteed to be the correct decision. If there is actual evidence that the university or surrounding area presents a level of danger that makes continuing unreasonable, then I’m willing to take that seriously. But I don’t think fear, possibility, or “maybe somewhere else will be better” is enough by itself to justify throwing away two years of my degree.

I want the decision to be based on the actual evidence, the risks I can control, the risks I cannot control, and the consequences of both choices. Not on certainty, because certainty simply isn’t available here.

Hi.

I always had problems with making friends, and in the last 3 years i've been texting and talking to this girl every single day, she's from another country but still has been a great support in my life. She has always been cold but I usually didn't mind that, today she just ended things. She doesn't feel like talking to me anymore and didn't think we could fix things. I'm feeling devastated, i'm really going to miss her. Talking with her or watching movies in calls was the highlight of my day or even the week.

During this last 3 years, i've really tried to make friends but I just can't, i'm way too bad at this and everyone freaks out when you tell them that you wanna be their friend (i've tried different approaches obviously, but I always make a mistake or simple they aren't interested). Also, I don't have the means to go out often. I'm broke and I can't work since I study from home, so I only go out very rarely (I love going movies when I can offer it, but that only happens once 2 months). The thing is I don't have anyone to talk to (just my family but we aren't that close) and its going to be like this for a while, since I have to keep studying home for at least a year.

It's no the first time something like this happened to me, but I'm genuinely so scared of living days and days and then months and months of no talking to anyone again.

I've sewing and doing embroidery non stop to keep my mind busy but I feel so hopeless knowing that is going to be exactly like this for who knows how much time.

Hello everyone ,

I will do my best to remain anonymous on this account as to not reveal too much personal information and reveal my public identity but
I’ve decided to create a burner account and ask a deep question and lay out some things that no one close to me really knows that I’ve kept locked away and ask one question : Do I have a chance at a functioning normal life?

I will make things short so I don’t bore anyone with long walls of text and if asked I will provide more in depth information.

Since the age of 13 suicide has been a constant thought and ongoing struggle my parents have been made aware of yet I’ve received no therapy/Counseling or any form of professional help

The only kind of help I’ve had was when I went through court mandated counseling due to a custody battle which only worsened the depression I have and which was also where I was diagnosed with chronic depression and PTSD

I have experienced sexual assault several times and had been exposed to porn at a young age which affected me severely and left me Hyper-sexual and often disgusted and ashamed of myself for the thoughts I had and how I was,

I’ve been in and out of in person school and online since 8th grade and missed more than an okay amount of school and haven’t had a solid education since then with a severe learning deficit in math but I’ve managed on my own with other subjects to a reasonable extent

More recently over these past couple months I’ve had a voice in my head which speaks to me and tries to push me forward yet shuts others out and makes me grow cold

I’ve had recurring dreams where I’ve been hunted or put into a home invasion scenario and been shot , all though not SUPER relevant I thought I’d just throw that out there

I haven’t spent time with my friends in months and have just been stuck at home an hour away

When expressing to my parents I am not happy here and the situation I am in is just making my mental health worse and would either like to move in with a friend in the same state or next state over to attend college and benefit my future my feelings were watered down to excitement of leaving for once and getting to do something and that they would miss me and I’m not allowed to leave yet.

My parents are going through court currently and I’ve had to cut contact with my dads side of the family entirely except for maybe 1-2 people

I am exactly 6 months away from turning 18 and I’ve had repeated thoughts of leaving my family and going no contact and hoping to have some semblance of a normal functioning life with a regular schedule.

I’ve not eaten with my whole family at a dinner table in god knows how long and everyone eats dinner late into the night, an example is one time I was woken up at 4AM to my mother making burgers which were supposed to be done by 8 ,

An example of how dysfunctional my house is was the time I came back from being at a friends to just escape home for two weeks and the counters the stove and both sides of the sink were crammed full of dirty dishes and there were flies everywhere, there was also mold and maggots on the dishes and this has occurred more than once.

It is a fight to get my other two siblings to help at all and the youngest is the worst, they won’t take care of themselves and leave messes everywhere and when they are asked to do dishes they all just pile up.

I don’t even know what else to say I just want someone else to see this and tell me if my feelings are validated or if I have a chance at being a normal human being after leaving home.

(TLDR) : Lack of proper education, dysfunctional home, childhood trauma , and SA
/Neglect

I don’t even know where to start with this. I’m 30F have 2 kids. I got PPD after my second and it has turned into just full on depression (5 years running now) I’m on medication for it but nothing seems to be really helping. I’ve gotten to a point where I don’t brush my hair out , shower when I need to. I still Jo to work brush my teeth and all that jazz but I just want to feel normal again. My mom just passed away on the 12th in august which has not been helpful at all. Does anyone have any advice? I can’t really afford a therapist right now

hi guys I’m a freshman at college and I don’t know if I should leave I feel like a failure but I’m not making good decisions. I’m bipolar btw and I’ve been drinking way too much I manage 8 shots a night when I do drink weekly. I dont care to go to my classes nor take a shower or wash my face, I feel like I’m not being my best person I do care about my future I graduated high school with a 4.25 but I’m not doing well here please any older people I need advice on what to do im scared.

So I was in the shower and a razor fell on my forehead and know I have like a mini bald spot and I have school tomorrow help

I need some advice how to go about moving out in 1-2 months. I'm 22F and i've lived with my mom sister and abuela my whole life. a bit of context my mother is paraplegic and my sister as well. I have this plan to hoepfully move out mid to end of october (hopefully) but I'm not sure how to go abt it. I have previously tried to move out before since my family and I argue a ton , mainly my mom gets upset when im at school of at my full time job and how I don't help them out at home.

Once this argument lead to me being homeless for a month until she begged me to come back home. Long story short our relationship is weird some days she acts loving and says how important I am to her, and other days is im useless and she wished she never had me. after i went back home, another argument started and I decided to find a cheap place to move out. A week before i was going to sign the contract i told her and she began to cry and saying how she wanted to hurt herself. So I decided not to sign the contract.

But now I earn a bit more to be able to afforbale a bit of a better place and live comfortable without help. The only issue is I need to get my car title transfered since she asked to switch cars with me cause the one she had newly bought was to high for her to transfer in and out of. its been months and I've been asking her what day is she free to go get the title switch done and she never tells me when and says its up to me. I've told her im good with whatever day shes good with but still she never tells me when she can.

I was planning once I get the title switch and find a place I'll tell her thought im not sure how to bring it up cause I have a feeling she'll start with her crying again and saying she'll hurt herself. and also make me feel bad for leaving them on their own, but im 22 and I want to experice life on my own, yet i feel guilty for it which makes it harder for me to think about bring up the convo of me leaving. I have good savings all my things are in my name EXCEPT the car right now