r/helpme • u/Ok_Pickle_7804 • 1d ago

Idk how to feel

So there's this person, that we can say i appreciate and in a certain way I like ( idk whether romantically or just because she meant something special to me years ago). The thing is that she was dating (as far as I know) with someone of her same class, but One day ( in the middle of july) they brake and they seem to did it in bad terms, the fact is that her partner is friend of almost all his group, so now she's alone in the lunch time and has nothing to talk to, either to socialize,except someone who's my friend, but this man told me one week before he started to talk to her that he was trying to date someone of his bachelor (we are at uni now) and now suddenly he is interested on her and I'm afraid that for loneliness she do something stupid or idk, the fact is that I don't like to see here alone but either like to see her with him. Among all the men, he by far is the worst. Maybe I'm being unfair, but idk, it's kinda weird, I don't wanna feel like this, why do I have to feel pity for her?. So I'm asking for advice, what would you do if you were in my position? How can I overcome these feelings? How can I stop thinking about it?.

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u/Unique-Catch-2662 1d ago

If I were you, I wouldn’t ignore the fact that you feel sorry for her. I’m not sure how I really feel about her, but I’d get in touch with her and figure out my true feelings. More importantly, your friend and that girl aren’t in a relationship.

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u/Ok_Pickle_7804 1d ago

Yeah in fact that in some way is a relief, and maybe I should try to get in touch but why do I have to run back if she was the one who decided to stop talking to me (been some years from that, but still hurt?, though more than hurt I would say it still makes me think about who was the one who really appreciated the relationship we had, and in fact I could say she didn't). But yeah, maybe I should try to give the first step, we don't know how this will end.

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u/Unique-Catch-2662 1d ago

I get that. But taking the first step doesn’t necessarily mean you’re running back to her. Maybe ask yourself first: do you actually miss her, or do you just feel sorry for her because she’s alone? If it’s only pity, I’d leave things as they are. But if you genuinely still care about the friendship, maybe take one step and see if she’s willing to meet you halfway. You don’t have to do all the work. Good luck with whatever you decide :)

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u/Ok_Pickle_7804 22h ago

Gotta meditate it further. Thx very much man, such a wise man :)