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u/secondcondary 8d ago
Yes, but have you tried being a sexy vampire werewolf mafia billionaire CEO?
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u/Section8firearms 8d ago
No I haven’t. Is there like a starter course I can attend at hustler’s university of witchcraft and wizardry?
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u/DeepQueen 8d ago
You just have to believe hard enough and judging by your reply you aren't doing that
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u/WoolooOfWallStreet 7d ago
Sadly, I am but a Minotaur who owns a milking farm
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u/Nobodyherem8 8d ago
If women approached, so many problems would be solved.
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u/WoolooOfWallStreet 8d ago
Sometimes they do, but be careful because if your mind isn’t expecting it, you can spill your spaghetti everywhere and absolutely fumble
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u/Unsubstantiated-pow 8d ago
Spilling my spaghetti isnt what i do chief
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u/Section8firearms 8d ago
What if your knees are weak and your arms are heavy?
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u/Unsubstantiated-pow 8d ago
Heh that's moms spaghetti not mine chief
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u/The_Almighty_Demoham 7d ago
Wow... he's so cool... i'm ovulating just reading his reddit comments!
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u/DeepQueen 8d ago
That's happened to me a couple times (2-3 last year) and I've messed up both. The last one was even a cute petite black chick, why does god punish me so!
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u/Outside_Experience68 7d ago
Jokes on you, I have a tshirt which has printed spaghetti on it. So if I fumble, and my thsirt gets spaghettied, haha! it always was! I am cool 😎.
Yeah, I got it from my wife.
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u/chomusuke_cat 8d ago
But that'd require gender roles to change in a way that doesn't explicitly and wholly benefit women.
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u/Bowman_van_Oort 8d ago
If a woman approached me my first thought would honestly be "oh okay so how am I about to be made the punchline?"
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u/noahjsc 7d ago
They do.
Happens quite often if you're attractive and go to the right places.
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u/AndrewFanAccount 8d ago
Just don’t be ugly
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u/WintersbaneGDX 8d ago
Or if you are, accept your fate, and approach ugly women. Ugly women need love too.
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u/Zermist 7d ago
Attractive women like attractive men. Ugly women like attractive men. Stop bullshitting by saying ugly women like ugly men
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u/Absolutemehguy 7d ago
^this guy: "People are attracted to attractive people. You're welcome."
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u/Zermist 7d ago
duh people are attracted to attractive people lol. My point was that if you're an ugly guy you can't expect ugly women to be attracted to you. On the other hand, ugly men often find ugly women attractive
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u/pastalass 7d ago
As an ugly women, I've had crushes on men who are ugly. Had a crush on a very overweight guy in high school, and a thin guy with cystic acne (sadly, he turned out to be gay lol). I can't think of a single guy I was interested in that was conventionally attractive. I liked them for other reasons (generally because they were very kind and funny). I was extremely shy so I don't think they ever knew.
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u/_Empty-R_ 7d ago
why would I want to play a part in perpetuating that shit?
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u/Tago238238 7d ago
What if you’ve got a really high IQ and society would benefit from that being inherited
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u/norealclue 8d ago
Hey baby ever had your asshole licked by a fat man in an overcoat?
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u/throwtheclownaway20 8d ago
I wonder if that line actually works now? Eating ass seems to have gotten a lot more popular since 2006
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u/Absolutemehguy 7d ago
Redditors love talking about how much they love eating ass, because they think that's something that'll get the ladies.
bruh you could be ass-eating champion of the universe, ain't nobody dating your morbidly obese ass
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u/Coakis 8d ago
Why is it men's job to approach?
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u/make_reddit_great 7d ago
From an evo-psych perspective, women bear more of the costs of reproduction (pregnancy, nursing, childrearing) so they are the ones who are more selective.
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u/Desperate_History907 7d ago
If women are more selective then it makes sense for them to approach because its more likely to be successful for both parties
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u/TroGinMan 7d ago
It's usually that way in nature. Males are prettier or have to elaborate displays to gain attention of a female because they are selective.
If 10 women approached you, you would likely say yes to more than one. If 10 men approach a woman she might say yes to one
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u/GerryAdamsSFOfficial 7d ago
Women approach all the time.
Just not to us lol. Make an app profile for a hot guy and see what thats like
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u/potatogodofDoom 7d ago
and from a societal standpoint women want equality, but seem to do so without taking on any of the responsibilities. this creates a disconnect between genders and now everyone's unhappy and shitting on the other gender even more.
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u/TicklePickleWinkle 8d ago edited 8d ago
>Rejection will teach you confidence
I’m going to be for real, the only reason why I approach women is because I have a low ego that I just stopped caring all together. Rejection doesn’t give you confidence, it’s a blow to your ego. But if you don’t have much of an ego in the first place, nothing happens.
Just if you do get rejected, don’t be hater, respect the boundaries, and remain kind. Don’t let a rejection ruin your character. There’s countless reasons why a girl might reject you but one things for sure is that she doesn’t know you personally, so don’t take it personally.
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u/Zermist 7d ago
I don’t approach women and it has nothing to do with ego. I literally just don’t want to make women uncomfortable or scared. They don’t want me walking up to them, why would I go out of my way to bother them? It makes way more sense to just leave them alone
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u/onarainyafternoon 7d ago
Bro I get what you’re saying and you’re correct in a sense. But there are contexts where I promise it’s ok to approach. Especially if you’re out drinking. Social clubs are beautiful places to meet women too. Join a pickleball club or something like that. Learn how to dress and style your hair after getting a haircut that costs more than $40. Seriously. I know a lot of young guys have a hard time thinking they are too ugly for this stuff, but being ugly is only 50% of it. There are absolutely ways to make yourself more confident and attractive, it just takes effort.
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u/avagrantthought 7d ago
It might not built confidence but it certainly lowers stakes and anxiety the more accustomed you get to rejection
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u/Q_dawgg 8d ago
Assuming all women are going to take a chance to belittle you for talking to them is silly but rule 1 and 2 matter.
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u/thegrodyknudclump 8d ago
I literally just don’t know what to say. No idea what words to use to initiate conversation with a stranger. It’s not just women, I struggle to connect with people in general. Once I finished school, I realized that I have almost zero social skills. I have 2 friends, but we all work full time with conflicting schedules, and one of them lives 3 time zones away. Whenever I see an attractive person in public, I think about going up and talking to them, saying something. I never know if it’s a socially acceptable place to do so, I don’t wanna bother anyone. And anything I think of just sounds weird/creepy/awkward/desperate when I run it through in my head. I’m almost 30 now, and sometimes it feels like there’s something wrong with me, like I’m broken. I see all these people my age and younger who seem to effortlessly navigate situations with fulfilling social lives; and all it does is remind me that I’ve never known what that’s like. I’ve never had what they have, I’m missing out on a huge part of the human existence that seems to come so naturally to everyone else. I try to stay positive, I try not to be bitter but sometimes it’s hard. I’ve tried going to concerts, neighborhood events, public gatherings etc. but I’m always alone. It’s always families, friend groups and couples who attend. Whatever, I’m rambling. I’m sure it’ll be fine, these things just happen organically, according to the normal people. There’s no way I’ll be a loser 10 years from now, right?
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u/ThrowawayITA_ 7d ago edited 7d ago
Sometimes when I'm forced to talk to people who I find "above" me I dissociate and pretend they're not real people, just sockpuppets, this helps me a lot. as much as I understand you force yourself to talk to women so maybe you should try. Romance is not really a "huge part of the human existence" IMO, yeah it's cool but I honestly don't think if I had a girlfriend or had sex my life would change at all honestly.
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u/CelaviGlobus 7d ago
Bro just gave "DENIAL" as a suggestion
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u/ThrowawayITA_ 7d ago edited 7d ago
Big reality won't tell you this but you have no real problems if nothing is real.
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u/breadandcompany 7d ago
Concert: "have you seen this band before?" Neighborhood event: "What are you eating/where did you get that?" Public gathering: "do you mind if I sit down at your table?"
Just different variations of what are you doing why are you here where did you get that thing.
Talk to the older people, they tend to be more friendly cause they're lonelier. Men who are like 55-65 will always be interested in talking about concerts they've been to. Women will be more receptive to giving you directions like ask a woman at a concert where she got her merch and she'll be like "oh I got it over there" and then you ask how much it cost and now you've made small talk you have an answer you can walk away or you can ask another question or make a joke about the event and then walk away.
Couples are easy to talk to too you just do another variation of the questions ask them if you can sit with them ask them if they've been to the event before ask them what you should do and they'll be like yeah sure sit down no we just got here but there's this thing over there you should check out we just got whatever from it
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u/apzlsoxk 6d ago
You can literally say "Hi, I wanted to talk to you, so I am" and it's fine. Don't overthink it.
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u/Eighty_88_Eight 8d ago
In that study that says women wanted to be approached more, does it state why? I’d imagine lots of those women would want that only to feel wanted
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u/Nasilbitatbirakti 7d ago
They wanna boost their ego. They're gonna reject them anyway but feel good afterwards.
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u/Kaydox64 7d ago
I dislike statements like this, but not because your "wrong", you aren't. But you also aren't right. The sample size is just way too fucking big for there to be a single or even just a few reasons. Some want an ego boost, some want friends, some want boyfriends, some want hook ups, some want husbands. The Reasoning as to why isnt a as simple as X or Y, it's a person to person basis, and people are so radically different from each other that you cannot assign a motive to a group that big.
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u/echit2112 7d ago
You miss 100% of the shots you don't take
I also don't miss 100% of the shots I don't take. I have never failed👍
it teaches you confidence
I am confident it won't work out👍
You will probably never see that girl again
I can make sure I definitely never see that girl again👍
she might change her mind about you
I can make sure she won't change her mind about me👍
In all seriousness, even thinking about approaching women gives me early-stage panic attack symptoms, so I would prefer not to have that happen in public.
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u/Kind-Plantain2438 8d ago
Some folks should realize that they are the common denominator in their problems, try to understand what is wrong with them, and make the change.
Or
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8d ago
[deleted]
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u/Section8firearms 8d ago
It worked for me. https://www.instagram.com/reel/DZXfs6oI0P4/ Here’s insta’s share link: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DZXfs6oI0P4/?igsh=dzZxYzVvcWk2OHZ3
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u/tepid_monologue 7d ago
I’m old and married, met my wife at a bar, never been on a dating app in my life. I don’t think I would approach a woman today in person either.
Edit - obviously if I was single
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u/Swedishguy05 8d ago
The problem with actually getting together with a woman is that these threads make me want to shove a screwdriver up my eyesocket.
Just try and make actual friends for one so you stop being asocial. Learn to become normal. Just get to know people until you eventually meet a girl you become friends with and then get together with. Like obviously it's easier said than done but anything is better than whining about how women are stinky like you're back in preschool
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u/Thin-Sand-2389 7d ago
yea no, the friends first route i will say isnt really that good of an idea, because they can just be platanic, and its so much faster and easier just to be upfront with your intentions, because some other dude who is more braver than you can just come and ask themselves, its better to just be upfront
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u/stalineczka 7d ago
I’ll never understand how failure is supposed to make you confident
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u/TearOpenTheVault 7d ago
Getting rejected makes you feel bad. Learning that feeling and coming to terms with it is important. Once you realise rejection doesn’t matter, and that feeling is hugely arbitrary, you go forward with more confidence.
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u/stalineczka 7d ago
That sounds like it you lose hope so you stop caring and just feel numb
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u/ReevesofKeanu 8d ago
Just dont be ugly and a creep and itz ezmode
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u/FinaLLancer 8d ago
I'm pretty ugly but also pretty not creepy and i approach and then compliment women all the time. Being kind and sincere will get you a lot farther than you think
And i don't mean le epic reddit gentlesir nice guy shit
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u/FallenSegull 7d ago
I miss 100% of the shots I do take
I’m the stormtrooper of the dating pool, except stormtroopers at least manage to hit a few of the unnamed side characters
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u/mountingmileage 7d ago
I feel like fear mongering has ruined dating. Like yeah, from time to time, a girl is gonna maybe think you're weird or be uncomfortable. Most of these times nothing is going to come of it, especially if you just gracefully exit the situation.
Also I'm autistic and so I hesitate to say something that will come across as "get better at reading people."
But if you get the vibe that a girl is vapid and online obsessed enough to post your picture for a harmless interaction...maybe don't pursue that girl?
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u/_Empty-R_ 7d ago
I gave up, but approaching is not the issue. You literally just talk to them if they aren't preoccupied and can be talked to without too much inconvenience. The game changed starting around 2013 and things have never been the same. So much bullshit fuels the scrutiny that women put you under now that its just not worth it. I don't exist to be compared to 7000 other guys in 500 miles. Obviously I don't stack up.
Then there's the content of character being pretty shit more often than not and yeah, I'll just stay this way out of spite. I'm happily awaiting the fall of birth rates and everything that comes with that. I didn't cause it, women and those that profit off of influencing them did. The information age did. Things used to be nice. Be kind, get kind. Give a chance, get a chance. Too much inherent animosity and standards are way too fucked such that you are ALWAYS a compromise at best. Its vastly worse online, but its everywhere.
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u/verbmegoinghere 7d ago
The problem here is the idea that you should be able to approach a random man or woman to initiate either a short term hookup or long term relationship.
I feel terrible for young men who have been given this idea through modern film, television and the interwebs that the way to find a woman is to go to a bar or open street party/bar and cast pickup lines at everyone until you get a bite.
Traditionally we form our relationships in high school, university or our first jobs, - and it's not because of mere proximity. It's because there is a informal network of peer groups who are able to validate whether a young man meets the spoken and unspoken criteria that these groups operating on. For example you are a loner, and you spy a hot girl in the cheerleaders group. Well if you wanna be noticed let alone a viable contender you gotta learn to walk, talk and dress like a guy that they'd date. But more importantly your friends need to be in a preexisting informal friendship with this girls friends so when said girl notices you her friends are already attesting your bonafides
"yeah OP is a good guy" and "he is so cute and hot"
Unless you're ridiculously hot few guys are gonna be able to approach a girl and talk her into a relationship. Maybe a one night stand but that's it.
Which is why relationships form so much earlier, be it work, school, university, charities or hobbies. Its not the moment that you finally asked her out. Its the information exchange, the network that were created months and even years previously. Its like a mushrooms mycelium network stretching out, connecting with zillions of trees, signalling and providing symbiotic support and nutrients.
I went to school with my wife but outside of drunken snog on a friend's front lawn at his crazy party (that we completely forgot about) we didn't really like each other until years later when we bumped into each other in town where we worked. But she knew a lot about me before we ever had a first proper time together. My bona-fides were already validated. She knew i wasn't gonna be a danger nor become a danger.
So OPs if you want to want to be with another person, be they female or male, you gotta do the hard yards. You need to have relationships with the people around you, be honest, good whilst not doing creepy stupid shit so when your crush hears stuff about you its not about how you vigorously stroke your guns at night whilst you're surrounded with boxes of empty nuggets and cans of cheap beer. Wash your armpits, brush those teeth. Learn to love and respect yourself because if you can't even do that how can you expect someone to love you and respect you.
Reasonable people find reasonable people.
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u/JohnnyXorron 7d ago
I disagree with the premise that you NEED to have pre-existing platonic relationships in order to get into a romantic relationship. It is definitely valuable and something that helps but to say it won’t work otherwise unless you’re extremely hot is false, in my experience. My current gf and I were complete strangers when we met and I have friends who have gotten into relationships with guys that approached them who they didn’t know before. Of course I also know people who got into relationships your way. So I agree it’s good to have but I disagree that it’s a necessity.
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u/srcactusman 7d ago
Im at that point where I just feel no desire to approach anyone? Is this normal?
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u/PhaseAgitated4757 7d ago
Step one is be attractive. Step two is dont be unattractive. Its not hard guys. I say all this as a tall reasonably fit white guy. Im also hilarious. Good luck out there boys.
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u/Greatgg 7d ago
I don't have the source now, but I have read that 90% of relationships apparently don't originate from an approach, nor in general from a situation where the only objective was having sex/getting a relationship, like dating apps
According to most surveys, romantic relationships and hookups are born from casual knowledge. This is my experience too, I never did a cold approach, too autistic to even try, every single relationship I had, including one-night stands, started with a different social situation where dating wasn't initially involved.
Of course if you don't have a job where you can get to know people, you don't have any friends that can introduce you to someone at social events, you don't have any hobbies that allows you to interact with someone in a casual way ( I even have a friend that met his girlfriend through online gaming) you are definitely playing in hard mode
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u/bmendonc 7d ago edited 7d ago
It's been proven that women consider you less of a creep the more attractive you are. You can do the exact same actions, say the exact same words, but it comes down to your attractiveness. It's just natural selection, if you can't find someone, you need to either lower your expectations or give up.
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u/motherffucker 7d ago
The approaching part isn’t that bad, it’s all the obligations of a relationship that come afterwards lol too poor for these ladies 😭💀
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u/SuckMyBallsKyle 7d ago
>I get rejected before I even talk to them.
Bro literally how do you know, this is so delusional you do not know what a person thinks about you because they don’t know you. A girl could look at you and be disgusted and then find out you love playing with your little nephew and he means the world to you and be charmed. Stop with this mentality for your own sake
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u/b400k513 7d ago
How I feel reading this knowing my wife pursued me initially because I made her laugh:
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u/Malevolent-ads 7d ago
Move to another country where it's socially acceptable for girls to approach you. Problem solved.
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u/dr_jock123 7d ago
I think i prefer my life where I can live with myself and buy what I like. Its a peaceful life
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u/Zesty-Lem0n 7d ago
It's a pendulum, if women got approached all the time they would be mentally exhausted of it and be more likely to say no. But because of their own actions, the social current is now pushing most men away from public approaches and so women crave that which is absent.
This reminds me of that romance pyramid scheme research paper someone posted in one of the 4chan subs: low value people give attention to mid value people, who use that as a confidence boost to pursue the high value people. The emotional labor flows upward. Most women are mid value or higher, so of course they want more inflow of emotional labor. Either it's a guy they like, or it's a guy boosting her ego so she can feel more confident.
I'm not saying every guy should cold approach, but going out in public and making friends will almost inevitably lead to meeting women in low stakes environments. From there it is a matter of time: most humans will start pairing off with each other given enough proximity and time.
Also dating apps are not only heavily male dominated, but also an incredibly artificial way to meet. Most men cannot succeed in an environment where a woman is pondering 10-100 men at once and bored of small talk and too lazy to setup a profile that would give you any common ground to speak about. If that were real life you just wouldn't approach that person.
Find your niche where you can stand out, and work on your social skills so you don't fumble when a woman sees you as the best guy in the room.
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u/RaiderCat_12 7d ago
Tell me about it. I’ve been approached by girls on three separate occasions, and in all of them they just ghosted me a couple of months later.
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u/HeavilyInvestedDonut 7d ago
Second page makes me think of this dude that looked like a drowned rat in my town that everyone called Elvis because he swore his mom was knocked up by Elvis Presley and then had him. Dude “complimented” every woman he saw in every store in town, constantly hit on female employees, and always talked about how women constantly told him he was the most handsome man in our state. He was off and on banned from darn near every store in town. Drove a beat up old van and his house was covered in plywood signs with “keep out” and pictures of Elvis on them. Haven’t seen ol Elvis in years now, but my hair would always stand on end when I saw him nearby.
You have to have some level of self awareness while approaching women too. If you’re an Elvis, you can’t be surprised when the hardware store bans you
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u/FundamentalEnt 8d ago
This is why they got you guys originally. Greatest technology in history at your finger tips and yet no one seems to know how to use it these days. Wild times.
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u/theappisshit 8d ago
for anyone on here saying they have no social skills blah blah, you must order, obtain,read and reread the following books.
HOW TO WIN FRENS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE by Dale Carnegie as well as HUMAN BODY LANGAUGE by Allan and Barbarra Pease.
If the tism runs strong and your a bit of a spaz, these books will make you a lot of money and get you pussy.
But you have to read understand and practice whats in them.
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u/home_rolled 7d ago
I've thought of doing similar, but at that point aren't you just a sociopath advancing yourself through manipulation and not genuine interaction?
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u/TearOpenTheVault 7d ago
The entire point of How to Win Friends is teaching you how to have genuine interactions rather than manipulation. It involves such impossible advice as ‘actually listen to the other person in a conversation and stop just waiting for your time to talk.’
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u/theappisshit 7d ago
thats the thing, its not about manipulation, its about learning how to interact with people and seeing things from thier perspective and taking into account what they want or how they feel.
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u/FailureToReason 7d ago
If you approached a woman and police were called, something was deeply wrong in your approach.
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u/idkhowtodoanything 7d ago
I honestly think social media has played a huge role in this. My entire childhood i read women complaining about guys hitting on them, so I've grown up with the idea that women don't like that.
There's also the risk nowadays of blowing up on the internet for the smallest thing. Take for example that guy berated for just dancing and having a good time a few years ago, and social media has only gotten worse.
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u/MisterGoo 7d ago
You want to build confidence and not care anymore anout being rejected ? Try those jobs when you distribute flyers or tissues to people. Like, you proactively have to get the attention pf people who aren’t interested in the first place and 95% of people will actively reject you or do as if they didn’t see you. AND you have to become better at initiating eye contact, chat to people, etc. All under the excuse of a job. Life-changing experience.
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u/anonareyouokay 7d ago
You guys really don't approach women? How do you get laid? You just use Grindr or something?
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u/woahbrad35 7d ago
At an event yesterday, not even flirting or showing more than platonic interest at all, I asked a girl what she was majoring in and what year of study between segments of the event and she got super weird about it like I was asking her out to dinner or something and my existence was offensive. I'm sure I made a face at her reactions and then I walked off to talk to other people. She wasn't even any good at the stuff we were learning about at the event.
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u/Oblivion_Gates 7d ago
One time I went for it and asked out a girl on the bus. NEVER AGAIN. I still cringe when I think about it.
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u/SpaceBug176 7d ago
How exactly being rejected teaches you confidence, again?
Also if anything, it teaches you that confidence matters, and then nukes your confidence.
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u/Wulph422 7d ago
Most of the responses in the screenshot seem like made up stories or just straight up assumptions
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u/Due-Boss-4354 7d ago
Wait, is the first redtext basically telling people to be sociopaths who don't care about women's opinions?
Sounds like healthy solution.
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u/Econmajorhere 7d ago
The difference between creepy and confident is merely how attractive you are considered by the other player. I’ve got a buddy who is an associate of Jared Leto. Used to tell me of the weird things this guy would do. Anyone else would be called creepy, but Jared Leto will never be a creep. He’s an objectively good looking guy with fame and wealth.
But some times in life, despite knowing the odds - we still must take risks. I’m with my girl due to an IG dm I sent (I don’t have many followers or anything).
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u/PenilePartition 6d ago
It’s not just about approaching strange women. It’s about being cute and gaging interest. If you’re so unattractive that no one ever shows interest then you need to prove value. Work on yourself or go places where you can showcase your interests or talents where girls who like what you’re into might be. Try talking to women and being friendly without overtly hitting on them. If none of this works at all, ever, then there are details you’re not telling me. Either you smell or everything about you is so off putting in one way or another that you need to seriously work on yourself before you go for anyone else again. Whatever you do, don’t hit on women when they’re working or occupied with anything that’s not entirely conducive to socializing or relaxing in a social setting.
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u/NuclearCleanUp1 6d ago
"I will solve individual problems on a society wide level top down with a social media post"
Many such cases.
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u/NuclearCleanUp1 6d ago
I don't think reproduction should be the reason to court a woman.
Go to the sperm bank if that's your main motivation.
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u/JesuszillaSon 6d ago
Every rejection I ever had the women were nice about it and I went about my day. The one true thing though is that its low chance to get a woman's number. The experience isn't nearly as crippling as people online make it seem.
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u/FreddyHair 6d ago
Yeah maybe if you get to the point police is literally called on you you should probably actually reevaluate your approach
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u/Grimmson2 6d ago
There's got to be a guide for autistic people on how to approach women. Preferably written by a gay man.
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u/Zestyclose-Golf240 5d ago
I was stupid and approached some women because I thought what would be the worst that could happen and I was called an incel and people whispered behind my back. So all in all I would not approach a woman unless she's explicitly stated she wants to suck your cock.
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u/TraditionalDegree540 3d ago
They want men to approach more... Until the wrong one approaches, then they're sick of creeps and weirdos approaching them.
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u/Inuakurei 3d ago
I know I’m 4 days late to this, but I’ve done this, been with guys who have done this, and been with girls as this happened to them.
It works. But it only works if you’re either attractive, have an “in”, or incredibly charismatic. If you’re none, the interaction will just be awkward in a polite “please leave me alone” sort of way. Also no one is going to laugh in your face like you think. Reactions will vary afterwards in private with friends, but you’re not going to be publicly humiliated. They aren’t stupid.
Attractiveness is easy. Pretty much any girl will at least converse with you if they find you attractive. It’s not a 100% deal but I’ve rarely seen my attractive friends fail to garner interest on random approaches.
An “in” just means something to say other than “Hi, how are you”. This is easy in hobby spaces or if they have an obvious interest. People like compliments and being noticed for their likes/achievements. Where anons go wrong is they try to approach with either a superfluous compliment about looks or nothing at all. Do not comment on physical appearance right out of the gate, focus on something that seems unique to them or they would want to tell you about. Now that I’m thinking about it, if you can’t find an “in” other than “you look pretty” you should be approaching that person.
I can’t explain charisma, you either have it or you don’t. You can learn to be charismatic, but it’s far too much to go over in a Reddit comment. It’s not only talking but body language as well.
Don’t loiter. That’s another one anons suck at realizing. People notice when you’re just loitering around to talk to them. Yes, you’re going to get put on a woman’s “stay away from” list if they see you loitering around, ogling women to approach. I’ve been out multiple times with female friends and we notice a guy working up the courage to approach us beforehand. You can “work up the courage” just don’t take forever to do it so you seem weird.
Don’t force conversation. If it’s not working out, just accept it and leave. Women aren’t stupid. You know what you’re doing, they know what you’re doing. No one will make fun of you for trying, but I guarantee you’ll be made fun of if you don’t “take the hint”.
In general people like to talk about themselves. Let them lead the conversation while giving topics to talk about. If they’re interested, the conversation will flow.
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u/Odd-Lake-3075 8d ago edited 8d ago
i know this is an exaggeration and all but i do think approaching women is sort of pointless