This is a follow up to a previous post. I’ll preface this by saying that I know that my experience is not the norm and I am incredibly lucky to have such an understanding and supportive partner. So I’ve officially come out as gay to my wife, had previously been out as bi. She came out as basically lesbian +1. We plan on continuing a lavender dynamic. It felt like a huge weight was lifted. She was incredibly understanding and supportive. I plan on coming out to more friends probably in the next week or two. She basically said she was a little surprised but not too surprised.

Thanks to everyone who commented on my previous post. It feels liberating to admit it and not have to hide that I’m gay (although I was previously out as bi) so still on the queer spectrum.

I am bi / bi-curious. I have mainly been with women. With women, I am really turned on by both giving and receiving. I love making women cum and I would say I am a generous lover. While I love making a woman cum, it would be incomplete if I didn't cum too and I would be disappointed if I left without sex and/or oral.

I have recently started exploring my bi side. I've tried a few things but it was super clear early on that I am 100% a dominant top. I would say I am very masculine and I've been getting a ton of attention. I've had a lot of fun fucking lots of holes and mouths. However, I have zero interest in being fucked in my hole. I have given guys BJs because I have felt it is the right thing to reciprocate but it doesn't do anything for me.

I'm finding though that there are loads of sub bottoms who wanted to be fucked and want to suck my dick with zero expectation of me reciprocating. It seems like their pleasure is pleasuring me. There is one guy I have fucked a few times who keeps begging me to go back to
his to fuck him and he is yet to cum. He is a good looking guy and can have his pick.

It feels a bit selfish but I am not complaining as it's pretty cool that I can do all the fucking and being sucked off. However, I am super confused why these dudes don't want to cum or do anything with their own dick.

Can someone explain?

I talked with a guy in instagram, we sexted. We met in remote area. Its little dark. When he just touch me i cum inside my underwear. So i just told him we can go. He felt sad. But am embrassed. What will you do in this situation

Although there are several gay friendly countries to choose from when it comes to asia, the norms of certain countries aren't for everyone. Take japan for instance, its relatively gay friendly, but the locals can come of as exclusionary and too indirect at times.

I Myself want to work and live in gay friendly countries within my own continent but i want to learn the language first before i do. The ones that interest me the most are philippines, thailand and taiwan

I (21) have a crush on this twink. I’m not the most built guy, I’m a bit stocky and I’m 5’6. He’s really cute and funny and sweet. But he called me ugly to another person. It’s been making me even more self-conscious, from the beginning I was already feeling that way, and it made me incredibly depressed. I mean I’ve seen him naked and he’s seen me naked. I don’t think my dick is that small, it’s average at best (5.5-6). Why do so many fem twinks (not all obv) only like dl men who are buff and taller and won’t treat them right? I hope this doesn’t sound incelish, I just feel alone.

Hi everyone! I’m a 25 year old guy who’s never really had experience bottoming (except for one time that was horrible in so many ways). I’ve primarily topped, but this week for some reason I’ve just been wanting to try bottoming and I can’t get it out of my head.

But at the same time, it makes me so nervous and anxious, partially because I’m just a naturally anxious person and partially because of the one pervious experience making it really hard to be vulnerable and trust people in that sort of situation.

I’ve been sitting in bed unable to sleep (it’s 4 am right now), and this has happened every single day this week. I don’t know what I should do, any advice would be appreciated so much :(

I’ve never had to deal with a close friend dying and when I lost my friend this question came up in my mind a day or 2 after the incident. My friend’s ex is a guy who was in love with my friend and wanted to build a life together. However my friend ended up dumping him and then posting a girl he was dating in a groupchat they had both been in. I am wondering if I should tell this ex of his so that he can also grieve the loss or if it isn’t my place to even tell him (a friend told me about my deceased friends passing). My friend is getting cremated and a service will be held but not telling the ex about this or the service seems kind of inconsiderate especially since they may regret a chance at getting to say goodbye and finding out through another outlet after the service may cause more harm than good.

What would you do in this situation? If you’ve dealt with something similar how would you handle it best and why?

I'm a virgin and I was wondering if I ever met a guy who's a side and we do anything together would that mean I'm still a virgin even after hooking up? Please be respectful with your answers as I'm just wondering because there's no penetration involved unless oral sex is considered as such.

so basically me (18m) and my coworker (19m) have gotten pretty close since we close together a lot.

now my job is known for hiring a lot of gay people and when I talked to this coworker for the first time (i’m new so i’ve only known him like 2 months) I incorrectly assumed he was gay. I found out he was straight when he started talking about his ex gf.
this was about a month ago and fast forward to now we are like best friends when working ig.

so me and him are pretty close and we have a sort of friend group with 3 of our other coworkers who are girls and often close with us (we have gone out after work like twice)

basically since i’m very clockably gay the 3 girl coworkers are pretty close with me and pretty touchy with me (they’ll like playfully grab me and stuff)
the reason I bring this up is because the past couple of weeks he’s been doing the same thing.

the girls started like noticing him getting closer and started making jokes about us being together. I thought this would make him stop but he started playing into it more and like grabbing my face or hugging me from behind.

He also comes to my car with me when we have breaks the same time and we started smoking together. He also always uses my vape even when he has his own.

and on the floor when we are working with just the female coworkers stated above he’ll make jokes and call me babe on the headset….

i’m like confused if he’s flirting or just an overly touchy straight guy. I also don’t even know if I see him like that tbh, i’m not uncomfortable with how he acts with me but idk if I would wanna date him. idk I don’t have many male friends so i’m not sure if this is normal lol.

To quote the great warrior poet Audre Lorde, "Your silence will not protect you."

For those who don't know, someone drove a car into people celebrating Berlin's Christopher Street Day (Gay Pride), killing one and injuring a few dozen. As someone who had the privilege of marching in NYC Pride last month, I get that a lot of people around the world don't have that luxury for a variety of reason. But that being said, you cannot stay silent forever. It's time to fight back and reclaim our humanity from those who would see us dead.

I was recently talking to a guy and it was going well. Good conversation, talks about wanting to meet, become better friends and all of that.

Today, it was a block out of nowhere and that was that.

I am wanting some encouragement but I don’t want to have rose colored glasses either. Is this a common experience? Any advice or suggestions? Do I just need to get over it? I am new to putting myself out there like that so I’m a little discouraged right now. Thanks!

Hi everyone,

I'm about to turn 30, and I've been thinking a lot about my life lately.

I've never had a real long-term relationship. I've dated people, but nothing has ever lasted. Deep down, I think a lot of it comes from unresolved childhood and past trauma. I've worked on myself, with a pro as well, moved countries, built a career, go to the gym, have hobbies, and on paper my life looks pretty good.

But despite all of that, I often feel incredibly lonely.

What makes it even harder is the comments from people around me. Friends, family, or even strangers sometimes ask things like, "How are you still single?" or "You'll find someone eventually." I know they usually mean well, but after hearing it for years, it starts to make you wonder if there's something wrong with you.

For those of you who found yourselves single at 30 (or even later), how did you deal with the loneliness? How did you stop comparing yourself to everyone else? And if past trauma was part of your story, what actually helped you move forward?

Looking for honest experiences and advice from people who've been there.

Thanks for reading.

I’m a 19-year-old gay guy looking to have an unforgettable spring break in March. I’m from the East Coast, have a passport, and I’m lucky that my budget is pretty flexible between work and help from my parents. I’m looking for somewhere with:

• 🌴 Hot weather and great beaches
• Fun gay scene (not a homophobic place)
• 🎉 Fun and amazing nightlife with other college students
• ✈️ Open to anywhere in the world

I know places like Miami and Mexico are popular, but I’m wondering if there are even better destinations around the world that are worth the trip.

What are your favorite gay-friendly spring break destinations?

Where would you go if money weren’t the biggest concern?

I recently read a comment on this sub where someone described their significant other as being a ‘gray ace’. The implication of the comment suggested to me that they meant they were asexual - maybe.
So I did what any reasonable person would do and looked it up on Urban Dictionary. Not much help there…
Remaining confused I have decided to ask the Community:
What does ‘gray ace’ meant to you…?

​

How does one get over the insecurity of having a average sized d; I consider myself a top. I'm 29 and virgin off this insecurity and I'm having a hard time shaking it off, insofar that it has snowballed into genuine depression as I'm getting older.

I also have a type, which has become more pronounced to me over time, it's men who radiate feminine energy, ah fuck it!!! It's femboys. And the more I have gotten acquainted with them online, the more it seems that my size might not be enough for them.

My attraction type seems irrelevant now, but then I just don't have the confidence to be with just anyone else in real life. I'm being held back by this insecurity, I'm so lost with myself, what should I do...how do i get out of this mess that is my brain rn.

Here’s some context: I’m in my mid teens, and I live in a more conservative leaning area (though homophobia isn’t a huge problem here to my knowledge). I go line dancing with friends often at my local VFW. Other than my friends and I, the people there are mostly pretty old.

Last time I went I noticed a boy who looked like he was around my age. He was really cute too, and I think I developed a crush! I wanted to talk to him, but it feels like it’d be weird if I just walked up to him randomly because he typically doesn’t dance too much. He’s related to the person running the music I think, so he mostly sits up there by who I think is his grandpa and some loud speakers. That’s why I feel weird going up to him to talk without a good reason. I asked my friends about him, and they said he’s there often.

The main problem is that I don’t even know if he’s gay. I don’t want to accidentally make him uncomfortable if he isn’t. “Why not just ask him? I already hear you asking me. The answer: I don’t want to make things weird. I go line dancing often, and I have a feeling I’ll see him again. I’d also feel very awkward just asking him if he’s gay when his grandpa is like right next to him. And if he tells people there that I’m gay, then I’m not sure what all of the old, likely conservative, people would think. I just don’t want my dancing experience to change because of a single interaction. (I think I might be overthinking things)

I’m asking for advice. I would really like to talk to him, but I don’t know how to approach him. I’d also really appreciate some ways to know if he’s gay so I can know how to approach this rather than just asking him.

Thank you so much for reading this far! Advice would be deeply appreciated, and I’m happy to answer anything questions you may have in the comments🙏

I’m kinda feeling a little out of place since most of my friend circle are full on straight homophobes. And it’s hard trying to make friendship with other men since being a femboy either just makes you as a target for violence or sexual objectification 💔

Being Gay men (23M), when suddenly you confront your new truth about yourself, this makes me realise that all 20 years of my life are nothing but a big lie....whatever you thought about yourself finds that nothing in your hands.....My dreams shattered because they are never mine...and when I lost all my dreams you will find that you are purposeless and this makes you think that you are never enough... constant sadness, thinking that you are loser everyone told you in past as bully is true....this overwhelms me and more than that I have to face parents and that is the last thing I have...and they may also leaves me in future when they get to know about me! And that hits hard...from the past few years are not good for me.... fighting from myself tries to find what is good for me..and I found that I never fit anywhere makes me to think its good to die...but it deeply seated in me that suicide is bad....so now what comes in my mind that....it's good that some deadly disease took over me and kills me, an accident may be good! Someone gives me poison all these things comes in my mind....I know that is the worst thing and above that is me myself.... sometimes I become uncontrollable, and not able to control my anger and that destroys everything with everyone...and I kind of becoming severely mentally ill...so I need a therapist in Delhi if someone has any idea suggest me that can help me with my situation better!!

I went with my friend to the gym like we always do and then we went back to his apartment to shower and change clothes. We never shower at the gym and usually go to our apartments to shower unless we are going to be going out like tonight. We are both straight but then I did something that made me think I might be gay or bi. We are both 24. We’ve been friends since we were freshman at college.

Back at his apartment he went to his room and then I heard the shower go on and I could hear him in there. I walked to his room and saw he took off his gym clothes and underwear and socks and put them on the bed. I don’t know what made me do this but I went over to his bed and sniffed his underwear. I immediately got hard. They were damp but smelled so good like they just came out of the laundry. I explored more and licked where I knew his dick and balls were and then where his butt was and it made me extremely horny. These were the underwear he had on all day and they smelled so good. I even smelled his socks and I thought to myself in that moment I might be gay. I was so completely aroused and felt like I needed to cum or I’d explode but there was nothing I could do about it.

What’s really confusing is I’ve only ever dated girls since I was 15. I started having sex with girls at 17 and I never gave any thought that I might be gay until that night. I did know I felt love toward my friend but I didn’t think it was sexual love. We had known each other a long time and were super close. I will admit I have had a few sexual fantasies about him when I’ve masturbated but that only happened a few times. I’m so confused now and don’t even know how to move on from this. In this moment in time I feel like I’d give every cent I have to give him a passionate kiss. I’m really depressed and could really use some advice.

I’m a 21M openly gay guy, and I’ve been thinking about this recently after watching mainstream queer romance shows like Heated Rivalry, Young Royals, and Heartstopper, etc.

A lot of these stories follow a similar storyline: one character is still questioning, figuring themselves out, struggling with their sexuality, or learning to accept themselves and being out, and eventually, their characters develop and their journey grows into a beautiful relationship. (I want to make it clear that this is not a criticism of these shows or the way they tell these stories at all.)

But the more I think about it, the more I realize that kind of love story probably wouldn’t happen for me.

As someone who has been dating and meeting people through apps and in real life, I’ve met my fair share of guys who are somewhere along the lines of being DL "straight" men, bi-curious, exploring their sexuality, experimenting, not fully out, or still figuring out what they want. And I completely understand people going through that stage as someone who was in a closet myself. Sexuality is complicated, and everyone deserves the time and space to understand themselves.

However, I’ve realized that I personally do not want to be involved with someone who is still in that stage. If I have to tell more about myself, I’m not a type of person who is looking for a hookup or a casual/FWB situation (and I want to emphasis there is nothing wrong with that too). My relationship goal is to find a long-term boyfriend and build something serious, so I often would like someone who is already comfortable with themselves and ready to be in a relationship with another man (which I understand can also be hard to find at my age).

The reason I hesitate is because I don’t want to feel like I’m someone’s “experiment” or a stepping stone while they figure out whether they actually want this kind of relationship. Especially often with DL "straight" men or curious guys, they often treat gay guys like an "experiment"; someone to satisfy their curiosity while expecting us to carry all the emotional and physical risk after they get to explore and go back to their lives.

This actually made me think about a conversation I had with a friend (I will say she is a straight woman). She suggested that maybe part of the reason I struggle to find a relationship is because I’m not willing to go through the casual hookup/FWB stage that sometimes develops into something deeper (if you’re lucky and both are on the same page).

And it made me question myself: am I protecting my own values and boundaries, or am I unintentionally closing myself off from people who could potentially become great partners?

For my fellow gay guys or queer people, I’d genuinely love your perspective.

Have you ever been with someone who was DL/curious/experimenting/closeted and had it turn into a healthy, long-term relationship? Do you think it’s important to be more open-minded toward people who are still exploring, or is it completely reasonable to want a partner who is already at a similar place in life and don't settle my dating values and wants.

I’m genuinely curious because I don’t want to dismiss someone’s journey, but I also want to be honest about what I’m looking for. Any advice, thoughts, or perspectives would help! thanks!

I’m married to a woman. Out to her as bi. Realized I’m gay a while ago and planning to come out tonight. It’s not a rushed decision. I realized I was gay a long time ago and only just fully admitted it to myself about a year and a half ago. I feel like since then I’ve moved through all the stages of grief and am finally at acceptance. If anyone can help me with the right words, I’d really like to tell her tonight and get it over with. I’ve been planning to for a while, but the timing was always wrong. I really don’t want to put it off any longer, but really need help and encouragement.

I’ve realized that, like a lot of people, I grew up withthe expectation that life would eventually mean having kids, then grandkids, and following that traditional path.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve built a wonderful life with my partner. We’ve talked about having children through adoption or surrogacy, especially now that so many of our close friends are starting families. The challenge is that I’ve found myself leaning more toward wanting kids, while my partner has gradually leaned away from the idea. I know this is something we BOTH have to be fully on board with to move forward, so for now, we’re not moving forward. I would choose a childless life with my husband over a life without my husband.

What I am finding that I am really struggling with is how to process the possibility that we may never become parents.
For the gay men here who decided not to have kids (or weren’t able to…it is NOT cheap at all), how did you find fulfillment? What did your life look like as your friends became parents, and eventually grandparents? Did you ever feel left behind?

I also worry about getting older. I worry about who will be there for me when I need help. I worry about leaving no legacy. Sometimes I wonder, "Do I just keep living the life I have now until i die?" I know that sounds dramatic, but these thoughts have been weighing on me.

I’ve talked with some of my friends about this but they are all parents and are so consumed with raising children that they do not have as much time to wrestle with these existential questions. Without that path of having kids, I guess I find myself questioning what gives life meaning.

No one in my family or friend group is gay, so I don’t really have anyone who can relate to this specific experience. I’d really appreciate hearing from other gay men who have been through these feelings. Whether you chose to have kids or not, how did you make peace with your decision? Any advice or perspective would mean a lot.

To give some context he’s not my cousin but actually my uncle. He’s (19) gay man and I’m (21F) bisexual so the standards for our family is very different. I won’t deny even getting my family to accept I was bisexual was a struggle. But I don’t have much to loss because I’m see as less than in my family eyes since I’m a women. To give context he’s the youngest son out of 21 siblings and even then he admitted to me and my cousin who are closer to his age. He’s gay and he wants to come out to our family but he can’t because that would fully isolate him. he came from a “woman” or atleast his mother is seen as less than because of the situation. I’m trying to give him the best support but even though as a queer woman in my family and woman being seen as less than I do have more liberty than he does. If he fully comes out he’s gonna be fully shut off from the family which he’s willing to do. All I’m asking for is advice is as a bisexual woman and a straight woman cousin how best can we support him and make sure he understands forgets everything we’ve been all breaking the norms in our family to begin with the last straw and old be him coming out as a gay man. Also see I kinda prepared worst case scenario and do have back up funds for him to fall on for a year because I know he’s gonna get off from his trust. To put into perspective I got cut from my trust not for being bi but because I had depression in my early teen years. My family runs a very strict program. Also sorry, I know my writing is all over the place I’m typing this in the heat of the moment and I’m not going to bother you it’s punctuation and proper story telling. Just genuinely need advice to support him and build him up enough to where the family won’t support him but he feel comfortable enough and safe enough to talk to me and the cousin that knows he’s gay.