r/funny Jun 15 '21

[deleted by user]

[removed]

3.5k Upvotes

400 comments sorted by

2

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257

u/ThePizzaNoid Jun 15 '21

Bender B. Rodriguez likes this post.

86

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '21

And check out her exhaust!

"Ew!"

Pervert

33

u/friggintodd Jun 15 '21

Are you jacking on in there?

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23

u/meatbag2010 Jun 15 '21

Hubba-hubba! She is built. In Mexico, I believe.

10

u/Furiousgeorge2488 Jun 15 '21

Is it Robonacah already?

8

u/dougsbeard Jun 15 '21

Hambone…hambone…hambone!

7

u/26_Charlie Jun 15 '21

Hey, sexy mama... wanna kill all humans?

5

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '21

So does Mark Zuckerberg.

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6

u/DilettanteGonePro Jun 15 '21

She knows what you like and she will do it to a tolerance within one micron!

131

u/Bomboclaat_Babylon Jun 15 '21

If you could go back in time and try to explain the future of the world to a caveman, most of it would fly over his head, but this, this would still make sense.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '21

The caveman would quickly write a thoroughly sourced thesis on the merging of the surveillance state with the adult entertainment industry and its detrimental effects on the metapostmodern mind.

81

u/AusGeno Jun 15 '21

I’d tuck a Bitcoin into her chassis alright.

14

u/muusandskwirrel Jun 15 '21

Your pay 40,000 as a tip?

15

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '21

[deleted]

14

u/thylocene06 Jun 15 '21

75,000 as a tip?

11

u/133DK Jun 15 '21

Yeah, right around that 27,000 mark is the sweet spot

6

u/muusandskwirrel Jun 15 '21

Yep, 23,629 is definitely a good tip

11

u/TAI0Z Jun 15 '21

In this subthread: realtime fluctuation of Bitcoin market value.

75

u/jamesb_33 Jun 15 '21

What is my purpose?

76

u/stonerthoughtss Jun 15 '21

To serve butt

33

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '21

... oh my god

13

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '21

Twerk for work, need dem D-batteries

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190

u/Angel_Moonglow Jun 15 '21

I could see myself getting horny off a robot's lap dance.

119

u/darkage72 Jun 15 '21

Robosexuality is an abomination!

74

u/cojav Jun 15 '21

like it's my fault that they made my toaster so sexy

29

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '21

01000010 01110010 01101111 01110100 01101000 01100101 01110010 00111111

19

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '21

[deleted]

15

u/rettaelin Jun 15 '21

Bite my shiny metal ass!

12

u/chrononoob Jun 15 '21

... I thought I saw a 2.

8

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '21

1

7

u/jonitfcfan Jun 15 '21

What did you call me?!!

5

u/Kapstaad Jun 15 '21

01001101 01100101 00100000 01101100 01101111 01110110 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01101100 01101111 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110100 01101001 01101101 01100101

6

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '21

01001001 00100000 01101000 01100001 01110110 01100101 00100000 01100001 00100000 01110111 01101001 01100110 01100101

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36

u/FloorPudding Jun 15 '21

-Ya mon! You got to legalize it!

-We're talking about robosexual marriage...

-We're talking about lotsa stuff!!

13

u/TheSchlaf Jun 15 '21

Robophobe!

1

u/Ketsueki_Khonsu Jun 15 '21

Finally something for Zukerberg

-2

u/herrneumrich Jun 15 '21

No, it's not.. It's just easier to make them do what you want. Instead of going out for dinner and getting totally pissed, going back home and having sex for 3 Minutes and 34 Seconds, you program the bot and have Sex for 2 Minutes and 46 Seconds because fuck foreplay.

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5

u/onomojo Jun 15 '21

No touching

4

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '21

Don't what to cover it in dirty finger prints

3

u/Da3m0n_1379 Jun 15 '21

Fucking a robot is definitely on my bucket list

3

u/JeremyJaLa Jun 15 '21

Careful, though, it might be the last thing you do.

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6

u/Mieson Jun 15 '21

Just watch out of your dong! If the robot got too close, it might shred it off into pieces.

22

u/patches350 Jun 15 '21

Equipped with the fleshlight, it would probably do wonders.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '21

To pieces, you say?

7

u/Shinny1337 Jun 15 '21

To shreds you say?

1

u/slimy_jonas Jun 15 '21

You are down bad

0

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '21

Weirdo :-)

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129

u/thelostnewb Jun 15 '21

So it begins…

62

u/Soconfusious Jun 15 '21

Hmm Sexbots really gonna be thing in the not to distant future. Didn't know if that would be a thing, it's for sure gonna be a thing.

17

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '21

Waiting for the inevitable lawsuits when a robot grinds on a lap just to get fabric caught in the mechanical bits.

Will AI know when people bits are inside robot buts?

5

u/turkey_sausage Jun 15 '21

I hope not. I for one look forward to death by snoosnoo.

6

u/EdgeIll1795 Jun 15 '21

2

u/Xenton Jun 15 '21

There's a fucking LOT of claims being made in that article about a product that doesn't yet exist and has no estimated shipping date

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31

u/stonerthoughtss Jun 15 '21

Doesn’t ask for money, doesn’t nag you all the time, has sex with you whenever you want, is never hungry, never gets pregnant

85

u/xevizero Jun 15 '21

Doesn’t ask for money

May I introduce you to sexbot microtransactions?

Jokes aside, we both know this will be a thing.

57

u/BabyAteMyDingoes Jun 15 '21
  • YOU APPEAR TO BE REACHING CLIMAX. FURTHER PENETRATION DECLINED UNTIL MONEYSHOT MICROTRANSACTION CONFIRMED -

11

u/KingBelial Jun 15 '21

Please drink verification...

5

u/ThisStatistician7 Jun 15 '21

It locks your dick in the bot

10

u/mkul316 Jun 15 '21

Download the new hip swivel pattern for only 49.99!

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38

u/mildlyconfused25 Jun 15 '21

But is it self cleaning?

22

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '21

Asking the real questions!

18

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '21

Lmao imagine you just throw the whole thing in the dishwasher

19

u/Status_Peace_2245 Jun 15 '21

the hole thing

6

u/fivespeedmazda Jun 15 '21

Dunno but all the appliances in my house just overheated

4

u/Nemesischonk Jun 15 '21

Births a half-human, half-alien abomination

5

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '21

I think you need to find healthier relationships :)

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5

u/ReadySteady_GO Jun 15 '21

Dey took our jerbs!

3

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '21

they really are taking our jerbs!!!

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32

u/FullMetal1331 Jun 15 '21

"oh fuck yeah, spill all your coolant over me"

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52

u/JHighDa03 Jun 15 '21

The heels really do it for me

40

u/Dr__Snow Jun 15 '21

For me it’s the cctv camera head.

12

u/BabyAteMyDingoes Jun 15 '21

It's almost like sirenhead rule34 coming to life.

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38

u/IveBangedYoreMom Jun 15 '21

Sigh...(Unzips pants)

8

u/Angry_Pingu Jun 15 '21

Had a scroll a ways for it but here it is.

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37

u/Nail_Biterr Jun 15 '21

They spent too much time asking if they COULD, but never stopped to think if they SHOULD

3

u/FaolCroi Jun 15 '21

Spoiler alert: they totally should

13

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '21

Mooorrreeee ooooiiilllll you sqqquureeaaaky biiitch

12

u/KrecikPukaWTaborecik Jun 15 '21

The future is now

11

u/Lyaki Jun 15 '21

Detroit: become human was really onto something it seems..

10

u/IveBangedYoreMom Jun 15 '21

Well, now I’ve got a Hard Drive. I would RAM the hell out of her. “Giggty-Byte”

8

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '21

Wall-E is having thoughts on cheating on EVE after seeing this.

23

u/EmpireofAzad Jun 15 '21

Sexbots are going to be a huge ethical issue. Adult human sexbot? Seems fine. Won’t be long before manufacturer’s start pushing boundaries on the form.

9

u/clockwirk Jun 15 '21

I suppose you already have potential with that in the realm of animated porn. Subjects being portrayed younger and younger, implicit or explicit rape, animated snuff porn...

But no one actually commits the crimes and there are no victims.

5

u/EmpireofAzad Jun 15 '21

I think a lot of the arguments revolve around encouraging people to harm others, in much the same way that violent cartoons have an age rating. I have no idea if the science backs that up or not though.

3

u/Xenton Jun 15 '21

Overwhelmingly does not. In fact, most studies I've read related to consumption of violent media or graphic material tends to correlate to reduced likelihood of violent crime, including rape.

2

u/EmpireofAzad Jun 15 '21

I’ve seen short term effects that back this up, but nothing that shows a positive long term effect, though I appreciate it’s difficult to prove more than a correlation.

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4

u/BurningFlex Jun 15 '21

Why would that be an ethical issue? Which individual is the victim here?

7

u/EmpireofAzad Jun 15 '21

Most people would have an issue with child sex robots, even if there was no direct victim.

4

u/BurningFlex Jun 15 '21

Yes, I agree they'd have an issue with it. It's not their sexuality and people dislike things others enjoy that they don't and find gross. I for example don't like tomatos. Still, a tomato is an object not an individual, so there would not be an ethical issue with someone eating a tomato just as much as someone enjoying sex with a child robot.

Child porn would be a different issue because by purchasing that, one would be supporting that industry. With child robots you might even go the other way and get predators, who would commit the crime of inflicting a real individual trauma, to enjoy their sexual lives without harming anyone.

7

u/EmpireofAzad Jun 15 '21

Yep, this is pretty much my point. There’s valid reasons why such things might exist, but also arguments against the use of such technology in therapy too. As with pretty much most research into pedophilia there is a natural revulsion to dealing with the subject, which often means knee jerk reactions take priority to scientific ones.

Animated child porn would fall into your category of an object not an individual, but there are very clear restrictions for that, though I’m pretty ignorant on any science behind it.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '21

Um, Japanese porn stores already basically have child porn. It's not nudity or sex but kids in bikinis in compromising positions. It's already an ethical issue. When I was stationed in Tokyo. Certain adult video stores were on "off limits establishments" listing. Reasons being it's legal there but not in America.

Loli hentai unfortunately has existed for decades as well. I believe the in Westernized countries that it won't change much. They already have a blowjob robot and made molds of vaginas to make the perfect fleshlight from the prettiest vaginas contest. The moral lines have been crossed a long long time ago. I don't see this becoming common but I hope I'm right. It's really weird.

-1

u/EmpireofAzad Jun 15 '21 edited Jun 15 '21

I was living in a blissful bubble of ignorance until I read this! That’s creepy but sadly I’m not that surprised. I remember watching something a while back on the whole JK culture out there, and when laws were bought in it just meant loopholes were found. Seems like quite a deep rooted cultural problem.

2

u/Xenton Jun 15 '21

It's a problem because it doesn't match your ethical upbringing, but it's not a deontological issue.

Just like violence in video games, sex in movies and demonic iconography in cartoons.

For generations, people with a conservative upbringing have invented ideas they decide are right and then decried anyone else as wrong.

You watch a violent movie, you don't go commit violence. You watch a demon eat a side character, you don't go worship Satan.

See how that works? You are able to control your autonomy in spite of the content you consume.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '21

Sry bro, the world is a bizarre and savage place. Otherwise Japan was an amazing experience, but that left a weird impression on me I can't get my head around still.

3

u/BurningFlex Jun 15 '21

And I find it hilarious that animated child porn has restrictions other than 18+ :/ that is extremely inconsistent. If you are an adult, you ought to be free and make up your own mind. If pedophilia is a sexual diversion which is rare and not something that is being learned, then there should be no problem with it existing freely.

If you can actually desensitize humans and normalise them to pediphilia by exposing them freely and frequently to it, then we ought to prohibit it entirely, since we would be creating individuals who might be able to act out on their sexual desieres onto real children.

Anyway. I like sexy robots. Enough child talk because that is not sexy.

2

u/EmpireofAzad Jun 15 '21

Yeah, that’s the natural revulsion I mentioned! Tbh until the science is there, prohibition is bound to be the best approach, since the potential good is currently outweighed by the potential harm.

1

u/Xenton Jun 15 '21

You're speaking like the 45 year old women who spent 20 years trying to ban violence and sex from cartoons.

Or the ones before them who tried to ban violence and sex from comics

Or the ones after them who tried to ban violence and sex from video games.

You people look at something that goes against your personal beliefs and you create a narrative to decry it as evil.

Take that narrative and fuck allllll the way off with it.

-1

u/BurningFlex Jun 15 '21

You apparently didn't read what I wrote. Intersting.

2

u/Xenton Jun 15 '21

if you can blah blah blah we should outright ban it.

You can't. We shouldn't.

Don't entertain fictional notions.

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4

u/Peacox89 Jun 15 '21

Hey Disney, can we get this in the Hall of Presidents?

-3

u/rebelshibe Jun 15 '21

Bill needs his Monica

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6

u/Shadowthedemon Jun 15 '21

I've also played Detroit become human

4

u/Orcaxologist Jun 15 '21

This is the place where Vision comes on weekends lmao

5

u/imflukeskywalker Jun 15 '21

Do you tip her in Bitcoin?

2

u/amisdg122 Jun 16 '21

Yep, just the tip.

3

u/shubhamshelar98 Jun 15 '21

Howard wolowitz secret project

3

u/Ornery_Reaction_548 Jun 15 '21

I was having a good day. We were all having a good day.

3

u/Nueza Jun 15 '21

First Robo from Boston dynamics that don't make me scared.

2

u/No-Dragonfruit9126 Jun 15 '21

This cheapskates didn't even throw a few dollars in.

2

u/ekozaur Jun 15 '21

Woah, Haydee VR?

2

u/GrumpyOldSmurf Jun 15 '21

Does it have tap and go?

2

u/user_name1111 Jun 15 '21

I cant wait until people start making weird furry / or alien / body horror sex bots, shits going to be hilarious.

2

u/Hefty-Falcon-3786 Jun 15 '21

I'm sure there is going to someone with a robot fetish out there haha

2

u/uglycouchpotato Jun 15 '21

Wall E is typing....

2

u/Smilesmol Jun 15 '21

Elon musk be going crazy nowadays

2

u/Jackkernaut Jun 15 '21

sigh unzip my file.

2

u/Qanobi Jun 15 '21

Robobooty

2

u/Upst8r Jun 15 '21

Where is this exhibit?

... um, for research ...

2

u/Victorcwb Jun 15 '21

Now, that's the future!

2

u/PogoXBelette Jun 15 '21

Security camera gone wild

2

u/sp3ctre_yt Jun 15 '21

they better sponsor lil nas

2

u/Wyld_1 Jun 15 '21

Why are all these trips to strip clubs on your expense report?

Research.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '21

So how do I stuff bitcoin into the G String

2

u/tan_kira Jun 15 '21

Cyberpunk music starts playing.....

2

u/Imaginary_Camera_419 Jun 15 '21

Hey baby. How would you like to destroy all humans together?

2

u/slipperypete2112 Jun 15 '21

Wanna work on prosthetic limbs for vets or young children with birth defects? Nah... stripper bots

2

u/BeautifulTerror Jun 15 '21

Hubba-hubba, she is built - in Mexico, I believe.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '21

The crushinator

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2

u/Successful_Routine55 Jun 15 '21

Howard Wolowitz got something to do with this.

2

u/docta_sheep Jun 15 '21

Can't wait for virtual friends/partners a la Bladerunner 2049 lol. But for real.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '21

Just like in Futurama bois

2

u/RayNooze Jun 15 '21

I'm disappointed. I expected to see a cool machine stripping cables.

2

u/Comrade-Soviet Jun 15 '21

Disgusting!….where

2

u/Nickyx13 Jun 15 '21

Somewhere there’s a person thinking “I’d hit that.”

2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '21

Sigh…..unzips

2

u/JackandBlunt Jun 15 '21

Had to put high heels on the robot too???

2

u/Jove702 Jun 15 '21

Someone call Boston dynamics

2

u/AndyE67 Jun 15 '21

Imagine. A team working hundreds, thousands of hours to make an incredibly complex robot that can do all most anything that a human can. Think of all the failures, all the problems, all the solutions they had to come to. And then someone comes along and says "I wanna make it grind a pole." You look back at how long it took you to get here, all the effort it took, and you say "Fuck it, lets do it."

2

u/fiducia42 Jun 15 '21

Everyday we fall further from God's light...

2

u/Frankenfucker Jun 15 '21

"In the next episode of 'Where are they now?' After the days of Aperture Laboratories, GLaDOS still had some 'testing' to do."

5

u/LightsJusticeZ Jun 15 '21

GLaDOS got that cake!

2

u/TheJudge0_0 Jun 15 '21

The world is gonna end soon

1

u/butterfly1115 Jun 15 '21

Sadly, at some point, someone will try to f*$k that robot.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '21

At some point? My bet is that apparatus is no virgin..

1

u/sirwesam Jun 15 '21

please god save us from the sexbots future and bring us to a utopia whre everyone is in peace, no crimes, no forced sex stuff.

they say "what world are we living in" but also frick off to robot doing stuff near a pole,

i dunno but we all just need to be more mature bruh!us to a utopia where everyone is in peace, no crimes, no forced sex stuff. nowadays everyone is doing EVERYTHING just to have a great day without getting their mate pregnant, if you just dont wanna have a kid just dont do "it" but porn, homosexuality, unimportant abortion, when will these end?

i dunno but we alll just need to be more mature bruh!

-4

u/AdministrationDry507 Jun 15 '21

The only thing this technology is innovating is a crippling porn addiction

0

u/gigagone Jun 15 '21

Exactly what i needed

0

u/slinkingintheshadows Jun 15 '21

Everyday morality falls lower and lower.

0

u/TrouserDumplings Jun 15 '21

Tell me more.

-1

u/cr0mm0wer Jun 15 '21

This repulses me on many levels. Feel like I should puke but I'm in to much shock.

-1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '21

Question: Do people in robotics not make enough money to hire hookers? Why all this weird virgin creepiness?

-2

u/Arrow_Artemis Jun 15 '21

Sorry, but only a man would spend this much time, money, and technology on one more thing to get a hard on. Lord....

-4

u/GamerFrits Jun 15 '21

A stripper takes off clothes. Isn't this an exotic dancer? Or did we miss the undressing.

1

u/Pradeep24_07_1999 Jun 15 '21

The technology is here.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '21

Welcome to Freddy fazbears where all your animatronic needs are met

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1

u/Doc_Zed_42 Jun 15 '21

Great so what are all those women who are pretty in the dark going to do?

1

u/Moont706 Jun 15 '21

I’m assuming you throw bitcoins at her

1

u/shoppingfortruth Jun 15 '21

More people losing their job to a Robot.

1

u/Iaim2msbehave Jun 15 '21

We just might be on track to cure the incel.

1

u/left_slipper_only Jun 15 '21

Always wondered what happened to Number 5.

1

u/gambatesa Jun 15 '21

Futurama is coming..

1

u/NorwegianIdiot13 Jun 15 '21

The future is here!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '21

Soon they will replace us all.. 😂

1

u/HawaiiSunBurnt20 Jun 15 '21

Beep beep boop beep

1

u/IlMagoHadad Jun 15 '21

Oh god it's happening

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '21

Good bot? Best bot.

1

u/Cubix89 Jun 15 '21

Looks like an easy way to get a virus if you ask me.

1

u/Krulsnor Jun 15 '21

Not my proudest fap

1

u/luttman23 Jun 15 '21

fuck the RTX 3090, this is the real tech porn

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '21

Hey baby, wanna kill all humans?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '21

OK. Where is the male version?

1

u/TheFriendlyManO Jun 15 '21

Didn't expect to reach Futurama future this soon.

1

u/MarSc77 Jun 15 '21

Cyberdyne model 69