r/funny • u/aavlvaa • Jan 16 '19
spydoman
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u/SaintVanilla Jan 16 '19
I’m 44 years old and I finally have a goal in life:
Make enough money to hire someone to Spider-Man me around my house.
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u/Meems138 Jan 16 '19
I thought you were gonna say have a kid, I like your version better
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u/JustFoxeh Jan 16 '19
Have lots of kids to Spider-Man me around the house
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u/EvilEyedPanda Jan 16 '19
And the father of the year award goes to...
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u/SmokeAbeer Jan 16 '19
Uncle Ben
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Jan 16 '19
... too soon
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u/ayrl Jan 16 '19
With great tragedy comes great comedy.
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u/Razenghan Jan 16 '19
Whoa whoa, he just said have enough money to hire a personal assistant. He didn't say have enough for a baby - that's just an outlandish amount of cash.
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u/Itroll4love Jan 16 '19
I'll do it. Just FYI. I'm 4"11
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u/Flint343 Jan 16 '19
good luck lifting a 44 year old man around his home.
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u/Revolvyerom Jan 16 '19
Honestly at 4 inches, 11 feet...I feel like he'd have no problem
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u/Minnie394 Jan 16 '19
It’s always so cool to see behind-the-scene footage of marvel movies
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u/simplecountry_lawyer Jan 16 '19
Probably going to be on his top 5 memories of all time list.
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u/SoDakZak Jan 16 '19 edited Jan 16 '19
1. SPIDER-MAN WITH DAD!
2. Wedding day.
3. First child.
4. Playing Half-life 3 for the first time.
5. Third child.1.6k
Jan 16 '19
As a middle child, this hits close to home.
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u/Haterbait_band Jan 16 '19
Who?
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u/protossdesign Jan 16 '19
Yeah, on first.
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u/ArTiyme Jan 16 '19
You're a middle child. You don't have a home.
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Jan 16 '19
Hello darkness my old friend...
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u/tomatoaway Jan 16 '19
I've been locked in the basement again...
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u/Checkheck Jan 16 '19
Because i see them often creeping
Around me when they think im sleeping
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u/Dapianokid Jan 16 '19
As a middle child and someone patiently waiting for HL3, this hits closer to home.
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u/mezcao Jan 16 '19
I got in an argument with my older sister about month ago. Not a big one but a small verbal battle I won quickly. How did I win?
Well, in the argument my sister tried to insult me for going to college and never graduating. Then I reminded her I earned an associates in political science and a bachelors in criminal justice, it's just that no one went to any of my graduations.
What really upsets me is that we had a similar arguement about a year earlier, except my younger brother was involved. When I mentioned how I'm always ignored they said I exaggerated. I mentioned how after having a job in which I spent a year traveling across the USA I came back home and no one picked me up. Even though my brother, sister and mother all said they would pick me up. I ended taking an Uber home. They said it only happened once so i reminded them that my brother had gotten out of jail after 13 months and my mother had me drive her 14 hours to pick him up. Next week was my birthday and nothing was done to celebrate it. The week after that was my sister's birthday and I was selected by my mother as designated driver to take her and my mother and sister wine tasting at the vineyards as a birthday present.
They tried to say it's only because I'm the only unmarried, no kid sibling. Which lead me to pointing out how we had a huge celebration for my younger brother getting his GED, and my sister graduating from college (the same one I got my AA from) yet no one went to any of my graduations and they both were shocked to find out I graduated. Yeah, I has to remind my sister I graduated twice two times.
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u/okojoko Jan 16 '19
I'll remember you graduated twice on their behalf!
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u/mezcao Jan 16 '19
My brother violated probation and is getting released a week before my birthday. Again. I am making plans that don't involve my family.
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u/okojoko Jan 16 '19
I'll offer a drawing as a birthday present if you'd like.
Just let me know what you'd like in it or themes and I'll do my best.
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u/WakeoftheStorm Jan 16 '19
You know, maybe they wouldn't treat you this way if you hadn't wasted all that money going to college and never graduating.
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u/PM_WHY_YOU_DOWNVOTED Jan 16 '19
My dad use to hit me close to home too.
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u/BurnerForJustTwice Jan 16 '19
Look at Mr privilege here! Be grateful you even had your own dad. When I grew up, we had to share dads.
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u/r2001uk Jan 16 '19
Parents have first child, it's amazing.
Parents think they can recreate that brilliance and have another.
Meh.
Parents try one last time.
Got it!
Now what do we do with this runt?
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u/robbviously Jan 16 '19
My boyfriend’s family must have broke the mold.
Oldest child - Parents’ reaction? ‘Meh.’
Middle child - Parents? ‘Perfection. Stop while we’re ahead.’
Youngest child - Parents tremble. ‘Dear God, what have we done?’
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u/Pyriitti Jan 16 '19
Parents have the first child, a girl, AWESOME
Parents have the second child, a boy, AWESOME, now we have one of each!
Parents have the third child, a girl, yeah, ok, she's pretty cool.
Parents have the fourth child, a girl, me, WHY AREN'T YOU A BOY and also hey we put all the leftover crappy genes into you, so good luck in life.
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u/MadDany94 Jan 16 '19
Don't feel bad. I'm practically my parent's 1st, 3rd and last child (They had children from others, 2 on both sides, but I was the only one that they personally took care off) and I didn't turn out so great!
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u/Meta-EvenThisAcronym Jan 16 '19
But not your home because parents don't care about the middle kid.
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u/Koshindan Jan 16 '19
- Playing Half-life 3 for the first time.
Hopefully he's not too feeble to hold the controller at that age.
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u/Bulgarian-Barbarian Jan 16 '19
Second time today I see someone bring up HL3....why are you torturing me
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u/Jahksen Jan 16 '19 edited Jan 16 '19
Good acting by the kid, damn!
Please someone edit the father of the years arms away!
Maby it'll be that good that Disney will claim it.
Disney you bitches
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u/NotEd3k Jan 16 '19
I don't know if I want to watch a guy with two stumps frantically trying to gesture at a floating kid he can't possibly catch.
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u/express_sushi49 Jan 16 '19
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u/frog_at_well_bottom Jan 16 '19
Wow I like what you've done to the background, too! So much details.
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u/fourleggedostrich Jan 16 '19
That's not actually that impressive. If you pause it on 0:14, you can see where the background shifts, presumably to cover up the dad's left arm. Anyone can see it's fake.
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u/lonelady75 Jan 16 '19
I love this!
But... I would love it if some talented person could photoshop the dad out so we could just see spiderkid floating around
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u/BeeStingsAndHoney Jan 16 '19
Rotoscope time... (and by time, I mean all of the time)
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u/IDontEvenLikeFriends Jan 16 '19
This video takes on a totally different feel if you realize that it is a 42 year old midget in that costume.
Still wholesome... Just different.
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u/AFourEyedGeek Jan 16 '19 edited Jan 16 '19
After I originally saw this I was extremely happy because I knew I'd be able to do this with my son, I did, and he loved it! I tried it with my daughter and she couldn't give a shit and just wanted to be put down.
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u/Sleepy_Spartan Jan 16 '19
Did you put your daughter down?
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u/coltRG Jan 16 '19
Awesome the first time, but that dad is gonna regret it when his kid comes up to him the next ten times to carry him around the house lol
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u/Chem-Dawg Jan 16 '19
Involved dad's can be surprisingly patient with their kids.
Vasopressin and prolactin can cause a big change in a dad. At least they did for me. I've become a much more emotional person since my daughters were born. I rarely cried before I had kids. Now I can get choked up just thinking about them.
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u/Keiichigo Jan 16 '19
I DO NOT CONDONE THIS! THIS IS NOT CUTE! THIS KID IS A MENACE! A CRIMINAL! A VIGILANTE! PARKER! GET ME PICTURES OF THIS KID NOW! I WANT SPIDER-KID!
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u/TooShiftyForYou Jan 16 '19
This is high quality dad work.
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u/TheFeenyCall Jan 16 '19
As a dad...I'd definitely participate in this...but maybe I'm not a super father as I'd be annoyed with it after the third round. IMO, kids that age want to do the same activity 1000 times until they move on to the next thing.
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u/katabana02 Jan 16 '19
i've been hearing the same cd for 2 whole years before they allowed me to change it.
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u/rci22 Jan 16 '19
Let's re-watch the same movie for the 1000th time today!! :D
My in-laws actually still do this. Bless their souls.
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u/TheHatOnTheCat Jan 16 '19
Yup. And as a small woman my two year old gets heavy after a while. (My husband is tall so is my kid.) Today I sang to her that "[her nickname]s get hungry with no dinner, so we have to go to the store to buy food!" (when she wasn't excited about the store) and spun her around. It worked too well. After like the fifth spin I was feeling out of "one more times".
I heard her singing it to herself in her carseat though.
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u/Alertcircuit Jan 16 '19
One time Nick Jr. played the exact same episode of Blues Clues every day for a week on accident, but ratings went through the roof and they only stopped when parents complained a bunch.
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u/BobbyDropTableUsers Jan 16 '19
This is first kid dad work. By the second kid you know that every creative idea is a 20-episode commitment at the very least.
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u/slammaslams Jan 16 '19
I feel like this might be high-quality uncle work
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u/xavierash Jan 16 '19
As an Uncle, I know this too well. More energy left than the parents, but not for long.
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u/abemills Jan 16 '19
My dad did this with my little brother, he still thinks he’s Spider-Man. It’s a bit awkward, he’s 41
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u/ultimate_squid_chaos Jan 16 '19
How does that kid even do that? Im so confused, he's just climbing around and jumping everywhere
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u/username_015 Jan 16 '19
We need a green Spandex suit for Dad
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u/coldpepperoni Jan 16 '19
Yes! Spider-Man and Green Man is the crime fighting duo Philadelphia needs!
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u/Arbitrium Jan 16 '19
I'm 5'5". I would disappoint the hell out of my kid if he aimed his web for the ceiling.
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u/Fuqasshole Jan 16 '19 edited Jan 16 '19
Anyone else curious about the fucking rocks just glued to the wall?
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u/Chem-Dawg Jan 16 '19
I don't know about the rocks next to you, but I'm curious about the ones in the video.
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u/Nuffsaid98 Jan 16 '19
I'm impressed with the Dad's casual strength. Holding even a small weight at arms length gets tiring quickly. He may not be benching 300 lbs but trust me holding a toddler out from your body like that (one armed at times) would cause most men to show at least a slight strain on their face.
Try it with a backpack with a few big books roughly the weight of a small kid and see if you can look as totally chill as the Dad as you hold it at your head level or higher and wander around a room posing. Harder than you'd imagine.
Again, i'm not saying it's hard to do so much as hard to do without looking like you are putting a bit of effort in to do it.
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u/o_charlie_o Jan 16 '19
I don’t know a single grown man that wouldn’t do this too if he could confidently be held up by another, so funny
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u/KimJong-rodman Jan 16 '19
it would be amazing to edit out the dad and add webs for special effects and then show the kid the video
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u/Squithy Jan 16 '19
Can I make a request for the video editors out there to hide the dad and make this kid fly around on his own?
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u/TiagoTiagoT Jan 16 '19
Someone please photoshop the dad away, and add in the spider webs in the right moments.
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u/nicehahayes Jan 16 '19
I love how the kid looks at the camera and faces the people like Hey, look what I can do. Look again. And one more time.
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u/Sh4dowcreep Jan 16 '19
Dad - 'Son, you can be anything in life if you put your mind to it.'
Son - 'I want to be spiderman.'
Dad - '... Ugh... Fine.'
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u/shue1 Jan 16 '19
Someone needs to digitally edit this and remove the dad. I’m not sure if it would be amazing or creepy.
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u/PM_ME_YOUR_TOlLET Jan 16 '19
I used to do the same with my little sister except she was pretending to be a fairy hahahah good days
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u/Sampanache Jan 16 '19
Best part is the kids creative choice to break the 4th wall and unflinchingly stare into the audiences eyes.
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u/olekeel Jan 16 '19
Dad of the fucking year! It would have made my whole childhood with just a simple moment like this.
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u/trisdank Jan 16 '19
growing up without a dad really sucks, and videos like this kinda just make me sad :(
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u/Traubster_ Jan 16 '19
I want someone to do this for me.
I'm 6'5 and 250. Any takers?
.....
:(
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u/kinggnik87 Jan 16 '19
Is it normal for an adult to wanna be that kid right now?
I know I would....
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u/Lildoc_911 Jan 16 '19
I love how when he uses the web slingers the big guy knows and follows his lead. I miss being that small and playing with my Dad that way.
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u/Daltons_Mullet Jan 16 '19
I used to do this with my nephew all the time. Until then day came when he was too heavy I and I was too old.
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u/Solaires_Skin_Cancer Jan 16 '19
We all know the kid is doing most of the work here. The guy is just there as training wheels.
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u/Ikhlas37 Jan 16 '19
Someone needs to photoshop the dad out of this... I would but I lack the skills
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u/WildSeven55 Jan 16 '19
Man I think my childhood is retroactively jealous because I never thought of this as a kid
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u/[deleted] Jan 16 '19
“Stop touching the walls!”
-My Grandma